Comedy lines that just tickle the shit out of you Mk.II

Started by Benjaminos, March 10, 2020, 08:43:20 AM

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Fr.Bigley

"No, we can't give that away as a prize"


It's the protracted way Ted says prize so nonchalantly that makes me giggle more than other more obvious lines.

Mobius

Quote from: lankyguy95 on June 21, 2021, 06:01:34 PM
Kevin Nealon's "You got a minute?" every time he's on a chat show just as he goes to tell a story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDqVXg1nYS4

Loved that. Kevin is awesome.

jobotic

Not a huge fan of the US Office which my partner is watching every bloody night but there are usually a few lines that make me laugh.

I am a huge Woody Allen fan. Although I've only seen "Antz."

Gulftastic

'I wore a 15 pound beard of bees for that woman.'


The Mollusk

I come here with the intention of posting stuff often and almost always realise that typing the context of the joke sucks the energy out of the line I want to post. I have one today which I feel may be unidentifiable without that context but fuck it, I'm doing it.

"I'm not paying to cool the out of doors!"

McChesney Duntz

Quote from: The Mollusk on July 18, 2021, 02:07:23 PM
I come here with the intention of posting stuff often and almost always realise that typing the context of the joke sucks the energy out of the line I want to post. I have one today which I feel may be unidentifiable without that context but fuck it, I'm doing it.

"I'm not paying to cool the out of doors!"

One of my favorite lines ever, up there with the same gentleman's delivery of "IT'S NOT FOR YOU!!!" in another sketch from that show...

The Mollusk

Haha, glad it's not just me who loves that line maybe a bit too much, it is amazing.

I've been showing it to my fiancée recently and we were both in stitches at that, and also from the TTOMO sketch: "I ain't got no flyin' shoes."

Bernice

Greatest sketch show ever, I reckon.

And yeah, Bob has so many lines that are not that funny on paper but slay because of his delivery. Half of them are just stuck in my lexicon now.

eg "Keep the change"

jobotic

Olympus has Fallen is on in this room. Hilariously shit.

I made myself laugh when a bloke said "They've taken the White House" by having the other bloke say "Sorry? They've taken the what house?"

Damn, I'm good

kalowski

You know, not a day goes by without me thinking of the three voices that say "justice" in the Day Today death row sketch.
Love that they picked Martin Sheen.

Fr.Bigley

"with great power comes great responsitrilitrance"


The way Key delivers every line is stunning.

kalowski

Not much up top but who wants to shag Bamber Gascoigne? Not even Mrs Gascoigne.

keir


The Mollusk

"Yeah well hurry up about it because they're executing my best man in three days, and they ran out of the drugs so they're just gonna throw him off the roof."

Also same character, same episode:

"Great, and a condom of heroin exploded in my stomach this morning so this whole day has been for the birds."

TrenterPercenter

Quote from: kalowski on August 01, 2021, 10:34:52 AM
You know, not a day goes by without me thinking of the three voices that say "justice" in the Day Today death row sketch.
Love that they picked Martin Sheen.

I am the same; also can't help blurting out a Martin Sheen "Jurstice" when anyone says "Justice" in my presence.

Beef "a bounty baaar, the most coconutual of all the baaaaaaaaars"

That always pops into my head when I see one and I always laugh and buy one.

TrenterPercenter

Quote from: Kankurette on April 11, 2021, 07:52:18 PM
Rick: "Neil, the bathroom's free, unlike the country under the Thatcherite junta."

ETA: I have too many favourite Simpsons quotes to mention. Bart reading off Homer's cue cards and going, "Hello, Mr...Kurns? I bad want...money now. Me sick. So pick please me, Mr Burns," always makes me laugh.

"Oh he card reads good"

See also always sunny https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSpBlk7J4rk

Steven88

From One Foot in the Grave

I mean, this is the end to a perfect week, isn't it?

To come home and find your husband has taken up necrophilia!

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

Quote from: Steven88 on September 27, 2021, 12:06:30 AM
From One Foot in the Grave

I mean, this is the end to a perfect week, isn't it?

To come home and find your husband has taken up necrophilia!
Margaret got the best rants in that series.

HamishMacbeth

"He said it was just a name!"
"What he meant was that Monster Island is actually a peninsula."

shlug

"The Chinese; a great bunch of lads"

Dougal doing the little pat on the lad's shoulder just kills me with how patronizing and tasteless the whole presentation is.

kalowski

"Can't you just hear it going 'Brrrrrrrrrrr'? No you can't, because it's a power rammer not a power drill. It would go 'Ka-chunk ka-chunk'."

HamishMacbeth

Quote from: Steven88 on September 27, 2021, 12:06:30 AM
From One Foot in the Grave

I mean, this is the end to a perfect week, isn't it?

To come home and find your husband has taken up necrophilia!

Yesterday's comedy become's Today's news.

Fr.Bigley