Insect Auction

[The Pink Chunk Jazz Band]

Silence in the auction room.

Tonight, thank you. Gentle ladies and men the insect auction is under way and I thank you only to bid to me, to bid, with finger, or voice or chummed pixel deposit. Twig or spiracle or eyebrow. The bidding is away. All sales are final.

Ladies and ladies, if you can envision it, an insect of the garden. A garden insect, the earthworm. This fine segmented piece is from the private collection of Pen Rollings and comes in at an earthly seven inches of extension.

Starting the bids at a fifty pence. Can I hear fifty peh from the peewits in the back row.

Fifty I have. Can I get a sixty pee pence piece in my lobe.

I hear sixty from the eaves. Let's push it to a princely quid. A quid for the earth-worn worm, the executor of fluffy crumbed garden silage.

Going for a one pound. A one pound coin. A minted bit. A mucky bint. Sold to the sizzling shade in the gables. Package it up you are going home with an earth worm.

[The Pink Chunk Jazz Band]

Next on the docket, if you'll check your programs, we have a, well, we've got about half a ant. Half a ant.

Furnished with a feeler, three limb, partial thorax, might be eye.

Starting reserve at a ten pound for this. Can I hear a ten pound shout from the hoes at the back. Can I get a ten pound shout for a half a ant

[The Pink Chunk Jazz Band]

SOLD to the man with the shimmering blank for a face.

QUIET IN THE AUCTION ROOM.

We still have 1,714 items to get through.

[Replies From View]

Looking forward to when the clothes moth is up.

[The Pink Chunk Jazz Band]

SHUSH ON THE FLOOR.

Can I get a pallor across the parlour?

Next up for flog, it's... a wing. A wing of insect unknown. Donated from some kid off some allotment with some ailment.

A wing. I start the big drizzle at twenty pound. A twenty pound item, this wing, of nonpareil gossamer construct, so dainty it painted and veined it set a cathedral window rattling in envy.

A wing. Can I get a hollaback from the chapel. Yes, vestibule. Twenny on the vest.

Startle the bidders with a dribble of shitcoin. We have it from scrabblings on the static. Thirty from the floor. The man's an arsehole. Forty without consent. Push the tempo. I have sixty from the godless middlespace. We have a hundred, burzum and mayhem, we have two.

Two hundred to the new girl. Going once, going off. On one. Gone.

[Replies From View]

^{_{Hopefully the clothes moth will be next.}}

[Dr Rock]

HURRY UP WITH SPIDER, I WANT SPIDER.

[Replies From View]

^{_{I will outbid you on spider Dr Rock}}

[Dr Rock]

HA WE WILL SEE MR BUTTERCUP, I HAVE PLENTY PLENTY MOOLAH FOR RIGHT SPIDER OR BITS THEREOF!

[Replies From View]

^{_{We will see the length of your coffers and coppers, Heinrich Spend}}

[Dr Rock]

IS MOUSE SOON? I WANT BUY SPECIAL MOUSE

[jobotic]

My phone client - a Red-Crowned Crane dialling in from China - will outbid you both.

[anton dick]

Stand aside plebs, big baller coming through.

[Replies From View]

My phone client - a Red-Crowned Crane dialling in from China - will outbid you both.

Doubtful considering her name is Lackcash Pocketholes

[Replies From View]

HURRY UP WITH SPIDER, I WANT SPIDER.

announce it now in the middle of the grasshopper bidding.  I promise it will count as a bid for the spider ^_<chort!>

[idunnosomename]

Spiders are not inseggs. There mollucks.

[Glebe]

Mr. Toad crassly flaunting his fortune.

[idunnosomename]

Thats only like 20 bucks

[Glebe]

"Look what we bought in the auction to cheer you up!"

[Mr Eggs]

I want some ants. Big dick ants that fuck hard.

[Glebe]

I want some ants. Big dick ants that fuck hard.