Great heckles of the 20th Century (and 21st Century, but that's not quite so snappy a title. Snappier than it would have been without this, though.)

[Lumiere]

Oh yes.

Maid Marion. Heh.

[Ambient Sheep]

Comedian (in slightly smug tone of voice): So what does hydrogen weigh?

Girl: (Dramatic pause) One.

:-) :-)  And of course the lovely thing is that it's true!  Well, almost.

[Dark Sky]

Bizzarely, I was at the same lecture, sat next to Crazy One Eyed Guy, and I was thoroughly relieved when he got kicked out, couldn't hear a thing Robinson was saying.

Wow!  It's a small world, after all!  

(I didn't sing that, honest)

Lecture was a bit of a let down though, I was led to believe he'd be talking about Blackadder (although I was pleased when he talked briefly about Maid Marion).

Really?  Well, seeing as it was for the Labour Society (or whatever it was), my expectations weren't terribly high for it anyway.  I loved it when he started talking about his new Worst Jobs In History series and he got really animated and excited.

And afterwards I went up to get his autograph and stammered some thank you to him for Maid Marian, and he got all excited and said about how it is the one thing he is most proud of because it was his thing, not Richard Curtis' or whatever.  What a lovely guy.

[Aidian]

It was the leaflets that threw me. Publicity shot of Baldrick with 'Come see Tony Robinson - He'll be talking about Blackadder and CUNNING PLANS and TURNIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ' with absolutely no mention of the Labour society.

[Tom Hedonist]

Robinson *is* a tosser! But I'm not going to reveal why I think so. Sorry for the faux mystery, but well it's just one of those (dull) things I don't want to reveal about myself.

A few years ago the Duchess & I went to see Michael Moore. He admitted at the start of the show, that this was a preliminary tour, and he hadn't got everything quite right yet. He finished the show with a bit about how he could unite the Catholics and Protestants of Northern Ireland. It was a fairly nice sketch, involving two guys sharing a bath on stage. Quite good fun, but it didn't really go anywhere. Moore finished with something along the lines of "So there you are, the solution is for all the protestants to convert to catholicism."

This idea really angered me. That he should take such a stupid approach to this subject. In anger I called out "What's in it for the protestants?" MM chuckled and said "Yeah! Exactly! What's in it for the protestants!" As if he'd hit upon some vein of wisdom (his, not mine). Not a great heckle, but it's my only one.

Moor's attitude to N.I. seemed similar to that in the scene from Bowling For Columbine, where Governor George W. Bush (or was it Reagan?) visits the unemployed people of Flint and promises them a new start... if they move to Texas. He had no real knowledge of the subject, but felt compelled to speak about it anyway.

[Emergency Lalla Ward Ten]

Yeah, I heard Baddiel quote the 'Everyone hates you, you must know from school' one. It's funnier in his voice.

He also quotes this comeback from Nick Hancock after being heckled by a cockney: 'Ohhhhhh...go and sell some fruit!'

[Emergency Lalla Ward Ten]

Also I once saw Baddiel and Newman heckled in 1992 with 'Where are the two funny ones?'. Which was quite refreshing. It got a big laugh too, from N&B as well as the audience.

[BetaKarraTene]

Er, I haven't really got any heckle stories since I'm going to my first live show in a couple of months, but since it's Bill Bailey, I'll see if the "PARANOIA!" thing comes up again.

[Neil]

Also I once saw Baddiel and Newman heckled in 1992 with 'Where are the two funny ones?'. Which was quite refreshing. It got a big laugh too, from N&B as well as the audience.

Has anyone seen Punt and Dennis live?  I saw them when they were touring their "Milky Milky" show (or whatever it was called) and me and the person I took had an fantastic night.  I wish I could remember more about it now, I think they did some material from TMWE, and Dennis mugged and pissed about a lot while Punt did his bits.  I got into a real panic about three weeks ago when I couldn't find the Milky Milky t-shirt I'd bought at that gig, thinking it had been binned on my behalf for being so faded and small now.  Found it in the end.  

The problem with living in Norn Iron is that no fucker ever used to come over here because of The Troubles.  That's why I still have some affection for Cannon & Ball, because they did come over here at the height of their fame and put on a great show.  There is/was a comedy night in a bar in town which used to be hosted by Patrick Keilty but I could never bring myself to go to that as I couldn't face the utter predictability of all the jokes about the 12th/catholics/protestants/bombs etc.  Nor did I particularly want to see the Hole In The Wall Gang.  Jesus Christ, got to get over and pick up those James Young albums this weekend.

[Ciarán2]

I've a music one, hope it'll do.

About 5 years ago I went to see a German minimalisty-glitch techno-y type group called "To Rococo Rot"... well, they use laptops, so you get the picture - at a small venue in Dublin called Whelans. Anyway, between songs one of the band finally piped up to speak and said something like this (in a heavily accented German accent, and with a very straight face)...

"This next one is a kind of soundtrack to a building which has just been built in Hannover. It's a bauhaus style building, and we really like it's use of space, symmetry. It's quite beautiful and stately. And the architects approached us to compose a something which would be musically appropriate for it, so here it is. This song is kinda influenced by Ludwig Mies Van Der Rohe and Walter Gropius, we hope you enjoy it..."

To which a wag in the audience shouted out a brilliantly timed....

"WOOOOOAAAAGGGHHHH!! ROCK AND ROLL!!!!!"

[Dark Sky]

It was the leaflets that threw me. Publicity shot of Baldrick with 'Come see Tony Robinson - He'll be talking about Blackadder and CUNNING PLANS and TURNIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ' with absolutely no mention of the Labour society.

To be annoyingly pedantic, that is not quite true...  Admittedly there was mention of turnips and a photo of Baldrick and lettering inviting you to meet Baldrick and come to his garden turnip party.  But in very tiny letters at the bottom it did say "He may talk about his politic views sshhh don't tell anyone", or words to that effect...

The best bit was when he told everyone in the room that they should sign up to be a member of the Labour Society, and that someone by the door would be taking everyone's names.  And as I came in late (at the same time the security men went in to remove the heckler), I was standing by the door, and loads of the audience turned around to look at me oddly.

[DaveBCooper]

Not really a heckle, but :

I was there when Kevin Day was MCing at the Comedy Store about five years ago; lively crowd, night was going pretty well, and after the interval, Kevin came back on stage and read out various stag night and birthday dedications he'd been given...

Day: ... and I've got a note here about a birthday party in, It's for... Naridia ? Is it Naridia ?
Naridia (in audience): Yes.
Day : Well, happy birthday to you. Naridia – that's an unusual name, what's the origin of that ?
Voice from back of crowd: Dyslexia.

[Frinky]

I think my favourite heckle of all time is someone who shouted at David Hasslehoff during Chicago;

"You are nothing without your robot car! Nothing!"

[jirob]

I sat through a Nicholas Parsons show at Edinburgh a couple of years ago, and (having made a poorly received joke about humourless Germans) he went off on one about how great the Duke of Edinburgh was.  At some point the uncomfortable noises from the audience were interrupted by the bloke behind me shouting, "Parsons; you're embarrassing yourself."  I liked that one.  It's like a mother telling her child to stop showing off in front of his friends.

[Fuckwittio]

I love on Rodney Dangerfield's No Respect when he's fielding questions from the audience & a guy shouts: "Did your mother have any kids that lived?" Genius heckle. All Rodney can say is "Yeah, you're pretty hot shit, too."

Rodney gets his own back later on when someone shouts: "What do you do for a living?" "I get guys for your sister!"

[Ambient Sheep]

BUMP.

Someone's been reading this thread...or Verbwhores have been writing to the Guardian... http://arts.guardian.co.uk/edinburgh2006/story/0,,1851921,00.html

Worth reading to the end though - the final one is utter utter class.

[fudgemonkey]

YOU'RE NOT FUNNY

What do you want us to do next?

FUCK OFF

Can you give us something topical?

OKAY(brilliant pause) FUCK OFF NOW!

[DJ One Record]

BUMP.

Someone's been reading this thread...or Verbwhores have been writing to the Guardian... http://arts.guardian.co.uk/edinburgh2006/story/0,,1851921,00.html

Worth reading to the end though - the final one is utter utter class.

You're not wrong! That shits all over Chris Martin imitating the Crazy Frog.

[The Mumbler]

The Baddiel quoter fucked up the rhythm, though.  "No-one likes you.  You must know from school" is the actual heckle.

[Artemis]

The George Carlin Heckler Incident (audio)

For anybody that's not heard it. Funniest heckle on this thread for me is "where's this all going?" - that got a nice big belly laugh from me!

[Steve Thompson Dance Mix]

The Bono heckle in that article was funny. Far more so, because of the brusque Glasweigian accent.

[K]

About –erk- ten years ago, I was in the comedy tent at the Phoenix Festival, watching a comedian do quite badly. Towards the end of his set, he started doing impressions, which didn't do anything to mollify the tired and emotional crowd. Finally, he said:

COMEDIAN: Let's do another impression. Who's this? Who's this?

HECKLER: A comedian dying on stage!

At which point he gave up and slinked off, defeated.

[Marvin]

That's from the Mupppets surely? When Fozzie is doing impressions - 'What's this?'

'A bear dying on stage!'

[K]

That's from the Mupppets surely? When Fozzie is doing impressions - 'What's this?'

'A bear dying on stage!'

Really? I was never a massive fan of the Muppets. Presumably, the heckler was. Either that, or it's a pretty obvious response. Oh well, I thought it was funny.

[rudi]

BUMP.

Someone's been reading this thread...or Verbwhores have been writing to the Guardian... http://arts.guardian.co.uk/edinburgh2006/story/0,,1851921,00.html

A stage performance of The Diary of Anne Frank was so bad that the arrival of the Germans was greeted with a shout of: "She's in the attic!

Smashing...

[Xander]

A stage performance of The Diary of Anne Frank was so bad that the arrival of the Germans was greeted with a shout of: "She's in the attic!

But that one's not actually true, is it? It's just an urban legend -

http://www.snopes.com/movies/actors/zadora.asp

[A Passing Turk Slipper]

I fucking love the Bono one, the man who shouted that should get some kind of award, as someone else commented I'm sure the Glaswegian accent added a lot to it. Isn't the whole "I'm Kirk Douglas' son!" one an urban legend too?

[rudi]

Balls.  :)

[Go With The Flow]

I don't get why the Kirk Douglas's son one is so funny though. Is Kirk famous for shagging loads, or is it just because the whole crowd started getting involved?

[rudi]

I don't get why the Kirk Douglas's son one is so funny though. Is Kirk famous for shagging loads, or is it just because the whole crowd started getting involved?

Spartacus, love; Spartacus.