I'm more offensive than you

[Santa's Boyfriend]

(A game of one-upmanship.)

I like pissing in people's gardens.

[boki]

I piss on you while you're pissing in people's gardens and you don't even notice 'cos I force cute puppies and small children to feed you piss-numbing drugs in your sleep.  Whilst pissing on you.

[hpmons]

I like pissing in people.

[Backstage With Slowdive]

I shouted "BRITAIN IS TOP" at the conference on post-colonial literature.

[rudi]

I shouted "Britton on top" at the 1981 Tory Party Conference

[boki]

I'm wearing my mook mask.

[rudi]

I'm mocking your mook mask.

[Mythical Wet Patch]

I am Cnut the Great, Viking King of England and the first guy to use the cheeky 'Ooh, I misread that as a swear' marketing strategy popularised by Fcuk.

[biggytitbo]

HELLOES MISTER PRINCE

[buttgammon]

I collected a year's worth of spunk in a big bucket, which I then poured on a dog with Down's Syndrome.

[boxofslice]

I fucked that dog and licked its back.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

I don't want to piss on anyone's chips

but I still do.

[mook]

I'm wearing my mook mask.

Hang fire there petal, I've been nothing short of saintly for ages.

[Lee]

I'm a Young Conservative.

[biggytitbo]

I'm right wing.

[the midnight watch baboon]

I'm very, very, very rightwing. And I have killed over 3,000 monkeys.

[Uncle TechTip]

I'm left wing. But when there's bodies in the box I track back and clear my lines.

[ThickAndCreamy]

I have arranged and paid for Bruce Forsyth's funeral, scheduled for July 12th 2010. If he is not already dead I have a close understand with his family that they will 'finish the job'.

[biggytitbo]

I'd like to lick Bruce Forsyth's unwigged scalp.

[boki]

Hang fire there petal, I've been nothing short of saintly for ages.

That's why it's me in the damn mask innit

[Hank_Kingsley]

I write 'Hey Arnold' slash fiction with 9/11 themed subplots.

[Santa's Boyfriend]

I write erotic stories about Hale and Pace.

[boki]

I write erotic stories about Hale, Pace and the cat they put in a microwave

[biggytitbo]

I've had erotic sex with Hale and Pace and the cat in the microwave.

[Hank_Kingsley]

I've had terrible sex with Hale's pacemaker.

[biggytitbo]

I've sucked Pace's spunk out of Hale's 'tashe. In a microwave.

[Hank_Kingsley]

I've microwaved Hale's old spunk and spread it on toast covered in Pace's pubes and then washed it down with some of the late Thora Hird's vintage piss.

[biggytitbo]

Yeah I've done that as well, whilst shitting into a retired brickies welcoming gob.

[Hank_Kingsley]

Well, you are northern.

[Johnny Yesno]

Yeah well, whatever you did, I made the devil make you do it.

_{Someone had to say it}