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That's all I got

Started by clingfilm portent, November 14, 2016, 05:32:35 PM

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All you got?

All I got
0 (0%)
Nall I got
0 (0%)
(Timothy) Spall I got  
1 (25%)
(All Creatures Great and) Small I got
0 (0%)
(Johnny) Ball I got
0 (0%)
(Stones of) Gall I got
0 (0%)
(Reginald Perrin's Rise and) Fall I got
0 (0%)
Raoul Moat
1 (25%)
Fall-ah! I got-AH!
1 (25%)
the cool shoeshine
1 (25%)

Total Members Voted: 4

Shit Good Nose


BlodwynPig

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on November 16, 2016, 12:53:20 PM
Does that mean you've abandoned Mino2r?

Lawyers saying they are waiting to see about the lawsuits from Minotaur first.

Shit Good Nose

Fucking lawsuits.  That'll be tied up for years.

Never mind - might come out in a double pack with The Clown That Cried.

doppelkorn

Idea for a detective series set on Gurnsey: Iqbal and Massier

Spoon of Ploff

A sequel to Lord of the Rings, called Sam's Pies.

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Spoon of Ploff on November 16, 2016, 02:03:36 PM
A sequel to Lord of the Rings, called Sam's Pies.

How many endings will it have?


Spoon of Ploff

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on November 16, 2016, 03:07:12 PM
How many endings will it have?

It will vary depending on the point when you decide to leave the cinema/fall asleep in front of the tv.

Berthas Fat Leg

Three men, burning in a tank, going 'Wuuurrrrghhhh.'

Spoon of Ploff

Don Swa'Hallen's Spoon Theater... coming to a Town Hall auditorium near you soon...

It doesn't have to be spoons.

Tikwid

A bloke called Acousmatic Joe. That's all I got

pancreas

A café in Hackney specialising in small plates of knob-cheese.

All I got.

kittens

it's a warty old demented obese cavewoman sat on a rotten tree stump, repeatedly shoving an animal bone (with rotten meat still attached) into her fanny and she's drooling and breathing snot in and out of her nose, and the drool and snot is like mixing together in the tuft of wiry white hair growing out of her chin. basically what happens then is a caveman (or maybe two cavemen) come up to her and start fucking her and she's so demented she doesn't seem to notice or care, and she's like making these grunting sounds and throwing up on herself. the caveman jizzes up her fanny and farts and walks away. nine months later she's foraging for turds in a swamp and a baby falls out of her into a pool of stagnant water and drowns. she picks up the corpse by it's legs and uses it as a cudgel to stun rats which she then bites in half, leaves to rot, and eats.

Fishfinger

He's a divorced alcoholic maverick character actor something, she's an affordable woman who gets her tits out twice in the pilot episode.

Looking for 7-8 seasons, minimum. I get to cast it.


Spoon of Ploff

A spoof Tom Baker era Doctor Who called The Entirely Pleasant Village. The Doctor and Leela arrive at a quaint old English village and cause mayhem looking for an alien threat that just doesn't exist. Sergeant Benton appears as an alcoholic pub singer, and there's a homage to WithNail and I when our heroes enter a tea shop. A-and that all I have.


Spoon of Ploff

Toby Seashells...

Just popped into my head that one. Weird.

Pit-Pat


billtheburger

Going to Crete for a minor tour.

Going to get three shrieking fuckers to make a trill orgy.

pancreas

Topman or somewhere starts making these boxer shorts which are inexplicably irresistible. No-one knows if it is the cut or the pattern or some other random thing, but when people see them they are driven mad with desire. Topman finds they have to get them made by a factory of blind workers in Bangladesh in order even to get them away from their manufacturers, since if they can see what they've stitched together, they would rather die than part with their creation. When the staff in the shops put them on the mannequins they start frotting the mannequins, irrespective of sex, and have to be given a faceful of chloroform to get them away. Some people do manage to buy them and get them out of the shop, although they involuntarily orgasm in their pants several times in the process, and they often get their PIN wrong many times while this happens. They put them on at home but spend so much time admiring themselves in the mirror they can't actually get out of the house. For the few that do manage to get onto the street in them, they find that if there's even a small amount of fabric poking out of the jeans they end up being chased down the road by crowds of sex-deranged fiends who tear at their jeans until they get at the underwear. There are bundles of people on all the streets in fully-clothed orgies pawing at some poor person's crotch who made the mistake of going out wearing them. Eventually, no-one is turning up for work or bothering to eat because they're engaged in some act of lust relating to the shorts and armies of blind people are formed to try to police the people, but they all just get kicked in the groin, so they have to start gunning people down, but because they can't see they gun down each other quite a bit too. Theresa May has to go on air to declare a national emergency but when they show the boxer shorts as a warning that you should avoid them, she starts masturbating and they have to shut down the broadcast.

That's all I got.

spamwangler

11:30 Taking Stock of Evil:

Barry Scott Takes a Look at The Gravies of the Nazis, in colour (brown)

the midnight watch baboon

Gay people are abandoned with gay abandon and it's hosted by an Irishman.

It features lots of sliding minibus doors,  drone footage of Christopher Biggins laughing to himself in a dell or near a tarn, before getting really worried and perhaps the narrative turns rather blue.

An downward-pointing arrow above the cistern, above that: the spray-painted words 'bum milk'

doppelkorn

Otis Redding is brought back from the dead, or they make a hologram of him so they can make it sing "Shittin' on the cock of a gay" and make the corpse/hologram actually do that thing while he's singing it.

That's all I got.

Spoon of Ploff

"And now, the shipping forecast..."

Except instead of the weather it's a list featuring the unlikely romantic pairings of various fiction characters.

I'm sure this has never been done as a sketch before but I haven't bothered checking to make sure.

pancreas

Quote from: Spoon of Ploff on January 16, 2017, 01:30:38 PM
"And now, the shipping forecast..."

Except instead of the weather it's a list featuring the unlikely romantic pairings of various fiction characters.

I'm sure this has never been done as a sketch before but I haven't bothered checking to make sure.

I'm sorry to have to get all over your arse like this, but might you please supply an examples or two? Or I'll be forced to accuse you of having less than nothing. I suppose 'that's all I got' could potentially cover the case that your idea is so deficient that it consists of a negative amount of content, but I'm not sure that it's in the spirit of the thread.

Spoon of Ploff

Quote from: pancreas on January 16, 2017, 02:04:23 PM
I'm sorry to have to get all over your arse like this, but might you please supply an examples or two? Or I'll be forced to accuse you of having less than nothing. I suppose 'that's all I got' could potentially cover the case that your idea is so deficient that it consists of a negative amount of content, but I'm not sure that it's in the spirit of the thread.

Zippy and Bungle
Trump and Grove
Homer Simpson and Motoko Kusanagi

jeez, didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition...

the Spanish Inquisition and the ECB


happy now?

pancreas

Quote from: Spoon of Ploff on January 16, 2017, 03:23:32 PM
Zippy and Bungle [etc]

This is exactly as I feared. They don't say 'and' between the names, do they? It's stuff like

Quote from: wikipediaHumber, Thames. Southeast veering southwest 4 or 5, occasionally 6 later. Thundery showers. Moderate or good, occasionally poor.

And it's not just the names of the areas, is it? There's something about the wind or whatever, plus whether good or whatever.

You haven't said, for example, if Zippy and Bungle are moderate or good, occasionally poor.

Do you see my problems with what you've (not) done?

Spoon of Ploff

Quote from: pancreas on January 16, 2017, 04:15:56 PM
Do you see my problems with what you've (not) done?

'sake.

QuoteZippy, Bungle. Thames television veering ITV 3 or 4, occasionally CITV later. Golden showers. Angst or humour, occasionally pornographic.

I suppose this is what I get for asking BlodwynPig to show his working out in the 'Who Murdered Lolly Shoe?' thread.