Shittest pub experiences

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The Welsh Dragon looks like a further step towards pub appearance and atmosphere but a similar step backwards in terms of being as good.

Having spent the grand total of 10 minutes looking at Wellington's offerings I'd say you're not far off. Most of the 'pubs' are modern, open plan bars which look pleasant and bland.

[imitationleather]

All full of people from New Zealand, though.

[Birdie]

All full of people from New Zealand, though.

Worse.

Public servants and IT contractors.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

https://goo.gl/maps/bYRB3ohffC87iR7V8

Not very pubby but I like the look of this one (slight Laurieston vibe) and would probably go here if I was in town.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

https://goo.gl/maps/hrr3NqbE4zG12Z8f7

Birdie - I think I've found your Rovers Return pub in Wellington.

[Ferris]

Noah's Ark in Sheffield circa 2008. Horrible.

I'm sure it is nicer now.

[shiftwork2]

Shit experience? Could be the date who turned out to have four teeth

Which four?  Molars, incisors, pre-molars?  What's the scoop on this tooth-lite man?

I'm asking because it will be me in 5 years at this rate.

[shiftwork2]

You just need an opposing pair of incisors and an opposing pair of molars though don't you, really?  S'alright.  Not bothered now.

[Birdie]

Which four?  Molars, incisors, pre-molars?  What's the scoop on this tooth-lite man?

I'm asking because it will be me in 5 years at this rate.

I'd say two incisors and two canines.

Poor bastard.

[madhair60]

I'll be in there from 2.30 on Sunday watching the hurling, come on down for a pint.

Also, it's called The Rathmore Club, isn't it. What a fuck up I am.

[king_tubby]

Noah's Ark in Sheffield circa 2008. Horrible.

I'm sure it is nicer now.

If it was as shit in 2008 as it was in 1995, I wouldn't hold your hopes up. The Flowers IPA was fucking cheap, mind.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Urgh, it's a craft union pub now. Better than being closed I suppose, but only just.

Noah's Ark used to have a handy pool team. Probably because all the opponents thought they would get a cue in the eye if they beat them.

[Ferris]

If it was as shit in 2008 as it was in 1995, I wouldn't hold your hopes up. The Flowers IPA was fucking cheap, mind.

Cheap as fuck (why I was in there), but the clientele of half a dozen or so was exclusively made up of cheerful and open racists (or "race-realists").

This was because I was chatting to one of them and they asked where I was from and said "near Birmingham, the Black Country" and this was gleefully taken entirely the wrong way by the man I was speaking to. He said something abhorrent (I've forgotten what) I called him a racist dickhead and he said...

*grinning, gestures to other patrons* "Oh yes, we're all racists - I'm a race-realist actually, you see the thing is..."

We said "right then", necked our pints and left. Never been back. As pub experiences go, that's right down there with being caught in a fire or the pub running out of booze. I think it's under new ownership now so maybe it's improved. Would be difficult to get worse.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

It's an embarrassment to the area, as is/was the Punchbowl, a very apt name.

Crookes, like a lot of Sheffield is a pretty enlightened, friendly place, even down to the ex-steel workers.

[Ferris]

It's an embarrassment to the area, as is/was the Punchbowl, a very apt name.

Crookes, like a lot of Sheffield is a pretty enlightened, friendly place, even down to the ex-steel workers.

For whatever reason, the Ark and the Punchbowl were just absolute toilets.

The Builders Arms and Cobden View (plus the Hallamshire/Closed Shop double) are excellent boozers a stones throw away so you're not short in that bit of Sheffield. Closed Shop was my local as a student, used to know the barman by name and he'd let us pay for drinks in small change or have free goes on the jukebox. It is my platonic ideal of a pub and I miss it quite a bit.

[king_tubby]

Urgh, it's a craft union pub now. Better than being closed I suppose, but only just.

Noah's Ark used to have a handy pool team. Probably because all the opponents thought they would get a cue in the eye if they beat them.

Ha, mate of mine plays pool in that league. He's got a few stories.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

For whatever reason, the Ark and the Punchbowl were just absolute toilets.

The Builders Arms and Cobden View (plus the Hallamshire/Closed Shop double) are excellent boozers a stones throw away so you're not short in that bit of Sheffield. Closed Shop was my local as a student, used to know the barman by name and he'd let us pay for drinks in small change or have free goes on the jukebox. It is my platonic ideal of a pub and I miss it quite a bit.

Yes, I used to live 3 doors up from Cobden View, my local for 2 years, did plenty of open mics there, good old days when Bods and Laura were running it, you'd have Food From Around The World night - never much cop but free and a big slow cooker full of the crap.  Richie as well who ran the sports quiz at the Notty house.

It's gone downhill lately as Bods is in financial trouble and has got a new crowd of regulars who are twats (but presumably keep him in talking books and dildos)

As far as Crookes area goes my best to worst are:

Cobden
Princess
Closed Shop
Hallamshire

...then a bit of a gap to:
Grindstone
Ball
Springvale Tavern
Noah's Ark
Punchbowl

Probably one I've missed off - there's a micro pub I've not been to yet, I know that much

[Ferris]

I think we were basically neighbours. I make no apologies for any noise complaints you may have had to phone in.

I'd forgotten all about Food From Around the World. A friend of mine used to help them cook if memory serves?

[phes]

I went to the Cobden View a couple of months back and saw Legend Gary and Daz. Beer was also poor.

[holyzombiejesus]

It's trying hard but it's not the Rovers Return is it?

The Woolpack>Queen Vic (despite it being in a shithole, they look like they may get a few guest ales on)>The Rovers Return>death>the bar in Hollyoaks

[Sherringford Hovis]

The George, Farnham Road, Slough.

1991-2: a proper career villains' boozer presided over by a diamond-hard silk-blouse-and-beehive lady of a certain age you just don't see the likes of often enough anymore. Cut-n-shut Arfurs jovially palmed hooky tax discs, polo-neck beneath double-breasted Boss ticked ounces of slate and squidgy to pony-tailed Chevignon jackets to retail as 'teenths, bent coppers' and informants' bungs surreptitiously shuttled to and fro, Dels and Rodderseses cut deals with Mohammeds and Sandeeps over a round of Baileys and cherryade, off-duty Toms with hearts of gold rubbed shoulders (and more besides) with mid-tier muscle for hire.

1997: landlady having done a bunk to somewhere unextraditably sunny with – depending on the teller - either her husband's arresting officer or the bagman from his last blag (who may indeed have been the same individual) the distantly related stainy-vest lardarse who now had his name above the door hung St George flags from every available stanchion so understandably Mohammed and Sandeep swiftly took their business elsewhere, the hash aficionados decamped to the Printers Devil, while the ladies of negotiable companionship had migrated their professional pick-me-ups from charlie to horse and were only off-duty when slumped on the floor of the toilets. Try-too-hard Ali G-alikes swaggered, strutted and swore where previously professional hardmen politely exuded menace. Coppers still frequented the George, but in vans, asps extended.

1998 Demolished; now a Lidl car park.

[Ferris]

I went to the Cobden View a couple of months back and saw Legend Gary and Daz. Beer was also poor.

desolation

[kalowski]

The King, Oldham Street, Manchester. Deservedly gone now. Fucking terrifying. Went in one drunken Saturday afternoon with a mate - we were both Elvis fans so it seemed apt. Entered a nightmare world where you stared at the floor the whole time, to ensure you didn't catch the eye of someone about to kill you. Just after we got our shitty lagers a woman came in with a spider's web tattooed over her face. "I've told you you're fucking barred" yelled the barman. Stand up row started.
We shuffled to the next room where a bunch of Legends were playing pool and pushing/hitting each other after each shot. Then they all pile I'm on one guy and pull his pants down. An old woman sat near me turns and says, "I've been waiting all fucking day for that to happen."

We left.

We never returned.

Wonder where they all drink now?

[buttgammon]

A biker bar in Antwerp. I actually went there twice: on a Wednesday night, sat drinking there until 6am and ended up with the worst hangover of my life. Two days later, me and Mrs G went back for another drink and as soon as we'd sat down, we realised the place was full of Nazis with swastika tattoos, swastika jewellery, swastika clothes and with a dog which had a swastika collar. We downed our drinks in one and legged it.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Name of that one? I might be off to Antwerp shortly and don't want to mistake that as being OK looking from the outside and end up giving them money.

[biggytitbo]

Flat roof job in Withernsea, very watery cider and someone died in the bogs.

[buttgammon]

Name of that one? I might be off to Antwerp shortly and don't want to mistake that as being OK looking from the outside and end up giving them money.

Billies is the one. There's so many great pubs in Antwerp that aren't full of Nazi scum, fortunately.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Cheers.That's a very tame name for a swastika strewn biker pub.

Hello here is my white supremacist fuck warehouse, Tim's.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Probably the time I met a mate for a quiet Sunday pint and he was clucking for beak the whole time, texting his mates to see if they had any leftovers. When he d did get some he stood on the throne to get to the windowsill and tipped the thing over, so we had to sheepishly leave my local.

[bgmnts]

Oh there was a shitty shitty pub in a tiny village of Varda in hungary. The tables had gingham tablecloths on them and it had a veey dodgy atmosphere. Even the diminuitive woman behind bar looked like she would glass you cos you're not form round here.