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Crisps [split topic]

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, January 22, 2021, 11:41:06 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Captain Crunch

These have been around for a while but they're still absolutely lethal.  Shovel down a packet and you can immediately go for another one. 


Replies From View

At some point they are going to regret setting that as the ceiling.  What happens when they realise they can add more?  MAX +1 ?

Or MIGHTY MAX or some other tie-in would be good


FANTASTIC MAX was another that could definitely branch into crisps quite naturally




kid from GOOF TROOP was another

Sebastian Cobb


Replies From View

Hypermax maybe



need a tier system of some kind

Replies From View

Übermax
Hypermax
Ultramax
Supermax
Majormax



does that sound like roughly the correct order for those?

pancreas

Eventually a crisp will be developed which is so delicious that your brain sicks inside your skull and you spasm violently to death. This is how humanity will end: with dignity.

pigamus

Quote from: Captain Crunch on January 24, 2021, 05:46:55 PM
These have been around for a while but they're still absolutely lethal.  Shovel down a packet and you can immediately go for another one. 



Are these anything like ordinary Crinkles because those are horrible

hamfist

Quote from: Replies From View on January 24, 2021, 07:14:57 PM
Übermax
Hypermax
Ultramax
Supermax
Majormax



does that sound like roughly the correct order for those?

PANAMAX

then

CAPESIZE (advertised by Geoff Capes)

Replies From View

Quote from: hamfist on January 24, 2021, 07:56:35 PM
PANAMAX

then

CAPESIZE (advertised by Geoff Capes)

Are these larger than Übermax or smaller than Majormax?

Captain Crunch

Quote from: pigamus on January 24, 2021, 07:52:34 PMAre these anything like ordinary Crinkles because those are horrible

No that's how they get you - the texture is maximum crispy, almost as if it's been double fried, not hard like so-called posh crisps.  Walloping flavour too. 

Gregory Torso

IMPORTANT NIK NAKS UPDATE

Purple Rib-En-Saucy flavour bags 85g are on sale at Tesco Express in a big special box.

They are on sale in their own seperate bags, to take home and enjoy.

I know some of you have been waiting long for this.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Tried the Cheese & Chilli Extra Hot Pringles.

Same old reliable Pringle texture, so far so dull. First second or two there's nothing other than faint curdled staleness, like being in the vicinity of a veteran wanksock. Little detectable spice, then, to be fair, 5 seconds later, a rising dry heat. The delay itself is quite intriguing as far as the experience goes. The overall heat is quite spicy as far as the usual crisp standard goes. The heat lingers, but is fairly one-note and overly dry.

They are basically their Hot n Spicy version (rubbish) with additional smegma, stale cum and docker's gooch aromatics added.

Save the bother trying this rather 2D effort. If you are desperate for bedroom masturbation sweat and stinging self-abuse flava buy those Jalapeno & Cheese Walkers Strong, that are a more well rounded commitment to lingering in a fogbank of pre-cum.

Sebastian Cobb

I didn't mind the cheese and chilli ones. I actually bought all 3 and thought the lowest heat ones packed a decent punch that didn't get much higher with the other two.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

To be fair, they are aiming for shameless indulgence, self-hating marathon Fifa Career Mode wank sessions, so my review factors that in. For my money, the Walkers Strong effort has more intensity and takes you on a richer journey - more pathos.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

I just want a big bag of the cheese and onion powder that goes on the crisps. You know when you get a really powdery one? Or you finish the packet and a corner is just full of the powder? Just that.

Thursday

Quote from: Twit 2 on January 24, 2021, 10:55:38 AM
I know it'll be considered gauche, but Walkers Max Strong Jalapeño and Cheese really are great. They're horrible, which of course makes them great as, quite clearly, the more objectionable and unfoodlike a crisp is, the better it is. Everyone I know hates them, which only strengthens my resolve. Absolute shit heaven.

I was surprised by how strong these are, eating actual Jalapeno's is milder.

Malcy

Quote from: Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse on February 20, 2021, 12:31:14 PM
I just want a big bag of the cheese and onion powder that goes on the crisps. You know when you get a really powdery one? Or you finish the packet and a corner is just full of the powder? Just that.

I had a packet of Discos the other day with so much powder in the corner it reminded me of the sachets of powder you used to get inside them.

Good to have those Salt & Vinegar and Prawn Cocktail Quavers back.

Ferris

Googled discos to remind myself what they were, and found this gem of a blog post:

https://arcticterntalk.org/2017/05/13/how-many-crisps-in-a-packet-not-many-it-seems-twelve-to-be-precise-discos/

Edit: and before you try and be clever he's already thought of it, mate, so don't even fucking bother.

QuoteThe fact that this packet was from a multipack item is irrelevant.

buttgammon

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on February 20, 2021, 12:20:43 PM
Tried the Cheese & Chilli Extra Hot Pringles.

Same old reliable Pringle texture, so far so dull. First second or two there's nothing other than faint curdled staleness, like being in the vicinity of a veteran wanksock. Little detectable spice, then, to be fair, 5 seconds later, a rising dry heat. The delay itself is quite intriguing as far as the experience goes. The overall heat is quite spicy as far as the usual crisp standard goes. The heat lingers, but is fairly one-note and overly dry.

They are basically their Hot n Spicy version (rubbish) with additional smegma, stale cum and docker's gooch aromatics added.

Save the bother trying this rather 2D effort. If you are desperate for bedroom masturbation sweat and stinging self-abuse flava buy those Jalapeno & Cheese Walkers Strong, that are a more well rounded commitment to lingering in a fogbank of pre-cum.

Completely agree, they were a great disappointment. Jalapeno and Cheese Walkers are great, and when accompanied with a nice trappist ale or three they produce majestic shits too.

Replies From View

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on February 20, 2021, 12:20:43 PM
overly dry.

Oooohh mr darcy:  your pringles reconstituted potato snacks are deliciously moist, I find my thirst so quenched

Sebastian Cobb

I've got one of them cheapo microwave crisp making things that's basically a not very good mandolin and a thing like a slide carousel you stand the potato slices in, and find they come out quite nice with just a bit of salt, msg and onion powder.

They musn't absorb all the microwaves though as running it full pelt for nearly 20 minutes causes the thing to blow a thermal trip once the fans have stopped so I have to run it for 5 minutes on low power with a cup of water in it to cool down afterwards.

Replies From View

Quote from: Malcy on February 20, 2021, 02:32:11 PM
I had a packet of Discos the other day with so much powder in the corner it reminded me of the sachets of powder you used to get inside them.

Good to have those Salt & Vinegar and Prawn Cocktail Quavers back.

I had a snickers the other day that was so heaving with blood and ants that I was reminded of un chien andalou

Shoulders?-Stomach!


turnstyle

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on February 20, 2021, 02:53:44 PM
Googled discos to remind myself what they were, and found this gem of a blog post:

https://arcticterntalk.org/2017/05/13/how-many-crisps-in-a-packet-not-many-it-seems-twelve-to-be-precise-discos/

Edit: and before you try and be clever he's already thought of it, mate, so don't even fucking bother.

If there's one thing in life I've come to appreciate in old age, it's url-that-tells-the-whole-story-without-needing-to-click-on-the-link-discos/

buzby

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on February 20, 2021, 02:53:44 PM
Googled discos to remind myself what they were, and found this gem of a blog post:

https://arcticterntalk.org/2017/05/13/how-many-crisps-in-a-packet-not-many-it-seems-twelve-to-be-precise-discos/

Edit: and before you try and be clever he's already thought of it, mate, so don't even fucking bother.
He's wrong though. Multipack packets are smaller/lighter than retail packets so it definitely does matter. In the case of Discos, his mutipack packet was 28g and contained 12 crisps. A retail packet of Discos is 35g and so should contain approximately 15 crisps.

The real issue is why he was eating Discos.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

QuoteThe real issue is why he was eating Discos

The ace sharp vinegary powder that collects in the curves of the discs and in the bottom of the bag.



Shoulders?-Stomach!



If you are missing Brannigans I recommend Mackies whose crisps are cut and flavoured in quite a similar way. The individual flavours on offer are different of course but Pickled Onion flavour is one that is ridiculously tasty and sharp.

I found that currently Home Bargains are stocking these for something like 0.00000001 of a quid.

Bazooka

Yeah Aldi sell them, well I bought some Aberdeen Angus ones, I say ones because to use the term 'flavour' would be incorrect as they had no trace of flavourings, plain crisps in a brown bag?  Sort your bloody act out Mackies. I will give credit to texture, a very wholesome and sturdy slice of a crisp, but they should be sanctioned for the complete void of flavourings.

Tomato was the only other flavour on sale, and well I have too much self respect to buy that filth, although they are probably just plain flavour in a red packet which makes sense for crisp rules.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Disappointed to read that as I was poised to explore the other flavours. Suffice to say, the pickled onion article above is pretty sharp and pickley.