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"B*lt my hat's arse!" - AMAZING things you've only just found out

Started by touchingcloth, July 01, 2021, 09:03:42 AM

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touchingcloth

The chocolate on a Magnum is too thick. I see what they were going for, but it's worse than the tissue-thin layer you get on a no-frills supermarket choc ice because it's thick enough to resist melting. You take half the bloody covering off with every bite, rather than a nice, proportionately-sized amount. Magnums also look like they were designed for insertion.

Dex Sawash


seepage

Don't eat a Magnum Classic sitting on a cream sofa, even from a deep bowl and having first wrapped the sofa in clingfilm.

olliebean

How do you sit on a cream sofa without just falling into the cream?

seepage


JesusAndYourBush

A week after eating an Aldi ersatz Magnum I found a blob of chocolate.  At the time I remember wondering where it went, but I knew I'd turn up.

seepage

Shame they didn't do a 'WWII Marine vs Aldi Shopper' episode of Deadliest Warrior

Cerys


MojoJojo

In Korea, they have a folk tale about colds. It's because the ghost of a man with two knobs has gratified himself with your nostrils. He didn't find a woman with two vagina's to marry in life, you see, so now his spirit roams the land fucking nostrils.

https://folkency.nfm.go.kr/en/topic/detail/5720

Cerys

And haven't we all found extra penises floating around in rivers?  I know I have.

shoulders

Quote from: touchingcloth on November 19, 2021, 10:21:36 PMThe chocolate on a Magnum is too thick. I see what they were going for, but it's worse than the tissue-thin layer you get on a no-frills supermarket choc ice because it's thick enough to resist melting. You take half the bloody covering off with every bite, rather than a nice, proportionately-sized amount. Magnums also look like they were designed for insertion.

The marketing has in the past made a thing out of Magnum's impracticality, likewise Cadbury Flake with the oh so suggestive finger wiping the crumb up from the sexy bunny's mouth.

My opinion: more chocolate is by default better, no matter in what way it turns into shards on impact .

Sonny_Jim

Quote from: shoulders on November 24, 2021, 04:50:43 PMsexy bunny's mouth.
That was Cadbury Caramel.  Flake was just a sexeh lady, sometimes in a bath.

Paul Calf


Mr Banlon

'Noel' 'the French word for Christmas or whatever' is pronounced 'Noe'

Cerys


boki

Quote from: Cerys on November 22, 2021, 10:41:07 AMAnd haven't we all found extra penises floating around in rivers?  I know I have.
Yes, but it's no basis for a system of government.

gilbertharding

Quote from: JesusAndYourBush on November 20, 2021, 02:45:13 PMA week after eating an Aldi ersatz Magnum I found a blob of chocolate.  At the time I remember wondering where it went, but I knew I'd turn up.

I remember as a kid being bought a Feast. You remember them - a lump of chocolate, surrounded by chocolate ice cream and wrapped in more chocolate. It was a really hot day, and we were on a car journey. Off we go in the car  - there's me in the back. Dad's driving and he has the window open. And I'm eating my Feast, being careful to avoid drips and managing quite well... except the outer chocolate shell has a small hole in the bottom, and the internal chocolate ice cream has already started to melt. The wind from the open window is catching the droplets as they fall, and effectively spraying my entire frontage from the neck down with brown flecks. I'd completely finished the Feast before I even noticed.

Mr Banlon


touchingcloth

Quote from: Paul Calf on November 25, 2021, 08:06:01 AMMike Gorbachev is still alive.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mikhail_Gorbachev

I realised that when he appeared in Chernobyl. I never thought I'd love to see him potentially attend the funeral of Richard Madeley, though.

Paul Calf


beanheadmcginty

Quote from: Paul Calf on November 26, 2021, 10:53:02 AMI didn't know he was in Chernobyl. Or perhaps I forgot.

He's played by an actor called David Dencik in Chernobyl. Doesn't really look much like him but the head splodge is all present and correct.

Paul Calf


touchingcloth

It's like how Taika Waititi doesn't look very much like Hitler, but you don't need to do much more than stick a moustache on him to get the idea across. Mike's look is a little less accessible to the impersonator without a decent makeup kit, though.

Sebastian Cobb

It's pretty easy to pass for hitler yeah.

It's rare you see a convincing Nixon, I guess between the wobbly jowels and finding a resting facial expression that both conveys insane bitterness and yet also looks like someone's at the vinegars, you can only reasonably expect two.

famethrowa

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on November 26, 2021, 05:13:48 PMIt's pretty easy to pass for hitler yeah.

It's rare you see a convincing Nixon, I guess between the wobbly jowels and finding a resting facial expression that both conveys insane bitterness and yet also looks like someone's at the vinegars, you can only reasonably expect two.

Who was it did a Nixon show recently under super heavy makeup and ended up not looking a damn thing like Tricky Dick? Harry Shearer maybe?


Cuellar

Electronics retailer Currys is named after Marie Curie, who did futuristic things.

touchingcloth

It's like how Finnegans Wake was named after Judy Finnegan, who entertained people waking up. It's the missing possessive apostrophe in both cases which lets everyone know we're being serious and not talking shit.

Jittlebags

Apprantly Murray Walker came up with the slogan "Opal Fruits, Made to Make your Mouth Water". As well as "Trill makes budgies bounce with health". So fuck knows what he was on back in the 60s.

FredNurke

If he was bouncing around with his mouth watering, I think we can take a guess.