Let's just make shit up

[Mark Steels Stockbroker]

1. David Cameron was the original singer in Oxford 80s student indie band Talulah Gosh.

[buttgammon]

2. 75% of bacon sold in supermarkets is actually horse.

3. Alexa Chung is a trained barrister.

[The Boston Crab]

This is what I always do, anyway.

[Don_Preston]

TV chef Ken Hom is also a free jazz saxophonist who influenced Peter Brötzmann.

[biggytitbo]

Clive Dunn invented the Havok physics engine used in many video games.

[Dead kate moss]

Superman is a massive racist.

[Stone Cold Jane Austen]

Pop star Prince had his entire ribcage removed so that he can rim himself.

[biggytitbo]

After a whirlwind media romance, Megan Fox recently married the Great Supremdo.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Michael J Fox doesn't really have Parkinson's disease, he's just cold.

[mook]

Michael J Fox doesn't really have Parkinson's disease, he's just cold.

you, old flower are getting karma for that.

[I accept the terms of the]

I thought he just couldn't stop dancing.

I'm writing for Family Guy!

[BlodwynPig]

Cook'd and Bomb'd was originally a website/shrine to TV presenter Sue Cook and her campaign against Princess Diana's Mine Charity.

In 1997, Sue was shamed into wearing a flak jacket and now spends upwards of 6 hours a day sweeping for mines.

[Dead kate moss]

Ozzy Osbourne wrote most of the works of George Orwell, well before he was born. The first Black Sabbath album, however, was written by Oliver Cromwell.

[biggytitbo]

Back to the Future 4 was completed but had to be canned due to them accidentally filming the entire thing with Michael J Fox's penis hanging out of his Levis. All footage was destroyed and non disclosure agreements signed. In a cruel twist, just 2 years later Robert zemeckis developed groundbreaking new CGI technology that could have easily removed the offending genital out of each shot.

[Consignia]

Narwhals are actually aliens, and those tusks are used to communicate psychically with their brethren in another Galaxy.

[biggytitbo]

Cliff Richard has waged a secret tit for tat vendetta against the Triads since the late 60s.

[Beagle 2]

Stephen Spielberg has just signed a deal that paves the way for a 2013 remake of Jurassic Park with the velociraptors played by past and present members of Chumbawumba, as was always his original vision.

[Don_Preston]

Scritti Politti's Green Gartside isn't actually green. He's blue.

[Consignia]

Jeremy Clarkson et al. are going to come out on the next edition of their car themed program, which will henceforth be known as "Top Queer". This is the gist of the superinjuction taken out earlier.

[Stone Cold Jane Austen]

Actor Robert Patrick is allergic to scousers.

[Nobody Soup]

dolphins are baby horses

[Mark Steels Stockbroker]

Most prostitutes vote Conservative.

[Absorb the anus burn]

1. Diminutive actress Shirley Henderson likes to fuck herself in the legpits with a dildo made out Lady Barnet's earwax.

2. Quakers believe that every tenth aborted foetus gets reincarnated as a petulant wasp.

3. The Chemical Brothers are in fact siamese brothers, born of the same twat. There was a third brother called Cedric who died aged nine after an allergic reaction to an out of date Mars bar.

[biggytitbo]

Nicholas Lyndhurst has the longest biffins bridge ever recorded.

[Dead kate moss]

Zippy from Rainbow is a massive racist.

[Ambient Sheep]

The average distance from the Earth to the Moon is 238,855 miles, and if it weren't for the vacuum, gravity well, and lack of traction, you could drive there in just over four months of continuous 24/7 80mph motoring.

[The Boston Crab]

This is why the band doesn't post here any more.

Wait, wrong forum meme!

[biggytitbo]

Former UN secretary general Kofi Anan and Batman own Pioneer, the worlds biggest manufacturer of snooker chalk.

[Sexton Brackets Drugbust]

Dogs can't digest pasta. It can prove fatal if consumed.
Disney animation 'Lady and the Tramp' has been banned in several countries.

[Ambient Sheep]

The words "abstemious" and "facetious" both have all five vowels in them in order, once each.