Is the age of kicking people down stairs dead?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

We're told we live in a more violent, dangerous society but where's the proof? I haven't witness a brawl in a coffee shop for years. I haven't seen a greengrocer lose it at the zoo and try and lay out a penguin. I haven't seen a haulage driver click on to 'mental' and plough into a major palace while wanking and laughing, scores of royal guards crumpling under the cold rubbery behest of tyre and metal. I haven't seen an IT technician plant a faulty modem into the side of a greasy face. I haven't seen a man who works in a roadside café turn a ham sandwich into a deadly weapon. I haven't seen an unwanted bummery at a chip shop, and worryingly suspect I never will. I haven't seen one of those tiny gimp-blokes you see who collect japanese swords and play with them in their basement go apeshit and smash stuff in a nearby shopping precinct. I haven't seen a crazed Chechnyan try and suicide bomb someone without any explosives, simply hoping to burst and the rest to 'take care of itself'.

We're a bunch of peaceniks and pussies. Who could argue otherwise?

I say bring back unfettered violence. And not just one-way, from both sides. Let's have some crockery-based fuckout and see who's left standing.

[Utter Shit]

Snore

[Marty McFly]

Well..

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Families-Cry-As-Details-Of-Derrick-Bird-Killing-Spree-In-Cumbria-Are-Revealed-At-Inquest/Article/201103115943185

I'd say YOUR OWN TWIN BROTHER bursting into your bedroom and shooting you while you're in the nuddy (I assume) is pretty bloody violent.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Guns are unimaginative.

[Marty McFly]

Guns don't kill people, taxi drivers do

[SetToStun]

Guns don't kill people, taxi drivers rappers do

Fixed.

[biggytitbo]

Guns don't kill people, taxi drivers Leslie Granthams do

Fixed.

[Doomy Dwyer]

It's been years since I've seen a proper set to in a boozer. I blame the increasing popularity of those huge glasses of wine and the rise of the gastropub. It attracts the wrong crowd. The 'Middle Class' I like to call 'em. Tossers. The best pub punch up I ever saw occurred in Willesden Green outside a pub called Angies III, or Angies ill as the local wits would have it. The original Angies was on the Holloway Road but has recently shut down. I don't know where Angies II is or was. But I'll bet it was a hell pit wherever it's location. The Willesden Green branch was decorated with bits of old bike and faulty steam irons and amputee dolls in a kind of parody of the sort of faux antique shit you see in pubs with a bit of aspiration to them. I was walking past there one evening, going to buy a bag of chips as I recall. There was a light drizzle in the air, and standing in the road were two large Irish men in vests punching each other. I stopped to look for a bit, then went on my way for to buy my dinner. On my way back I noticed that they were still hitting each other so I stopped and ate my chips and joined the crowd. After a while the punching stopped and everyone went into Angies III. The salt on the chips had given me a powerful thirst, so I wandered in too. You were always guaranteed a decent pint of Guinness in one of Angies establishments. After a couple of pints everyone wandered back out and the fight resumed mano a mano, vest to vest. It was all very civilized. Like that John Wayne film but with more convincing accents. You just don't get the same ambience in these trendy new wine bars. It's all leather sofas, shit DJ's and people eating cibiattas and pretending life's like an episode of 'Friends'. It's a safer world all right. But is it a happier one?

[doppelkorn]

I don't think I've ever seen a proper punch-up ever, just scuffles. It's been ages since I've seen a fight on a night out as well. So yeah it has.

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

Danny Dyer would say "nah facking way, mate".



He smokes. He should know.

[Ginyard]

You just don't get the same ambience in these trendy new wine bars. It's all leather sofas, shit DJ's and people eating cibiattas and pretending life's like an episode of 'Friends'. It's a safer world all right. But is it a happier one?

And yet I can't help but feel that somewhere in the city this very moment there are two executives, their mansculpting compression vests perfectly tucked into their Aquascutum trousers, who are desperate to prove you wrong.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Whenever I'm in London I get a feeling of pre-violence tension bubbling under the surface. Last time I was there I saw two fights break out over nothing in the space of a week.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I've seen two fights outside a pub on my road in two nights. Just coincidence probably. My road is sleepy sleepy residential.

London feels a lot safer to me most of the time than Morpeth on a Friday night.

[shiftwork2]

Danny Dyer is hairier than I expected.  Thanks, Attitude.

[rudi]

Whenever I'm in London I get a feeling of pre-violence tension bubbling under the surface. Last time I was there I saw two fights break out over nothing in the space of a week.

And the common factor? You.

Think on, young man...

[El Unicornio, mang]

You think me telling a man that another man called him a "poofter pants" could be the cause?

[rudi]

Well it made me smile; that doesn't sound like a prelude to a fight. I'm not Jack Nicholson.

[CollaterlySisters]

I blame technology. It's not easy kicking someone down an escalator, there's just too much grip.

[Big Jack McBastard]

I do hope the age of people hurtling down stairs never ends, it's a particular favourite of mine.

[massive bereavement]

More stairs have carpets now. People don't wear doc martens anymore.

[Blumf]

People don't wear doc martens anymore.

My wife does, I had to retaliate and get some steel toe-capped shoes myself, now it's up to the stairs to decide.

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

The age of kicking people down stairs ends when people start paying their bills on time.