Desolation

[ollyboro]

Alexander Armstrong: A year of songs

Fucking hell has anyone seen the advert?

Fuck Yes! At first I checked my telly guide, because I assumed it was a sketch show I had stumbled on. Then it mentioned his name, and I thought he was being a good sport and poking fun at himself on a preview for Children In Need. But no, it appears this aural equivalent of dog shit appears to be a genuine Long  Player . I swear if I ever see a fucking copy of this in somecunt's house, I'll head butt the bastard before helping myself to their fucking pension money.

[batwings]

For the fifth time this week, a hollow old cunt with Alzheimer's rediscovers what a hollow old cunt he is.

A dark red skidmark in his Y-fronts spells trouble ahead for Desmond. Driving them back from the specialist, his wife spends the insurance money in her head.

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

A rugby player on his deathbed realises that the only thing he'll be remembered for when he's gone is the night he shat into a pint glass after winning a sunday league match.

[Quote]

As he discovers his chronically depressed internet-bought Thai bride has attempted suicide Gerald's first thought is whether or not he'll be able to successfully secure a refund via the sites customer service page.