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Cricket 2021: Paedoph with the England test team

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, August 06, 2021, 04:19:57 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Anyway, not the start we needed so barring something special this is over.

Pranet

Gloucestershire's remaining games in the one day cup cancelled because most of the squad isolating.

Chedney Honks

Will be a deserved draw if this rain carries on. Well played both sides. MOTM Rooty lad. We go again.

Thursday

Extremely funny to think of India looking outside grimly right now thinking "fucking English weather"

Thursday


Thursday

Match Drawn.

Disappointing. India must be very relieved.

Not a single run for Kohli. Questions must be asked.

king_tubby

Hales getting consecutive pod bursters amused me in tonight's XTREME 100.

poo


Shoulders?-Stomach!

So that's 2 of the last 3 tests where rain has saved us from losing, the other one being a loss.

Inspector Norse

This stat's been going round a lot:

Joe Root in 2021: 1,064 runs
Next best for England: 354 runs

Which, you know, Jesus.

Chedney Honks

I wouldn't have been surprised if that was the combined total.

mikeyg27

Why don't we just field Joe Root, a wicketkeeper and 9 bowlers? It's probably going to amount to the same run total anyway, but with the added bonus of attacking options.

jobotic

Quote from: king_tubby on August 08, 2021, 10:30:30 PM
Hales getting consecutive pod bursters amused me in tonight's XTREME 100.

You can watch it here if it's your bag

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/cricket/58139504

Is there really a graphic of OUCH?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: mikeyg27 on August 09, 2021, 12:01:12 PM
Why don't we just field Joe Root, a wicketkeeper and 9 bowlers? It's probably going to amount to the same run total anyway, but with the added bonus of attacking options.

That is basically what Ed Smith was doing.

iamcoop

Quote from: jobotic on August 09, 2021, 12:02:12 PM
You can watch it here if it's your bag

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/cricket/58139504

Is there really a graphic of OUCH?

I wonder if the injury will stop him from fucking other people's wives and then Morgan will pick him again?

king_tubby

Heh, yeah, bet the commentators were biting their tongues.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

So to 'balance the side', we are going to remove a batsman by the look of things. Ali at either 6 or 7 is frankly even more frightening.

gilbertharding

Quote from: mikeyg27 on August 09, 2021, 12:01:12 PM
Why don't we just field Joe Root, a wicketkeeper and 9 bowlers? It's probably going to amount to the same run total anyway, but with the added bonus of attacking options.

Oh no! Does this mean we won't get to see Rootie's bits and pieces trundling?

mikeyg27

For real though, I'm not as familiar with the County Championship as I once was, so I don't really know what the viable alternatives are but I found that stat in the Dobrell piece before the 1st test about how 4 of England's top 7 when they became no.1 had made centuries on debut and two others had made fifties quite interesting. I do remember not being anxious about batsmen making their Test debut not even that long ago. Fuck, I can remember being actively hyped to see Pietersen, Cook, Trott etc make the leap up - is there anyone who invokes the same interest these days?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Pope but he got picked too early. Not that he's done that much since. May as well keep picking him though as he still looks likelier than the rest to make something of himself.

Sibley got a reasonable level of hype and did okish to start with.

Crawley and Lawrence were just speculation selections based on potential, rather than background performance.

Burns was just the next best opener we hadn't picked. Christ how much do people not rate you when Jennings gets selected ahead of you?

I think Jennings and Westley's picks were the sound of the barrel being scraped. At least, arguably, Crawley and Lawrence do have talent. Jennings was a genuine number 8 facing the new ball in England, scarily awful.

Of course Bopara, Shah, Patel, and Morgan didn't cut it either in the decent English side of 2002-2012, but there was that run of picking Strauss, Bell, Pietersen, Collingwood, Cook, Prior and Trott where it seemed like every new player was going to end up doing OK at worst and great at best.

sevendaughters

Hameed was picked on form and performed very well in hostile surroundings, then got injured and was mentally scarred on returning and didn't perform until recently. There is a player in there, but whether he'll deliver is another thing.

gilbertharding

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on August 10, 2021, 01:29:27 PM
Pope but he got picked too early. Not that he's done that much since. May as well keep picking him though as he still looks likelier than the rest to make something of himself.

Sibley got a reasonable level of hype and did okish to start with.

Crawley and Lawrence were just speculation selections based on potential, rather than background performance.

Burns was just the next best opener we hadn't picked. Christ how much do people not rate you when Jennings gets selected ahead of you?

I think Jennings and Westley's picks were the sound of the barrel being scraped. At least, arguably, Crawley and Lawrence do have talent. Jennings was a genuine number 8 facing the new ball in England, scarily awful.

Of course Bopara, Shah, Patel, and Morgan didn't cut it either in the decent English side of 2002-2012, but there was that run of picking Strauss, Bell, Pietersen, Collingwood, Cook, Prior and Trott where it seemed like every new player was going to end up doing OK at worst and great at best.

And you didn't even mention Nick Compton.


(I just enjoyed his wikipedia page, where it says "After retiring, Compton became a professional photographer." Mate - you retired in 2018 - it's much too early to say what you became.)

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Yeah, he looked like he had the game to succeed but tensed up and noticeably went into his shell during innings rather than letting it flow. Remember his 'How to succeed as an England batsman' article on BBC? His top insider tip was 'score lots of runs'. Cheers mate.

It all went to AIDS after Ballance's first, arguably OTT drop where management were still deluding themselves that anything averaged below 45 was totally unacceptable. These days Ballance would have to get single figure scores 2 years running to be dropped. Anyone who averages above 30 has become a certain pick, and no-one even barely looking likely to manage that once India and Australia have left our arseholes looking like black fungus wards.

mikeyg27

Given that England have won Ashes series, been ranked the #1 Test team, and won the T20 and ODI World Cups, the last thing I really have left to see is an English batsman get a triple-hundred (technically I was alive when Gooch did it, but I don't remember that at all) but these days it feels like an achievement when the team get 300+, never mind a single player.

Incidentally, looking at the list of highest scores by English batsmen since the start of 1994 (the since Windies tour that spring with Lara's 375 is the first series I really remember) is quite interesting. Some notes:

- I had completely forgotten that Crawley got close to a triple last summer!
- Cook has five of the top eight scores in that time frame.
- That's partially the reason why most of the top scores were in the 2010s
- Three English double-hundreds in the entire 1990s, which sounds about right
- Other than Cook's 294, I remember thinking that Stoke's 258 against South Africa was the biggest missed opportunity for a triple. He was in the zone that day.
- 24 England double centuries in that time. That's about par, with only India (39), Sri Lanka (34) and Australia (30) and have more in the same period (Sri Lanka's number is absurdly reliant on Sangakarra, Jayasuriya and Jayawardene) although every other Test nation has had a triple in that time except Zimbabwe, Bangladesh, Ireland and Afghanistan.

badaids


I watched Gooch's 333, but too young to really grasp it. It was the first series I ever watched so I just thought it was normal. So the 90s were a shock for me.

Stoke's 258 was the most incredible innings I've ever seen, probably by and batsman. Just brutal.  But Nasser's 207 in the first test of the 1997 Ashes was amazing too, the way he lifts his bat is just ace - it's the hope that kills you.  Might be my favorite innings by an England batsman.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Agreed on Nasser. At that time as well when English cricket was on the mat, we had 5 days of crushing a terrific Australia and it was magnificent. It still felt like we were going to revert to type immediately after and we did. Every dog has his day, and all that.

Quote- Other than Cook's 294, I remember thinking that Stoke's 258 against South Africa was the biggest missed opportunity for a triple. He was in the zone that day.

He was also being suicidally off the wall attacking. Stick Cricket bezerker. He holds the all time record for test runs in a single session for 1 batsman (130ish). In the end it was a draw, which takes the shine off the result as it was such an unfair pitch for bowlers. But to counter that... Most runs in a session ever. And that isn't even his best innings.

I still rate some of Cook's big innings similar though as the match situation and pitch made the task equally important to bat long and his endurance was as impressive as Stokes fireworks if notnas spectacular. Both grimly committed and absolutely refusing to let anyone wrestle their grip from the game. Love it! Love it!!

Chedney Honks

I remember watching Gooch's 333 in some village near Colchester. That was all the evidence I needed that England was the best country in the world and I've never really looked back.

sevendaughters

Gooch's 333 was the first game I watched. Thought it would all be like that!

mikeyg27

Quote from: mikeyg27 on August 10, 2021, 05:28:24 PM
- Three English double-hundreds in the entire 1990s, which sounds about right

To put this (my favourite stat from this bored deep-dive in StatsGuru) into context, we're one away from equalling this in the 2020s.

Also, looking at that list of scores again, if we give Crawley some leeway then Rob Key very much sticks out as the outlier. Collingwood, Ian Bell, I can understand how they'd sneak in a double (that Collingwood one was in one of the most abject capitulations of all time if I remember correctly). That's Key's only century.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Sounds too try hard but Gooch's trip was one of the earliest cricket games I remember and the fact he only seemed to get better and better at batting made me sad when he went. Then he even got rid of his moustache the anus.