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March 29, 2024, 12:49:31 PM

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LEGEND GARY PART TWO

Started by Fambo Number Mive, August 28, 2019, 08:17:01 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Fambo Number Mive

Legend Gary is about to get his Boris Johnson arm tattoo removed but is told that he is now in the cabinet for the first time, as Minister for Cheese

Paul Calf

Gary runs out to get a BORIS 4 EVA tattoo on his other arm as Daz puts the phone down in tears of silent laughter.

Glebe

Gary compiles a list of "Best of British" which includes the following:

Jim Davidson

Greggs

Scotch eggs

Tommy Robinson

Littlejohn

Weatherspoons

shoulders

Legend Gary's favourite time of year is Easter. When asked why:

"Eggs, simple as."

wosl

#1954
Legend Gary loves a Scotch egg, but is pushing for a name change:

"Albion Highland eggs"

shoulders


Paul Calf


king_tubby

Legend Gary is walking to Downing Street with a bucket of fried chicken and a four pack of Carling Black Label.

shoulders

Legend Gary starts a vendetta against an obelisk.

Bum Flaps

Quote from: shoulders on July 06, 2022, 11:03:46 PMLegend Gary starts a vendetta against an obelisk.
... and Asterix, and the druid, and the whole lot of them (The French)

"No fighting potion for you Gary, remember that you fell into a vat of Stella when you were a baby!"

Glebe

Quote from: shoulders on July 06, 2022, 11:03:46 PMLegend Gary starts a vendetta against an obelisk.

G for Vendetta.

Chicory

A numb Legend Gary watches the Tory resignation tally with disbelief.  Later on, his phone meets a stampy end after the thirty eighth mocking text from Feelings Dean.

Glebe

"The Johnson resignation, Daz... it was the Lurpak crisis that did it," observes Gary, removing his reading glasses, leaning back and tenting his fingers intellectually.

shoulders

Legend Gary grabs a steak bake and battery powered air horn for jury service starting this morning. Honk once for paedo and twice for wrong un.

Glebe

"Three honks Gary?"

"Oh yeah sorry m'lud, that means cottager. Fancy a steak bake? That's not a euphemism, I ain't no homosexual. M'lud."

Glebe

"Okay Daz, it's time to step up to the plate... I've got to learn politics and join the Conservative party, with a view to becoming PM. Gotta finish the job Boris began."

dex

The Ledge is cut off from the James O'Brien phone in after a verbal swat aside from James dismantling one of Gary's logical fallacies over Boris results in Gary farting down the phone as a retort. A follow up call is made privately to the flat from the producers to which Daz answers "You didn't have to smell it, bruv. He's been on Stella and Spaghetti hoops since the news broke Boris was going."

Paul Calf

Quote from: dex on July 08, 2022, 09:06:27 AMThe Ledge is cut off from the James O'Brien phone in after a verbal swat aside from James dismantling one of Gary's logical fallacies over Boris results in Gary farting down the phone as a retort. A follow up call is made privately to the flat from the producers to which Daz answers "You didn't have to smell it, bruv. He's been on Stella and Spaghetti hoops since the news broke Boris was going."

As a result of this incident, Gary is now favourite for Tory leadership in the Boomer Brexit Red Wall despite not having a clue how to stand for the position.

Fambo Number Mive

Gary writes to Boris Johnson inviting him on a weekend pub crawl with the lads. "Any and all substances catered for and we've got a PS4 with a dozen games to choose from. You can sleep in Daz's bed, Daz is happy to share for a good cause.

Glebe

Gary decides to become a nihilist. "Let's face it Daz, world's fucked. I mean there's only one can of Stella left in the fridge, fuck this life!"

Paul Calf

"I wonder if that Nietzsche cunt had tight-arsed mates who wouldn't nip down the offie on a fridge-filling crusade? It'd explain a lot about the miserable fuck," continues Gary to no-one in particular. Daz. Daz.

Glebe

"At least we have food and clean drinking water and clothing and shelter Gary."

"Oh fuck me Mr. Nice Guy! Just get down that offie Daz! Fuck my life!"

Bum Flaps

Gary has the hots for Stella Braverman

jenna appleseed

Off topic but I still can't quite get it into my head that Suella Braverman is a real person and isn't just one of your lots joke names.

Glebe

Gary is binging old DVD-Rs of Police, Camera, Action!

Paul Calf

Quote from: jenna appleseed on July 10, 2022, 01:10:03 AMOff topic but I still can't quite get it into my head that Suella Braverman is a real person and isn't just one of your lots joke names.

She gives Gary a 'sweller' eh Daz?

Fambo Number Mive

Gary and the lads are asked to leave McDonalds for being topless. Gary considers blocking the drive through as a protest but can't be bothered to go home to get his car. They go to the park instead.

king_tubby

'Oh if Melinda Messenger came in here with her top off you wouldn't kick her out' Gary shouts at the bored 17 year old on the tills who has no idea what he's talking about.

Glebe

Gary is talking REALLY LOUD on the train. Six pack of Stella. REALLY LOUD. Intimidating.

Glebe

Diana Ross comes to play in Gary's town and ends up drinking cans in a field with him after the concert, "Fuckin great craic Gazza pass the joint."