Cook'd and Bomb'd

Forums => H.S. Art => Topic started by: Fambo Number Mive on November 18, 2021, 08:58:18 PM

Title: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on November 18, 2021, 08:58:18 PM
And round the corner, chocolate's made!
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Replies From View on November 19, 2021, 07:02:38 AM
Nobody ever goes in
and nobody ever comes out
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Glebe on November 19, 2021, 07:06:21 AM
We daren't go a-hunting, for fear of little men.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on November 19, 2021, 09:06:48 AM
The stench of chocolate is occasionally drowned out by the odour of semen. Willy Wonka? Willy Wanker more like.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Glebe on November 19, 2021, 10:13:04 AM
Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on November 19, 2021, 09:06:48 AMThe stench of chocolate is occasionally drowned out by the odour of semen. Willy Wonka? Willy Wanker more like.

Chocolate sales drop "to all time low".
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: frajer on November 19, 2021, 12:03:02 PM
I live nearby too and once saw Wonka tugging one out in his great glass elevator. He was hovering over the courtyard, pulling the head off it like a feral David Blaine.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on November 19, 2021, 02:46:45 PM
"As there are children on the tour, we shall skip the Onanism Room"

Grandpa Joe was very disappointed.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: GMTV on November 19, 2021, 03:02:57 PM
Repeated Improvement Notices issued by the Environment Agency regarding semen discharges into the local watercourses
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Mr Farenheit on November 19, 2021, 04:26:56 PM
come here
(https://www.pngkey.com/png/full/120-1203302_put-willy-wonka-into-things-wonka-and-the.png)
inside
What is this Wonka, some kind of funny farm?
NO, it's so much more, just come inside and I'll show you


Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Midas on November 19, 2021, 05:25:40 PM
sad to say i'm not at all surprised wonka's been sprinkling his dew all over his produce. dirty bastard.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on November 19, 2021, 05:40:37 PM
Wonka last left the factory in 1981, to buy a copy of Jugs magazine and a jar of mayonnaise.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Stoneage Dinosaurs on November 19, 2021, 06:17:17 PM
Oompa Loompa Doopity Danus
Hello slut I want to live in your anus
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: frajer on November 19, 2021, 07:51:45 PM
Oompa Loompa Doopity Danker
Watch me rub one out while my boat drops anchor
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: jobotic on November 19, 2021, 08:10:30 PM
Willy Wonka? I barely knew her!
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Midas on November 19, 2021, 08:13:03 PM
I want the works
I want the whole works

Cream buns and dog nuts and fruitcake with log nuts
All mixed in with hog guts

Give it to me
Rrhh rhhh
Now!
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Replies From View on November 20, 2021, 10:14:46 AM
Quote from: Midas on November 19, 2021, 08:13:03 PMI want the works
I want the whole works

Cream buns and dog nuts and fruitcake with log nuts
All mixed in with hog guts

Give it to me
Rrhh rhhh
Now!

and she's still 12 right?
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: dissolute ocelot on November 20, 2021, 10:37:00 AM
I help escaped Oompah-Loompahs flee through the sewers. Then I kill them and turn their flesh into pies.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Replies From View on November 20, 2021, 10:54:09 AM
Quote from: dissolute ocelot on November 20, 2021, 10:37:00 AMI help escaped Oompah-Loompahs flee through the sewers. Then I kill them and turn their flesh into pies.

The 'pastry' of the pies, or the fillings?
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: H-O-W-L on November 20, 2021, 02:18:35 PM
I live near Willy Wanker's factory and it is incredibly depressing.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Glebe on November 20, 2021, 07:28:28 PM
There were uncomfortable faces at a recent chocolate industry bash when he was announced as a 'seminal' chocolate-maker.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: GMTV on November 20, 2021, 09:38:37 PM
Quote from: Glebe on November 20, 2021, 07:28:28 PMThere were uncomfortable faeces at a recent chocolate industry bash when he was announced as a 'seminal' chocolate-maker.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Replies From View on November 20, 2021, 11:37:58 PM
Quote from: H-O-W-L on November 20, 2021, 02:18:35 PMI live near Willy Wanker's factory and it is incredibly depressing.

Move in then
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Glebe on November 21, 2021, 09:11:56 AM
hiya willy wonka mate
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Jerzy Bondov on November 21, 2021, 12:08:50 PM
Willy Wonka's Wonky Willy. He has been suffering from Peyronie's disease for over 18 months and will now be undergoing surgery to correct the bend in his shaft, but this will sadly lead to some shortening of the penis.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Glebe on November 21, 2021, 01:33:35 PM
Factory's been closed down by Health & Safety. No reason given, but I've heard chat of 'spunk', 'shite' and 'other unmentionables'.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: The Dog on November 22, 2021, 02:06:50 PM
Owned by the Lockheed Martin corporation now.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Glebe on November 22, 2021, 04:13:41 PM
When did Wonka's standards drop so steeply? He used to produce wonderful choc like Scrumdiddlyumptious bars, now he's filling his products with spunk and shit if this thread is to be believed.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on November 22, 2021, 04:17:10 PM
His products were always filled with varying amounts of bodily fluids, sadly.

Scrumdiddlyumptious? Cumdiddlyumptious more like!
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: H-O-W-L on November 22, 2021, 04:20:41 PM
Glassdoor reviews are rather worrisome.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: frajer on November 22, 2021, 04:44:28 PM
Turns out all along the "vile" Slugworth was just the unfortunate victim of Wonka's smear campaign (and by that I DO mean the many times Wonka smeared his cock all over Slugworth's windscreen).
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Midas on November 22, 2021, 05:33:18 PM
food standards agency inspectors discover german skeleton in river of shit
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on November 22, 2021, 05:48:48 PM
Mike Teevee in charge of the CCTV room, having sat in the same chair for twenty years, now a middle aged man with massive bags under his eyes. He briefly looks away from the screens to activate his chair toilet. An Oompa Loompa brings him a wrinkled looking hamburger and warm milkshake.

Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Glebe on November 22, 2021, 06:24:50 PM
That fucking flying lift is fucked after going through the roof and all. "Autoglass repair, Autoglass replace!"
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Midas on November 23, 2021, 02:24:01 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/8oG8u5k.jpg)

WONKA TALKS:

"there is NO semen in the chocolate"

"these accusations have to stop"

"you reap what you sow"
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Glebe on November 23, 2021, 10:35:08 AM
Apparently Wonka is now instructing the Oompa Loompas to dump bins of dog shit all over the factory floors. What next?!
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: H-O-W-L on November 23, 2021, 04:40:06 PM
Wonka seeks specialist in "Jammed Child" fiasco.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: frajer on November 23, 2021, 07:17:26 PM
Willy Wonka owns this town and everyone in it, capiche? Now orange up and get declogging the child bones from this chimney.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: H-O-W-L on November 24, 2021, 07:26:30 AM
Loompa bones discovered during patio extension at Wonka's former Devon summer cottage.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: H-O-W-L on November 24, 2021, 07:36:54 AM
Never found the Oompa.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Glebe on November 24, 2021, 09:40:47 AM
"POUR MORE SPUNK ON THAT CARPET!"

"Yes, Mr. Wonka Sir. *singing* Oompa loompa loompa da dee, let's pour some spunk all over this carpet."
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: frajer on November 24, 2021, 10:23:51 AM
Bill Wonka? Sure, I knew him. Knew him when he was just a humble shop clerk, content with masturbating over unopened Fuse bars in the back room. But that was never going to be enough.
Title: Re: I live near Willy Wonka's factory
Post by: Midas on November 26, 2021, 12:34:46 AM
Willy Wonka "furious" after iconic Wonka Bar re-branded as "Bucket Bars" by new factory owner

"Buckets of what, pray tell? It's NOT semen, I'll tell you THAT for nowt!"