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That's all I got

Started by clingfilm portent, November 14, 2016, 05:32:35 PM

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All you got?

All I got
0 (0%)
Nall I got
0 (0%)
(Timothy) Spall I got  
1 (25%)
(All Creatures Great and) Small I got
0 (0%)
(Johnny) Ball I got
0 (0%)
(Stones of) Gall I got
0 (0%)
(Reginald Perrin's Rise and) Fall I got
0 (0%)
Raoul Moat
1 (25%)
Fall-ah! I got-AH!
1 (25%)
the cool shoeshine
1 (25%)

Total Members Voted: 4

pancreas

But don't you see? This is quite good now. And all because of me. Me. Because I insist that standards are maintained with utmost rigour. It is clear that I should be a leader of men, for as we have just seen, I am able to inspire and browbeat people to their full potential. Properly equipped, I believe I could conceive unlimited inducements and punishments of ever increasing inventiveness and cruelty. You shall be my first recruit, Spoon of Ploff. If you survive your training, I shall promote you to Lieutenant. Thenceforth, we shall fly at the world on wings of fury and it will bow down before us.

Let us begin. I hereby issue you with your first command:

Kill Glebe.

Spoon of Ploff

Quote from: pancreas on January 16, 2017, 05:08:15 PM
But don't you see? This is quite good now. And all because of me. Me. Because I insist that standards are maintained with utmost rigour. It is clear that I should be a leader of men, for as we have just seen, I am able to inspire and browbeat people to their full potential. Properly equipped, I believe I could conceive unlimited inducements and punishments of ever increasing inventiveness and cruelty. You shall be my first recruit, Spoon of Ploff. If you survive your training, I shall promote you to Lieutenant. Thenceforth, we shall fly at the world on wings of fury and it will bow down before us.

Let us begin. I hereby issue you with your first command:

Kill Glebe.



Sgt. Duckie

Quote from: Spoon of Ploff on January 16, 2017, 04:43:51 PM
'sake.

I suppose this is what I get for asking BlodwynPig to show his working out in the 'Who Murdered Lolly Shoe?' thread.

Lolly Shoe really was all I had.

spamwangler


Norton Canes

Some sort of cross between a shoe and a sponge.

spamwangler

Quote from: Norton Canes on January 18, 2017, 05:09:44 PM
Some sort of cross between a shoe and a sponge.

sean connery doing the adverts

Spoon of Ploff

A plate of chips reminisce about the 1950's... one of them has a Yorkshire accent. There are no flashback sequences. 10 episodes, each an hour long.

Fishfinger

Quote from: spamwangler on January 18, 2017, 04:18:29 PM
now all you have is that and this:



Too good. I'm now pitching another project in desperate need of a poster: Pornado.

pancreas

All taps are replaced with penises. In order to get anything out of them, e.g. water for a bath, they have to be milked or stimulated in some other way. For example, to get beer out of the taps in pubs there is an anus-shaped hole and you have to stick your finger in and waggle it about. This slows everything in the world down to an intolerable degree, but everyone gets extremely good at masturbation.

pancreas

Mission Impossible style situation in which two men are descending on ropes towards a floor they cannot disturb because it is riddled with sensors. Bloke A says that he is sorry and he shouldn't have had that extra pint at lunchtime but he really needs a piss. He can't just do it on the floor because of the sensors so Bloke B has to drink a whole bladderful of piss straight from Bloke A's penis.

spamwangler

Quote from: pancreas on December 29, 2017, 10:18:21 PM
Mission Impossible style situation in which two men are descending on ropes towards a floor they cannot disturb because it is riddled with sensors. Bloke A says that he is sorry and he shouldn't have had that extra pint at lunchtime but he really needs a piss. He can't just do it on the floor because of the sensors so Bloke B has to drink a whole bladderful of piss straight from Bloke A's penis.

Kevin James smashes it again

Ferris

A joke where the punchline is

"...Ed Milliband, Dave Milliband, or the Steve Miller Band!"

Ferris

Appending "...and the philosopher's stone" to celebrity names, then imagining what that would be like.

"Terry Nutkins and the philsopher's stone"

"Alan Bennet and the philosopher's stone"

"June Sarpong and the philosopher's stone"

That sort of thing

Cuellar

The light of evening, Lissadell,
Great windows open to the south,
Two girls in silk kimonos, both
Beautiful, one Scott Quinnell.

and

The chill ascends from feet to knees,
The fever sings in mental wires.
If to be warmed, then I must freeze
And quake in frigid purgatorial fires
Of which the flame is roses, and the smoke is Richard Briers.

spamwangler


pancreas

Quote from: spamwangler on February 25, 2018, 11:08:00 PM
babra strides and

Wow. That's barely anything at all. I mean, you couldn't really have less than that.

spamwangler

Quote from: pancreas on February 25, 2018, 11:23:16 PM
Wow. That's barely anything at all. I mean, you couldn't really have less than that.

i feel like theres something there, like a voice on the wind.

some cunts are posting full ideas on here, bunch of jokers, anyone can have an idea, - anyone can have no ideas, but having something balanced so perfectly on the very periphery of your brain, on the threshold between idea and just staring out the window with your hand down your trousers, there is the thrill of the chase for me

Dex Sawash


spamwangler

Cattle re-enactment society

Gregory Torso

Steven Fry interviews serial killers.

Sort of like... eighties wogan set, pastel blues, sofa.

Henry Lee Lucas is led on in shackles by his handler. Steven is waiting on a podium.

Steven says "Henry! Entrust your buttocks to this cushiony perch, if you would!"

Henry looks at his guard and grunts "wuh?" the guard shrugs.

Steven says "Ladle your bum quarters over this arrangement of furniturestuffs, if the botty desires"

Guard says "I think he wants you to sit down"

Steven says "now, Hen, let's get into the fruitcake of your naughty little killingtons down in sweet virginia"

That's all I fucking got

Spoon of Ploff


Norton Canes

Is that all there is? Is that all there is?
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball,
If that's all there is


spamwangler


spamwangler


pancreas



Ferris


Ferris

A baker parody of Fatima Whitbread:

Whittima Flatbread

pancreas

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on March 02, 2018, 04:48:33 PM
A baker parody of Fatima Whitbread:

Whittima Flatbread

Oh that's great. It doesn't even need a proper justification.