Nicknames for kids at your school

[kalowski]

Thomas Ian Taunton was known as TIT.

[Terence Bowl]

There was a let's say cerebrally challenged kid at school who one day while some other kids were round at his house announced that he'd taught his dog a new trick then proceeded to get the dog up on his bed and wank it off in front of them. From that day on he became known as Chug-a-dug.
The only other one I can currently recall from secondary school was an extremely fat kid who was universally known as Saggy to the point that I don't think I ever knew his real name.

There was a kid from a nearby school who was known to all as Stevie Stauner. One time I asked another kid from his school why they called him that and got the answer "Because he's a fucking dick". I also remember an older lad who was known as Gordon Golfball apparently due to losing a testicle in a golfing related mishap.

[Moj]

Smelly Paul was a gigantic lad who absolutely stank of BO. Some kids were messing about with felt pens on a Friday and he got a line drawn on his cheek. It was still there on the Monday,which in 1994 made you absolutely fair game.

A kid was known as Doug because of a dancehall song (iirc) with the line "My name is Douglas, and I ain't got no friends". Someone had seen him walking home on his own on a weekend and it stuck. He owned it and he was quite popular, and it sticks around this day in the area (maybe city wide) as a term roughly equivalent to the US usage of "going stag". "You're going to go on your Doug?" "Oh lads, wait a minute, let's not leave him on his Doug" etc.

And Polo was a girl who apparently sucked off a bloke and had a particular brand of mint afterwards to get rid of the taste.

[Inspector Norse]

Sniffer - supposedly something to do with wthe footballer Allan "Sniffer" Clarke, even though the kid wasn't called Alan or Clarke, didn't look like Allan Clarke, and this was 20 years after Allan Clarke was famous
Doddy - no idea, kid was not named Dodd
John Thomas - kid was called John Thomson
Mike - kid's surname was Hunt
Yoghurt Boy - his dad ran a dairy
Messyman - cruel nickname we had for a younger kid based on observation of his lunchtime habits
Jonny Sausage
Either Chicky or Chocky, can't remember
Tacky - no idea
Fodder - no idea
Boring Matt - possibly never said to his face
Big Tall Ed - unironic
Shandy - he was from down south, therefore soft
Kevin Horse - can't remember his real name, the nickname came about because someone found a story he'd written for English homework and the main character was called Kevin Horse
Rickets - think this was just because he was crap in PE
Chubby - no idea, as the kid was of average build. He didn't seem to mind
Jolly - possibly a contraction of his first name and surname, can't remember, because there was another kid whose surname actually Jolly and he didn't get called that
Monty the Living Wonder - supposedly looked like Mr Burns, and there were rumours about him being spectacularly well-endowed
Lippy - he was a gobshite
Wogarse - I have absolutely no idea and am not sure I want to know
Geoff - his surname was Hurst
The Gavster - his name was Gavin, think we called him this out of meanness rather than as a "cool" nickname
Gypsy - new kid who was reluctant to talk about his background, resulting in the natural cruelty of the playground taking over. He changed schools again fairly soon
Porno Pete
Mysterious Pete

[Underturd]

My mate called himself a Thieving Gypsy Bastard but I don't know if that was because it was a nickname from Viz, or because it was true.

[Shaxberd]

This is a bit off topic but about a decade ago I had a coworker who amused himself by coming up with nicknames, some for co-workers but mostly for people in other teams, particularly the business analysts we shared an office with.

Some of the ones I can remember:
Bri - short for Brian, an analyst my co-worker admired for how shamelessly he would get his work done in two hours and then watch football for the rest of the day
Tie Bri - like Bri but always wore a shirt and tie
Gri - ginger Bri
Young Si - looked like a younger version of a guy in our team called Simon
Fast Eddie - big fat security guard
40 Long / Quattro Languez - tall and chunky fella in our team, named for his trouser measurements

He called me 'Comrade' after I mentioned having been a teenage communist, which wasn't that bad, all things considered.

[badaids]

There was a let's say cerebrally challenged kid at school who one day while some other kids were round at his house announced that he'd taught his dog a new trick then proceeded to get the dog up on his bed and wank it off in front of them. From that day on he became known as Chug-a-dug.

There was a lad at our school who always used to wank off another mate's dog to annoy him, whenever we went round his house. But he was really hard so no one dared give him a nickname in spite of all the dog wanking.

[Cuntbeaks]

Rab Kebab - Suffered with terrible acne

Cancer - No idea, didn't enquire as he was a violent mentalist.

Johnny Moonman - Low IQ fantasist that was easily convinced to do very silly and often dangerous things.

Ape Man - Bore an uncanny resemblance to this card in the Horror Top Trumps

[madhair60]

One of Greg Davies's standup shows has a load of these in from his school. My favourite was the kid called Baghdad, because he had a bag that his dad had bought him.

and this is genuinely true!!

[4000Foals]

Many of my pals have carried school nicknames into their 50s.

Ken - called Craig but chickened out of garden hopping as a kid so was named Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Ping - had a golf umbrella

Binky - school teacher named his due to surname being Banks

Treacle - Ian had very thick spunk according to Debbie Graham

Bert Jaffa - big balls, no product

Remmi - early shaver, as in Remington.

Impulse - party trick from a gam lass, inserting a hairspray vessel up her quim.

Stig - I looked like the TV character