Star Trek: The Next Generation Rewatch (oh god no)

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Picard getting his flute out in the Jeffries Tube

OO-ER

[Mobbd]

OO-ER

Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

The best real life analogue for the language is Darmok isn't linguistic relativism or Sapir-Whorf its: imaginative universals.

The idea is that since language requires there to be some sort of relationship between narrative and metaphor, the central term has to be identity rather than just resemblence. Children learn by imitating but there imitation isn't just mimicking or being "like" something, in their understanding they actually are the thing they're imitating even if that is just imagination or play. In order to have elaborate structures like metaphors and institutions, which work from resemblence, there is presumed bedrock of identity that is poetic or imagined more than it is literal or actual.

One of the Simpsons writers once made a comment about how many people have specifically said they loved the Citizen Kane references in the show before they knew what Citizen Kane was. That's a good example of how universal elements of narrative work in complex language - its enough to imply that there is a narrative, you don't have to know the exact story in order to understand the imaginative elements of it. So you can imagine Tamarian would have massive numbers of myths but people wouldn't have to know every single one in order to use them to communicate. It works because imagination allows universal identity to supplant specific resemblence completely - in the Simpsons it is not that Burns is like Charles Foster Kane, he is Kane for the purposes of the episode or joke: its not just an analogy or a metaphor, if it was it wouldn't work and perhaps wouldn't make as much sense to people who've never seen Citizen Kane. I think of the language in Darmok as being like that, even though it was intended as an entirely metaphorical language due to the way its human precidents worked it ended up as the inverse. If its going to work as a language, the mytheme "Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra", used in the way the characer does,  has to imply "we literally are those guys, in that place" rather than just provide a representation, it would be a language where performativity mattered more than signification, where language is more about doing practical things than communicating ideas.

Imagining how Picard would sound from the alien perspective, it would be his use of nouns and proper names that would make him unintelligible to the speaker of an almost entirely performative language.

10/10 episode, almost inexplicably good. Up there with Prisoner's Schizoid Man, and top Twilight Zone episodes.

[Lemming]

S05E03 - Ensign Ro

A problematic ex-Starfleet officer is pressured into working with the Enterprise on a critical mission.

- Picard goes to the barbers. Seriously! What's he expecting?! He has no hair! Just replicate some clippers and do it yourself!

- Oh no, Bajorans! A bunch of them have formed a terrorist group and decided to cause trouble. Fun fact: it took me like ten minutes to realise that the occupation of Bajor is actually underway during this episode. For some reason, I mis-remembered DS9 as implying that it ended before this point, so I was well confused.

- Some Admiral orders Prickard to capture the terrorist leader, Orta, and put a stop to his actions. In exchange, the Federation will swing their diplomatic cock around a bit with the Cardies.

- Ro Laren's coming aboard, by the Admiral's request. She fucked up so badly in the past that Picard and Riker both know her by name. Picard has a tantrum and refuses to work with her, but the Admiral tells him she's coming aboard anyway. She's been sent specially from prison.

- Fantastic Riker moment: he immediately snaps at Ro about three seconds after she beams aboard, demands that she remove her earring. I know that, as of this episode, it's just an earring and its religious importance hasn't been established, but I still got a great laugh out of this scene. Riker made to look retroactively like a big twat by all of DS9.

- Riker's in a proper mood now and goes from snarling at Ro to yelling at Picard. He intends to demand THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF PERFORMANCE from Ro. Ro arrives and immediately schools Picard on Bajoran name ordering.

- Picard and Riker decide to try and intimidate her, which backfires when she replies that she doesn't want to be here any more than they want her to be here. She accepted in exchange for being released from prison.

- This sparks another tantrum.


- I really like this scene because Picard genuinely has no idea what to say when Ro tells him to fuck off. It's been established in a few previous episodes that he has a hard time dealing with social situations in which he doesn't have his authority and role as captain to use as a frame of reference. Ro doesn't recognise his authority and doesn't care about Starfleet ideology, so what can he do? The answer is to sit there looking shellshocked, which is done through a great bit of MICRO-ACTING from Patrick Stewart.

- Everyone knows everyone, so Bev knows the Bajoran community leader we're going to see. Ro says this mission is a shit waste of time and that it'll end in bloodshed no matter what. Worf gets all excited. Ro gives them a better person to speak with than Bev's best mate, so they go to check him out.

- Picard meets KEEVE FALOR and uses Ro's Bajoran name tips to immediately gain kudos. KEEVE FALOR tells them that he's not gonna help them because the Prime Directive meant that the Fed ignored the crimes being committed against the Bajorans for decades. Picard offers immediate humanitarian aid and future diplomatic aid, and eventually he agrees to help.

- Troi and Bev show up in Ten Forward later to befriend Ro, but are DEFLECTED BY RUDENESS. Across the room, Geordi goes off on one about how much Ro sucks, which prompts Guinan to go and talk to her.

GEORDI: I'll tell you one thing. If I find myself on an away team with Ensign Ro, I won't turn my back on her.
GUINAN: Perhaps the Captain thought she'd be valuable on the mission?
GEORDI: That was orders. Had to be. She doesn't belong here. She doesn't even belong in the uniform, as far as I'm concerned.
GUINAN: Really?
GEORDI: Really.
GUINAN: Sounds like someone I'd like to know. Excuse me.

Taking this dialogue as tacit acknowledgement that the main cast are boring losers and that the much more interesting side characters are where it's at.

- Guinan gives Ro the full GUINAN TREATMENT, getting absolutely stuck the fuck in to her business. Luckily, Ro finds Guinan's weird riddle-talk endearing, and they become Pals. I can't help but read this scene as borderline-flirtatious, Guinan's even more overbearing than usual.

- Ro goes back to her quarters and opens a channel to ADMIRAL MAN. Oh my god she's part of a secret Starfleet plot!!!!

- Laughed at Riker walking into the transporter room and saying "WE'RE ON A TIMETABLE HERE", plus his useless "what the HELL is going on" when he's told Ro beamed down earlier. Almost everything he says is funny to me at this point, it's that weird gormless, permanently-exasperated half-yell that Frakes delivers every line in. Doubly funny because he's not even in the away team, he just came along to remind everyone that WE'RE ON A TIMETABLE HERE.

- The entire away team gets captured. Data, Troi, Worf, Picard, all taken captive by a bunch of cave-dwellers. Hilarious. The leader, Orta, apologises for being ugly and sounding weird. Ro's already down here and has been trying to prime the terrorists for negotiation with Picard, who's doing a terrible job of it by getting moody with Ro when Orta is standing right there.

- Orta says that the terrorist attack was a false flag. I love how they walk all the way back to the bridge arguing about whether or not he was lying, and nobody even asks Troi, who can sense if people are lying. She has to bring it up herself, and only does so after the argument's been presumably going on all the way from the transporter room.

- Picard's pissy at Ro for her unauthorised beam-out and confines her to quarters. Guinan shows up and sits opposite her and stares at her for a bit. Ro tells her that she has SECRET INFO about what's really going on with the mission, but she can't share it with anyone because nobody's trustworthy. Guinan tells her to go talk to Picard, but goes with her, because the only way to get Picard to listen to your concerns is to be best mates with Guinan (see also: I, Borg). Ro explains that she's on a Secret Mission from ADMIRAL MAN, without Starfleet's authorisation. ADMIRAL MAN was going to supply the Bajoran terrorists with weapons and ships to fight the Cardies.

- When Ro was seven, she was given candy by a Cardassian! Hooray! Then she watched her father get tortured and killed, so the candy was a mixed blessing. The point is: Bajorans are shit and Ro wants them to be less shit, which is why she supports the admiral's plan.

- Ro comes up with a plan of her own: go along with the original orders, except instead of bringing Orta to the camps, they'll bring a decoy ship. Two Cardassian ships show up and demand that the ship be handed over. Picard calls Admiral Man, who orders him to agree to the Cardies' demands. Picard reveals that he knows the conspiracy - the Admiral planned all this to expose the terrorists, so that the Cardies could kill him, satisfying the Fed and the Cardies' mutual interest in stopping the terror attacks.

- Picard obeys the order to withdraw and the Cardassians destroy the decoy ship. Admiral Man is informed of the deception, and gets pissed off that Ro's anti-conspiracy plan was such a runaway success. Picard reveals to the admiral that the attack on the Federation was (probably) a false flag by the Cardassians.

- Later, Ro and Picard go down to walk around the Bajoran colony and have a good chortle at the idea of the admiral being sent to jail. Picard offers her a place on the crew, which she accepts, as long as she can wear her earring.

There's something odd about TNG - a lot of my favourite episodes are told from the perspective of someone outside the bridge crew. Here, the audience is mostly primed to take Ro's perspective, with the regular cast acting initially in an almost antagonistic role, before eventually coming to trust her and let her save the day with her masterplan. But at all times, we're on her side - Riker's laughably unreasonable to her at all times, Geordi's being a prat in the bar, we find out about the conspiracy before Picard does because we're following Ro's perspective, etc.

Made a joke about it in the review up there, but Guinan basically says it herself: the main crew are stuffy fools in uniforms. They work perfectly when the episode revolves around an external problem-of-the-week to solve, and they can professionally plod along putting the pieces together (eg The Survivors), but for anything character-driven (eg this episode and stuff like Half a Life, The Bonding, The Defector), the main crew work best as dull jobsworths for other more engaging characters to brush up against, which is kind of a fascinating foundation for a long-running TV series.

Now we get Ro, who is a great character and makes more of an impression in 45 minutes than half the regular characters (Bev!!!) have made in four seasons. The decision to add her as a recurring crewmember from this point on is an excellent one. The episode itself is strong as well - the way the conspiracy unfolds is fun to watch, and Ro is a good enough character (and Forbes a good enough actor) to sustain the whole episode. There's not really much to think about or get into, because everything that happens is pretty unambiguous, but it's a nice political thriller kind of thing propelled by an interesting central character. She even manages to bring out something in some of the regular cast she interacts with - watching Picard realise his authority is illusory and that he can't intimidate Ro into line is great[nb]which we could have had a lot more of if Riker had been switched for Shelby...[/nb], and Riker's manic behaviour is an endless source of mirth. I remember she has some great stuff with O'Brien and Troi coming up soon too. 8/10



BONUS FUN FACT: Patrick Stewart apparently tried to play it as if Picard was attracted to Ro. I didn't get a sense of that at all while watching it! He comes across like he's vaguely intimidated by her, at best.

[MojoJojo]

You're blaming a few things on the Prime Directive that aren't prime directive things. The federation didn't help the Bajorans more because they didn't want to start a war with Cardassia.

Random thing I read yesterday - Nana Visitor thought that being angry all the time was a Bajoran characteristic. It hadn't occurred to me that Kira Nerys role was basically a replacement for Ro*, down to the knowing absolutely every one in the Bajoran resistance.

It feels the script was a bit unfair towards the crew - they're all jerks to Ro, but the reasons for this are kept vague. She is blamed for 8 people dying, but without any detail, and the worst she actually does in the episode is beam down early. She gets to play the bad girl without actually doing anything bad.

In a similar way, the colony that gets destroyed feels a bit ignored. Shouldn't it be a big deal? I dunno, colonies getting destroyed seems to be season 5 theme.

But yeah, good episode. It's nice that plot made sense and didn't require anyone to act like a moron, and it was resolved by Geordi mouthing some techno babble. Ro interacts well with the rest of the crew. It's true they're stuffed shirts - I understand that they're supposed to be background to whatever they're encountering, but it can be done in a more entertaining way - TOS did, for example.

If I'm not mistaken there hasn't been a Ensign Ro reference in Lower Decks? I suspect their holding out for a guest appearance.

BONUS FUN FACT: Patrick Stewart apparently tried to play it as if Picard was attracted to Ro. I didn't get a sense of that at all while watching it! He comes across like he's vaguely intimidated by her, at best.

I think you can see a bit of it when they first meet and Ro does her bit about how Bajoran names works. He's strangely differential to this crew member who gets people killed.

, the Federation will swing their diplomatic cock around a bit with the Cardies.

Cancelled!

(* a quick glance at the character wiki page confirms this was the case)

[daf]

102 | "Ensign Ro"



Hatty Wainthrop Investigates

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Highlights :
• Babbling Blue Bonce Bolian Barber
• The Ear-ring Sketch
• Ground Control to Bajor Bomb
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Other Bits :
• Kennerly's Cardassian Cold Clue
• Auntie Picard's Ginger Tea Remedy
• Ol' Melty Face
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Score :

[The Culture Bunker]

Can't say I ever picked up any UST vibes from Picard towards Ro - Riker being a surly tosser towards her gives me that impression much more. I may well be misremembering, but I think there's one or two allusions in future episodes that he has the hots for her.

[Blumf]

Was Stewart just trying to game a romance plot with Michelle Forbes?

I mean, can't blame a guy for trying.

[daf]

oops - ignore that!

(pressed post instead of preview)

[Mr Trumpet]

Was Stewart just trying to game a romance plot with Michelle Forbes?

I mean, can't blame a guy for trying.

She does bear a certain resemblence to his current wife, it must be said. Maybe he has a type.

[Lemming]

S05E04 - Silicon Avatar

The Crystalline Entity returns!

- An idyllic Federation colony! According to tradition, it should be razed to the ground in about thirty seconds.

- Riker and one of the colonists get up to an unbelievably lifeless bit of flirting. The crystalline entity shows up to ruin it, and everyone starts running for some underground caverns, but Riker's date is vaporised by the entity's BASTARD RAY.

- Riker seals off the cave entrance. I'm not trying to pick on him again, but WHY. He asks Data how protected they are, Data says the metal in the cave walls may act as a sufficient barrier, and then Riker seals everyone in. Does the BASTARD RAY emit radiation that could seep through? It's not like the crystalline entity itself is going to fit through the hole. Anyway, he's stranded everyone. It's only after he's already carried out his wizzo spur-of-the-moment plan that Bev points out they might die of suffocation if there's no air source available.

- A bit later, everyone's dying of overheating and suffocation. Riker re-affirms that unsealing the entrance would mean death if the entity were still out there, so I guess the BASTARD RAY would travel through the cave entrance somehow? Anyway, the panic-party is ended because Worf has arrived and shoves through the entrance to rescue the colonists and the away team. They emerge to see that the entire colony is now a wasteland.

- Doctor KILA MARR comes aboard, a specialist in the crystalline entity. Apparently the entity has attacked 11 times before, resulting in planetary destruction with no survivors every time! Fuck! The doctor is initially suspicious of Data, since Lore was responsible for a previous entity attack.

- Marr has a go at Data, during which she informs him that her son was killed by the entity. They become fast friends shortly, however, when Data shares some of her son's journals with her, which were downloaded into his neural net.

- She comes up with a photon torpedo configuration that can destroy the entity. Picard says that he hopes not to kill the entity, but to talk to it. He drags her into his ready room to do another one of his trademark self-congratulatory speeches, and says he intends to talk to the entity and find it an alternate source of power, so that it can stop attacking inhabited worlds. Picard compares it to a sperm whale, feeding on krill.

- Now hang on a fucking minute there. Remember Datalore? Lore speaks to the entity verbally, in English. He says that it felt "gratitude" when he directed it to kill the colonists. He warned it off attacking the Enterprise because "the humans here are powerful, capable of injuring or even destroying you". There's every indication that the entity knows exactly what it's doing. It even collaborated with Lore to trick the Enterprise into lowering its shields, and fled when Lore was dispatched. Unless Lore completely misled it, which there's no indication of, and unless it thinks that krill can build starships capable of warp flight. There's no basis in "Datalore" at all, as far as I can tell, to assume the entity is equivalent to a sperm whale.

- Also, are we sure we can destroy it? Marr has new torpedoes which she reckons will work, I guess. The episode has gone to great pains to make Picard's position here totally unassailable - we're meant to forget everything established about the entity and assume it's a benevolent space-whale, even though that isn't what it was in the previous episode. We're told that it can't hurt the ship, and led to assume that the torpedoes cannot fail. There's literally no reason at all not to attempt communication under these circumstances, because there's no threat to not doing so. It can't hurt us and it can't get away from us. Welcome to another edition of "Picard is unambiguously in the right due to script contortions"!

- Marr has a fun time chatting about DEAD SON with Data. Meanwhile, a random transport ship is chased and destroyed by the entity. It continues on its mad genocide path, while the Enterprise cruises casually towards it.

- After hearing the crew of the transport ship being burned alive, Marr thinks about what her son's final moments may have been like. Data looks concerned. Meanwhile, Riker tells Picard that he agrees with Marr's plan to fire on the entity, on the basis that it's killed thousands of people and will kill more if the mission fails. Picard says that he's just mad that his girlfriend got vaporised. For the first time in his life, Riker stands up for himself and tells Picard to piss off, which is very justified IMO, because holy shit, the absolute rudeness of Picard just there. Riker also tries to argue Marr's case by saying that trying to communicate with the entity could waste time during which it may escape, but again, I feel like the script has already wriggled itself into a position where there's no reason to think that's true. The entity can't harm the ship, can be pursued endlessly, and can (apparently) be killed the instant we decide to do so, so Picard's view is rendered unassailable. Still, at least the script tries to balance it out by having a regular character who we like put the opposing view forward. Well, a character some of us like. Maybe. You know what I mean.

- Marr really unloads a lot of emotional stuff on Data, going on and on about DEAD SON. Data is able to replicate her son's voice, which really hits her in the heart.

- Later, everyone's ready to rock. The entity is lured in successfully, and Picard becomes immeasurably erect at the sight of it. "REMARKABLE," he enthuses, eyebrow cocked. They send a bunch of bloops at it, and it bloops back. "Then it's possible... communication! Understanding," Picard beams, forgetting that Lore spoke with it in English. Marr, who is controlling the process, decides to turn up the volume. The entity starts writhing in pain but the Marr train has no brakes and she ramps that fucker up to 11. The entity starts to go all fucky and explodes. Hilarious!

- Marr is pleased that the entity cannot continue its homicidal spree across space. She's also happy that her son will live as long as Data does. However, she asks him if her son would be proud of her, and Data's like, "probably not".

Ehhhhh. Not gonna mention the seeming retcon of the nature of the entity again because who gives enough of a shit about fucking Datalore to care. Not gonna knock the episode's rating down for that, even though it did wind me up. You could just about argue that it fits together, if the entity is borderline-mindless and not capable of any kind of basic reasoning (though apparently still intelligent enough to understand English and understand how to strike when the Enterprise lowers its deflector shields).

As stated, I don't like that Picard's position is objectively right, and I'd argue the episode suffers as a result. There's no risk at all in attempting to communicate with the entity. If only the episode had established that there was some kind of risk involved - maybe it could have been suggested that the entity might have destroyed the Enterprise, and then been free to continue unopposed, or something like that. Instead, Picard's just right. There's no reason given at any point not to hold off on attacking the entity. Riker suggests the existence of a risk which isn't really backed up by anything we know about the situation, and Picard tries to rubbish his input anyway by suggesting that Riker's just out for revenge.

It's really a story about Marr, but she's kind of confusing. She switches from being initially comically unreasonable to being overly weepy and sentimental, and then goes batshit at the end. Her actions at the end are pretty unambiguously wrong, given how the whole situation was set up. Again, if Marr and Riker had actually had a point, and it hadn't been so black-and-white, maybe it'd be a lot easier to either take her side or at least understand it better, and the episode would be a lot more nuanced and rich as a result. I get that the moral of the episode is "ahhh look she was out to avenge her son but he'd be horrified by what happened", but it wouldn't have hurt to make the argument to destroy the entity more grounded in some kind of reasonable logic.

Speaking of which, I found the ending scene uproariously funny, not sure why. "You did it all for your dead son? Hm, well, my predictive capabilities suggest he'd be REALLY UPSET by all this." Just a bit too on the nose. 4/10, maybe closer to 3/10 but let's be generous.



Why's it called "Silicon Avatar", by the way? I guess because Marr treats Data as a silicon avatar of DEAD SON? Only thing I can come up with.

[MojoJojo]

).
As stated, I don't like that Picard's position is objectively right,

Eh, objectively right or not, looking at the world today, suggesting that you try and talk to something instead of just killing it still seems like a novel position. Especially in the US, especially in a US TV programme.

I'd completely forgotten Datalore so none of that bothered me.

[kalowski]

Lemming, I am loving your write ups. I'm a few episodes ahead of you at the moment and it's a pleasure to read what you write about each episode. (And daf, of course.)

[daf]

103 | "Silicon Avatar"



Crystal Rips and All Despair

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Highlights :
• Riker's Dessert Sex Denied
• Crystal's Desert Death Applied
• Doctor's Data Guilt Implied
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Other Bits :
• Colony Cave Cowering
• Crystal Communication Collaboration
• Snowflake Shattering Signal
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Score :

[kalowski]

Crystal Rips and All Despair

Very good.

[Blumf]

It's a good idea for a story, but so badly executed. Lemming has it bang to rights.

I really hated the idea that Data has intimate information of a load of random people in him memory (and that, if he must have it, it's never used again)

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Once again, talking to the Entity is what Picard would do. Generally speaking, characters behaving in character is a good thing.

[Lemming]

Once again, talking to the Entity is what Picard would do. Generally speaking, characters behaving in character is a good thing.

It's in character for Picard for sure, my complaint isn't about the way he's written. It's that the script engineers the situation to make Picard's viewpoint more or less objectively correct and the opposing view is made very weak by comparison, and is presented by two people (Marr and Riker) who we're told are emotionally compromised anyway. I feel like in this particular script it would have been better to have both the "let's talk" and "let's attack" arguments be given equal weight and equal in-universe justification, since the episode spends quite a bit of time on characters arguing over it.

Eh, objectively right or not, looking at the world today, suggesting that you try and talk to something instead of just killing it still seems like a novel position. Especially in the US, especially in a US TV programme.

I'd completely forgotten Datalore so none of that bothered me.

I like a good old "nonviolence is the way" story, but I think it's done better in episodes like TOS' "Arena" and "The Devil In The Dark", where the pacifistic solution isn't immediately the obvious one, and Kirk initially argues for violence in both cases before realising there's a better alternative. "Darmok" too, where the situation isn't clear-cut at first and the peaceful solution takes some time and effort to reach. This felt to me like it's having a character say what we want to hear - that nonviolence is the best solution - and then quickly making it clear that this position is definitely true.  Which is sort of why I had trouble connecting with the episode, I guess - the debate about what to do when they meet the entity is given quite a bit of screentime but, for the audience, is basically over before it even starts, so that just leaves the Marr plot.

[mothman]

If the non-violence option was genuinely viable, is it undermined by the CE as intro'd in "DataLore" being very different? Could it just be hand-waved away as Lorr telling fibs?

[Lemming]

S05E05 - Disaster

The Enterprise is disabled, and the crew are scattered across the ship.

- Keiko's pregnant with Molly! Keiko and O'Brien* demonstrate their loving married relationship by having a dispute over the baby's name. It's literally hours from being born.

*_{yes, I will forever insist on referring to Miles exclusively as "O'Brien", even though Keiko's name is also "O'Brien"}

- Bev and Geordi are hanging out in the Deathtrap Hell Room, a room full of toxic shit. Meanwhile, some little kids who won a competition come aboard and get stuck with Picard all day.

- The entire ship gets fucked by a negative space fuck-field. A crewmember is killed when the navigation station explodes in her face. Weird choice, since this is sort of a comedy-focused episode from this point on. Reminds me of DS9's "Civil Defence" where you're laughing it up and having a good time and then a guy gets violently killed by a laser beam.

- STRANDED:
Picard and hysterical, screaming kids in turbolift
Troi, O'Brien and Unnamed Man on bridge
Bev and Geordi in Deathtrap Hell Room
Everyone else in Ten Forward

- Picard decides to calm the kids by yelling at them, while O'Brien impotently sends out useless distress calls. Luckily, Ro was Die Harding her way up a turbolift shaft, and climbs up to the bridge. They confirm some life signs across the ship, proving that other people are alive, but the scan is incomplete. Troi senses that a lot of people are still alive. Since the console killed the senior officer, Troi is now acting captain of the Enterprise. She absolutely shits herself on being informed of this.

- In Ten Forward, Riker cheers everyone up by suggesting that everyone on the bridge may be dead, and that the ship is now probably aimlessly drifting. While he and Data prepare to go crawling around in the Jeffries tubes, Bev and Geordi start to use adventure game logic to escape the Deathtrap Hell Rooom. Because it's the Deathtrap Hell Room, the wall explodes and starts leaking toxic shite into the room, which Bev estimates will shortly be fatal. This isn't a problem, because there are explosive containers which will explode and destroy the room long before the radiation itself kills them.

- Picard calms down the kids by assigning them ranks. His new FIRST OFFICER is some kid called Marissa, his SCIENCE OFFICER is some weird kid called Jay, and the other kid becomes EXECUTIVE OFFICER OF RADISHES. I really like this scene - been saying it a lot, but one of the consistent character traits Picard has is that he can only deal with situations in which there's some kind of hierarchy of authority in place, so this is a wonderfully in-character way for him to calm the kids down and frame the situation in terms he can work with.

- Bev and Geordi frantically drag the explosive barrels away from the radiation fire. Back on the bridge, O'Brien tries to explain what a "quantum filament" is to Troi, who doesn't get it, and neither do I. O'Brien gets into a mood when Ro starts dicking about with the power settings to shift power around the ship and power up the bridge console. "B-BUT THAT'S A COMPLETELY IMRPOPER PROCEDURE!" Ro uses the COMPLETELY IMRPOPERly powered console to check out the warp core, which she determines is going to explode, destroying the entire ship. Troi doesn't know what a containment breach is (don't worry, me neither), but she realises that the ship blowing up would be bad.

- Riker and Data are cut off by a menacing field of electricity. Data has a plan: let it fry him, and then have Riker unscrew his head and carry him to Engineering. This scene is fucking great, but I have an obvious question - Data stepping into the field is considered extremely risky, potentially fatal. Why can't Riker remove Data's head first and then just throw his decaptiated body into the field?

- Riker adds Data's Head to his inventory and heads off to Engineering. Meanwhile, Picard screams in pain as one of the kids puts weight onto his fucked leg as he climbs atop the turbolift. Turns out the lift will soon detach from the clamps and fall down the shaft. Picard entrusts the best First Officer he's ever had, Marissa, with leading the other kids to safety before the fatal lift collapse. Picard himself insists on being left behind due to FUCKED LEG, but the kids mutiny and insist on rescuing him.

- Bev and Geordi realise that getting exhausted moving the explosive barrels around was a stupid waste of precious time. They decide that venting the Deathtrap Hell Room is the only way, as it'd suck all the barrels into space and also put out the radiation fire. They reckon they'll survive explosive decompression if they hold onto a flimsy prop ladder that starts visibly shaking when Gates McFadden grabs it to prove how sturdy it is.

- Worf is absolutely fucking loving being an emergency nurse in Ten Forward, until Keiko goes into labour.

KEIKO: I'm going into labour.
WORF: ...You cannot. This is not a good time, Keiko.

- Troi's getting the full captain experience by holding a briefing in the meeting room, except this one's actually interesting. Ro insists that SAUCER SEP must happen now, before the warp core explodes, as it's the only way to save the lives of everyone in the saucer section, and there's no proof that anyone's alive in the drive section. O'Brien argues that they should risk destruction if it means a chance to save anyone trapped in the drive section. Troi decides to redirect power from the bridge to Engineering so that anyone who reaches it will have the opportuntiy to stop the warp breach. Ro objects, and Troi gets a chance to swing her new Big Acting Captain Dick around by reasserting her command decision.

- While Picard and the kids clamber up the turbolift shaft, Keiko starts giving birth while Worf substantially raises his HONOUR LEVEL by being a midwife.

-

KEIKO: Worf, have you ever done this before? Delivered a baby?
WORF: YES. ...no.

- Bev explains that this is going to suck, and that as soon as the door opens, their blood vessels will start bursting, they'll start freezing, then they'll collapse, giving them about ten seconds to get from the world's flimsiest ladder to the console to seal the doors. Look at this! Geordi just gets instantly fucking wiped out! He barely even tried! Thank god Bev was there!


- The warp core almost breaches, and Ro gets pissed at Troi for Fookin' Aboot and not separating the saucer soon enough. Troi holds her ground and insists that SAUCER SEP will only happen when she gives the order. Meanwhile, Riker connects Data's head to the computer, which allows him to open doors and things. Troi's vindicated as the Engineering computers are powered up, allowing Data (after Riker accidentally shuts down half of his facial muscles) to avert the core breach.

- Ro absolutely eats shit back on the bridge and admits she was well wrong and nearly got everyone killed. Looking good for CAPTAIN TROI.

- "You may now give birth."

- With everything fixed and everything back to normal (except for Bridge Console Officer, who died), everyone's laughing it up and making some great jokes about the disaster that nearly killed all of them. Picard receives a commemorative plaque from the kids, and meets the newborn Molly.

This is just fantastic, pretty much all the different plot threads come off perfectly. Troi's plot gives her a chance to take command and assert herself (which makes her feel a little closer to season one Troi rather than the SAD WIMP she's been recently), and it also acts as a good first proper outing for Ro, who's great when paired with O'Brien. The Riker plot and the Worf plot are both basically comedy, and they work fantastically - every scene Worf gets with Keiko is ace, and the visual of Data's severed head wired up to the door console is unforgettable. Picard's plot is a success too, for the reasons above - it's a nice little story about him falling back on his command and authority as usual (to great success initially), but then being saved when the kids refuse to obey him and insist on rescuing him instead. The Bev and Geordi plot is just funny, from the utterly incredible levels of danger in that one room, to Bev's absurdly calm, laconic explanation of how badly decompression is going to hurt, to Geordi's insta-collapse.

Everyone's in character too, in the best possible way - for example, Worf is often best used as comedy IMO, and Dorn and Chao do outstanding stuff in the birth plot, as Worf's dourness starts to fade into barely-veiled excitement at the HONOUR of being a midwife. I also love the Riker and Data plot here, because it relies on Riker's gormlessness and Data's power of understatement. Riker's function is essentially just a vessel to carry Data to Engineering so that Data can save the ship while Riker stands there, and he still has a mini-fuckup when he hits the wrong part of Data's brain, which is surely a top ten Riker moment.

You can pick holes though parts of it - the most obvious one being that there's somehow nobody at all in Engineering when the ship gets fucked, and nobody else is trying to reach it other than Riker and Data - but it's too much of a success to hyper-focus on stuff like that. It's a great episode and makes perfect use of the show's stronger characters to lift up some of the weaker ones.

Speaking of which, perhaps there were some better team-ups that could have been done here - Bev and Geordi's plot is fun but they don't really work that well together, and I'd argue they're two of the weaker characters in general, which might be why their plot feels the limpest. Maybe if Whoopi had been available there could have been some Guinan involvement there to strengthen it a little, who knows. Still a fun mini-plot though, something about Bev's total nonchalance in the face of an absolute nightmare scenario really makes me laugh.

But still, one of the best episodes as it stands. 10/10

[Wonderful Butternut]

My headcanon is that the Engineering Team, after running around bumping into each other in a blind panic for a few minutes cos Geordi isn't there to tell them what to do, all crawled off into Jefferies tubes to try and reconnect the power. Maybe electro bastard rays took care of them. As you say it doesn't detract from the episode much anyway.

If Guinan had been in Ten Forward she'd have probably painlessly magicked the baby out of Keiko using the sheer power of her hat.

[Lemming]

If Guinan had been in Ten Forward she'd have probably painlessly magicked the baby out of Keiko using the sheer power of her hat.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Why can't Riker remove Data's head first and then just throw his decaptiated body into the field?

I can answer this - Data's heavy. He weighs about 100kg, assuming I read that somewhere and didn't hallucinate it. Take his head off and you've still got +90kg of what's now dead weight. Riker'd have to shove/drag it and get dangerously close to the field in the process. Then both Riker and most of Data are fried and Data's just a head sitting there while the ship explodes.

[daf]

104 | "Disaster"



Call The Mid-Worf

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Highlights :
• The Gilbert O'Sullivan Sketch
• Electric Blue : Data Gives Head to Riker
• The Ro-Brien Troiangle
• Emergency Radish Officer
• Geordi & Crusher's Space Suck-off
• Keiko's Dilating Tuppence Monitor
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Other Bits :
• 3D Chess #8 : Game abandoned due to freak Space-quake
• Ten Morgue-Ward
• Whimpering Science Sprogs
• The Hot Wall Mystery
• The Climbing Ding-Dang-Dong Song
• The Two Number 1's Winker's Sketch
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Score :

[samadriel]

- STRANDED:
Picard and hysterical, screaming kids in turbolift
Troi, O'Brien and Unnamed Man on bridge
Bev and Geordi in Deathtrap Hell Room
Everyone else in Ten Forward

Weird poem, Lemming.

[The Culture Bunker]

I agree that Worf is the highlight of the episode. I mentioned on the DS9 thread, I think, that there's a callback to his midwife episode when Mrs O'Brien gets pregnant again, and Dorn really sells Worf's reaction of terror at the prospect of history repeating.

Random aside: the young actress who plays the girl trapped with Picard (quick Google: Erika Flores) also appeared in one of my favourite "so shit, it's brilliant" bits of TV - a feature length pilot called 'The Owl'. This starred Adrian Paul (yer man from the Highlander TV show) as a cheapo Punisher rip-off who prowls the streets at night taking down wrong 'uns while hunting for those who murdered his family after he fucked off the wrong people in his cop days.

[Malcy]

I mentioned on the DS9 thread, I think, that there's a callback to his midwife episode when Mrs O'Brien gets pregnant again, and Dorn really sells Worf's reaction of terror at the prospect of history repeating.

A brilliant part of DS9

Bashir - "Worf! Did you hear? Keiko is having another baby.

Worf in a panic - "NOW"?!?!?!

Bashir has a look of near disbelief on his face when O'Brien explains that he delivered Molly. Superb.

Edit - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYU1cFxaXj8

[Malcy]

Call The Mid-Worf

Excellent.

[MojoJojo]

I like that each character is forced out of their comfort zone into a situation its been previously established they struggle with:

Picard:dealing with children
Troi:taking command
Beverley and LaForge:existing without oxygen
Riker:decapitating fellow bridge officers

It's good, but I'm surprised Lemming rates it so highly because it's very light. None of the characters are really challenged. The closest we get is Picard shouting at the kids and Troi being a bit indecisive.

(sidenote: Ro's pretty out of character here. The idea that she would let herself and others die because a Councillor who is technically in charge but isn't really qualified is the exact opposite of what we've been told she is.)

The Worf stuff is pretty great though.

[Lemming]

It's good, but I'm surprised Lemming rates it so highly because it's very light. None of the characters are really challenged. The closest we get is Picard shouting at the kids and Troi being a bit indecisive.

I think I was just relieved to see an episode where the cast were put to good use! More could definitely have been done to bring some extra character out of them but Picard's plot has a nice little arc. The Troi stuff does feel a little bit more thinly sketched than it ought to be - good point about Ro caving in to Troi too easily, and there should have been a more in-depth exploration of Troi's mindset and thinking when she gained the strength to assert herself against Ro - but it mostly works, in large part thanks to the arguing between Ro and O'Brien coming off so well.

The Bev/Geordi stuff is incredibly slight and lacking any kind of depth but every scene with them really appealed to me for some unknown reason, it's such an odd teamup with no chemistry and the situation they're in is so credibility-strainingly unlucky as to make the entire thing hysterical. You can almost see the thinking behind it - "all the characters have been assigned their plots, but we've got two left over. Fine, just shove them in a deathtrap, and cut back to them whenever we've got a spare minute."

I think it's a case of the episode meeting its own targets - it sets out to be a half-comedic, half-tense episode about characters being pushed into unusual situations/teamups, and it achieves it. It never feels like the episode's ambitions extend beyond the quality of the script, except perhaps to a small degree in Troi's plot.

The tone of the episode was perfect though, a collection of likeable characters fumbling their way through a life-or-death situation in a slightly less than professional manner. Reminded me of the style of some of Voyager's stronger moments in that regard, which I'm slowly rewatching alongside TNG and really enjoying.