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March 29, 2024, 07:10:08 AM

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LEGEND GARY PART TWO

Started by Fambo Number Mive, August 28, 2019, 08:17:01 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Glebe

Gary boils and mashes Daz and sticks 'im in a stew!

Fambo Number Mive

Gary and Daz answer the web's most searched questions.

Glebe

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on July 12, 2022, 02:49:23 PMGary and Daz answer the web's most searched questions.

One of the autosearches is 'gary stella'.

"Yes, I am quite fond of Stella! You like it too Daz, don't you?"

"Yes, and it's goodnight from me-"

"-and goodnight from him!"

(together) "Goodnight!"

Fambo Number Mive

Gary's backing Badenoch, Daz is going for Tugenhat because of his name while Steak Terry wants to know the candidates' views on steak before he votes.

Glebe

Gary is a self-proclaimed "avid fan of tits".

Glebe

Inspired by Soylent Green, Gary invents Daz Steakhouse Grills.

shoulders

Steak prices are going through the roof and there's pain at the tills Rishi, when are you going to sort it out

Paul Calf

Daz is arrested after sending his 174th threatening letter to Sunak warning him to exempt Stella from minimum alcohol pricing.

Glebe

"Gary you're gonna dehydrate yourself if you drink too much Stella!"

"What are you, me Mam, Daz?!? Get back down that offie an' fill that fridge up again! Fuck me, this paddling pool is smashing! Hurrah for global warming!"


Glebe

Gary is creating his own Love Island in the garden by getting the lads round, hiring a load of prostitutes and having Daz film it on his phone.

shoulders

Legend Gary spoils a nice evening out by bursting through the very centre of the back of a pizza with his face and yelling HEEEEERE'S GARY!

Sorry, correction, it wasn't a nice evening out.

Chicory

"You know what? Kaiser Chiefs are the best band ever" opines Pubes Daz.

Legend Gary crunches down another Dorito and nods sagely. "That they are, Pubes. That they are"

Fambo Number Mive

"If Rishi Sunak called me now Daz, I wouldn't answer and I would not return his call. Not after what he did to Boris. The snake!"

"It's very unlikely he'd call you Gary, unless he misdialled."

"You know what I mean Daz, it's the principle of the thing. Now Liz Truss, if she rang I'd answer it on the first ring. She makes me proud to be British with all those trade deals."

jenna appleseed

'I'd like to pork 'er markets. Know what I mean Daz?'

shoulders

Nothing like being woken up from a night terror to SOOOOOOOO SALLLLY CAN WAAAAAAAAAIT

SHHEEE KNOWS ITS TOOO LAAAAAATE


shoulders

Legend Gary says it's a shame Riga Tony is white but he's one of the good ones.

Chicory

Legend Gary is pensive. Anxiety? Depression? Stress? Nah, don't be a woofter. He's wondering if the purple in his piss since about late 2015 might not be Dark Fruit after all.

Glebe

"I'll tell you what lads, Daz is ever-so gay!"

"He's not ever-so," protests Larvel Trauma. "Bit gay but not ever-so!"

"Bit gay, ever-so, it's all the same, bruv. 'ere Steak, it's you're round!"

"Are we London characters now?" inquires Terrence. "I can never tell if we're Northerns or Southerners."

"'oo cares mate! What a palaver! Just get them lagers in before Daz gets 'ere! 'e's a liddle bit wooftie!" *does limp hand*

shoulders

Legend Gary on a carpet bombing mission of ultraviolence in the Europa Conference league, first stop Almaty.

shoulders

Legend Gary says the so-called safety harness on the local fairground ride can 'get cunted into the bin like all other woke rubbish'.

His head is found 3 hours later by a divot.

Glebe

"Our Brave Girls are gonna beat them kraut birds Daz!"

"Hurrah for womens' football!"

"I wouldn't go that far mate. Let them have their moment then back in the kitchen."

Blue Jam


shoulders

QuoteAnother jokingly commented: "My mate Dave's crazy. One time he only went and ordered fifty slices of cheese with his Nando's. What a total legend."

"They're laughing at us, Daz. We're the jokers and they're laughing at us. Ungrateful cunts!"

Glebe

Think we can add Nando's Dave to the Official Gariverse.

shoulders

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-wales-62289189

Snowdon? Pissed on more like!

... eh Daz?

Daz?!?!

Errr... Hello Daz.. Are yer dead?!

Glebe

Quote from: shoulders on July 30, 2022, 09:41:58 PMhttps://www.bbc.com/news/uk-wales-62289189

Snowdon? Pissed on more like!

... eh Daz?

Daz?!?!

Errr... Hello Daz.. Are yer dead?!

"Here lads I've commandeered the rescue helicopter!"


Glebe

"This Tory leadership race is a joke Daz. I 'distruss' Liz Truss and would much prefer to see Tommy Tugginhats in charge!"

Blue Jam

Quote from: Glebe on July 30, 2022, 06:51:34 PMThink we can add Nando's Dave to the Official Gariverse.

Nando's Dave downs a bottle of Vusa hot sauce. Orders some gelado to bung up his arse the next morning.

Glebe

"Fuck's sake Daz, it took 56 years to finally beat the Hun again... with women! So embarrassing!"

Blue Jam

Legend Gary admits that he did watch the open match of Euro 22 but decided not to bother the rest of the tournament once he learned that the joke about female players swapping shirts at the end really is just a joke.