News:

And wear a fucking mask please


Noel Edmonds is Unwell

Started by Ballad of Ballard Berkley, August 08, 2017, 07:23:47 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

dr beat

I've long been intending to start a thread called 'Which ludicrous British celebrity might launch a Trump-style bid for power?'

Edmonds is top of the list.

Edit: Ah new page.  As good as starting a new thread.



Quote from: dr beat on August 08, 2017, 09:07:58 PM
I've long been intending to start a thread called 'Which ludicrous British celebrity might launch a Trump-style bid for power?'

Edmonds is top of the list.


Yeah.  He trumps and it's like a deadly poisonous gas that spreads unremittingly over a wider and wider area without diluting it's potency.  The nation is held to ransom for the antidote.

shiftwork2

He's a fucking prannet these days but I just can't hate him.  Too much goodwill in the bank, mainly stemming from his pitch perfect bit on Swap Shop - avuncular, fun and totally genuine.  His grinning rat is flashing at me from the 'spoons quizzer as I write and it's sad that he went down the South West mystical libertarian arsehole route but I suspect he's having a bit of a laugh about it all.

Quote from: shiftwork2 on August 08, 2017, 09:11:09 PM
goodwill in the bank, mainly stemming from his pitch perfect bit on Swap Shop - avuncular, fun and totally genuine. 

Even then the signs were there-like talking to a dinosaur made from cardboard egg-boxes painted purple.

Hangthebuggers

Quote from: Cuellar on August 08, 2017, 07:59:23 PM
He's definitely mentally ill. I can say that as a certified mental illness professional.

I actually think this is a very unfair analysis of said Noel.

Hangthebuggers

He was just 'doing his best'.

When (?) 'He could' .

marquis_de_sad

Quote from: dr beat on August 08, 2017, 09:07:58 PM
I've long been intending to start a thread called 'Which ludicrous British celebrity might launch a Trump-style bid for power?'

Edmonds is top of the list.

Edit: Ah new page.  As good as starting a new thread.

He did try that weird Daily Mail-style TV programme where he shouted at councillors. If that had taken off then he would probably have started a political career.

biggytitbo

Quote from: Ballad of Ballard Berkley on August 08, 2017, 09:03:36 PM
Tom Baker and Brian Blessed are eccentric celebrities. Noel's public pronouncements are demented and potentially dangerous.


He could be an oddball who is also a charlatan.

Glebe

He was declared dangerous some years ago by one expert.

Brunette Romana 2

He is basically a big old divvy, isn't he?

I pretended he was my uncle at uni for a bit (my maiden name was Edmonds). I don't even know why. It certainly wasn't to gain favour with anyone, Christ!

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

Quote from: biggytitbo on August 08, 2017, 09:27:28 PM

He could be an oddball who is also a charlatan.

He's all of these things wrapped up in an orgasmic orb of bearded positive energy.

Phil_A

Quote from: biggytitbo on August 08, 2017, 08:24:21 PM
I think its a bit cruel to suggest he's mentally ill, if he is then so are lots of odd people in showbiz. Where does 'eccentric' end and 'mentally ill' begin?

Around the time you start doing things like this:



He has also apparently been trying to claim half the £100m fund set aside for HBOS fraud victims should be his. Fucking hell man, how much more money do you need?



Glebe


KennyMonster

Quote from: touchingcloth on August 08, 2017, 08:01:25 PM
I'll get my pet snake to give him a call to cheer him up.

???
Have you got a hair island?

A...HAIR...........IS..............LAND!

KennyMonster

Quote from: Glebe on August 09, 2017, 01:28:59 AM
Corbyn goes transgender.

Sounds as if Enid Blyton is beginning to lose the plot too.

Ian Drunken Smurf

Quote from: Glebe on August 08, 2017, 07:29:53 PM
Edmonds is a legend. I won't have a bad word said against him.

Blobby?

Gurke and Hare

Quote from: Gulftastic on August 08, 2017, 07:48:08 PM
'Cheap Cheap Cheap'

'The game show format that thinks it's a sitcom!

Cheap Cheap Cheap is an inspired collision of comedy and game show. The action takes place in a fictional general store and centres around a game show, hosted by the store owner (played by Noel Edmonds in the UK) who invites pairs of contestants to win an increasing amount of money by correctly picking the cheapest of three similar items. It couldn't be simpler! It could be three different styles of hat, three different brands of coffee maker, or three contrasting pizzas. If they fail to guess the cheapest item they'll be eliminated from the game, lose all their money and the next eager contestants step up to the challenge. Throughout the game, the shop's eccentric staff offer the contestants advice, encouragement – and distraction. A truly original show!'

Supermarket Sweep for the Made In Chelsea generation!

Gurke and Hare

Quote from: Ian Drunken Smurf on August 09, 2017, 07:01:59 AM
Blobby?

In a way, Blobby is a microcosm of Noel's whole career. Excellent initially (the first couple of appearances, when Noel himself was inside the costume, were very funny) with diminishing returns until it got to the point where everyone was sick of the fucking sight of him.

Quote from: Gurke and Hare on August 09, 2017, 10:17:18 AM
In a way, Blobby is a microcosm of Noel's whole career. Excellent initially (the first couple of appearances, when Noel himself was inside the costume, were very funny) with diminishing returns until it got to the point where everyone was sick of the fucking sight of him.

Not a character who progresses or develops much, is he?  And Mr Blobby was almost as bad.

Paul Calf

Quote from: Gulftastic on August 08, 2017, 07:48:08 PM
Noel's new show starts next Monday.

'Cheap Cheap Cheap'

'The game show format that thinks it's a sitcom!

Cheap Cheap Cheap is an inspired collision of comedy and game show. The action takes place in a fictional general store and centres around a game show, hosted by the store owner (played by Noel Edmonds in the UK) who invites pairs of contestants to win an increasing amount of money by correctly picking the cheapest of three similar items. It couldn't be simpler! It could be three different styles of hat, three different brands of coffee maker, or three contrasting pizzas. If they fail to guess the cheapest item they'll be eliminated from the game, lose all their money and the next eager contestants step up to the challenge. Throughout the game, the shop's eccentric staff offer the contestants advice, encouragement – and distraction. A truly original show!'

From Hat Trick's page.

Couldn't sound less watchable if it tried.

It looks like something that David Brent scribbled down on his notepad while looking up Jennifer's skirt. I thought it was a joke when I saw this quoted above, but it's actually real.

Hat Trick Productions.

madhair60

Mr Blobby is great. He's like some sort of Chaos God.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: madhair60 on August 09, 2017, 11:50:28 AM
Mr Blobby is great. He's like some sort of Chaos God.

He's another one of those things that looking back is so absurd you wonder whether or not it's just a false memory from a fever dream or something... see also: Hammerman.

Quote from: madhair60 on August 09, 2017, 11:50:28 AM
Mr Blobby is great. He's like some sort of Chaos God.

All he did was bump into or jump on things or people, and say, 'Blobby!  Blobby!

Gwen Taylor on ITV


JoeyBananaduck

You know what I like about Noel? That he fucking hates Philip Schofield. Now, I quite like yer Schofe. I've bumped into him and he's quite nice, he's left-wing and generally compassionate and all that. But you can't deny Edmonds/Schofield is one laughably shit feud.

Noel's sense of entitlement is almost at megalomanical levels - I don't think that can be denied. His first big primetime show ended on account of a slight case of Saturday evening light entertainment funtime manslaughter of a young father. To most people it'd be 'fucking hell, I should be extremely contrite that that happened on my show and keep my head down and be grateful to just DJ on Radio Swindon or something'. But no. Noel came back with the House Party - essentially the same format as The Late Late Breakfast Show but with the name changed to something that the British public didn't associate quite so strongly with someone going whoopsy-daisy-splat. Was he satisfied? Was he fuck, mate, he wanted a theme park that pretty much bankrupted the council of Morecambe. Was he contrite about that? Nope, Deal Or No Deal time (after some bullshit where he nearly killed someone in a helicopter, I think). And all the while he's whinging, moaning, trying to buy the BBC, suing banks, selling hocus pocus cancer cures, declaring Britain has gone bonkers on some shit Sky show, railing against councils wanting bagpipers to not play too late at night, dressing up as an insane bearded woman to rant about House Party being taken off YouTube and phoning up your dachsund to ask how it's feeling.

What a guy.


jobotic

I'm sure I saw I saw this first on here, but anyway. Noel don't give one damn shit, does he?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeQs2fpU1eI

Neol on Wogan soon after the death on Late Late Breakfast Show.  Note Terry's gaffe on Noel's 'gay parties' at 8.16-20.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZJgW6UdFiw

spamwangler

Quote from: Gulftastic on August 08, 2017, 07:48:08 PM
Noel's new show starts next Monday.

'Cheap Cheap Cheap'

'The game show format that thinks it's a sitcom!

Cheap Cheap Cheap is an inspired collision of comedy and game show. The action takes place in a fictional general store and centres around a game show, hosted by the store owner (played by Noel Edmonds in the UK) who invites pairs of contestants to win an increasing amount of money by correctly picking the cheapest of three similar items. It couldn't be simpler! It could be three different styles of hat, three different brands of coffee maker, or three contrasting pizzas. If they fail to guess the cheapest item they'll be eliminated from the game, lose all their money and the next eager contestants step up to the challenge. Throughout the game, the shop's eccentric staff offer the contestants advice, encouragement – and distraction. A truly original show!'


That sounds magic! their stealing ideas off glebe from the invent tv shows from the past thread tho

Glebe

Quote from: spamwangler on August 09, 2017, 10:10:46 PMThat sounds magic! their stealing ideas off glebe from the invent tv shows from the past thread tho

Yes, I may start legal proceedings against Mr. Edmonds.

JoeyBananaduck

Finally - finally a show with contrasting pizzas!