Favourite football tropes

[kalowski]

What are those things that regularly happen in football matches that just cheer you up to witness.
For.me, I love it when a keeper does a great save and then storms out to berate the defence. Cheers me every time.

[Old Thrashbarg]

One that only started recently, but a goal kick where the keeper plays it short to one of the two centre backs, both of whom have dropped back to the six yard box for some reason. And then between the three of them, they completely fuck things up and end up giving possession away cheaply when put under the slightest pressure.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

In a post match interview when a player begins a response to a question with the words "Yeah, no".

[Kankurette]

Keepers doing dramatic saves that injure or nearly kill them. Yes, Jordan 'owie my shoulder' Archer, I do mean you.

Managers showing off their football skills.

[kalowski]

In a post match interview when a player begins a response to a question with the words "Yeah, no".

Ha, brilliant.

[The Culture Bunker]

One that only started recently, but a goal kick where the keeper plays it short to one of the two centre backs, both of whom have dropped back to the six yard box for some reason. And then between the three of them, they completely fuck things up and end up giving possession away cheaply when put under the slightest pressure.

I've seen this happen even at non-league level, and the consequences are often even more hilarious than you get watching millionaires doing it because you get to hear one old boy scream, over the slight background noise, "DON'T FUCK AROUND, YOU STUPID TWATS!"

[Captain Z]

The wave of yyyeeeaaa... ohhh... wheeeey! crowd noise that occurs when a section of one crowd thinks they've scored but it's hit the side netting.

[DrGreggles]

I like it when a commentator has obviously scripted something to say when a goal is scored, so they say it, but the goal's disallowed - and they can't use it again. HA!
I'm such a hateful person...

Also a thunderbastard that's still rising as it goes in. Bonus points for thunking the underside of the crossbar too.

[kalowski]

Managers showing off their football skills.

love it.

[kalowski]

These are all fantastic. Feel like I'm at the ultimate game. Keep em coming.

EG MOTD showing what seems like an unimportant yellow card but you know it will be followed up 5 mins later with a second yellow for the same player.

[bgmnts]

A player clearly looking for the foul, the foul not being given, but the player having to keep up the act of being hurt and limping for a few seconds.

[notjosh]

A balloon getting on the pitch and the players pretending like they're not distracted by it.

[Kankurette]

A player petting a stray cat or dog that runs onto the pitch. Bonus points if the player is a goalie who has discovered a kindred spirit (there are certain keepers who remind me of a large angry cat or dog, Pickford for instance).

Managers running up and down the touchline dramatically when they win and/or get a much needed result. Bonus points if the manager does his hammy (hello Klopp) or breaks his hand (hello Lampard).

[Captain Z]

Harry, you saved a goal with your chest at one end, then immediately nutmegged 5 players and scored a 50-yard screamer... Ronaldo and Messi have already called it the best goal of all time and even Maradona's ghost was seen applauding, you must be thrilled?

Heh, well at the end of the day the most important thing is the three points for the team...

[Clatty McCutcheon]

A player smashing the ball completely out of the stadium (less likely in the bigger grounds, admittedly) - particularly if it was actually an effort at goal rather than a thump-it-anywhere clearance.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Quick shot of a fat man with his shirt off in the crowd.

[studpuppet]

[Kankurette]

Small child holding sign asking a player for his shirt. Bonus points if said player donates said shirt.

Quick shot of a fat man with his shirt off in the crowd.

Newcastle disqualified because topless fat Geordies are two a penny at St James' Park.

[Gulftastic]

A crowd shout of 'HANDBALL!' followed by the ref not giving it followed by an angrier, more insistent'HANDBALL!!'

[EOLAN]

A crowd shout of 'HANDBALL!' followed by the ref not giving it followed by an angrier, more insistent'HANDBALL!!'

I like when the opposition crowd then sarcastically shout 'handball!' for every pass played.

[Kankurette]

The crowd shouting 'whooooOOOOOAAA' as the goalie does a goal kick. Even at non league games. Bonus points if the goalie plays along and does the 'turn up the volume' gesture.

[dontpaintyourteeth]

Crowd chanting swears at a televised game. Commentator forced to awkwardly apologise.

[dr beat]

Sea

Sean Dyche audibly swears at a televised game. Commentator forced to awkwardly apologise.

Also - impeccably observed one minutes silence followed by a massive crowd roar.

[sevendaughters]

away team scores, feed cuts to shot of players celebrating in front of home fans, dad of 3 on 80k giving it the full arms WANKER sign

[Inspector Norse]

One that only started recently, but a goal kick where the keeper plays it short to one of the two centre backs, both of whom have dropped back to the six yard box for some reason. And then between the three of them, they completely fuck things up and end up giving possession away cheaply when put under the slightest pressure.

Similarly, when 2-3 players stand over a free kick for ages discussing their plan in hushed tones with hands hiding their mouths. One raises his hand, they engage in an elaborate will-he-won't-he routine taking turns to step forwards and back, before one steps up and sends it over everyone's head and harmlessly out for a goal kick.

See also: Ronalado going through his routine, commentators building him up like a goal is inevitable, Ronaldo pumping it straight into the wall.

[confettiinmyhair]

The home team ball boys not fetching the ball when the away team wins a throw in.

A player who has suffered a bereavement scoring a goal and then pointing up to 'heaven'. Or more positively an expectant father doing a rocking the baby or thumb sucking celebration.

[stranger]

The crowd shouting 'whooooOOOOOAAA' as the goalie does a goal kick. Even at non league games. Bonus points if the goalie plays along and does the 'turn up the volume' gesture.

I prefer the "whooooooOOO" <kick> "you're shit aaaaaah!" you hear less often these days

[jobotic]

Aaaah

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh


Seen that go on for five minutes

[Inspector Norse]

The rotating cast of journeyman French silver fox types who turn up in charge of African teams at every World Cup

[DrGreggles]

The rotating cast of journeyman French silver fox types who turn up in charge of African teams at every World Cup

Phillipe Trousers!