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The “This’ll be shit, I reckon” thread

Started by mothman, September 29, 2018, 12:13:44 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

AsparagusTrevor

Quote from: Sonny_Jim on October 29, 2021, 07:14:13 AM
Quote from: Povidone on October 28, 2021, 07:56:43 PMHa! I just watched that trailer, had to look up who Patrick Muldoon was, the cowardly ship captain from Starship Troopers who gets his brains sucked out.
IIRC he does have some kind of redemption at the end, throwing a gun or distracting the brain bug or something?

I don't remember him being particularly cowardly, he was just 'the other guy' who 'stole' our 'hero's' girlfriend. He gives her his only weapon, his knife, at the end when they're facing certain doom so she can defend herself while he gets his brains sucked out.

Sonny_Jim

To answer my own question, Bruce Willis does these shitty movies, even though he's got a net worth of ~$250 Million dollars, because he gets paid a shitload of money to do basically nothing.  Rich people like having more money. 

Also of note, check out just how many executive producers there are on 'Deadlock':

Quote
Jordan Beckerman   ...   executive producer
Gordon Bijelonic   ...   executive producer
Jas Boparai   ...   executive producer
Grady Craig   ...   executive producer
Stephen J. Eads   ...   executive producer
David Gendron   ...   executive producer
Tom Harberd   ...   executive producer
Matthew Helderman   ...   executive producer
Phil Hunt   ...   executive producer
Ali Jazayeri   ...   executive producer
Sam Jordan   ...   executive producer
Jon Keeyes   ...   co-producer
Corey Large   ...   producer
Jordan Yale Levine   ...   executive producer
Johnny Messner   ...   producer
Mandi Murro   ...   associate producer
Sean Patrick O'Reilly   ...   executive producer
Compton Ross   ...   executive producer
Stephen Cyrus Sepher   ...   executive producer (as S. Cyrus Sepher)
Luke Taylor   ...   executive producer

Povidone

Quote from: AsparagusTrevor on October 29, 2021, 08:23:55 AM
IIRC he does have some kind of redemption at the end, throwing a gun or distracting the brain bug or something?

I don't remember him being particularly cowardly, he was just 'the other guy' who 'stole' our 'hero's' girlfriend. He gives her his only weapon, his knife, at the end when they're facing certain doom so she can defend herself while he gets his brains sucked out.

Been awhile so I'm probably misremembering, maybe he was just more of a berk than anything. Either way, Deadlock will be a national tragedy.

idunnosomename

Quote from: mothman on October 29, 2021, 01:43:08 AM
As for what they have on the slate, apart from Lightyear it's just something called Seeing Red, about a Chinese-American girl who turns into a red panda for some reason.
i thought that looked really good from the trailer. The wonderful Pixar character animation suits perfectly that sort of magic-realism, rather than Chris Evans serious spaceman.

Like Lightyear we get no idea what the plot is from it though. (Ps also it's set in Canada). But it's got Studio Ghibli written all over it

dissolute ocelot

Quote from: mothman on October 29, 2021, 01:43:08 AM
I haven't seen Coco, Onward or Soul - and I had to look them up to check they were all Pixar and not just Disney. So I don't know whether they fit the mould of the classic/archetypal (non-sequel) Pixar film or not. As for what they have on the slate, apart from Lightyear it's just something called Seeing Red, about a Chinese-American girl who turns into a red panda for some reason.
There seems to be a sense that recent Pixar films aren't quite as good as the classic ones (Up, Finding Nemo, Inside Out, Toy Story, etc). Certainly the reviews of the recent films have been good but less ecstatic. It's maybe in part to a change in staff, with the likes of John Lasseter being sacked as a workplace bully or harasser. And the basic fact that nobody can be good forever.

Although it's probably also because Pixar are held to a higher standard than Disney, especially after the 00s run of mediocre Disney animations, and certainly Soul would be hailed as genius if it was from the studio that brought you Atlantis and Brother Bear. And also because there's more variation in Pixar's recent output, more attempt to try different things and deal with different cultures (different writers, directors, settings, stories, musics), rather than continuing the well-oiled machine that brought Toy Story but also brought by-numbers formulaic works like Cars and Planes. So not everything is going to appeal to everyone.

So Buzz Lightyear movie could be a bit of an attempt to do something of surefire popularity, something of interest to parents who grew up on Toy Story as well as to young kids. I'm still not convinced though: doing a really good sci-fi epic is hard, probably harder than making a squirrel that tells jokes about nuts. Disney Animation have made various attempts at animated sci-fi, with Treasure Planet very good (mixing surrogate-father emotion with excitement) and Atlantis: The Lost Empire terrible, and even Star Wars hasn't been 100% successful.

idunnosomename

To be fair again Pixar didn't sink as low to doing Planes, that was made by Disneytoon Studios although sex-pest Lasseter did have a hand in the story. Ive never seen that or Cars 2 or 3. One was bad enough.

Famous Mortimer

Patrick Muldoon is also great in moderately underrated trashy B-movie "Ice Spiders".

mothman

Quote from: idunnosomename on October 29, 2021, 11:49:03 AM
i thought that looked really good from the trailer. The wonderful Pixar character animation suits perfectly that sort of magic-realism, rather than Chris Evans serious spaceman.

Like Lightyear we get no idea what the plot is from it though. (Ps also it's set in Canada). But it's got Studio Ghibli written all over it

I stand corrected. And I'm working on the assumption that Seeing Red is intended to be more along the lines of the kind of thing people think about when they think about Pixar films.

And ocelot I think sums up what I was trying to say much better! ;-)

Captain Z

Quote from: mothman on October 26, 2021, 09:56:59 AM
Operation Mincemeat! https://youtu.be/naactPCbIgQ

Impressive cast? Check!
Telling you the whole story in the trailer? Check!
Little jokes that aren't that funny? Check!

Bonus points for all the (post-Saving Private Ryan) curiously antiseptic battle footage of the invasion of Sicily seeded throughout the trailer, which in the actual film is probably about the last 30 seconds.

"For god's sake Fleming, what are you writing?"
"Spy story."

Original draft:

"For god's sake, Fleming, it's double-0 seven hundred hours, what are you writing?"

kalowski

"Office Fleming meet private Bond and Captain James." (Indicates each person in turn) "James. Bond. What are you scribbling now, Fleming?"

mothman

"Your plan to use a dead body, it's left the PM shaken, but not necessarily stirred into approving it... Dammit, Fleming, it's not your job to take the minutes, why are you always making notes?"

Famous Mortimer

It turns out that someone did "Free Guy" a couple of years before "Free Guy", but this is about a bunch of stock characters from a porno movie realising they're both stock characters and being chased by a killer.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6975598/

I thought "Christopher McDonald, Katie Aselton, Jerry O'Connell, Jessica Parker Kennedy, I like them, this might be alright", but then...it can't be, can it? If I'm only just learning about its existence today, then it's going to be some absolute bollocks, cheaply made with those four appearing on screen for a few minutes each as that's all the production could afford, and I'm going to be extremely disappointed by it. Yet, my desire to go home, illegally download it then watch it is not lessened by this realisation.

Butchers Blind

Quote from: mothman on October 26, 2021, 09:56:59 AM
Operation Mincemeat! https://youtu.be/naactPCbIgQ

Impressive cast? Check!
Telling you the whole story in the trailer? Check!
Little jokes that aren't that funny? Check!

Bonus points for all the (post-Saving Private Ryan) curiously antiseptic battle footage of the invasion of Sicily seeded throughout the trailer, which in the actual film is probably about the last 30 seconds.

"How's the plan going, sir?"
"Well, Fleming, shitty. Shitty!"
*outside a car backfires BANG BANG*

greenman

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on October 29, 2021, 12:08:40 PM
There seems to be a sense that recent Pixar films aren't quite as good as the classic ones (Up, Finding Nemo, Inside Out, Toy Story, etc). Certainly the reviews of the recent films have been good but less ecstatic. It's maybe in part to a change in staff, with the likes of John Lasseter being sacked as a workplace bully or harasser. And the basic fact that nobody can be good forever.

Although it's probably also because Pixar are held to a higher standard than Disney, especially after the 00s run of mediocre Disney animations, and certainly Soul would be hailed as genius if it was from the studio that brought you Atlantis and Brother Bear. And also because there's more variation in Pixar's recent output, more attempt to try different things and deal with different cultures (different writers, directors, settings, stories, musics), rather than continuing the well-oiled machine that brought Toy Story but also brought by-numbers formulaic works like Cars and Planes. So not everything is going to appeal to everyone.

So Buzz Lightyear movie could be a bit of an attempt to do something of surefire popularity, something of interest to parents who grew up on Toy Story as well as to young kids. I'm still not convinced though: doing a really good sci-fi epic is hard, probably harder than making a squirrel that tells jokes about nuts. Disney Animation have made various attempts at animated sci-fi, with Treasure Planet very good (mixing surrogate-father emotion with excitement) and Atlantis: The Lost Empire terrible, and even Star Wars hasn't been 100% successful.

I tend to think part of the sucess of Pixar and Marvel is that the studios being relatively new there had been less time for the kind of talentless corporate climber to worm themselves into positions of power. They still had creative people making most of the big decisions were as other studios were run by suits looking to pie charts and focus groups.

Spiteface

Quote from: mothman on October 06, 2021, 09:17:48 PM
https://twitter.com/netflixfilm/status/1445797259992567812

I wonder whether this really meets the criteria for this thread. After all, I mean, it'll OBVIOUSLY be shit. Does it matter if it's potentially entertainingly shit?


Will he hack off his own foot at the end, disappear, only to show up in an underwhelming sequel 6 films later?

If he doesn't, I'm not interested.

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: Famous Mortimer on October 29, 2021, 10:25:24 PM
It turns out that someone did "Free Guy" a couple of years before "Free Guy", but this is about a bunch of stock characters from a porno movie realising they're both stock characters and being chased by a killer.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6975598/

I thought "Christopher McDonald, Katie Aselton, Jerry O'Connell, Jessica Parker Kennedy, I like them, this might be alright", but then...it can't be, can it? If I'm only just learning about its existence today, then it's going to be some absolute bollocks, cheaply made with those four appearing on screen for a few minutes each as that's all the production could afford, and I'm going to be extremely disappointed by it. Yet, my desire to go home, illegally download it then watch it is not lessened by this realisation.

It sounds like my cup of teas as well, and there's one or two positive reviews out there, but the majority seem to be negative sadly.

SteveDave

Jared Leto as a vampire-based anti-hero who's also a genius. It looks shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZ6iiRrz1SY


jofo

"Bat Radar"...... if only there was a word for it?.... maybe Dolphins will know the answer?

letsgobrian

Quote from: jofo on November 03, 2021, 10:07:25 AM
"Bat Radar"...... if only there was a word for it?.... maybe Dolphins will know the answer?

The "teaser" trailer from a year ago used echolocation in the dialogue, so someone somewhere decided it needed dumbing down.

kalowski


Tokyo van Ramming

Quote from: SteveDave on November 03, 2021, 09:43:33 AM
Jared Leto as a vampire-based anti-hero who's also a genius. It looks shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZ6iiRrz1SY

Finally, an actual bat man. Personally I don't think Leto should be allowed anywhere near public consumption. Was that Michael Keaton too? Fuck my life

Dex Sawash

Quote from: Dex Sawash on February 04, 2021, 04:21:53 PM
LAND

Starring Robin Wright. Directed by Robin Wright.
From acclaimed actress Robin Wright comes her directorial debut LAND, the poignant story of one woman's search for meaning in the vast and harsh American wilderness. Edee (Wright), in the aftermath of an unfathomable event, finds herself unable to stay connected to the world she once knew and in the face of that uncertainty, retreats to the magnificent, but unforgiving, wilds of the Rockies. After a local hunter (Demián Bichir) brings her back from the brink of death, she must find a way to live again.





HBOMAX TOMOROW, SHIT FANS

mothman

It's been out since February, and nobody has bothered to write a synopsis for Wikipedia. That's something I see so rarely, it might almost be worth a thread in itself. If I can remember any others.

jobotic

Quote from: SteveDave on November 03, 2021, 09:43:33 AM
Jared Leto as a vampire-based anti-hero who's also a genius. It looks shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZ6iiRrz1SY

I didn;t know who Jared Leto was and I pictured Jay Leno. That would have been better.

Anyway it does look shit but even if it didn't I'm not watching a film I can barely see.

phantom_power

It's a vampire film. What vampire film do I remember from my youth? Lost Boys. What do I remember from that? People are Strange. Bingo!

Dex Sawash

I watched LAND this morning and @icehaven was correct as usual.

Quote from: icehaven on February 04, 2021, 07:58:56 PMAnd I bet you don't find out what the 'unfathomable event' is until the 3rd act, and it'll almost definitely be a dead child/husband/entire family.

Unfathomably bad, 75% quick cut/montage, has a magical negro, and a
Spoiler alert
dog
[close]
.

mothman

Bump!

Quote from: Noodle Lizard on December 30, 2021, 11:40:06 PMA "META FILM" where Nicolas Cage plays "a twisted version of himself", with "hilarious results". Written and directed by a man who has made two things that nobody really liked, whilst clutching a co-producer credit on Movie 43. It's evidently true that, in Hollywood, you fail upwards:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8VuWhvk87o

Do we still have a "This'll be shit, I reckon" thread going? Unfair to judge entirely based on a trailer, but good lord.


Old Nehamkin

^ For context, those drawings were originally posted by Mike Judge on Twitter accompanied with this message:

Quote from: Mike JudgeBeavis and Butt-Head will be returning this year with a brand new movie and more on Paramount+. No exact date yet, but soon. They need some time to get back in shape.


So probably a bit of a leap to report that they're "the new designs" or that the reboot is necessarily going to focus on middle-aged versions of the characters rather than a case of Judge just being a bit playful with the announcement. The last revival in 2011 retained the floating timeline of the original series and I expect that'll probably be the case with this new one, but there hasn't really been any solid info released about it. The 2011 series was great though and Judge has done a lot of good stuff since so I'm cautiously optimistic.

the Fallen

Yeah, I like the 2011 reboot because it was almost exactly the same show!

Hopefully these "older" designs aren't, like, the entire shebang. I know what shebang I want

A little hype tho.