Having To Take Your Shoes Off Round Some People's Houses

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[biggytitbo]

Take your fucking shoes off you CUNTS.


If people don't take their shoes off round mine I cut their stupid fucking feet off.


That's also why I have no friends.

[Steve Lampkins]

Well, you can keep your shoes on if I sense you're wholly feral.

[Dead kate moss]

Your reasoning is correct, and it's not weird!

It's 'weird' in that there is no tradesman or repair man in the UK that will take their shoes off without being asked. Even if it was snowing shit they'd traipse it in.

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It's 'weird' in that there is no tradesman or repair man in the UK that will take their shoes off without being asked. Even if it was snowing shit they'd traipse it in.

They do indeed traipse plaster, paint and other non-removable residues about the place.  I will testify to this on several occasions if you ask it of me.

[HappyTree]

Plus I always wear odd socks and it's embarrassing.

Up here it is "the done thing" always to take your shoes off. In fact every house and flat (that I've seen so far) has a little area just inside the door specifically for this purpose. I like it. I wear slippers at home (Vans Off the Wall if you please) and take them with me on hotel trips, but otherwise it's a veritable sock-fest round at people's places.

I have worn odd socks since I was about 15, it's become a habit by now, an affectation. But it provided about 30 minutes of amusing repartee at a housewarming party last week. Don't be ashamed, it's society's problem, not ours! Are you a stone or a sponge, boy?

[BlodwynPig]

Even in my burgling days I would take off my shoes whilst ransacking the house.

Now I don't leave the house and my floors are made of sponge.

[Serge]

[tag]Donnie Brasco enters thread and inadvertantly gets poster beaten to a pulp.[/tag] (Wouldn't fit in the tags.)

I've never been asked to remove my shoes in my life, what kind of la-di-da places are you fella's runnin'?

[Cerys]

I was asked to at a birthday party when I was about nine.  I say 'asked to' - what actually happened was that I saw someone take theirs off and I thought it was optional as nothing had been said.  It turned out everyone else had taken off their shoes and I only realised this when I started getting dirty looks followed by a telling-off.

To be fair, the mother concerned was an utter, utter bitch.

[Small Man Big Horse]

A good way to get revenge against the anti shoes brigade is to wear very cheap thick socks which leave black bobbily bits all over their carpets. Or nip up to the toilet, do a poo on your socks, and smear that all over their fucking house.

[Smeraldina Rima]

Up here it is "the done thing" always to take your shoes off. In fact every house and flat (that I've seen so far) has a little area just inside the door specifically for this purpose. I like it.

Are you thinking of a porch? As in, leave your shoes in the porch.

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I was asked to at a birthday party when I was about nine.  I say 'asked to' - what actually happened was that I saw someone take theirs off and I thought it was optional as nothing had been said.  It turned out everyone else had taken off their shoes and I only realised this when I started getting dirty looks followed by a telling-off.

To be fair, the mother concerned was an utter, utter bitch.

This kind of thing happened to me a lot as a kid.  As I was growing up, the unspoken instruction seemed to be to constantly make assumptions based on vague situations, then quickly form incomplete judgements, act upon them immediately and just hope for the best.  Not being an accurate mindreader, or fumbling slightly in the process of trying to figure things out, led to being swiftly grabbed by the arm and growled at.  Was good.

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Are you thinking of a porch? As in, leave your shoes in the porch.

No no, that's kangaroos you wally.  He's talking about houses.

[Dead kate moss]

Alternatively a space where you can put your shoes if you live in the house. Just inside the door. I think many houses have them, yes.

[Dead kate moss]

This kind of thing happened to me a lot as a kid.  As I was growing up, the unspoken instruction seemed to be to constantly make assumptions based on vague and incomplete situations, then act upon ill-formed judgements and just hope for the best.  Not being an accurate mindreader, or fumbling slightly in the process of trying to figure things out, led to being swiftly grabbed by the arm and growled at.  Was good.

In short, my pattern was - go to another child's house. Break something by accident (curtains, roof of garage, expensive toy). Be banned from that house.

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Alternatively a space where you can put your shoes if you live in the house. Just inside the door. I think many houses have them, yes.

WHAT IF IT HAS BEEN FILLED.

[BlodwynPig]

I was asked to at a birthday party when I was about nine.  I say 'asked to' - what actually happened was that I saw someone take theirs off and I thought it was optional as nothing had been said.  It turned out everyone else had taken off their shoes and I only realised this when I started getting dirty looks followed by a telling-off.

To be fair, the mother concerned was an utter, utter bitch.

What about your ride? Do you get asked to take your wheels off before entering, do the hosts just tip you out and leave the chair outside or do you have wheel mittens?

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In short, my pattern was - go to another child's house. Break something by accident (curtains, roof of garage, expensive toy). Be banned from that house.

Me too.  In my defense, I think my gyroscope was off.

[Cerys]

In short, my pattern was - go to another child's house. Break something by accident (curtains, roof of garage, expensive toy). Be banned from that house.

I had a knack for taking toys apart and being interrupted before I could put them back together, which led to a career of being reminded by many stupid people that I'd 'broken' their toy.  The occasions on which I had broken the toy were few verging on nonexistent - and yet oddly I was never interrupted when I was actually doing something wrong.

What about your ride? Do you get asked to take your wheels off before entering, do the hosts just tip you out and leave the chair outside or do you have wheel mittens?

I just roll mud and dogshit over their carpets.  It's a hobby. [nb]Nah, I get out and walk as short a distance as possible - in my delightfully pristine shoes.[/nb]

[Mr Eggs]

A good way to get revenge against the anti shoes brigade is to wear very cheap thick socks which leave black bobbily bits all over their carpets. Or nip up to the toilet, do a poo on your socks, and smear that all over their fucking house.

Alternatively, remove shoes and reveal verruca socks covered in athlete's foot powder....

To be honest, round here, NO-ONE asks or expects shoe removal. I do it if I have my clonking-great work boots on or if I have shoes that I feel would compromise their floor surface in some tiny way...If someone asked me to remove 'em, I would have no qualms. It's their house....I would force them to remove theirs if they came round my gaff, though....Whist I wore my slightly grubby boots.

[Dead kate moss]

Me too.  In my defense, I think my gyroscope was off.

In my defence, other people had not seen the possibilities that I could.

[Viero_Berlotti]

If some cunt asks you to remove your shoes then a good way to get them back is to take a massive dump in their toilet but don't flush it, or, after you have left, sneak back round there in the early hours of the morning and take a piss through the letter box.

[Buelligan]

[I've never been asked to remove my shoes in my life, what kind of la-di-da places are you fella's runnin'?

Note to self; Obviously looks like the sort of person who is more congenial with shoes.

[HappyTree]

Are you thinking of a porch? As in, leave your shoes in the porch.

I don't know of many flats that have porches!

[Cerys]

The ones upstairs from us do.  Each floor has two flats, with a door leading off the main staircase into a shared doorstep zone - a 'porch', if you will.  So nyer.

[El Unicornio, mang]

I have to say, I don't like being asked to remove my shoes. Isn't the role of a doormat to wipe any dirt from your shoes? It probably comes from my parents who wouldn't DREAM of asking anyone to take off their shoes, even if they were total strangers coming in with boots caked in dog excrement, my Mam would be all "Oh it's OK, leave them on, don't be silly!". I mean, if it's a snowy or really wet season, maybe, but otherwise I find it a bit rude. I mean, why not give me some sanitary wipes to clean off my grubby little fingers, and some mouthwash so I'm not breathing my filthy dragon breath into your perfect clean air too.

[Saucer51]

No shoes in my house nor smoking. I have a conservatory where people can deposit their shoes safe from the elements. Similarly, if I walk into mostly public buildings when it's raining, I always give my shoes a long rub on the mat then watch in dismay as other people trudge their water logged feet over shiny tiles for others to trip up on.

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I mean, why not give me some sanitary wipes to clean off my grubby little fingers, and some mouthwash so I'm not breathing my filthy dragon breath into your perfect clean air too.

To this day, whenever anybody asks me if I'd like "a chewing gum" I make a point of spearing them in the heart with my T-1000 extendo bolts.

[Serge]

Note to self; Obviously looks like the sort of person who is more congenial with shoes.

What can I say? Wearing shoes is my life.

[23 Daves]

I'm glad this thread has come up, because I went round a friend's house for his birthday on Saturday and took my shoes off at the door - and spent the rest of the evening getting sarcastic and unfunny comments from shoe-wearing people ("Oh, come walking here in your socks did you?!  That's brave of you at this time of year!")

I do it out of habit.  My wife's Canadian anyway and it is indeed normal to take your shoes off at the door in that country, so if I wear shoes in my own flat - which isn't often - it gets questioned[nb]This despite the fact that she's a filth wizard in just about all other aspects of household cleanliness.[/nb].  I think I went through a phase of wearing shoes around the house when I was a student and lived in a horrible dive, but frankly it feels wrong, as if you haven't quite settled and are planning to dart out of the front door again any minute.  Once the shoes come off, you're essentially telling yourself: "It's OK.  I'm not planning to go anywhere for awhile.  In fact, I may stay here the night.  I can relax and stretch my toes around a bit, and maybe even make a start on reading that delightful James Clavell novel".  If I only I had a real log fire, the picture of domesticity would be complete. 

This reply isn't an excerpt from a John Shuttleworth script.  But it very well could be.  Oof!