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We Built This City

Started by Tony Tony Tony, May 20, 2022, 05:16:54 AM

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Kelvin

Quote from: shoulders on May 20, 2022, 12:46:11 PMBig population though. Haven't been to Colchester but I surmise, a bit like Doncaster and Wakefield, Colchester must just have large suburbs and an almost comically underwhelming town centre.

Yes - although the town centre is actually really nice (or was, its been a couple of years since I was in the town centre), it's bouyed by the castle, the park, and the older buildings. It's just not very big.

imitationleather

I'm sure the good people of Stanley are looking forward to the big spike in tourism to the Falkland Islands as a result of this.

Ferris

Quote from: imitationleather on May 20, 2022, 12:48:54 PMColchester is pretty but as it is chock full of squaddies you are taking your life into your own hands if you go to certain places on a night out.

The only thing I remember about colchester was going into bars and thinking "fuck me we should move on, bit rough in here" then the next one being exactly the same until we ran out of bars and went home.

The Lurker

Wasn't until recently that I found out Colchester wasn't already a city. Bit harsh to be the first capital of Roman Britain and end up as a tinpot town with the rest of us plebs.

The Lurker

Quote from: imitationleather on May 20, 2022, 11:20:03 AMI was actually surprised that Douglas and Stanley weren't already cities.

Any other cities that are also names for old men?

There's a town in Scotland called Keith which deserves city status for the name alone. It may only have a population of just over 4,500 but that's still over double the population of Welsh city St David's.

kittens

Quote from: touchingcloth on May 20, 2022, 12:48:29 PMI was thinking "what is point city?" and then I started thinking "probably they get some extra funding and autonomy, and I should stop being cynical and thinking it's a pointless bit of semantic shite with no actual meaning in reality".

Then I went to Wiki

MARK MY PRESTIGE, CONFER ME PRIDE


Quote from: kittens on May 20, 2022, 08:01:26 AMthere's no actual definition of what a city is, and when something new gets called a city nothing actually happens to that place. some guys just randomly chose some places and i have to hear about it


I told you this already. you need to learn to trust me

shiftwork2

I work in Colchester one day per week and haven't been bothered to go into the town (city).  They appear to hammer the Roman stuff.  Individual hospital buildings are numbered 'villas' and there's a road I go on called Via Urbis Romanae which seems a stretch given it goes between new build housing estates and a David Lloyd.

I shall have to go in now.

touchingcloth

Quote from: kittens on May 20, 2022, 01:20:43 PMI told you this already. you need to learn to trust me


I'm afraid I don't respect you, let alone trust or listen to you.

Blumf

Quote from: touchingcloth on May 20, 2022, 12:48:29 PMI was thinking "what is point city?" and then I started thinking "probably they get some extra funding and autonomy, and I should stop being cynical and thinking it's a pointless bit of semantic shite with no actual meaning in reality".

Dudley has been wanting city status for a while, and one of the arguments for it is that US businesses think anything that isn't a city is just a small township, so they overlook towns when it comes to investment.

Not sure how solid an argument that is, as there are a few US owned business operating here.

If Dudley were to become a city you can bet that Holden's and Batham's would soon be in Elon Musk's grubby mitts. And all the hot pork sandwich shops.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Blumf on May 20, 2022, 01:54:33 PMDudley has been wanting city status for a while, and one of the arguments for it is that US businesses think anything that isn't a city is just a small township, so they overlook towns when it comes to investment.

Not sure how solid an argument that is, as there are a few US owned business operating here.

When you think about it, what would any US business want to have to do with Dudley?

Ferris

Quote from: touchingcloth on May 20, 2022, 02:55:34 PMWhen you think about it, what would any US business want to have to do with Dudley?

Artillery testing?

Kelvin

Quote from: imitationleather on May 20, 2022, 12:48:54 PMColchester is pretty but as it is chock full of squaddies you are taking your life into your own hands if you go to certain places on a night out.

Yep. I was once sat on a wall by the town train station minding my own business, waiting to get picked up, and I turned around just in time to see a squaddie's fist slamming into my nose. Middle of the day it was, and I can't have been more than nineteen. Cunt just laughed as blood streamed down my face.

Quote from: touchingcloth on May 20, 2022, 02:55:34 PMWhen you think about it, what would any US business want to have to do with Dudley?

I've got a soft spot for Dudley (not a swamp) and it was always my favourite of the four hellholes that make up the Black Country. I'm in Wolverhampton but can just about see Sedgley Beacon from my house. Let me know if you need a photo.

imitationleather


It'll just need a few minutes of coaxing. Warning: it's no Sedgley Beacon.

Quote from: Kelvin on May 20, 2022, 02:59:55 PMYep. I was once sat on a wall by the town train station minding my own business, waiting to get picked up, and I turned around just in time to see a squaddie's fist slamming into my nose. Middle of the day it was, and I can't have been more than nineteen. Cunt just laughed as blood streamed down my face.

How did you find out he was in the army? Was he in uniform or something?

"I was born in Colchester. But I was made in the Royal Navy, punching random teenagers on walls."

idunnosomename

Quote from: The Lurker on May 20, 2022, 01:09:33 PMWasn't until recently that I found out Colchester wasn't already a city. Bit harsh to be the first capital of Roman Britain and end up as a tinpot town with the rest of us plebs.
perhaps they shouldnt have demolished the top half of the castle. It was built under the direction Norman cleric Gundulf of Rochester as was White Tower at London. And look how well that's done for itself with a three-storey keep!

touchingcloth

Quote from: Voltan (Man of Steel) on May 20, 2022, 03:10:45 PMI've got a soft spot for Dudley (not a swamp) and it was always my favourite of the four hellholes that make up the Black Country. I'm in Wolverhampton but can just about see Sedgley Beacon from my house. Let me know if you need a photo.

Another vote for a picture of your flaccid penis, squire.

canadagoose

Quote from: Voltan (Man of Steel) on May 20, 2022, 03:10:45 PMI've got a soft spot for Dudley (not a swamp) and it was always my favourite of the four hellholes that make up the Black Country. I'm in Wolverhampton but can just about see Sedgley Beacon from my house. Let me know if you need a photo.
I require a photo immediately.

Dunfermline being made a city is an interesting one. There's historical precedent for it, and it's exploded in population since the 1980s. The sprawl goes quite far, swallowing up Rosyth and Inverkeithing on the coast. Dunfermline "city" centre doesn't feel very big, though.


thenoise

Quote from: Kelvin on May 20, 2022, 02:59:55 PMYep. I was once sat on a wall by the town train station minding my own business, waiting to get picked up, and I turned around just in time to see a squaddie's fist slamming into my nose. Middle of the day it was, and I can't have been more than nineteen. Cunt just laughed as blood streamed down my face.

It's a prank bro.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

I want to know about the squaddie. Did the police get him? That's probably a couple of months inside for ABH. Please tell us there's a happy ending and you didn't just sit there bleeding.

imitationleather

The behaviour of the squaddies is so consistently appalling that they have military police (who aren't allowed to arrest civilians) patrolling the streets at weekends to collar them if they get too legendary with their behaviour.

Kelvin

Quote from: curiousoranges on May 20, 2022, 03:34:39 PMHow did you find out he was in the army? Was he in uniform or something?

"I was born in Colchester. But I was made in the Royal Navy, punching random teenagers on walls."

This is a good question, and since it was almost 20 years ago, I don't remember the answer. May have been in uniform, may have been an assumption I made and now recite as fact in my weekly telling of the story.

Rolf Lundgren

Quote from: Inspector Norse on May 20, 2022, 07:02:52 AMEven the person writing the bit celebrating Milton Keynes' ascension to city status can't think of anything positive to say about it.

And the accompanying picture is a 20% full MK Dons stadium. At least show the nice looking pagoda!

Kelvin

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on May 20, 2022, 04:31:00 PMI want to know about the squaddie. Did the police get him? That's probably a couple of months inside for ABH. Please tell us there's a happy ending and you didn't just sit there bleeding.

No, I never reported them. However, I missed out the bit which annoyed me the most; it wasn't the fact some cunt punched me out of nowhere, it was afterwards, when I went to the ticket booth at the train station I was sat by and asked for a tissue with blood streaming down my face.

The woman said she couldn't spare any of her tissues, then waved me away.

City my arse. Queen should confer Colchester the status of International Mega Toilet.

Goldentony

great now LOADS OF WANKERS can go there and GET IN THE FUCKING WAY OF EVERYTHING

canadagoose

Quote from: Kelvin on May 20, 2022, 05:06:34 PMwhen I went to the ticket booth at the train station I was sat by and asked for a tissue with blood streaming down my face.

The woman said she couldn't spare any of her tissues, then waved me away.
She couldn't spare a square?

But seriously, it's sad how badly young adults get treated out and about. I'd forgotten how bad it could get.

shoulders

Quote from: Kelvin on May 20, 2022, 12:54:31 PMYes - although the town centre is actually really nice (or was, its been a couple of years since I was in the town centre), it's bouyed by the castle, the park, and the older buildings. It's just not very big.

Ah, so the opposite of Doncaster and Wakefield (in niceness)