September 2014 New Apple iToys

[SetToStun]

I'm gagging for it! I'll try any early adopter crap going, bring it on, take a wallet and a phone into the shower? not me!

Arf!

It's also a matter of "why the fuck is this form of payment needed?"  When did chip and pin become so laborious that it needs to be done instead by merely tapping my thing on the shop's thing?

I always used to be a fairly early adopter but these days my enthusiasm has waned - like you, I struggle to see a real need being filled here. Besides, what happens when you upgrade your 'phone? When you get a new debit card, you just cut the old one up and bin it - what do you do with your old 'phone when it's got your card details built in?

[amnesiac]

It's also a matter of "why the fuck is this form of payment needed?"  When did chip and pin become so laborious that it needs to be done instead by merely tapping my thing on the shop's thing?

you never used Contactless payments? it's well good! I like imagining the protocol

Card: HELLO FRIEND
Reader: HELLO FRIEND
IS FRIEND FREIND?
FRIEND IS FREIND
FRIEND READY FOR GIVE ME MONEY
FRIEND READY
NOW I TAKE!
BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEP

[Replies From View]

you never used Contactless payments? it's well good! I like imagining the protocol

Card: HELLO FRIEND
Reader: HELLO FRIEND
IS FRIEND FREIND?
FRIEND IS FREIND
FRIEND READY FOR GIVE ME MONEY
FRIEND READY
NOW I TAKE!
BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEP

Poetry.

[Artemis]

The closest I've come to NFC is some contactless payment system they have in Australia. It was completely disconcerting. You basically tapped your card onto the machine and it debited the cash. No PIN numbers, no verification, just a complete assumption that the person holding the card must be the card holder. I left the shop thinking if anybody grabs my wallet, there's not a thing I can do about them spending lots of my money until I call the bank.

[BPFHAY]

We had debit cards linked to Oyster cards at least as long ago as 2007 (probably much earlier).

NFC payments are for limited value items, and you generally sit limits on how much can come out of your account in a day.

If somebody were to steal my credit card they could spend it to its full limit (most transactions don't require PIN entry here).

Nobody really seems to see NFC as anything other than a novelty right now, though. There needs to be a huge public awareness campaign to make it an everyday thing.

[BPFHAY]

I left the shop thinking if anybody grabs my wallet, there's not a thing I can do about them spending lots of my money until I call the bank.

Probably no more than $30. The card will reach its NFC limit.

[BPFHAY]

Sorry, I'm talking bollocks from 2012. It's all different now, I guess. Limits are now usually high/non-existent.

So yeah, if you don't know your phone has been stolen you may as well have lost 1000 quid plus a phone. Maybe the public isn't going to be into that, given that this is a technology that doesn't actually let you do something you couldn't before (pay for goods and services).

[Replies From View]

There needs to be a huge public awareness campaign to make it an everyday thing.

Some kind of lack-of-awareness campaign, more like.  Something like bashing the public on the head with pans until it can't think anymore.

[BPFHAY]

But it stops you from having to put your card in that cruel plastic hole.

[Subtle Mocking]

Stream is hyar, by the way: http://www.apple.com/live/2014-sept-event/

[BPFHAY]

"Live streaming video requires Safari xxx on iOS and Safari yyy on Mac"

Please tell me that Apple – for all their crowing about standards – aren't requiring you to use Safari to view streaming video.

I couldn't even select that text in Firefox to copy and paste it.

[amnesiac]

if that's true they're such pricks (hold the front page)

[amnesiac]

I prefer liveblogs

Engadget
http://www.engadget.com/2014/09/09/apple-iphone-event-2014/

Arstechnica
http://live.arstechnica.com/apples-september-9-2014-event/

(from 6pm)

[BPFHAY]

I always expect livebloggers to break into a live transcript of their nervous breakdown after accidentally letting themselves think about what it is they actually do.

[amnesiac]

I always expect livebloggers to break into a live transcript of their nervous breakdown after accidentally letting themselves think about what it is they actually do.

they'd have the perfect platform today.

[BPFHAY]

"Sorry, your browser doesn't support our live video stream.

But you can follow the live blog below."

Right, it's my browser's fault.

[Subtle Mocking]

"Sorry, your browser doesn't support our live video stream.

But you can follow the live blog below."

Right, it's my browser's fault.

The event hasn't even started and Apple is making perfectly good products obsolete

#satire

[Artemis]

Is everyone hooked up and tuning in? While I'm no Apple "fanboy" (or whatever the playground calls it these days), it's hard not to feel totally psyched about the launch of a gadget I'll use very often, every day. I'm hoping for something revolutionary.

[Subtle Mocking]

Well this is exciting

[Subtle Mocking]

Now there's a woman doing a live Chinese translation over the stream. Fucking hell, Apple.

[Artemis]

Stream has totally crashed for me.

This is like when Jobs tried an on-stage demo but couldn't connect to the network.

EDIT: We're back with a Chinese translation!

[Replies From View]

Now there's a woman doing a live Chinese translation over the stream. Fucking hell, Apple.

Do an impression of her!!

[Subtle Mocking]

There it is, then.

Saved You A Click ‏@SavedYouAClick  35s
iPhone 6: 4.7-inch screen. iPhone 6 Plus: 5.5-inch screen.

And yes, the livestream has been a disaster. Someone's getting sacked tomorrow.

[Subtle Mocking]

Edit: aaaaand we're back to the test card!

[Artemis]

This stream is a fucking joke. Way to go, Apple. You had a year to figure this out.

[Subtle Mocking]

This looks awful:

[Squink]

New iPhone apparently much easier to use one-handed. I think we all know what that means, right lads?

[Subtle Mocking]

So, price predictions? I'll go for about £4,500.

[Replies From View]

New iPhone apparently much easier to use one-handed.

Sounds to me like they're inventing a problem now that never existed before.

[Onken]

Just tuned in. Missed all the iFun. :(