Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, June 02, 2020, 09:29:27 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Glebe

Bought new earbuds, they're broken (real life deso).

shoulders

So threadless and wan that your big investment, a team bonding centre PISSER ZONE isn't even spelt correctly.

buttgammon


Glebe

Your nervous anxiety evolves into an actual living being and start badgering you for food stamps.

shoulders

Airport shuttle bus driver stops the vehicle and chokeslams a screaming baby into pram grave. After the death he does the whole 'pointing at you, you're next' thing at a Malian.

frajer

You are forced into a loveless marriage to a block of tofu, which leaves half-cups of tea out to go stone cold so often, you can only presume it's deliberate.

shoulders

Wake in Birmingham NCP. Wiping up tears with parking receipts, smell 'reminds me of Dad'

shoulders

"Dad was very particular about which NCP"

Glebe

There shittest git in town shambles up to you and starts gurning in your depressed face, another fine day in Shittigan's Village!

batwings

As Christmas approaches, a deep dread forms within Eamonn Holmes' primary tapeworm.

Cuellar

The Society of Pub Homunculi convene an exceptional general meeting to eject you for being 'a bit too much of an homunculus'

dex

That horrible, sweaty shitty smell that comes from your "inny" bellybutton is bottled up and put into your Glade plug-ins.

frajer

You wake from a dream of eating a delicious baguette to find the baby's arm is gone.

Cuellar

Chris 'Penis' Johnson deems you unworthy of respect

Glebe

Nothing like a bit of peace and quiet - but it's too quiet, and I am become bored and anxious!

Glebe

If you're not going to finish that out-of-date scotch egg, Neggie Bumpkins will have it!

Glebe

A flaccid glans earns you two weeks on the duncing stool.

pancreas

After reading a story in the local paper, you resolve to up your domestic violence game.

Glebe

Craig of Sheffield lives in fear of being accused of noncery.

H-O-W-L

A children's party clown is dragged out of his car and drubbed senseless with a pipe by botherer bastards on his way to a party.

H-O-W-L

Laughing raucously, the CEO of The Bastard Company signs off on yet another thousand killings.

H-O-W-L

What you hoped was a rubber jonny floating toward you during a dawnlight Channel swim turns out to be a severed hand.

Your screams go unheard as your corkscrewing body is hurtled from your starship cockpit, into the humming laser grid of a payday loan billboard.

shoulders

Your colongender mate ostracises you from a sex party for not being anus enough.

Ferris

Quote from: H-O-W-L on November 28, 2021, 03:57:17 PMLaughing raucously, the CEO of The Bastard Company signs off on yet another thousand killings.

Very good

Glebe

Your bad mood won't shift and eventually just moves in with you.

frajer

A sobbing seaside donkey picks you out of the police line-up without hesitation. He's still wearing his little straw hat with holes for his ears to poke out, the ones your brain deemed so provocative.

shoulders

Your new energy deal has the title 'Punishment, Suffering and Despair Tariff'.


Catalogue of ills

Quote from: Cuellar on November 26, 2021, 09:53:07 PMThe Society of Pub Homunculi convene an exceptional general meeting to eject you for being 'a bit too much of an homunculus'

Very good, I like

touchingcloth

Belted up the arse by Robson while Jerome watches, fapping away with a face like fucking thunder.

Glebe

Greggs disaster leaves kitchen staff in tears, manager disconsolate and several customers covered in human excrement.