I don't get it...

[who cares]

I think you're stereotyping here to assume that the quartet of string would be too strait-laced to urinate on one of your body parts for two grand.

I've heard the Balanescu Quartet will piss on your face for a fiver

[Blue Jam]

The "dog eats toddler's shit" story. I just don't want to know, frankly.

Also the brother and sister who had sex in a train station lift. I always found that one far too bleak to be funny.

[who cares]

On a similar tip, people in this thread are kidding themselves if they think they can get married for under £1000. For that price you'd get a registry office ceremony (midweek), a basic menu buffet service for about 50-60 guests but with no venue to put it in, and maybe at a push one of the rings. No bar, no disco, no decor, no venue, no outfits, fuck all. Weddings are expensive full stop.

My fiancée and I and doing as much as we can as DIY - supplying our own table wine, designing and making all our own decorations for the venue and table, getting skilled friends to contribute services including playing DJ sets and making the wedding dress, and ours is still looking close to £8000.

Fair enough if that ain't for you, don't get married or just have a registry office do and invite mates down the pub, but if you want anything resembling a basic traditional wedding day you either need to get saving (what we're doing) or take a loan out (what idiots do).

I apologise if it comes across I am having a go at your wedding, Mollusk. Perhaps the sums I was thinking of are higher than 10K- more like 50 or 100K? I mean, there are people who want to spend a bit and have a big party, I get that totally. What I can't understand is the people who feel compelled to save every penny they earn for ten years so they can hire a Spanish castle and have performing elephants on the lawn.

[Wayman C. McCreery]

Cold war steve

I don't necessarily like his stuff, but I can't begrudge him his success. Working-class failed art school grad does some daft pictures on his phone on the bus to his dead-end factory job and becomes massive. That's alright by me.

My I don't get it thing: lip-syncing. A million views for this shit: https://youtu.be/PrAXUJF_vgs

[The Mollusk]

I apologise if it comes across I am having a go at your wedding, Mollusk. Perhaps the sums I was thinking of are higher than 10K- more like 50 or 100K? I mean, there are people who want to spend a bit and have a big party, I get that totally. What I can't understand is the people who feel compelled to save every penny they earn for ten years so they can hire a Spanish castle and have performing elephants on the lawn.

Yeah that sucks. Elephants are food, not entertainment!

Also no offence taken at all. Just wanted to get a bit more fact coverage in! The average cost of a wedding is apparently around £16k. If you want a three course meal for 100 guests at £10 a head that's £10k straight off the bat, for a meal no one is ever going to talk about again in their lives. That's fucking stupid in my opinion. We've got some kick ass buffet catering options which are costing us roughly 2/10 of that cost and no one will give a shit either way. Weddings are fuckin stupid money if you go the route of not wanting to do any of the work yourself!

[buzby]

I see it most in relation to members of K-Pop bands.

Which makes sense, as that whole scene appears to be less fanbases and more cults. Or something that sounds a lot like cults...

Uber-fans of pop groups/singers/celebs referring to themselves as 'Stans' has been around online on various pop and gossip forums since the early 2000s at least. It's almost as old as the Eminem track the name comes from (and from which Eminem's online fanbase started calling themsleves Stans). It's use grew exponentially through the rise of social media.

[greencalx]

There is something interesting here about "kids these days" being linked to the digital past more readily than generations before (because it didn't exist) where now access to past trends is possible (before you had to buy or have your parents own something).  We've also rehashed IPs so much because of the capitalisation of music etc... new mainstream music is incredibly dull with no movements around it (Grime being the exception) and appears to be just full of middle class edgy ballads or the weird mess that is the dance music (which is kind of like happy hardcore but taking itself seriously)

I have made out-of-date cultural references in lectures (because that's what lecturers do) and have been surprised that the students got them (or maybe they were just humouring the old man). There was a group that was absolutely adamant that Wanabee came out when they were at primary school, and we discovered that it was, in fact, before they were born... Fair enough, there were 20+ year old songs doing the rounds when I was a kid, but my 90's teenage me generally considered anything from before about '89 as "music for old people". That could just be me though.

[Kankurette]

There is something interesting here about "kids these days" being linked to the digital past more readily than generations before (because it didn't exist) where now access to past trends is possible (before you had to buy or have your parents own something).  We've also rehashed IPs so much because of the capitalisation of music etc... new mainstream music is incredibly dull with no movements around it (Grime being the exception) and appears to be just full of middle class edgy ballads or the weird mess that is the dance music (which is kind of like happy hardcore but taking itself seriously) [nb]That person that is going to pop up and quite unoriginally tell me that music is is just the same, it's like when your parents didn't like your music, good music is out there if you look for it, all music is good it's just different tastes, please don't bother[/nb].

You've just described most of the Drowned in Sound Spotify playlist. So much wafty electronica sung by mumbly women.

I'm ashamed to admit that I barely listen to new music. Bob Vylan is a very, very notable exception.

[Icehaven]

Is it still often the case that weddings are paid for by the couple's parents (or mainly the bride's)? Which given they'd likely be middle aged and have more savings/disposable income makes it easier for the industry to inflate the prices. My ex's sister got married about 10 years ago and their parents paid for it. They had over 200 guests, reception in a castle, band, harp player, the absolute works, it must have cost a bloody fortune. Fair play to couples paying for it themselves, but I can't imagine many young couples can pay for doos like that without significant help from family or as mentioned above loans, which is madness. My former boss's marriage lasted less than a few years and they were still paying it off long after they got divorced.

[Largely Babble]

My friends got married for a grand total of £2000 by not inviting every cunt they've ever befriended on Instagram, not wearing a stupid dress, having a mate DJ and doing it in a pub garden. Best wedding I've ever been too. Anyone who whines about the cost of a wedding yet has more than 30 guests is an idiot. Don't invite people you don't care for.

[Largely Babble]

100 guests at £10 a head that's £10k straight off the bat,

Don't let this person do your invoices.

[Johnny Yesno]

He means 1000 guests, obviously. He's inviting every cunt he's ever befriended on Instagram.

[peanutbutter]

My brothers fairly normal wedding cost about 10k but it was with some pretty extreme budgeting and costkeeping. I suspect a lot of even relatively cheap weddings slip off the rails expense wise once you get into the month before and it gets too stressful to juggle all the shit along with the budget.

I know they got well over that in cash gifts though (the gifts from parents alone were nearly double) so it balances out. I'd say a lot of people who claim to have paid for their own wedding omit the absolutely gigantic gift their parents gave them, which puts a lot of pressure on people whose parents cant afford all the bullshit.

[madhair60]

getting married seems really stupid to me but then i would say that

[JesusAndYourBush]

I don't get it when someone invites you to their wedding and it's in another country like the South of France and you're expected to pay for it yourself.  What sort of cunt does that??  Some people don't have that amount of spare cash just lying around to spunk on a whim.  And what about people who'd have to book time off work?  They might have already planned on doing something with those days.

[Butchers Blind]

Weddings are are a pain in the arse if you get invited. If its on a Saturday thats 50% of your weekend fucked and if its on a Friday, well then you have to take the day off work which is one day out of your holiday allowance. I always RSVP busy that day.

[Bently Sheds]

I don't get Harry Potter. Really can't get the "we can only do magic in this magic private school coz the oiks won't stand for it in pleb world" conceit.

I get why people latch onto something (the bloke across the road from me has a Stark family wolf head crest sticker on the back of his car & someone down the road actually has the Game of Thrones logo on the doors of their motor) to feel like they belong, but the times I've been to Kings Cross and seen the dead eyed stare of the poor fucker holding people's scarves as they pretend to do whatever it is happened at King's Cross in the Potter film in stupid, dull real life just fills me with the bleakest of feelings for humanity.

P.S. please don't try to explain Potter to me. I'm happy just to stay ignorant.

[greencalx]

I don't get it when someone invites you to their wedding and it's in another country like the South of France and you're expected to pay for it yourself.  What sort of cunt does that??  Some people don't have that amount of spare cash just lying around to spunk on a whim.  And what about people who'd have to book time off work?  They might have already planned on doing something with those days.

Indeed. And the fuckers usually also have a stag/hen week in New Zealand or somewhere equally accessible the month before. My reaction is generally "I like you enough to want to come to your wedding, but not so much I'd spaff a week's annual leave on farting at each other in a hostel somewhere". Funnily enough, the wedding invites started to dry up after that.

We got married at the end of a run of friends' weddings, which meant we tried not to do the things that had really annoyed us. Our base was 10 minutes from a major railway station, and within easy reach of accommodation at a range of budgets. We also told people when they could expect to be fed, for those wishing to strategically line their stomachs beforehand. It seemed to be appreciated. We did get a bit of help from the in-laws: the immediate reaction when we announced our engagement was "Next year. Sounds expensive. Can I give you £1000 to elope?"

[Icehaven]

I don't get it when someone invites you to their wedding and it's in another country like the South of France and you're expected to pay for it yourself.  What sort of cunt does that??  Some people don't have that amount of spare cash just lying around to spunk on a whim.  And what about people who'd have to book time off work?  They might have already planned on doing something with those days.

Because they don't want a big wedding full of people they're not even fussed about, but they also don't want to offend a lot of those people by not inviting them, so they basically arrange to get married while on holiday knowing loads of RSVPs will be "flattered to be invited but regretfully won't be able to attend". Half the point of a destination wedding is that 2/3rds of those invited won't come, but ideally will still feel obliged to send a pressie or money.

[JesusAndYourBush]

^ Ha, yes, I did consider that might be the reason.

...but the times I've been to Kings Cross and seen the dead eyed stare of the poor fucker holding people's scarves as they pretend to do whatever it is happened at King's Cross in the Potter film in stupid, dull real life just fills me with the bleakest of feelings for humanity.

P.S. please don't try to explain Potter to me. I'm happy just to stay ignorant.

Wait... but they'd be running and smashing themselves against a wall!*  Do people really do that??


*You said don't explain it so I won't!

[purlieu]

I don't get it when someone invites you to their wedding and it's in another country like the South of France and you're expected to pay for it yourself.  What sort of cunt does that??  Some people don't have that amount of spare cash just lying around to spunk on a whim.  And what about people who'd have to book time off work?  They might have already planned on doing something with those days.

I think the point I realised how different my life is to that of my friends was when I got invited to a wedding in Spain. My immediate thought was "fuck off, how can I afford that?" and yet most people went without a problem. Being angry because people have more money than I am isn't a very good look, but it was really infuriating at the time.

That said, fucking hell, people are talking about having hundreds of people at their wedding? Even before I accidentally isolated myself from the world I doubt I would have invited more than 25 people on my side.

There is something interesting here about "kids these days" being linked to the digital past more readily than generations before (because it didn't exist) where now access to past trends is possible (before you had to buy or have your parents own something).  We've also rehashed IPs so much because of the capitalisation of music etc... new mainstream music is incredibly dull with no movements around it (Grime being the exception) and appears to be just full of middle class edgy ballads or the weird mess that is the dance music (which is kind of like happy hardcore but taking itself seriously)

I suppose I'm just surprised at how little new music there seems to be for angsty rock teenagers. My Instagram explore page is always full of these kids[nb]my guess is the algorithm can't tell the difference between the few alternate fashion accounts I follow and 16 year old goths[/nb] and the only time I see band t-shirts it's for a band who were around when I was a teenager. There are tons of new indie bands still around, is this not true for kids on the metalcore/emo/pop punk angsty end of rock music?

[holyzombiejesus]

That said, fucking hell, people are talking about having hundreds of people at their wedding? Even before I accidentally isolated myself from the world I doubt I would have invited more than 25 people on my side.

When I got married about 13 years ago, we had 80 guests and we really had to whittle them down and just have some at the evening bit, or ring others and apologise and blame the limited capacity on them not getting invited at all. If we had it today, I'd struggle to name 10 friends to invite.

[Icehaven]

Somewhere I worked temporarily years ago a woman who'd worked there for ages sent an email to everyone which was almost literally "Hi guys, just to let you know I'm getting married in India in a few months, you're welcome to come but you'll have to get flights and accommodation yourselves, let me know if you want to come, k thanx bye." It was an arranged marriage (which she apparently wasn't too excited about, hence why she hadn't told anyone about it before) and there was probably going to be loads of their families there already, but rather than just not invite colleagues she'd worked with for years she just did the most arm's length invite ever. I barely knew her but I don't think even any of her long term friends/colleagues went.

[Zetetic]

There are tons of new indie bands still around, is this not true for kids on the metalcore/emo/pop punk angsty end of rock music?

I think there are[nb]But maybe I don't know actually know what these genres are. Are Black Dresses in this area? Who the fuck are any of these people?[/nb], but possibly far fewer of them achieve the same popularity or brief dominance even within their genres, let alone breaking into "the mainstream".

I'm currently scraping UK singles chart data to test a theory, but there's some evidence from the US at least that there's been a steady decrease in turnover in the e.g. top 400 - i.e. fewer songs making it into the top 400 in any given period - since at least the '70s and maybe a further sharp drop in the '90s (although ways the charts were compiled also changed around then).

The more that barriers to distribution and promotion have reduced, the more we see large numbers of smaller creators gaining small followings, and the more the set of people and works achieving truly huge popularity reduces (even if "huge popularity" isn't getting any smaller). We see this in games as well, along with the same claims about genres "disappearing". That's What I Reckon anyway.

(Not to dismiss Trenter's point about capitalisation. I think it's a bit of both, and these processes aren't entirely independent.)

[dannyfc]

Because they don't want a big wedding full of people they're not even fussed about, but they also don't want to offend a lot of those people by not inviting them, so they basically arrange to get married while on holiday knowing loads of RSVPs will be "flattered to be invited but regretfully won't be able to attend". Half the point of a destination wedding is that 2/3rds of those invited won't come, but ideally will still feel obliged to send a pressie or money.

Imagine having enough friends and family to be offended by a lack of an invite.

I reckon if i were to ever get married, i could cobble together a list of maybe a dozen people and only half would turn up.

[Shit Good Nose]

Is it still often the case that weddings are paid for by the couple's parents (or mainly the bride's)?

Every wedding I've been to (including my own) for the last 20 years has had contributions made by both sets of parents, and the couple getting married, because of how expensive it is.  Even if you have a very very very basic wedding at the local registrars office with just witnesses and the wedding bands and absolutely nothing else, you're still going to be paying at least several hundred, if not over a £1000 (I know the registrar fee is £46 or £86 depending on whether you have it at the registrar office or A N Other venue, respectively, but most registrar offices will also charge you for using their office/rooms, and costs vary wildly depending on where the building is and what type - for example our local registrar office is in the Guildhall in Bath, and the absolute cheapest you can do it for there is about £400 for the registrar and the most basic room).  So you can probably have a "shotgun" wedding for change of £500 (which I would only call "cheap" in relative terms - it's still a big chunk of cash), but very very few people want one of those.  You're definitely looking at an absolute minimum of £1000 if you want something more traditional with a knees-up after, and even that will be basic reception at the local pub/hotel/chain restaurant.

Or you can do what a cunt mate-of-a-mate did - invite everyone to your wedding in Greece and get them all to pay for their own flights and accommodation, and then literally after the ceremony say "by the way, this wedding isn't legal in the UK, so we'll be having our legal ceremony back in the local registrars".  Cunt.

[greencalx]

When I got married about 13 years ago, we had 80 guests and we really had to whittle them down and just have some at the evening bit, or ring others and apologise and blame the limited capacity on them not getting invited at all. If we had it today, I'd struggle to name 10 friends to invite.

Same, although we didn't have to do that much whittling as neither of us is particularly sociable...

[Blue Jam]

Among my friends are two couples who got married for less than a grand. One couple had a quickie ceremony at a registry office then went to a tattooist who did them a couple of wedding rings, no reception, just a few drinks in the pub afterwards for the couple alone, and the bride made the dress herself. The other couple eloped to Gretna Green, not an age thing, just because it was romantic, and as they're both LARPers they just wore their best LARPing finery.

Another couple I know paid a bit more for a church wedding but they had the dress made by a friend and then saved a bit more money by not having a reception at all. After the ceremony they went to their hotel and had a nice meal, just the two of them.

I've heard married people give out the advice that a couple should make a bit of time for themselves on their wedding day, go to a private room in a castle and enjoy the view, head to a quiet corner of the garden etc because weddings are a bit overwhelming and everyone wants the couple's time and attention so they can say congrats etc. For that reason I don't know why more couples don't just ditch the reception altogether and go for a quiet meal for two. Or why so many couples invite a limited number of people to the ceremony, and up the numbers for the reception, especially when it's the reception that's the expensive part, and inviting some people to just the reception is bound to cause offence.

...so yes, weddings can be very cheap if you have no guests and no big expensive dress, but most people like having these things.

[Shit Good Nose]

We didn't really have a choice with our guests - we had to have quite a large allowance for the main ceremony mainly because Mrs Nose's family is quite large and very close knit, even out to second cousins and great aunts and that.  So the absolute minimum we could have at our actual wedding was 80, and most of that was family.  The rest were very very close friends who we wouldn't dream of not inviting.  For the reception we had an extra 40, where we had other friends who we would still call close, plus partners.  We actually wanted about 150, but we were strictly limited to 120 due to fire regulations at the venue.

[Blue Jam]

Oh yes, having a family you actually like certainly does bump the cost up a bit. My friends who went to Gretna Green actually get on well with their families, they just liked the idea of eloping and the romance of it. The other couple are a different story though, they eloped partly to avoid a lot of drama.