Fearne Cotton is a massive tit

[Custard]

[Jake Thingray]

Sometimes, she seems like a nice little girl.

[Emma Raducanu]

She's one of those people whose mere existence physically agitates me.

[biggytitbo]

Isn't she just a couple of genes short of Downs Syndrome?

[All Surrogate]

Most of us are many genes short of Down Syndrome.

[23 Daves]

I've actually been told by somebody who met her that Fearne Cotton is an incredibly nice person whose only crimes are being a bit facile and not being a very good TV presenter. 

I agree with you lot though, she's fucking irritating.  If I had to work in an office with her I might find her sweet enough, but there's something about her presence on the airwaves that jangles on the nerves.  She adds nothing to any subject you care to name - they could put one of those battery-powered yapping toy dogs on in her place and it would provide as much whacky value, as well as contributing as much infotainment[nb]And a yapping toy dog which also does backflips might also put paid to Vernon Kay's television career[/nb].  Her career is a bafflement. 

She read the scores well on Eurovision one year, though. 

[TIAL]

I just don't get all the hate directed torwards her.
Sure, she's not the greatest presenter or DJ that has ever lived but I don't see why she rattles so many cages. Whenever I've heard/seen her she's been fairly pleasant.

[rjd2]

She's not much worse than Laverne really.

[Consignia]

Didn't she get her kick start into TV presenting from winning a competition for some GMTV Disney vechicle? I vaguley remember watching it and shallowly wanting her to win because she was the prettiest.

[23 Daves]

I just don't get all the hate directed torwards her.
Sure, she's not the greatest presenter or DJ that has ever lived but I don't see why she rattles so many cages. Whenever I've heard/seen her she's been fairly pleasant.

I think for me it's the sense that she's partly responsible for killing "Top of the Pops" with her dreadfulness.  This is probably a bit unfair, but I can't shake the suspicion that she had a heavy part to play. 

[TIAL]

I tend to agree with the Word Magazine's theory that the charts were created to manage distribution of physical music, but were rendered useless once mp3s counted and it didn't really matter anymore. Therefore it didn't matter who presented TOTP, it was bound to fail. But maybe that's a theory for a different thread.

[The Duck Man]

Didn't she get her kick start into TV presenting from winning a competition for some GMTV Disney vechicle? I vaguley remember watching it and shallowly wanting her to win because she was the prettiest.

She presented "Diggit" on Saturday mornings before SMTV live. It was linked to both GMTV in some way (same end time, as I recall: 9:25) and Disney, from whom they sourced their cartoon content. Her co-presenter was "Des" who was actually called Paul.

And as Daves says above, she's probably a nice person, but she's a wholly irritating media presence. A plethora of annoying verbal tics (spelling out OMG being her favourite), a zeitgeist drone (no doubt reasons why Radio 1 like her), no suggestion of having anything of worth to say about anything, no real charisma, charm or wit.

She brings nothing to the party at Radio 1. I know most on here would write off the whole station, especially in daytime, but Moyles, Mill and Greg James are at worse competent and all are capable of producing amusing-enough content. Cotton doesn't, albeit it's not really her role - her predecessor in the 10am slot Jo Whiley was daytime's nominated music expert. But Cotton doesn't seem to have much music knowledge either - her show is just three hours of vapidity. And I'm astonished at how often she is allowed to plug Celebrity Juice on the station. A show, though, that sums her up, seeing as the only shows she seems to helm are facile ITV2 celebrity shit.

I'v just tried to find Charlie Brooker taking apart her show on Peaches Geldof, but alas it doesn't appear to be on YouTube. She got a bit upset about it and had a moan on Twitter.

[Phil_A]

I think for me it's the sense that she's partly responsible for killing "Top of the Pops" with her dreadfulness.  This is probably a bit unfair, but I can't shake the suspicion that she had a heavy part to play.

Nah, it was Andi Peters coming in and wrecking the format, wasn't it?

[babyshambler]

She's just another screen presence that loves everything and criticises nothing unless it's very safe to do so. Blerrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhh.

[deadly lampshade]

I'v just tried to find Charlie Brooker taking apart her show on Peaches Geldof, but alas it doesn't appear to be on YouTube. She got a bit upset about it and had a moan on Twitter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-OatBpJq3E#

Nah, it was Andi Peters coming in and wrecking the format, wasn't it?

This, although I'm guessing he was given the job as part of a long, slow winding-down process that had already started - get rid of a much-loved but little-watched show with as little controversy as they could manage. I'm still pissed off about it, myself. >:(

[biggytitbo]

Couldn't top of the pops still work as a sort of jools holland for kids? with the iTunes charts or something.

[Pepotamo1985]

I just don't get all the hate directed torwards her.
Sure, she's not the greatest presenter or DJ that has ever lived but I don't see why she rattles so many cages. Whenever I've heard/seen her she's been fairly pleasant.

I think it's because she's a particularly loud, potted example of everything that's wrong with modern television. She has a pretty face but no discernible talents of any description, and if she's involved in any programme it's a foregone conclusion it'll be an epic carnival of vacuity. Her patent uselessness in any capacity other than as moderately decent eye candy just makes me angry at the content and quality of television in general and makes me fret about the state of Britain and the human race in general (I mean, a sizeable clump of people must watch this shit - and further, accept it unquestioningly and without complaint). Her continued status as a TV personality is also symptomatic (at least to me) of a much wider societal trend, which dictates that it's not only OK to be stupid and superficial, but that intelligence is a BAD, otherworldly thing which is decidedly 'uncool' and should be viewed with suspicion and ridicule. She's not just restricted to shows that fit into her limited niche...because very little intelligent programming seemingly exists in the mainstream media, and thus her ubiquity is assured.

So yeah. It's not so much her, because as an individual she's self-evidently innocuous, it's what she represents - which is something damaging and very dangerous.

[Doomy Dwyer]

^That's very nicely put. I'd argue with the innocuous bit. I think she's the personification of pure evil. But...yeah. Nice one.

[Mister Six]

Most of us are many genes short of Down Syndrome.

This is a superbly funny comment and well worth highlighting. Hence this post.

[Retinend]

is the broken image one of Fearne Cotton's tits?

[Uncle TechTip]

a much wider societal trend, which dictates that it's not only OK to be stupid and superficial, but that intelligence is a BAD, otherworldly thing which is decidedly 'uncool' and should be viewed with suspicion and ridicule.

Overreach of the week. Sure, she comes across as rather vacuous, but I get no sense of this anti-intellectualism you speak of. Is there evidence, or are you just projecting your own conclusions onto her?

[momatt]

She can't talk properly.  Interspersing every sentence with so many "like", "kinda", "literally", "amazing", "obviously", that it makes no sense at all.  Which isn't great if talking is your whole job.
This is definitely a trend amoungst media types.  Not evil, but makes 80% of TV unwatchable[nb]probably would be anyway[/nb].

[biggytitbo]

She can't talk properly.  Interspersing every sentence with so many "likes", "kinda", "literally", "obviously", that it makes no sense at all.  Which isn't great if talking is your whole job.
This is definitely a trend amoungst media types.  Not evil, but makes 80% of TV unwatchable[nb]probably would be anyway[/nb].

Fern Cotton is 30 this year.

[Uncle TechTip]

She can't talk properly.  Interspersing every sentence with so many "like", "kinda", "literally", "amazing", "obviously", that it makes no sense at all.  Which isn't great if talking is your whole job.
This is definitely a trend amoungst media types.  Not evil, but makes 80% of TV unwatchable[nb]probably would be anyway[/nb].

It's a trend amongst most people under 30, have you been outside recently?

[momatt]

It's a trend amongst most people under 30, have you been outside recently?

Fern Cotton is 30 this year.

Not an excuse anyway.

[Doomy Dwyer]

It's a trend amongst most people under 30, have you been outside recently?

Yeah, Momatt, get yourself outside on the streets and, maybe, check out what the kids are sayin'? Just because Fearne's, like, a television presenter, doesn't mean she's got to, like, be, y'know, coherent or articulate, sort of, y'know, that type of thing? It's enough that she's got lovely, like, hair and that? Stick to Newsnight, or like, whatever, if you don't like it, yeah?

[sick as a pike]

F.Cotton did some filming at a studio where my friend works.  Apparently she is very pleasant, but-

F.Cotton: Oh, who's that playing in the other studio?
Friend: [names a quite well-known band]
F.Cotton: (In utter hand-waving astonishment and disbelief) No! SHUT UP!  SHUT UPPPP!
Friend: Er, but it really is them.
F.Cotton: SHUT UP!  SHUT UPPPP!
Friend: ...Erm, but-
F.Cotton: SHUT UP!  SHUT UPPPP!

[Uncle TechTip]

Yeah, Momatt, get yourself outside on the streets and, maybe, check out what the kids are sayin'? Just because Fearne's, like, a television presenter, doesn't mean she's got to, like, be, y'know, coherent or articulate, sort of, y'know, that type of thing? It's enough that she's got lovely, like, hair and that? Stick to Newsnight, or like, whatever, if you don't like it, yeah?

Yeah, that's precisely what I'm saying, chump. I'm not saying "don't pick on her because she's like a million other people aged 20-30 in this country", not at all, I'm making some inverted snobbery comment, that's right.

[Doomy Dwyer]

Believe it or not, but no one has ever called me a 'chump' before. It has nice noirish overtones. Nice one Uncle, you righteous dude.

[Utter Shit]

I've never met her myself but some of my friends went to school with her (she's from Eastcote which is just up the road from me) and they've never had anything particularly bad to say about her. In fact they've never had much to say about her either way tbh. Whereas I know from various people that Tom from McFly is one of the loveliest people in the whole world and about the unlikeliest pop star ever, while from experience I know that Kate Nash is a good laugh.

For some reason my area seems to be a real breeding ground for celebrities of various sorts. All these lot are my generation and from my area...

-Dev Patel (Slumdog Millionaire)
-Fearne Cotton
-Kate Nash
-Tom Fletcher (McFly)
-Scouting for Girls
-Jerome Thomas (footballer and professional arsehole)
-Jay Sean
-Theo Walcott

Also a number of less recognisable footballers like Adrian Mariappa, John-Joe O'Toole and Ciaran Clark. It's weird because you're talking about a tiny area that all these lot are from, is this a similar occurrence for others or is there something in the Harrow water other than a higher-than-average amount of pollutants?