Your absolute least favourite song

[BlodwynPig]

Very late to this thread...managed to nod sagely in agreement with Black Eyed Peas and Robbie posts. Garbage.

Black Eyed Peas are synonymous with artists that betray their roots - now they were shit in the first place, but you could see why people were buying this particular brand of shit. But I recently came across some crappy advert for a dance video game - you know the type - at the end of the advert it said music by Black Eyed Peas and the track name - it was from that album with a green neon face. The music was unbelievably atrocious. Crappy dance music with no relevance to the shit BEP initially started to find fame for. Basically, a big FUCK YOU to humankind - we drew you in, and now we can shit napalm from our arses and you will lap it up.

This phenomenon can be found also with Katie Perry - the first single "I kissed a girl" was pap, but with some glimmer of catchiness. What happens next - collaborations with Snoop Doggy Dog and anonymous chart abortions that are better heard as ringtones blasted at your sphincter than their original versions.

Anyway, back on topic. Can I nominate Queen's anthem of crud "We Will Rock You" - I would rampage if ever I found myself in a group of men ladding it up to that. Rampage!

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

Apologies.

Anyways just to reiterate Robbie Williams is the shits whose solo career has no redeeming characteristics.

Kings Of Leon - Sex On Fire

Oh, I dunno...

Robbie Williams Pushed By Fan While Performing!!

[Peru]

There's something utterly draining about The Mavericks' 'Dance The Night Away', especially as it often seems to be the first song played at weddings/funerals etc to try and 'get people on the dancefloor'. It is so insipid it is actually quite frightening.

[SavageHedgehog]

Re: BEPs; how many of you have read the fascinating Wall Street Jornal article about them. I'm not usually one to go on about music being "too commercial" and stuff, but this is an eye opener to say the least.

[rjd2]

Very late to this thread...managed to nod sagely in agreement with Black Eyed Peas and Robbie posts. Garbage.

Black Eyed Peas are synonymous with artists that betray their roots - now they were shit in the first place, but you could see why people were buying this particular brand of shit. But I recently came across some crappy advert for a dance video game - you know the type - at the end of the advert it said music by Black Eyed Peas and the track name - it was from that album with a green neon face. The music was unbelievably atrocious. Crappy dance music with no relevance to the shit BEP initially started to find fame for. Basically, a big FUCK YOU to humankind - we drew you in, and now we can shit napalm from our arses and you will lap it up.

This phenomenon can be found also with Katie Perry - the first single "I kissed a girl" was pap, but with some glimmer of catchiness. What happens next - collaborations with Snoop Doggy Dog and anonymous chart abortions that are better heard as ringtones blasted at your sphincter than their original versions.

Anyway, back on topic. Can I nominate Queen's anthem of crud "We Will Rock You" - I would rampage if ever I found myself in a group of men ladding it up to that. Rampage!

Spot on with everything you said in that post, except and Christ it hard to def theyend the BEP as they are cancer, but they were at least tolerable before Fergie joined. A poor man's Dilated Peoples or J5 which isn't the worse thing in the world really.
Proof?
Black Eyed Peas - Joints & Jam (Extended Version)


Thats  bloody good!

There's something utterly draining about The Mavericks' 'Dance The Night Away', especially as it often seems to be the first song played at weddings/funerals etc to try and 'get people on the dancefloor'. It is so insipid it is actually quite frightening.

True, although at least its not Lonestar "Amazed".

[Sexton Brackets Drugbust]

This phenomenon can be found also with Katie Perry - the first single "I kissed a girl" was pap, but with some glimmer of catchiness. What happens next - collaborations with Snoop Doggy Dog and anonymous chart abortions that are better heard as ringtones blasted at your sphincter than their original versions.

I'm astonished that Katie Perry has managed to make a career out of being mildly suggestive about her tits. Her entire act seems to revolve around this.

Surely it shouldn't satisfy anyone, given that there's better music to be heard by music fans and completely naked breasts all over the internet for the tit fans.

[DJ One Record]

I'm quite lucky in that my absolute least favourite song doesn't get much airplay these days. But I still find "Going Under" by Evanescence absolutely vile. I generally don't like songs where the artists choose melodrama to express self-pity anyway (it's such an obvious and unimaginative choice, and makes the artist very hard to sympathise with), but in the hands of the nu-metal equivalent of Celine Dion I find it utterly intolerable. No merit whatsoever.

[CaledonianGonzo]

I'm astonished that Katie Perry has managed to make a career out of being mildly suggestive about her tits. Her entire act seems to revolve around this.

Surely it shouldn't satisfy anyone, given that there's better music to be heard by music fans and completely naked breasts all over the internet for the tit fans.

Havers.  Hot'n'Cold is a great pop song.

[Sexton Brackets Drugbust]

Havers.

Nigel?

[chand]

I would nominate 'Get Right' by Jennifer Lopez.

Jennifer Lopez - Get Right

It's the only song I can think of that irritates me on such a fundamental level, that I hate it as soon as I hear it not because I know what's coming, but because it's terrible RIGHT from the start, for the ENTIRE song. There's no let up. It's that incredibly annoying saxophone bit that plays throughout the entire track and bores right into your skull. I genuinely almost feel like it gives me a reflex headache as soon as it starts playing.

It's so bad that the fact that Jennifer Lopez, who is possibly the least talented singer I have ever heard (that is not even an exaggeration), doesn't stand out as terrible on it. Where the shitness of the song is concerned, her vocals are neither here nor there. It's awe-inspiringly bad.

I...actually quite like this. The repetitive horn sample is what actually makes it for me though. I don't care for the lyrics or Lopez herself or any of the rest of it, but I quite like the horn sample and it's alright for what it is.  It's miles away from even being Lopez's greatest atrocity, which would be her current single, which is a shit amped-up dance version of the fucking Lambada:

Jennifer Lopez - On The Floor ft. Pitbull

The "No Way No Way" from above (my least favourite song of the 90s) has to bow down to this fucking atrocity:

3 Of A Kind - Babycakes

No.1 in the pop charts. A nothing song, with tunelessness elevated to an art form.

It's inextricably linked for me with that awful point in time where ringtone adverts were everywhere. It was the point in 2004 where everyone had a mobile, but it wasn't at that stage where everyone could just use their own mp3s for ringtones, so fucking Jamster were rolling in money, pumping it out of idiots who wanted things like this as their ringtone. I spent three weeks with my girlfriend lazing about that summer, and we would find ourselves some nights just watching the music channels. Every ad break you would have the same overlong advert, featuring this song, and there would be shorter versions twice more in the same break where you would be confronted with it again and again and again.

Songs about America get my goat. I can't decide which is worse, Kim Wilde's "We're the Kids in America" or that fucking bollocks by Red Box circa 1986, I can't remember the exact title but it had "America" in it (I ain't looking it up). Kim Wilde actually looks French and not American in her video so maybe that swings it.

'America' by Razorlight, a song which seems like it's all foreplay to some big, colossal, skyscraping, climactic explosion, but then just...ends. Well I suppose the last chorus is slightly less plodding than the rest, but it felt like it was going somewhere. It starts out like a song that's gonna be 9 minutes long and will go MENTAL halfway through, but in the end it just pisses on boringly and eventually fucks off.

http://youtu.be/V9NhncU5_CE

[chand]

No noms for "I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker" yet?...meh, I would do it but it's just a wee bit played out

You could write whole essays about how awful it is. The lyrics are the easiest bit to take the piss out of, and the fact that she so clearly thinks she's saying something Profound And Important makes them worse, but it's such an awful, shit tune as well.

The way it starts out acappella, which is always the sign of someone who thinks a) they've got an incredible soulful voice and b) YOU'RE ABOUT TO HEAR A PROPER ANTHEM HERE. Yet, what actually comes out of her mewling, advert-jingle-singing mouth first is THIS. FUCKING THIS:

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In '77 and '69 revolution was in the air

...instantly co-opting two hugely different movements into one in the worst kind of "woo! Let's buy rebellious t-shirts from Topshop" sloganeering. Every single fucking lyric in the song is so monumentally awful as to make me want to feed my ears to a hungry dog, but I will save special mention for the vacuous yearning for a time when "the super info highway was still drifting out in space", sung by an artist who famously made her entire career exploiting the promotional possibilities of the internet.

There's just something so intolerably nauseating about someone who yearns for revolution by harking on back to the fucking old days like your dithering old racist gran, clutching a rolled-up Daily Mail as she natters about when we still had to send handwritten letters in the cunting post, and the good old days when "footballers still had long hair and dirt across their face". That's an actual lyric from Sandi Thom's song. ON TOP OF THAT there's a line that apparently calls for more ignorance, and a line which confuses Tony Blair for the Queen.

But the absolute nadir of the song has to be this bit:

And when god saved the queen she turned a whiter shade of pale

Just such a toweringly awful lyric. A lyric which is shit because it thinks it's clever, when all it's done is awkwardly stick two song titles together to make them both into a completely meaningless, empty void. You know when she wrote that she sat back and beamed with pride, because she was too stupid to understand the extent of her unutterable shitness. There are probably people who heard that and thought they were clever for getting how it was two song title references. I hope all those people are now dead.

[Roy*Mallard]

Beautifully put, Chand. It's a fucking abomination and i hope that one day she is truly embarrassed by that awful piece of kak. Doubt it though.

[The Boston Crab]

Nicely done, Chad. I'm sure you could go on for another few pages with that one but you've nailed the worst offending moments.

Two guys in my mate's band quit just as the band was about to sign an album deal to become session musicians. A week later they were playing with Nash on TOTP at Number One. My mate went to LIPA with her as well, said she was appalling in every single way, most of all as a human being, so he was pretty nauseous about how things turned out. And yet, history still favoured him, in reality. She pretty much destroyed her musical credibility and commercial appeal with that one song.

[rjd2]

Oxide & Neutrino Bound 4 Da Reload



This wasn't good at all! The rapping isn't very good but thats the least offensive thing about the track, the samples most notably the Lock Stock shit is horrid, its one of those songs thats depressing to listen to.

Mario Winans ft. P.Diddy - I Don't Wanna Know (Official Music Video)


Horrible use of an Enya sample, soulless RnB cronning and to top of it, P Diddy's worse guest spot. This along with the Oxide And Neutrino song were number one for yonks.

[SavageHedgehog]

Bound 4 Da Reload defines the term "beyond parody". I mean, how could you possibly make that more ridiculous? The only way I can think of is if they'd sampled Parkinson rather than Casualty

[bluestar]

As it appears nobody's going to enliven my Sunday afternoon with a vitriolic dismantling of a Manic Street Preachers song, I have decided to take it upon myself. But where to start? I don't particularly want to touch upon the hits. We all know they're awful. The bloated pomposity of ' Madame Blavatsky's Blues' or the utterly ludicrous, 'The lyrics to one song, the tune of another...'. Easy targets...

So, I've plumped for a slightly more obscure album track from the turn of the century. Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you Nicky Wire's arse clenchingly awful, ' I've got a degree in political science!! ( But I don't like to talk about it ) '.

http://youtu.be/pi.ff.le

( Edit; Why won't this link work, Neil? )   

[Gulftastic]

Give us the title! I want to hear it now.

[Low Rent Ian Beale]

The early 90s saw a glut of sampled childhood themes and memes,Schoolhouse Rock,Charley Says,Sesame Street and this barrel scrapping effort by Shaft.

Oddly rather than going with Richard Briers original narration, presumably for copywrite permission they got someone creepy uncle to interrupt to read out random bits, add a bit of italian house seemingly from a different record altogether to the front end like some dodgy chop shop motor and jobs a good un.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-R7ijBPjnA&feature=player_embedded#at=48

[SavageHedgehog]

That was just for the TOTP performance though. The single version had samples, although oddly they didn't seem to be of Richard Briers either. My guess is it was from one of those kiddie story tapes/albums.

No one should know this stuff.

[Serge]

Two guys in my mate's band quit just as the band was about to sign an album deal to become session musicians. A week later they were playing with Nash on TOTP at Number One. My mate went to LIPA with her as well, said she was appalling in every single way, most of all as a human being, so he was pretty nauseous about how things turned out. And yet, history still favoured him, in reality. She pretty much destroyed her musical credibility and commercial appeal with that one song.

Do you mean Sandi Thom? Or are you talking about Kate Nash?

I used to work with a guy who did session work and he worked with James Blunt years before he became famous. At the time, Blunt was apparently thinking of forming a band called The Money Shot. He lived up to his rhyming slang reputation as well. I still regret that my friend didn't go on to work with him and appear on TOTP, as he was the nearest human equivalent to Groundskeeper Willie, and I would have loved to see him standing behind Blunt gurning away.

[The Boston Crab]

Sorry, yeah, Sandi Thom! Apologies to Kate Nash, who is also shit.


Also, Sandi Thom's album title 'Smile...It Confuses People' is probably the cuntiest album title I've ever heard, ever.


Oh, Sandi, these pure bullets of wry heaven-sent wisdom are blowing my mind. Why can't we just all get along, guys?

[momatt]

Apologies.

I don't how I missed that, maybe its because I am a s*****c?

Anyways just to reiterate Robbie Williams is the shits whose solo career has no redeeming characteristics.

Kings Of Leon - Sex On Fire

Oh and I heard this in work earlier and instantly I felt like I had the worries of the World on my sexy shoulders, its so empty, horrible and subpar U2 shit..  Unlike the Black Eyed Peas who had only a few decent tracks before Fergies destroyed them, Kings were once really good, their debut album especially was lovely.

I used to hate that song, until my mate's five-year old son started singing along very loudly - except he thinks it's called SOCKS ON FIRE, and giggles like a madman when he hears it.  But they are well shit though.
You heard the trance remix by Tina Cousins?  It's even worse, and the female's attenmpts to be 'sexy' are just awfully car-crashish.
Tina Cousins - Sex On Fire - Official Video

Of course Sandi Thom is a cunt, but is a silly novelty act really.  Don't feel that strongly either way, but still wish she was dead for that album title.

[Johnny Townmouse]

Least favourite song? Great idea for a thread, and much more interesting than 'most hated song', but I'm not sure everyone is entering into the spirit.

I would say that due to over-saturation, and being the only song chosen to play on countdown shows on which they have appeared, Joy Division's Love Will Tear Us Apart is close to being my least favourite song.

[Retinend]

You could write whole essays about how awful it is. The lyrics are the easiest bit to take the piss out of, and the fact that she so clearly thinks she's saying something Profound And Important makes them worse, but it's such an awful, shit tune as well.

The way it starts out acappella, which is always the sign of someone who thinks a) they've got an incredible soulful voice and b) YOU'RE ABOUT TO HEAR A PROPER ANTHEM HERE. Yet, what actually comes out of her mewling, advert-jingle-singing mouth first is THIS. FUCKING THIS:

...instantly co-opting two hugely different movements into one in the worst kind of "woo! Let's buy rebellious t-shirts from Topshop" sloganeering. Every single fucking lyric in the song is so monumentally awful as to make me want to feed my ears to a hungry dog, but I will save special mention for the vacuous yearning for a time when "the super info highway was still drifting out in space", sung by an artist who famously made her entire career exploiting the promotional possibilities of the internet.

There's just something so intolerably nauseating about someone who yearns for revolution by harking on back to the fucking old days like your dithering old racist gran, clutching a rolled-up Daily Mail as she natters about when we still had to send handwritten letters in the cunting post, and the good old days when "footballers still had long hair and dirt across their face". That's an actual lyric from Sandi Thom's song. ON TOP OF THAT there's a line that apparently calls for more ignorance, and a line which confuses Tony Blair for the Queen.

But the absolute nadir of the song has to be this bit:

Just such a toweringly awful lyric. A lyric which is shit because it thinks it's clever, when all it's done is awkwardly stick two song titles together to make them both into a completely meaningless, empty void. You know when she wrote that she sat back and beamed with pride, because she was too stupid to understand the extent of her unutterable shitness. There are probably people who heard that and thought they were clever for getting how it was two song title references. I hope all those people are now dead.

Thankyou for this. Maybe some people would say that it's best to forget about it after all these years, but I believe that if history isn't remembered then we're doomed to repeat it. Like those holocaust museums, we should set up memorials to its awfulness to make sure that atrocities like this are never forgotten:

And when god saved the queen she turned a whiter shade of pale

And when god saved the queen she turned a whiter shade of pale

And when god saved the queen she turned a whiter shade of pale

And when god saved the queen she turned a whiter shade of pale

And when god saved the queen she turned a whiter shade of pale

And when god saved the queen she turned a whiter shade of pale

[SavageHedgehog]

Even though I agree it's one of the worst ever, it still amused me how many people didn't get that the song was contrasting hippies with punks. "How could anyone think punks wore flowers in their hair?!?" etc.

[Jemble Fred]

The thing about that song is that it's now only remembered by Thom, her immediate family, and people who have allowed their hatred for her to eat away at their souls, so it's not exactly an irritant in life generally.

[mycroft]

...and Alex Salmond, whose infatuation with La Thom became quite the running joke in the corridors of Scottish politics. He even gifted a copy of her album to Sean Connery and performed a duet with her at one of her gigs.

[CaledonianGonzo]

And hack stand-up comedians of the Andy Parsons variety.

As for Thom herself, I think she's now pretty much back to busking round pubs for spare change.

[The Boston Crab]

Finally, she can live that authentic life without the trappings of commercialism!

[Catalogue Trousers]

So...Bon Jovi have already been mentioned, but why pick on Livin' On A Prayer? Because it's a collection of cliches? I mean, come on, it's far from being any sort of good song, but that funky "oo-wah oo-wah" bit at the very beginning is quite nice stuff.

No. There are two real contenders for Least Favourite Song by the poodle-haired idiots: Wanted Dead Or Alive - for being a real collection of tough-guy cliches mixed with appalling "rock 'n' roll" posturing. Lest we forget, this is the song that contains "I'm a cowboy - on a steel horse I ride": "I walk these streets - a loaded six-string on my back" and "I've seen a thousand faces - and I've rocked 'em all". Richer veins of ripe lyrical shite are damn hard to find.

But wait - we have a winner!

Bed Of Roses.

Because it tries not only to say "hey - I'm hard as nails, me" but also "but hey - I'm a sensitive lurve machine to the laydeez, too". Pretty much any rawk band trying to do a sensitive ballad will end up producing a steaming pile of cak (see also November Rain by Guns 'N' Roses, Wind Of Change by The Scorpions...), but this one is truly something...special.

Exhibit A, m'lud:

With an iron-clad fist
I wake up and French-kiss the morning

Tough AND sexy! What a guy! (It's just occurred to me that this could also be read as "I get up and have a sad wank", but somehow I doubt that was the intention.)

And Exhibit B:

I want to be just as close as
The Holy Ghost is

He's also DEEPLY SPIRITUAL! Form a queue now, girls.

Just feck off, Jon Bum Bogie (joke courtesy of a journalist's kid doing guest singles reviews in NME circa 1993). My old Nan's Pekingese rocks harder than you, and he's been dead for several decades.