HS Art security and technical issues

[popcorn]

Hi team

As discussed in our meeting this morning, I'm creating this thread for members of the security team to report technical status, outages and technical issues with HS Art.

If you can see this thread, it means you're a member of the security team. Don't worry — ordinary posters (or hackers or spammers) can't see this.

Current HS Art status: normal

[popcorn]

CURRENT OPERATING STATUS:

✅ No issues

[Glebe]

I've send all my personal details - credit card numbers, the lot - to popcorn in the hope that he will sort it all out!

[Ferris]

help help its ferris no one is replying in the normal channels the board has gotten sentient repeat the anus is coming through th

[Glebe]

Now my card is being declined everywhere for lack of funds. Strange!😯

[gabrielconroy]

Hiya security team mates, just wanted to report that there's a memory leak in sector 58.

It should be isolated and filed away quietly before anyone notices

[BlodwynPig]

Now my card is being declined everywhere for lack of funds. Strange!😯

I'm sending you all my cards and bank details as a temporary patch

[pancreas]

You will be funding beer terrorism. Don't say you weren't warned.

[Gob Shine Algorithm]

I was wearing my ID card round my neck on a ribbon and a mischievous dog grabbed it and pulled me to my death on a nearby rail line. Can I get a replacement, pls?

[idunnosomename]

The septic tank containing all your posts has ruptured

We have to get everybody out, now!!!!

[BlodwynPig]

The septic tank containing all your posts has ruptured

We have to get everybody out, now!!!!

Ahhhh!!!

Hello. I joined ages ago, but I never really checked the forums. I feel like such a nob. Feel free to abuse me.

[Glebe]

Purchases of baseball equipment are showing up on my account statement!

[Theoretical Dentist]

"); update users set flounced_at = now() where profile_url = "https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?action=profile"; --

[Glebe]

YOUR CARD HAS BEEN FROZEN DUE TO SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY.

[gabrielconroy]

Please refer this case to the Fraud & Serious Organised Crime Team.

This thread is for security and technical issues as and when they arise, and for the security team to "shoot the breeze".

[dissolute ocelot]

As part of the DoS testing we need everybody to repeatedly hit F5 at 1330 today. Thanks.

[frajer]

This thread is for security and technical issues as and when they arise, and for the security team to "shoot the breeze".

I have shot rogue security team member The Breeze.

He was only 2 days away from retirement.

[popcorn]

CURRENT OPERATING STATUS:

✅ Normal

[idunnosomename]

I cant get it up

[popcorn]

I cant get it up

Known issue

[Ferris]

skill issue

[Cleveland Steamer]

I've just seen on the Comms chat that a story is about to leak about a senior member of HS Art leaving a company laptop on a train containing the entire "Only Fools And Horses But It's..." database, including IP addresses, user account passwords and 1TB of Rodney_farts_and_looks_embarrassed gifs. Just a heads up. It's about to go down, and someone's going to lose their job.

[popcorn]

It's about to go down, and someone's going to lose their job.

Ferris was already fired 18 months ago though. For some reason we still haven't got round to changing the password.

[Ferris]

Can't be me, I head up the "Fawlty Towers but it's..." taskforce. Don't think I even have access to the OFaH drive.

[gabrielconroy]

I don't even know what a train is!!