Singers whose voices you utterly loathe

[phantom_power]

Liam Gallagher's voice is hilariously shit nowadays. It sounds great on those first two Oasis albums but watching him at The Biggest Weekend thing on telly the other week and it seemed ridiculous to imagine that anyone would think he sounded good.

I don't like the overly-affected voices of a lot of modern female pop singers. Your Anne Marie's and Jess Glynne's.

I second Robert Plant as well. He ruins a lot of Zep songs for me, though I am not  a big fan of theirs anyway. I hate that rock squawk that him and Axl Rose and the like do

[Steven]

That fucking annoying nasal one-note staccato delivery a lot of supposedly Post-punk punky bands do, as exemplified by:

https://youtu.be/9Ht5RZpzPqw?t=18s

[TheMonk]

As of a few minutes ago, modern day Bobby Kimball from Toto.

[itsfredtitmus]

dont get hate for robert plank's voice

[Phil_A]

I'm with Wet Blanket on the shouters. Applies to rappers too. Why I could never really get into the Beastie Boys.

Kurt Cobain was as bad as any post-grunger for that raspy earnestness surely?

Your Chad Kroegers and Bloke From Crash Test Dummies of the world tended to have that kind of melodramatic fist-clenching self-seriousness that Kurt didn't really do, and he at least had a modicum of self awareness.

[Neville Chamberlain]

Oh god, yeah, yer Nickelbacks and all that bollocks.

[wosl]

Elvis Costello

My main one, and a bind, because if I didn't dislike his singing so much I'd have likely given the albums the good go; still like some of the more frequently played tracks a lot, despite his voice (New Amsterdam, Pump It Up, Accidents Will Happen).  Others are less troubling to live without: Bon Scott's cocksman mewl; Brian McMahan (both cool-story-bro mumbled and twerpish howl modes) and Malcolm Lacey, from the band (or it might be a solo alias moniker) Arrange, who does some of the most ghastly, self-indulgently overwrought, confessional-type vox I've heard (his songs often have commensurately overblown titles - anyone for And My Hands Denied Me My Right?).  Steady, this'll turn the air green when he starts up: Where I Go At Night.  That perpetual waver in his voice, obviously there to vouchsafe the sincerity of the soul-baring.

[sevendaughters]

Steady, this'll turn the air green when he starts up: Where I Go At Night.  That perpetual waver in his voice, obviously there to vouchsafe the sincerity of the soul-baring.

57 seconds.

[popcorn]

They're not exactly held up as prize vocalists but - the Spice Girls, fucking hell, I don't understand how they were considered acceptable pop singers. Especially Mel C, who is the one generally seen as having the closest thing to a real singing voice, but to my ears has a horrible, thin, astringent quality, urgh urgh.

[Fabian Thomsett]

Morrissey (oh huh ho ho )

Blokey out of Crash Test Dummies

[Keebleman]

Morrissey and Phil Oakey have never sounded anything other than ghastly to me.  Both have an awful flatness.

The bloke from the B-52s.  His horrible wheedling suits Rock Lobster but is totally inadequate for a more conventional song like Love Shack.

But the palm goes to Frankie Valli, because his grotesque falsetto is not only ridiculous, it ruins so many superb songs: Let's Hang On, Sherry, Working My Way Back to You, Walk Like a Man.  When he dropped down a few octaves, like on Can't Take My Eyes Off You, it's a blessed relief.

[wosl]

The bloke from the B-52s.  His horrible wheedling suits Rock Lobster but is totally inadequate for a more conventional song like Love Shack

For a guy whose shtick is based on a sleazy, camp, emcee/spiv persona, I think he's always exercised a decentish amount of restraint across their work (to judge from the albums I know, anyway).  If you watch one of their live show recordings, you might be surprised at how judicious his interjections, both vocally and spotlight drawing-wise, are.  I think he's always been quite mindful of trying to offset Kate and Cindy's glorious singing in a supportive and balanced way.  At any rate, he gets a pass (cue a Kenneth Williams shocked face) from me. 

[hermitical]

Mike Patton.

I've read that he has a huge range but after the disappointment of seeing FNM soon after Chuck had gone and this nasally, whining jerk had replaced him there was no way I was ever going to put myself through listening to him by choice again. There were times working in the record shop I had to spend almost a whole Saturday listening to FNM on repeat - hell on earth

[maett]

Bobby Gillespie

Heather Small

Cilla Black

Karen Carpenter

[Brundle-Fly]

Always found Bernard Sumner's vocals a bit weedy although I like them on the Electronic stuff.

[jobotic]

Wow that Arrange thing is truly hideous. Be alright if he shut up as well.

Any slam poetry/punk thing that goes Indocktreenaytion across the naytion, desseminaytion of false informaytion etc etc . You know the type. Usually in an exaggerated cockney or Manc accent.

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

Robert Plant is the weak link in Zeppelin. Biggest show off with the most to be modest about. Imagine what Zep would have sounded like with Ian Gillan or Ossie.

Do you mean Ozzy Osbourne?

Fuck me he can barely sing let alone handle some bluesy caterwauling ala Zeppelin, I love Sabbath but Ozzy's flat singing is hardly the strongest part of their act.

Another nomination from me and one I'm surprised I haven't seen yet: that beetle browed cunt from The Stereophonics.

Also Dexter Holland from Offspring, flat as a witches tit.

[bgmnts]

Yeah fuck Axl Rose. Piss awful voice.

Has one of the craziest vocal ranges in rock to be fair to him.

[boki]

Billy Bloody Mackenzie

[Keebleman]

Heather Small

Oh God, her too.  That horrid honk.

Another one: Neil Young.  I think my aversion to him is because before I ever heard his voice I had an idea that it was a rich Van Morrison tenor.  When I found out it was in fact a reedy little whine I was very disappointed.

[itsfredtitmus]

Should have included ANOHNI, another one of those Tindersticks type voices

[holyzombiejesus]

I used to fucking love Amelia Fletcher to the point of obsession but when I finally got round to listening to her latest band, The Catenary Wires, I couldn't stand her voice. Maybe I'm just that bit older now, or maybe I find the breathy little girl vocals a bit off putting when the singer is a 52 year old Professor of Competition Policy at the University of East Anglia, but stuff like this is just anathema to me now.

[holdover]

That affected, grunting, faux-emotional, eggy warble post-grunge singers generally sing with. A kind of hybrid of James Hetfield, Eddie Vedder and Chris Cornell. Yer Nickelback dude is one of the obvious main offenders, but there are dozens of the cunts. The worst one was that cover of Simon & Garfunkel's Sound Of Silence done by Disturbed. Absolutely fucking awful.

One of the Gomez lads did that. It seemed ever worse from an English throat.

[Kane Jones]

Do you mean Ozzy Osbourne?

Fuck me he can barely sing let alone handle some bluesy caterwauling ala Zeppelin, I love Sabbath but Ozzy's flat singing is hardly the strongest part of their act.

We should do a thread about singers who are technically balls but you like them anyway. I love Ozzy's voice. It's so distinctive and his melodies are really interesting and catchy.

While I don't particularly like Axl or Brian Johnson's tone, you always know it's them. At least they have a distinctive sound.

[Jockice]

I used to fucking love Amelia Fletcher to the point of obsession but when I finally got round to listening to her latest band, The Catenary Wires, I couldn't stand her voice. Maybe I'm just that bit older now, or maybe I find the breathy little girl vocals a bit off putting when the singer is a 52 year old Professor of Competition Policy at the University of East Anglia, but stuff like this is just anathema to me now.

I loved all that stuff in my 20s but find it unbearable now, apart from the very occasional hearing of an oldie. I realised that I'd outgrown it in my early 30s when I listened to Belle And Sebastian and thought 'what is this twee shit?' It actually came as quite a relief.

[greenman]

We should do a thread about singers who are technically balls but you like them anyway. I love Ozzy's voice. It's so distinctive and his melodies are really interesting and catchy.

Never really had a problem with him with Sabath of solo(although I'm not a giant fan of either) but as said no way on earth could he have handled Plants role in Zep.

Dennis Wilson would probably win on CaB though wouldn't he?

[Kane Jones]

Never really had a problem with him with Sabath of solo(although I'm not a giant fan of either) but as said no way on earth could he have handled Plants role in Zep.

Dennis Wilson would probably win on CaB though wouldn't he?

For the record, I love Plant's wailing and think the people who don't are wrong 'uns.

Having said that, I think Paul Stanley had one of the greatest voices of all time in his heyday (late 80s/early 90s - certainly not the 70s), which will go down here about as well as.. Well, a lead zeppelin.

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

Agree on Elvis Costello, has almost led to me pretty much giving up any interest in checking out his stuff.

Similarly, Green Gartside out of Scritti, but in that case the music has a weird polished staleness about it too - despite all the interesting stuff going on in it - which certainly doesn't help.

[Cold Meat Platter]

Dave Mustaine. Sneering, whiney load of old bollocks.
David Gray. Just a visceral reaction of pure hatred as fudamental as the need to pull my hand from a fire.

[the ouch cube]

Morrissey

Yeah. Marr isn't lacking in guitar skillz but then SPM swoops in with his "no one underst-a-a-a-r-r-r-r-ds me because I am so brilliant" schtick, reducing everything to a French and Saunders sketch about Adrian Mole: The Musical.

Ian Brown - surely the single least talented singer of any major (or even minor) guitar group in the whole history of popular music. He makes Anthony Kiedis sound like Nina Simone.

Ian Broudie - has this cunt only got a molecule for a larynx or something? Awful weedy simperings.