Make adverts for things that don't normally get advertised

[Ronnie the Raincoat]

Here's a lazy one to start you off...

[Table Top Joe]

[weekender]

_{Hooray, death and rape covered within two replies.  Someone go for piss/shit in the next one, a hat-trick is on the cards!}

[Ginyard]

[the midnight watch baboon]

                                            ...THREEDOTS......

• Do your sentences lack clarity and run out of steam?
  
• Wanna sound like you have sooo much more to say than you really do?
  

• Or are you just after a lazy writing device?
  
  
  Then you should consider ending your sentence in three dots...
  
  Three Dots! Let imagination and endeavour fail you no more...
  
                              www.threedots...gov...org

[Blumf]

Ellipsis...
The original, why settle for lesser brands?
Featuring: Single character representation for luxury and comfort. Fully aposiopesis compliant...

[Angst in my Pants]

Sarcasm!
It's so useful.

[rudi]

Bullet points! The textual equivalent of jabbing your finger like a retired Daily Mail reader!

Buy today, three for a pound...

[Angst in my Pants]

[purlieu]

We all do things we didn't mean to.


Sometimes, accidents happen.


Have you ever spilled a drink on someone's new, thick pile carpet?


Have you ever knocked over an expensive vase at your friend's housewarming party?


Have you ever scratched your spouse's Dido CD with a rusty knife while making Welsh rarebit?


Have you ever run over a dog, burned it and eaten it?


Scared you've accidentally raped and killed your nextdoor neighbour's elderly mother?


We all know someone who's let off an atomic bomb while spring-cleaning in Iraq!


Sometimes, we all need someone to bamlem.  Sometimes, we all need...




For those not afraid to say I BAMLEM JACK BUAER.

[daimoniac]