Cook'd and Bomb'd

Forums => General Bullshit => Topic started by: Dr Rock on November 19, 2021, 07:27:36 AM

Title: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Dr Rock on November 19, 2021, 07:27:36 AM
...
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: bgmnts on November 19, 2021, 07:29:13 AM
Please say weak and pale.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: shoulders on November 19, 2021, 07:34:15 AM
This is subject to a grammatical error.

"I like my coffee; how I like my men!"
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: AllisonSays on November 19, 2021, 08:41:07 AM
Fetishised by moustachioed hipsters?
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Brian Freeze on November 19, 2021, 08:42:33 AM
I was going to buy Barry Admin a coffee but cant find the link to click on.

A pink coffee.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Greg Torso on November 19, 2021, 08:43:00 AM
shat through the bowels of a palm civet
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: pancreas on November 19, 2021, 08:44:33 AM
at least three a day
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: AllisonSays on November 19, 2021, 08:50:20 AM
bitter and fruity
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: shoulders on November 19, 2021, 08:51:30 AM
Harvested by blighted povvo lepers in the 6th world
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Goldentony on November 19, 2021, 08:52:47 AM
causing me to uncontrollably diarrhea myself to unconsciousness
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: SpiderChrist on November 19, 2021, 08:53:48 AM
With milk and two sugars.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Dex Sawash on November 19, 2021, 09:26:42 AM
Made yesterday
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Voltan (Man of Steel) on November 19, 2021, 09:32:12 AM
In little metallic pods.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: pancreas on November 19, 2021, 09:33:47 AM
Pumped full of cream.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on November 19, 2021, 09:34:55 AM
For £1.69 in Lidl. Though I might pay up to £1.99, but not a penny more than that.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Blumf on November 19, 2021, 09:35:17 AM
I don't like coffee
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse on November 19, 2021, 09:41:42 AM
seriously is nobody going to say "black and strong" it's going to have to be me isn't it

now I have to sit with my shame
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Glebe on November 19, 2021, 10:03:43 AM
Shaved and oiled.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Dr Rock on November 19, 2021, 10:08:19 AM
Cheap, tasteless, not very hot, not too sweet, and from the back of a petrol station.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: idunnosomename on November 19, 2021, 10:10:12 AM
I'm just going to say covered in bees, but only because I genuinely do like that.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: drummersaredeaf on November 19, 2021, 10:10:37 AM
Inside me.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: ProvanFan on November 19, 2021, 10:14:11 AM
Out of Greggs
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Chollis on November 19, 2021, 10:14:51 AM
Coming out of my arse at around 10am
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Emotional Support Peacock on November 19, 2021, 10:22:05 AM
...slammed down my throat while I'm half asleep.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Pink Gregory on November 19, 2021, 10:26:46 AM
Strained through a series of sieves, leaving only liquid.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: BeardFaceMan on November 19, 2021, 10:31:08 AM
Passed through the digestive system of a cat.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Inspector Norse on November 19, 2021, 10:34:55 AM
in a cardboard mug with "EVAN" scrawled on it
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Inspector Norse on November 19, 2021, 10:35:46 AM
half-finished, forgotten and mouldering on a bathroom shelf
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Inspector Norse on November 19, 2021, 10:37:37 AM
spilling all over my keyboard in the middle of a vital Zoom meeting
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: pigamus on November 19, 2021, 10:48:06 AM
coating my throat in a motorway service station
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Captain Z on November 19, 2021, 10:54:31 AM
They're only the band Vanilla could have been:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEjV7a0WqUE&t=51s
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Mr_Simnock on November 19, 2021, 11:01:20 AM
I don't 'like' men, is there a coffee equivalent of ladyboys though?
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: dissolute ocelot on November 19, 2021, 11:08:25 AM
Gritty and Turkish. With toast.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Blumf on November 19, 2021, 11:22:35 AM
Prepared by Gareth Hunt shaking his hand

Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Voltan (Man of Steel) on November 19, 2021, 11:30:49 AM
In a seemingly endless stream from Brazil.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Dex Sawash on November 19, 2021, 11:40:41 AM
Have my fill while wife is still asleep
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Huxleys Babkins on November 19, 2021, 11:54:28 AM
Up the arse (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coffee_enema).
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: rack and peanut on November 19, 2021, 12:02:23 PM
Given in exchange for money with barely concealed contempt
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Dr Rock on November 19, 2021, 12:04:48 PM
Quote from: Mr_Simnock on November 19, 2021, 11:01:20 AMI don't 'like' men, is there a coffee equivalent of ladyboys though?

Feel free
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: boki on November 19, 2021, 12:13:32 PM
Life-threatening.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Norton Canes on November 19, 2021, 12:17:44 PM
Swallowed in one gulp
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Catalogue of ills on November 19, 2021, 12:18:15 PM
Trafficked to the UK by uncaring multinationals
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: jobotic on November 19, 2021, 12:19:26 PM
Burning the roof of my mouth
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Norton Canes on November 19, 2021, 12:21:36 PM
Something something grinder/grindr something
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Inspector Norse on November 19, 2021, 12:26:10 PM
Thick and bitter
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Inspector Norse on November 19, 2021, 12:27:49 PM
Shared with colleagues in the staff room while our students look on through the windows
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: QDRPHNC on November 19, 2021, 12:28:45 PM
In a bag in the fridge.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Cuellar on November 19, 2021, 12:29:43 PM
Ground up and then doused in scalding hot water by a minimum wage psychology student on 3 hours sleep
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: boki on November 19, 2021, 12:36:07 PM
A full bean to cup experience.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Greg Torso on November 19, 2021, 01:04:42 PM
- above average penis but nothing too showy
- knows his way around the kitchen, and the bedroom!
- solvent and independent but not afraid to let me baby him once in a while
- masculine but sometimes cries at cat adoption adverts
- good hygiene but not afraid to get dirty
- loves the MCU but thinks Zack Snyder is a hack
- will laugh when I make jokes about dead war veterans and children with eating disorders
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Glebe on November 19, 2021, 01:06:28 PM
"How do you like your eggs in the mornin'?"

"I like mine with a kiss from a man divorce."
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Video Game Fan 2000 on November 19, 2021, 02:36:06 PM
Drunk
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Ferris on November 19, 2021, 02:44:03 PM
Bitter and full of whisky.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: thenoise on November 19, 2021, 03:20:25 PM
Short, bitter, cheap.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Blumf on November 19, 2021, 03:29:06 PM
Quote from: Greg Torso on November 19, 2021, 01:04:42 PM...
- solvent
...

There's bad coffee, and then there's industrial chemicals.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Johnny Yesno on November 19, 2021, 03:31:17 PM
Sat in front of me with no top on, cooling off ready to be swallowed.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Dr Rock on November 19, 2021, 03:45:47 PM
Bought off the street, then passed around with my mum, dad and sisters, slurping down every little bit until we're all totally satiated and usually covered in a sticky mess. That we let the dog lick off.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Kankurette on November 19, 2021, 04:11:05 PM
Spilled all over the floor.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: AllisonSays on November 19, 2021, 04:18:20 PM
full of beans
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: bgmnts on November 19, 2021, 04:19:53 PM
Found in a bin outside Costa.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: paruses on November 19, 2021, 04:36:19 PM
Hot and bitter.

Also black.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Mr Banlon on November 19, 2021, 04:47:48 PM
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Dr Rock on November 19, 2021, 04:52:20 PM
Left to stew, then thrown out the window.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: flotemysost on November 19, 2021, 05:59:34 PM
Sustainable and brimming with nut milk.

I remember seeing a very silly short film in which a self-conscious looking bloke approaches a surly teenage barista, who reels off the various options (full fat milk, small hole in the lid to let out steam etc.) then yells out his order as "Short, bald, fat, white, with a small prick!" but I can't for the life of me think where I saw it.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: dissolute ocelot on November 19, 2021, 06:11:16 PM
Poured over ice cream with nuts on top. (http://"https://www.flavourandsavour.com/how-to-make-an-affogato-coffee-dessert/")
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: buttgammon on November 19, 2021, 07:04:01 PM
With an Italian name that people always get wrong.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Mavis Golightly on November 19, 2021, 08:14:33 PM
In the morning. In the kitchen, on the couch, in bed, in the bath, but never on the loo. I have to draw the line somewhere.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: TrenterPercenter on November 19, 2021, 08:29:06 PM
Guaranteed to precipitate a bowel movement
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Dex Sawash on November 19, 2021, 11:39:28 PM
Moved to HS Art
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: WhoMe on November 20, 2021, 12:18:47 AM
Responsibly sourced.

Massive knob.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: mothman on November 20, 2021, 01:42:25 AM
Black with artificial sweetener?
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Cold Meat Platter on November 20, 2021, 01:52:38 AM
Delusional and subservient.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Video Game Fan 2000 on November 20, 2021, 02:06:58 AM
Iced.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: jonbob on November 20, 2021, 05:10:22 AM
Taken from a developing nation in a burlap sack, for me to grind into powder with power tools in my home
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Better Midlands on November 20, 2021, 08:46:29 AM
• Prepared by a Gen Z'er with blue hair.
• Leaving a hot mess down the front of my trousers.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: DrGreggles on November 20, 2021, 09:19:23 AM
Being wanked off by Gareth Hunt
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on November 20, 2021, 10:24:50 AM
Quote from: ProvanFan on November 19, 2021, 10:14:11 AMOut of Greggs

Karen Blixen considers rewrite.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: kalowski on November 20, 2021, 10:29:43 AM
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: idunnosomename on November 20, 2021, 10:37:37 AM
Full of cum
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Tony Tony Tony on November 20, 2021, 03:51:43 PM
Italian and rich.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Dr Rock on November 20, 2021, 04:02:05 PM
Has to be Colombian. I need about three every morning just to wake up.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Custard on November 20, 2021, 04:09:56 PM
Found in a back alley and leaving a sour taste
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Icehaven on November 20, 2021, 04:17:06 PM
Flavouring cakes and chocolates.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Tony Tony Tony on November 20, 2021, 04:27:39 PM
Brazilian and full bodied.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: dissolute ocelot on November 20, 2021, 08:27:29 PM
Slathered in syrup and horrifying the purists.

Also no teeth breaking biscuits please.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: flotemysost on November 20, 2021, 08:50:22 PM
Ends up in the compost bin when I'm finished.

Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Cloud on November 22, 2021, 02:46:38 PM
Inside me within a couple of minutes of spooning so I can get on with my day
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: flotemysost on November 23, 2021, 09:26:42 PM
Unapologetically pretentious, claims to care about social causes, and leaves me feeling like an uncultured tryhard.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: pancreas on November 23, 2021, 09:37:22 PM
sprinkled with cinnamon ... it's just a lovely ingredient.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: idunnosomename on November 23, 2021, 10:22:59 PM
soft, strong and very very long
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: flotemysost on November 23, 2021, 10:36:38 PM
Perpetuating a fruitless addiction that's standing between me and home ownership, if the Tory-funded media are to be believed.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: dissolute ocelot on November 23, 2021, 11:40:19 PM
Accompanied by Anthony Head looking vaguely embarrassed.
Title: Re: 'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'
Post by: Video Game Fan 2000 on November 23, 2021, 11:44:45 PM
Just once before noon, else my anus ruptures and I leave a trial of blood from my desk to the bathroom.