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LEGEND GARY PART TWO

Started by Fambo Number Mive, August 28, 2019, 08:17:01 AM

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petril

Quote from: GMTV on September 11, 2019, 01:48:58 PM
Walks away shouting FUCK THE SEALS

he means himself. He's a time-served Navy SEAL in online arguments

Fambo Number Mive

"There will be no Legend Garys on a dead planet" one of them shouts as Gary reaches the stairs.


NJ Uncut

Quote from: petrilTanaka on September 11, 2019, 01:52:51 PM
he means himself. He's a time-served Navy SEAL in online arguments

Gary's well trained in using special force, if you know what he means...

He double-tapped Daz's mam! Aaahahahaha! Hahaha hehe he

Fuck're you not laughin Daz?

NJ Uncut

Gary accuses Daz of womanplaining

"What?"

Gary leathers Daz one.

"Ooow! The fuck you do that for mate?"

"SEE??"

NJ Uncut

Gary's forced to have a blood test at work, drug complaints. Luckily he was doing research drugs so weed n coke from the morning won't show up.

Nurse is fit, so he acts nice.

"You reckon I should give blood then, pet?"

"Well, that is quite the idea! The thing is, you have a very rare blood type!" she gushes.

"Ahh, no demand then". Gary gets up and walks off, the tube ripping off his arm and spilling his blood everywhere.

Glebe

"Fancy a cuppa, Gary?"

"GAY, Daz! Stella or nowt! Don't even drink water no more!"

Fambo Number Mive

Saw a headline in the Metro "You're a legend Gareth"
I think it was about a footballer doing something good. Clearly the sub ed doesn't read this forum.

Or do they?

Glebe

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on September 16, 2019, 05:11:49 PMSaw a headline in the Metro "You're a legend Gareth"
I think it was about a footballer doing something good. Clearly the sub ed doesn't read this forum.

Or do they?

Yes! CaB continues to invade the greater reality!

Meanwhile...

Daz's hand accidentally brushes against Gary's thigh when he sits down for a game of FIFA '19 with him.

"Fucking bender Daz! Ye touched me leg!"

"I nevah!"

"Y'did! Now neck a six-pack of Stella in five minutes or you did it on purpose!"

"Groan... fuck's sake, Ledge. Fuck's sake."

wosl

Legend Gary teaches a lairy hole-punch about the law of the jungle.

Brian Freeze

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on September 16, 2019, 05:11:49 PM
Saw a headline in the Metro "You're a legend Gareth"
I think it was about a footballer doing something good. Clearly the sub ed doesn't read this forum.

Or do they?

Someone has left a copy in the brew room - the story was about the welsh rugby player Gareth Thomas announcing he is HIV positive, then doing an Ironman. Now you know.

Fambo Number Mive

Cheers, I don't follow sport so I didn't pick up on who it was or what was newsworthy about them. Good for Gareth Thomas and I wish him all the best.

Serious post above.

Glebe

"Gary, there's a really interesting-looking film on at the local arthouse cinema. I know it's not something we'd normally go to, but do you fancy giving it a shot?"

"Nah, Daz, let's go to the Arndale Centre and slag people off."

"But Gary, this film looks really good, it's one of them dramas about social problems facing the youth of today. I think we'd really relate to it, do you want to give it a try?"

"Nah, Daz, Arndale. Slaggings."

"I'll even pay for your ticket, Gary. What do you say?"

"Nah Daz, Arndale."

"Oh come on, Gary! Just this once!"

"Arndale."

"I'll ask you one more time, then. Do you want to go to this interesting film?"

"Hmmm. You know what Daz, maybe. Just maybe..."

Half an hour later they're in the Arndale Centre, laughing at passers-by.

touchingcloth

Legend Gary goes for a big bowl of beer with the lads and tells the lads who the biggest legends are

-Gary
-Dazza
-Trev

They ain't all fucking or nothing.

Piggyoioi

LEGEND GARY takes a sloppy shit on his mate's paralytic head

Fambo Number Mive

Legend Gary dresses up as a crocodile and goes round supermarkets stealing sausages.


Glebe

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on September 18, 2019, 08:56:16 AM
Legend Gary dresses up as a crocodile and goes round supermarkets stealing sausages.

Heh!

Glebe

Daz describes the appearance of a CCTV camera outside the mini-mart as "Kafkaesque".

Fambo Number Mive

Following the story about his hero Mark Francois in a police top, Gary applies to become a Special Constable

"Gonna nick a few remoaners, Daz!"

madhair60

Legend Gary has a bent dream about Daz and signs up for a lobotomy.

Shoulders?-Stomach!


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary pranks his girlfriend by telling her what a slut she is.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary makes an impromptu cameo on the TV show Goodness Gracious Me

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Heaven sends a message to you every day via the phone in the back of your car. 'Hi its Legend Gary'

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary and his friends take in an epic picnic by the M25 to celebrate the end of the First World War.

Captain Z

Quote from: Glebe on September 19, 2019, 08:10:16 AM
Daz describes the appearance of a CCTV camera outside the mini-mart as "Kafkaesque".

Ohhh that's tickled me.

Shoulders?-Stomach!


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary boasts of taking an ecstasy pill of a drug that's not even legal to buy

petril

Legend Gary can get the best weed from back home, he'll bring a load back when he goes to the 'rents* next weekend.

Legend Gary says they had a full compliment of sniffer dogs at the train station, that's why he couldn't bring any back

NJ Uncut

Whist in Edinburgh, Gary meets his Scotch counterpart, Bampot Barry

"Haha, al show ye the wee rides!" Barry says.
"I want some cock burn the night!!" chortles Gary.

A passing old man says "That's nae even how ye pronounce it"

"" FUCKIN SHUT IT YOUS!" thunder Gary and Barry in unison. Auld cunt was gantin on a swedge

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Gary takes umbrage as Daz calls his legs 'varicose as fuck'