THE NORTH or THE SOUTH?

[Kishi the Bad Lampshade]

What are your experiences of each? Which is better? Tell me about the people. Where do you want to live? West Country contributions are welcome too. And the Midlands, if we absolutely must.

This isn't an overxcited allcaps title by the way, I named it in honour of the signs on motorways that somtimes point this way or that for a bunch of towns, and then just "THE NORTH/THE SOUTH"  in big block letters for another direction, which tickles me.

[biggytitbo]

It's the North. People who live in the south are cunts. All of them.

[koeman]

Never mind 'if we absolutely must', it's the Midlands all the way. Salt of the earth people, home of Lord Byron, and we know how to take a bullet.

[An tSaoi]

I've never been to the North of England, but I've seen it on telly and I don't like their accents.

[Jack Shaftoe]

Spent first ten years in Lancashire, next twenty in Cornwall. It really fucks up your accent.

[Mr_Simnock]

Pollution, dull countryside, over crowding, higher cost of living, more opportunities in business and the media, no where to get away form it all, roads suffering from over capacity by a large margin, slightly longer life expectancy, higher pay (in some, NOT all jobs ), nearer to certain useful services THE SOUTH

The Lake District, The Peak District, The Yorkshire Dales, lower cost of living, fewer business and media opportunities, some roads busy ( bad during rush hour like every where else ) but majority relatively low on capacity, cleaner air, slightly shorter life expectancy, almost no cockneys, decent beer at prices not enough to cause purchaser to re-mortgage, far, far fewer built up areas THE NORTH

[rudi]

I've yet to meet a single soul down here jealous of Northerners. Speaks volumes...

Of course the north's spacious, petal; you fuckers keep moving down here in your filthy, stinking droves.

[Saucer51]

I live on the south coast which makes me a southerner. I recently met a couple from the Czech Republic and they were advised that if they were to live anywhere in Britain, it should be dine sythe. Something to do with the weather apparently being better. Don't know who gave them this advice or how accurate it is.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Both The South and The North have their good and bad parts- the scenery, the people, the places. The green and pleasant land talked of in Jerusalem belongs mainly to the South, I think. There's certain fields in the South of England where on a warm summer's day, you wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the entire universe. I enjoy parts of the South a great deal.

However, the North is a better place to be for a young person- you're closer to adventure; it's wilder and more exciting out in the countryside. The more isolated areas still have a tight rural community that feels more welcoming socially. There are loads of towns and cities with plenty of character that aren't as imposing as London.

I think we can all of us (except those who disagree) agree that the midlands is a fucking shithole.

[Lord Mandrake]

I've never found reason to go North but I imagine it's constantly dark, cold, raining, racist, violent, full of kids in tracksuits smoking fags and setting fire to car's. Old women in curlers washing their step, row's and row's of bleak little hovel's with piss stained mattresses in the garden's and grumpy old men in flat caps drinking pints of barley and eating loaves of Hovis and just tutting about everything. And the music from Coronation street is playing constantly. And all the women are fat, pasty, ugly, thick vulgar slags.

I'm sure I'd love it.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

LAHNDAHN

[boki]

The green and pleasant land talked of in Jerusalem belongs mainly to...the midlands

fxt.


like, srsly.  I mean I live in a pretty dull towny-town with three cities within a 20-mile radius (in fact, I think they're within 15), yet there's still loads of lovely countryside round 'ere that I don't really go out and appreciate enough (when it's warm enough, of course).

[boki]

I've never found reason to go North but I imagine it's constantly dark, cold, raining, racist, violent, full of kids in tracksuits smoking fags and setting fire to car's.

Sounds like Hackney.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I was only joking. Derby's shit but Derbyshire itself is tewwific.

[the midnight watch baboon]

I lived in the SOUTH age 2-21; the NORTH 21-.

I would score SOUTH 73
                   NORTH 77
              MIDLANDS 16

...if I had 166 pts hanging around.

[biggytitbo]

[Kishi the Bad Lampshade]

baboon, did you live in a nowhere state until you were 2?

[the midnight watch baboon]

It was actually the state of Ohio, so yeah.

[rudi]

Mmm, that's why Norman Cook now lives on the coast of Brighton...

[Danger Man]

The North, violent cunts. The South, wage-slave cunts.

The Midlands, least worst of both worlds, but not the extreme East or West (and especially not Birmingham) which just leaves Nottingham.

Big shout out to the Koeman-Neville Chamberlain Massive!!!!

[koeman]

Well I didn't like to say it, but I was pretty much only talking about Nottingham too (soz boki).

Cheers for the shout out Danger Man, and as a big up to you I should point out that you shot up even further in my estimation when you sang the praises of The Lincolnshire Poacher the other day. A fine pub.

[El Unicornio, mang]

I think people in the north are a bit friendlier, but more narrow-minded, and the girls are better looking. Not a great deal of difference otherwise though.

I found the midlands to be like the UK equivalent of backwoods Arkansas.

[phes]

The North, violent cunts. The South, wage-slave cunts.

I lived in Barnsley for a year and went out regularly there and in Sheffield and in Middlesbrough, but I find the centre of of Portsmouth far more aggressive.

[koeman]

I lived in Barnsley for a year and went out regularly there and in Sheffield and in Middlesbrough, but I find the central parts of Portsmouth far more aggressive.

That's mainly just rudi though, isn't it?

[phes]

that's entirely rudi, being THE centre of Portsmouth and everything.

[Artemis]

I lived in Manchester and visited other parts of The North for about eight years, and have lived in The South the rest of the time.

It took me a while to like The North - there definitely seemed to be more camaraderie and community, but that sometimes felt like it was because everyone knew it was a bit shit so banded together to make the best of it. The girls are better looking in the North, I'd say. Overall, worse weather up there, better attitude, cheaper housing and pretty much everything else, but it can be fucking bleak and miserable, with a much higher ratio of people not really enjoying where they are. Northern attitudes of 'I speak my mind, me' took a bit of getting used to as well, and often felt like an excuse to be a bit aggressive and insensitive then immediately letting yourself off the hook by harking back to Northern concepts of 'saying it how it is'.

The South? Happier people generally, but annoyingly concerned with how much they have or their social status. Prettier landscape if you prefer not to look at haunting desolate wasteland, sorry, T'Moors. Far less bothered about being Southern than Northerners are about being Northern, and more tactful and passive, on the whole. Then again, you get a mix everywhere don't you.

Overall... the worst of the South is worse than the worst of the North but the best of the Souh can't be beaten. Generalisations are stupid. I've just wasted ten minutes.

[Lyndon]

Apparently I'm in the North right now, but I'm still sat here reading you white as bread middle class drippy wankers, listening to Japanese post rock, about to read a bit more Don Quixote. What I'm saying is I can't tell the difference.

[Serge]

I was only joking. Derby's shit but Derbyshire itself is tewwific.

Shoulders, what happened to you in Derby? Do you want to talk about it?

I'm a Midland Man, but I've lived in THE SOUTH for the past thirteen years. And you know what? Neither is better, neither is worse. Everywhere in England is just fine. And Derby is just fine too.

[Danger Man]

And Derby is just fine too.

The Westfield Shopping Centre.



Case closed.

[Serge]

No true Derbian recognises the Westfield. Or that fucking great hotel they've just built which overshadows the Cathedral. Derby might not be Paris, but it's a perfectly nice little town. Live there for 26 years and you'll see what I mean.

_{Serge currently lives in Catford.}