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Cunt of Death Day Jubilation Spectacular

Started by shoulders, May 16, 2022, 02:40:06 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Ferris

Quote from: DrGreggles on May 27, 2022, 11:32:25 AMJust been asked about people using my driveway again - I less politely declined

Charge 6 quid an hour?

Yes, you can use my driveway if I can take a cricket bat to any cars that park on it.

imitationleather

My girlfriend's charity shop is the only one in Newcastle that is resisting from using this as an excuse to put all their unsold red, white and blue tat in the window.

DrGreggles

Quote from: Ferris on May 27, 2022, 12:08:47 PMCharge 6 quid an hour?

The entry/exit is pretty narrow, so it's a bit last in first out.

Ludicrously designed - I really should get Ground Force round to sort it out.

Part of me hopes that people park there so I can block them in when I get back from work.

Ferris

Quote from: DrGreggles on May 27, 2022, 12:16:49 PMThe entry/exit is pretty narrow, so it's a bit last in first out.

Ludicrously designed - I really should get Ground Force round to sort it out.

Part of me hopes that people park there so I can block them in when I get back from work.

It's bijou, so actually 10 quid an hour.

Alternative - chekky tank trap in the bottleneck and you'll get them all. You've got options, is my point.

DrGreggles

Absolutely, but one of them needs to be me getting in and out.

Might take one of the few road parking spots and leave the driveway empty, but for a small traffic cone - that'll annoy them.

The Mollusk

Walthamstow high street is having a mile long street party for this, from 1-7pm which as everyone knows are the complete inverse of actual good party hours. I'm so glad I'm gonna be several hundred miles away in another country getting smashed at a festival rather than enduring this spray of lukewarm piss.

imitationleather

The last street party thing I can remember is for VE Day in 1995.

After that all the people who enjoy street parties started to properly die off/get too old to go outside.

Which begs the question: Who are the utter squares attending the ones being organised for this?

superthunderstingcar

Is parking in a stranger's driveway one of the officially approved ways of celebrating Her Majesty's Glorious Jubilee? Maybe it's symbolic of the Empire or something?

idunnosomename

Let them on your driveway and then start revving your car and laughing maniacally while you flash the high beams

Blue Jam

Alright, I could be tempted by this:

https://www.visitscotland.com/info/events/dachshund-day-queens-jubilee-weekend-p2661911

There's a prize for the best royal fancy dress. I would object to that if I didn't find dogs in little costumes inherently funny.

Just driven past a very large lady on a mobility scooter.

SCOOTER STATUS: FULLY BUNTED

buttgammon

I swear there wasn't this much kerfuffle in 2012, but that would've been when my avoidance of the royal family and also my generally being pissed half the time was at its peak.

My aunt's street had a party for the 2002 jubilee which they invited all the family to too, and it was there as an 11 year old that I started to become a republican. It just seemed (i.e. was) such a stupid event that it's put me off ever since.

idunnosomename

Quote from: Blue Jam on May 27, 2022, 02:31:43 PMAlright, I could be tempted by this:

https://www.visitscotland.com/info/events/dachshund-day-queens-jubilee-weekend-p2661911

There's a prize for the best royal fancy dress. I would object to that if I didn't find dogs in little costumes inherently funny.
dress one up as Prince Philip's recummbent corpse

imitationleather

Quote from: buttgammon on May 27, 2022, 02:58:43 PMI swear there wasn't this much kerfuffle in 2012, but that would've been when my avoidance of the royal family and also my generally being pissed half the time was at its peak.

Probably a mix of the Olympics taking all the attention and it not looking like the Queen wouldn't last to the end of the year.

Jasha

Thought there would have been a mention of Kunt by now

nsfw (though we did Bluetooth it to the workshop stereo at lunchtime)

https://princeandrew.info/

shoulders

Quote from: idunnosomename on May 27, 2022, 03:01:43 PMdress one up as Prince Philip's recummbent corpse

Hmm, dressing down, that would be. Like dress down day.

Ferris

Quote from: buttgammon on May 27, 2022, 02:58:43 PMI swear there wasn't this much kerfuffle in 2012

I think it's because everyone knows she's in the ground soon so this is the last one. Even Phil is getting older and might not make it to 2032.

@imitationleather I remember the 1995 VE day street parties as well and not understanding why the fuck we were bothering. There was cake so it's not like I was inquiring too hard in case the cake-providers saw it for the sham it so clearly was.

Was there VE days in 2005/2015? I don't remember them, I expect you're right and all the oldies had died off by then and been replaced with the shitty boomers we have now.

Quote from: buttgammon on May 27, 2022, 02:58:43 PMI swear there wasn't this much kerfuffle in 2012, but that would've been when my avoidance of the royal family and also my generally being pissed half the time was at its peak.

My aunt's street had a party for the 2002 jubilee which they invited all the family to too, and it was there as an 11 year old that I started to become a republican. It just seemed (i.e. was) such a stupid event that it's put me off ever since.

Cameron's government celebrated British achievement, whereas Johnson's government believes being British is the achievement and Brexit and the surrounding culture wars have radicalised patriots into nationalists. That's why we're now in a permanent state of flag shagging and deification of toffs past and present.

Jollity

I heard it's forecast to rain here over the Jubilee bank holiday weekend. The sky acknowledges no monarch.

Alberon

Beyond an attempt at a street party for the silver jubilee (also disrupted by God with rain*) the only time I've seen another was on my brother-in-laws street in Maidenhead for the marriage of Wills and Saint Kate. Wasn't anything for old sour face's jubilees.

*Actually I remember it really really pissed it down on the diamond jubilee when they did that ridiculous flotilla up the Thames. God must really hate the CoD.

shoulders

Quote from: Jollity on May 27, 2022, 05:47:47 PMI heard it's forecast to rain here over the Jubilee bank holiday weekend. The sky acknowledges no monarch.

Hope a real rain falls to wash this scum off the street

Is an unrelated quote from a film

HOMEBASE: PARTIALLY BUNTED BUT UNION JACKS ON ALL SALE SIGNAGE

buttgammon

Quote from: Ferris on May 27, 2022, 04:43:31 PMI think it's because everyone knows she's in the ground soon so this is the last one. Even Phil is getting older and might not make it to 2032.


Steady on, there's no need for that!

Re later VE days: I don't remember any street parties but my grandmother finally received a medal for her wartime service during the 2000s so it may have been part of a bigger commemoration.

king_tubby

Quote from: buttgammon on May 27, 2022, 07:03:59 PMbut my grandmother finally received a medal for her wartime service during the 2000s

What was she doing in Iraq?

Blue Jam

#325
Quote from: Alberon on May 27, 2022, 06:15:17 PMBeyond an attempt at a street party for the silver jubilee (also disrupted by God with rain*) the only time I've seen another was on my brother-in-laws street in Maidenhead for the marriage of Wills and Saint Kate. Wasn't anything for old sour face's jubilees.

*Actually I remember it really really pissed it down on the diamond jubilee when they did that ridiculous flotilla up the Thames. God must really hate the CoD.

I was in London for the CoD's Diamond Jubilee flotilla, when a load of people stood on the banks of the Thames to watch a pampered millionaire float past on a boat while stewards on Workfare shivered as they did the crowd control, unpaid and unqualified, and after a night sleeping in a tent under a bridge. I was going to a conference near London Bridge station and it was busy, but just like a rush hour at noon really.

I remember The Patron's Lunch, for the CoD's 90th birthday I think, where a few lucky forelock-tuggers got to pay £150 to sit on a trestle table in the grounds of Buck House with an M&S hamper, and how it absolutely pissed down that day. That was probably also God, sending them a message about their life choices.

The attendees are flogging the hampers and their contents on eBay now:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/304426052070

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/294950493373

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/192894683261

"Slight damage" - aye, water damage I bet.

TrenterPercenter

"Well I'd shoot them all if I had my way, you the know there are some questionable things about the Russians but they got that bit right"

Something said to me yesterday by an Oxford educated lawyer I was working with on a project.  I really wasn't expecting it, breathtakingly causally inserted into our conversation.

Video Game Fan 2000

aristocrats are worse than fascists. fascists will have to stick around for millenia to approach even a fraction of the misery and injustice inflicted by aristocracy and monarchy

does inheriting money and status count as being radicalised by an extreme ideology or is it just someone else's story

Kankurette

I can understand VE Day's 50th anniversary being a big thing in 1995, way more veterans were alive then. Not so much in 2020.

Sainsbury's was buntimus maximus when I went in there earlier.

shoulders

Quote from: TrenterPercenter on May 27, 2022, 08:17:05 PM"Well I'd shoot them all if I had my way, you the know there are some questionable things about the Russians but they got that bit right"

Something said to me yesterday by an Oxford educated lawyer I was working with on a project.  I really wasn't expecting it, breathtakingly causally inserted into our conversation.

What would the UK do if the Royal Family were all abducted and killed in the night, to the point where the next in line was 39th in line to the throne?

The sad thing is I think the British public are such snivelling cap doffing creeps they would let that person be King/Queen so the Monarchy could carry on.