My Almost Certainly Incorrect Views On Every Disney Animated Film

[Mister Six]

I'm not a fan of his music but I did find myself liking him more than I ever have before

I interviewed Sting once, and he was incredibly charismatic. I remember thinking, "This is gonna be gold!"

Then I got home and transcribed the interview, and realised he was incredibly boring.

[13 schoolyards]

I interviewed Sting once, and he was incredibly charismatic. I remember thinking, "This is gonna be gold!"

Then I got home and transcribed the interview, and realised he was incredibly boring.

That's been my experience with pretty much every name brand Hollywood actor I ever interviewed (mostly B-listers a decade or more ago). Personally charming but media trained to within an inch of their lives.

[Small Man Big Horse]

I interviewed Sting once, and he was incredibly charismatic. I remember thinking, "This is gonna be gold!"

Then I got home and transcribed the interview, and realised he was incredibly boring.

Ha, that's interesting. If I'd ever seen Sting interviewed before I'd forgotten completely all about it, but could well imagine he comes across so well because it was filmed by with his wife who would then choose the most interesting moments.

[idunnosomename]

I hope you asked him about what he does when he gets an itchy bum in the middle of the night

[SteveDave]

Ha, that's interesting. If I'd ever seen Sting interviewed before I'd forgotten completely all about it, but could well imagine he comes across so well because it was filmed by with his wife who would then choose the most interesting moments.

I was going to say...

[touchingcloth]

Every Disney animated film? Well where is The Lion King (2019)?

[Small Man Big Horse]

Every Disney animated film? Well where is The Lion King (2019)?

I didn't really know anything about the film apart from the animals were cgi, so I didn't realise the background scenery wasn't live action footage and was cgi too. But you're absolutely right and it should be included, yet Disney don't count it, and I will soon watch it and add it to this list.

[touchingcloth]

I didn't really know anything about the film apart from the animals were cgi, so I didn't realise the background scenery wasn't live action footage and was cgi too. But you're absolutely right and it should be included, yet Disney don't count it, and I will soon watch it and add it to this list.

It often gets called live action, which annoys me. I haven't seen it, though, so will await your review.

[Glebe]

Having access to Disney+, I've been meaning to do a bit of a classic Disney watch for some time. I've actually not seen to many of 'em.

[notjosh]

Bambi (1942) – The antics of a newly born son whose mother is then murdered, in what must be one of the most famous Disney moments, and one that's definitely very hard to masturbate to. Plot wise this is very slight, it's mostly Bambi slowly growing up and hanging out with a number of other animals, including Thumper the rabbit who is a right old dick sometimes, before trauma occurs, though said death is off screen so my theory is that Bambi's mum just couldn't be arsed to hang around with her offspring any more and is just, I don't know, interning at google or something. I also wish it was a bit more of a complex tale, the second half is a bit boring at times, and it's the weakest of the supposed classic era for me. 5.4/10

You have GOT BAMBI WRONG, SMBH. You have fallen prey to the mania for complex plot and carefully signposted character development that afflicts modern animated cinema. You need to let go of it all and let the mood and atmosphere sweep over you... surrender yourself to the forest... consider nature in all its majesty... become one with the seasons.... look at this...

LOOK AT IT.

[notjosh]

I would also like to defend Wreck-It Ralph and say I was looking forward to number two. The sequel's big problem is the problem inherent in any piece of media that 'does' the internet, in that the internet is so fucking stupid that the more accurately you capture it, the worse it makes your writing look. And also they have to skim off the edges because its for kids. Which is incongruous, because when they get to the point of addressing mean internet comments, all it does is make you think about how those comments should be full of much more abhorrent and hateful language. Which a kid's film shouldn't make you think about.

[Small Man Big Horse]

You have GOT BAMBI WRONG, SMBH. You have fallen prey to the mania for complex plot and carefully signposted character development that afflicts modern animated cinema. You need to let go of it all and let the mood and atmosphere sweep over you... surrender yourself to the forest... consider nature in all its majesty... become one with the seasons.... look at this...

LOOK AT IT.

I'd admit that it has its moments, but the majority of it is quite irritating, with Thumper far less entertaining than the animators thought he was. Plus at the end Bambi just fucks off to leave his child being raised by his partner, and do you think that's an ok message Josh? That men should just fuck and leave and not even pay a single penny of child support? Hmmmm, given just how many times you've done that I'm pretty sure I'm trying to convince the wrong person, but I'm all but certain everyone else will agree with me!

[The Mollusk]

I would like you to do the live action ones next please, for the sole purpose of confirming whether or not I am the only grown adult who still cries their fuckin eyes out at the end of Homeward Bound.

[BritishHobo]

Incredible.

[buzby]

Incredible.

The keyboard and mouse click sound effects are clearly wrong for a Mac PowerBook G3 'Kanga', though.

[Kankurette]

The keyboard and mouse click sound effects are clearly wrong for a Mac PowerBook G3 'Kanga', though.

Oh Buzby <3

[notjosh]

Plus at the end Bambi just fucks off to leave his child being raised by his partner, and do you think that's an ok message Josh? That men should just fuck and leave and not even pay a single penny of child support? Hmmmm, given just how many times you've done that I'm pretty sure I'm trying to convince the wrong person, but I'm all but certain everyone else will agree with me!

It is simply nature, red in tooth and claw. Time was that most Disney films were about horrible things happening to animals (even the live action ones). Perhaps we have become too civilised.

[idunnosomename]

Whats Bambis arc

[kalowski]

Whats Bambis arse

Christ you're disgusting!

[BJBMK2]

Stunning sequence here from a stunning film, I'm not sure anything else, live action or animated, has come close to actually VISUALLISING music in this sense, that kind of abstract thing where your not trying to conjure up imagery in your brain, it just appears.

[dissolute ocelot]

How can you take seriously a film where the lead character is called Bambi?

[idunnosomename]

Christ you're disgusting!

a disney nasty :(

[Small Man Big Horse]

I would like you to do the live action ones next please, for the sole purpose of confirming whether or not I am the only grown adult who still cries their fuckin eyes out at the end of Homeward Bound.

There's a few too many live action Disney films to make it in to a project, but I'm up for Homeward Bound as I have a weird liking for films where you get to hear animals talk or think.

[Small Man Big Horse]

I would like you to do the live action ones next please, for the sole purpose of confirming whether or not I am the only grown adult who still cries their fuckin eyes out at the end of Homeward Bound.

Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey (1993) - Well this is all very sweet, and perfect Sunday afternoon viewing if you're in the mood for something extremely non-taxing. I have a fondness for "talking animal" films, often as they're so absurd, and this mixes some amusingly odd moments (the mountain lion, Sassy being thrown over a waterfall) with some warm and affecting scenes, and the human cast do their parts pretty well too. Sure, you could spend hours ripping it apart (Why is it only cats and dogs who have a shared psychic language? And if animals don't understand what humans actually say why is Lucky making jokes about McNuggets and "Arnold Schwarzekitty"?) but on this particular day I couldn't be arsed and was very happy to watch this sappy, sentimental affair. 7.8/10

Can't say I shed actual tears (which many a film had made me do in the past) but I did find them beginning to get quite moist, so I was halfway there.

[The Mollusk]

Thanks for watching it! I rinsed the hell out of it when I was an overly emotional child so I have a huge sentimental attachment to it, hence why now as an overly emotional adult it still makes me sob. I get pretty overwhelmed just thinking about Shadow saying "you're my boy Peter and I love you" at the start haha 😭

[Small Man Big Horse]

Thanks for watching it! I rinsed the hell out of it when I was an overly emotional child so I have a huge sentimental attachment to it, hence why now as an overly emotional adult it still makes me sob. I get pretty overwhelmed just thinking about Shadow saying "you're my boy Peter and I love you" at the start haha 😭

I absolutely get why, and though it's predictable as hell I thought the ending was genuinely lovely. It's easy to mock this sort of thing but I feel like those involved really wanted to make a kind, warm film, and not a cynical cash grab for once.

I found this to be a fascinating read as well: https://humanehollywood.org/production/homeward-bound-the-incredible-journey/ - As there were a couple of scenes which looked a bit cruel, but this suggests none of them were...

[The Mollusk]

I absolutely get why, and though it's predictable as hell I thought the ending was genuinely lovely. It's easy to mock this sort of thing but I feel like those involved really wanted to make a kind, warm film, and not a cynical cash grab for once.

I found this to be a fascinating read as well: https://humanehollywood.org/production/homeward-bound-the-incredible-journey/ - As there were a couple of scenes which looked a bit cruel, but this suggests none of them were...

Ah wow, I had known that it was all humanely filmed but that detailed account was so insightful, nice one for sharing it! It has made me love the film even more. Might have to crack it out again soon.

[dissolute ocelot]

Finally got around to watching The Lion King. It looks fab and the action scenes are good. But even for a film aimed at small kids, the plot seems deliberately stripped back to the absolute minimum and there's a lot of expository dialogue with Scar saying over and over how bad he is and what he's going to do (although I liked things like Simba turning into an adult in the middle of a song and the monkey drawing Simba in various ways, which showed they can do proper visual storytelling). Hamlet also has a lot of dialogue but it's utterly insanely plotted. Simba could at least have sent Timon and Pumbah on a suicide mission to England for no particular reason.

I also watched The Sweatbox, which is great. I love how the first time Sting appears he's sitting with a guitar round his neck playing chess. Then later you see him in business meetings with his feet up on the table while everyone else is sitting nicely, and the way he goes off to the Himalayas for what's apparently important business and we get a lot of shots of middle-aged men in some kind of hot baths. Also, as people have mentioned, amazing how pretty much everyone at Disney is a nice, softly-spoken white guy with floppy hair (there is a French guy and someone with a beard), happily making a film about South America. But at least they got in a couple of ethnic-looking blokes with pan pipes. Also interesting comparing the minimal plot of The Lion King with the hugely complex ideas for Kingdom of the Sun and Emperor's New Groove. No wonder they were scared.

[idunnosomename]

Funnily enough though the direct-to-video 2004 The Lion King 1½ is inspired by Rosencratz and Gildenstern Are Dead. Probably seems cleverer than it is tbh

[dissolute ocelot]

Watched Wish, which is quite good, amusing Chris Pine performance, mediocre songs, plotting is initially uncertain and tell-not-show but picks up steam. For a film that reportedly cost $200m, it's far from the prettiest Disney film, falling awkwardly between the simple cartoonish look of Moana and something more detailed and realistic. But it has its moments - the non-human characters are cute and fun.

Also re-watched Beauty and the Beast. It's much better.