Top of the Pops on BBC Four - Thread Three

[dissolute ocelot]

Say what you like about Radio One DJs, at least when they talked over a record it was deliberate, this lot of cool new presenters just can't get it right.

I remember watching the Jacko video at the time, and thinking "what the fuck was that?" It all came back to me, you think it's over, the cat's maybe going to wander off and that'll definitely be it, then he starts fucking dancing without any music like he's Michael Fucking Clark. In 1991 I'm not sure how familiar I was with Macauley Culkin or Bart Simpson or any of the other small-boy-related pop culture Jacko loved, but I definitely knew Jacko was past his prime.

Loved the washing machines in the Dizzy video. It seemed the sort of thing a band like The Wonderstuff would think "let's go on tour with a backdrop of washing machines as a comment on consumerism" before discovering that lugging a dozen front-loaders in and out of a van was not the glamourous life on the road that music videos had promised to them (or was it more of a Ned's Atomic Dustbin thing?)

[Oh, Nobody]

Loved the washing machines in the Dizzy video. It seemed the sort of thing a band like The Wonderstuff would think "let's go on tour with a backdrop of washing machines as a comment on consumerism" before discovering that lugging a dozen front-loaders in and out of a van was not the glamourous life on the road that music videos had promised to them (or was it more of a Ned's Atomic Dustbin thing?)

Song has the lyric 'like a whirlpool' and Whirlpool is a brand of washing machine.

Could be the other stuff too, why not.

[A Hat Like That]

We all glad it wasn't an Ariston, then?

[gilbertharding]

There were microwaves on top of the washing machines too.

I always thought they were just supposed to be parodies of Marshall Stacks, but I never twigged the 'whirlpool' joke.

[Pauline Walnuts]

Loved the washing machines in the Dizzy video. It seemed the sort of thing a band like The Wonderstuff would think "let's go on tour with a backdrop of washing machines as a comment on consumerism" before discovering that lugging a dozen front-loaders in and out of a van was not the glamourous life on the road that music videos had promised to them

Unless you've got a army of roadies

https://youtu.be/nhcM_hx0zxw?t=264

[buzby]

Song has the lyric 'like a whirlpool' and Whirlpool is a brand of washing machine.

Could be the other stuff too, why not.

1991 was just after Whirlpool (a US company) had taken over Philips' domestic appliance division and started marketing their products as Whirlpool in the UK too.

[Norton Canes]

[NB - Since I deleted all my cookies (don't ask), the as-you-type spell check has disappeared from CaB reply fields. So just to ward you I'm not likely to spot all the typos]

28 November 1991: Presenters: Adrian ROse & Tony DOrtie

Right. Where do I even start with this? For one thing, I didn't even know when to watch it. Straight after download, on my PC here? Or do I become a slave to tradition and make sure I watch it on the big telly on a Friday night? That could set an awkward precedent, because what do I do if downloaded episodes fall between the two broadcast ones? Watch the download instead of the second episode then have to watch the second episode on catch-up? Gah! See what you've done here mister so-called Adrian so-called Rose or whatever more virile surname you've chosen in a blatant attempt to address an uncomfortable crisis of masculinity? Sake, why not change it again to Adrian COCKTHRUST if you really want to get the message across

...

Anyway.

See, this is the thin end of the wedge. You get M People on to perform a vaguely credible club-freindly song and before you know it you've opened the flood gates to any bozo in a bomber jacket straight over from Milan to peddle their cheesy dance grot. OFFS, I've just discovered Top Of The Pops Facts isn't doing the Rose editions. And I really wanted to find out more about this fascinating act. A psychiatrist you say, Tony? That'll be handy if anyone needs a straightjacket.

Should I do these in order? Oh go on then, if only because it means we can get this shitshow from Nirvana out the way. Sorry but this is a shocker lads, you had the chance to put in a proper legendary - one could even drop the I-bomb and say iconic - performance here and you fucked it royally for laffs. Not even the stage invasion can save it, though the gleeful gasp from the girl in the audience who's presumably seen a studio manager herding ver kids forward is priceless. Know something, Kurt? Sometimes the most rebellious thing you can do is play along.

BTW I saw a list the other day of TOTP stage invasions (there were only half a dozen or so apparently) and forgot to bookmark it, which is annoying.

Thankfully James are along to inject a note of quality and class. Saw Shaun Ryder in conversation the other night (on stage with an interviewer I mean, not just down the pub) and he spent the whole opening five minutes of his appearance, right from the first word, telling us in that inimitably avuncular way of his that Tim Booth was a complete dickhead. And to be fair you could see how that might easily be the case, even without having ever met the man. Still, the gentle expanse of Sound with its plaintive wails are one of the band's best efforts and they present an agreeably mottley charade.

George and Mildred can absolutely do one. These interminable 'exclusives' are killing the shows stone dead. All the more reson to welcome Altern 8, with droog in tow, who become only the second band after All About Eve to be invited back to have a second crack at a performance of a song after a first attempt when no discernable singing emerged. "This is Claire", bless.

Okay I'm a shock you here (that's not a typo, I'm employing contemporary vernacular) but I'm getting to quite like Black or White. That simple but insistent jangly riff lends it almost a... well not a hippy vibe exactly, but... look I don't want to invoke the 'P' word here because no comparisons are flattering but it's almost akin to the effervescent sound Prince went for with the Around the World in a Day singles or even Kiss (yes, I know, sacrilege). It's certainly an improvement on the clattering, hollow sound of the Bad album. I remember thinking at the time, and I reckon it still holds true, that this song would have been appreciated more on its own merits had it been released with a bit less of the relentless overbearing hype that acccomanied Dangerous. But by this stage of his career, that wasn't what Jackson was about.

And, finally... ah, it's tragic. The gaunt face, the sunken eyes, he looks like an absolute shadow of a man...

Spoiler alert

hi Adrian!

[close]

No, seriously, very seriously in fact, it's the Freddie trib, and I notice that it's run without credits, something I'd be surprised if the unions hadn't kicked up a fuss over, dead AIDS rock star or no dead AIDS rock star. Also, I have to say, I was disappointed Tony didn't end with a suitably downbeat 'Laterz'.   

[daf]

and I notice that it's run without credits,

Should have run it without the music!!!

[Norton Canes]

I've just downloaded the 19th December edition and watched the first minute or so to check the picture quality. Holy shit... talk about performances you have no memory of whatsoever.

[Norton Canes]

And now, even worse news: Kerr Avon has refused to join the upcoming Blakes 7 reunion, it was all ready to go ahead with the others on board but aparrently he's a big shot in the Federation now, a Governor or something, he calls himself Kerr Fuckthrust and is a bit embarrassed about his past as a wanted fugutive. It's such a shame because Jenna Stannis isn't getting much work these days and the chance to defraud a few Federation accounts would really have helped put some food on her table. Blake's been absolutely brilliant, Dweeting along on his holo-feed: "Oh man, I can't believe I fluffed that raid on Star One! I was such a prat! Thereafterz!"

...

it's not really working is it

[monkfromhavana]

Nirvana's massive hit "Smells Like Teen" followed up by 'Running Out Of Time' by Digital Orgasm. Name changes all over the place. Digital Orgasm were also probably told to tone down their live performance, as when they performed as Praga Khan or Lords Of Acid, all manner of sexy paraphenalia and lewd behaviour was part of the show.

Extacy by Shades Of Rhythm is a belter.

[monkfromhavana]

It's no 'Mistletoe & Wine' is it Cliff? I did like his hand gestures though, it looked as if he was going to do a gunfinger at one point but he pulled out of it at the last moment and turned it into a simple "point at a member of the crowd".

[daf]

Nirvana's massive hit "Smells Like Teen" followed up by 'Running Out Of Time' by Digital Orgasm. Name changes all over the place.

No Tone - that's WORSE!! #accidentalnonce

[Icehaven]

Think Trent Reznor ripped his look off Martika few years later.

[daf]

5 December 1991: Presenters: Elayne SMith & Mark Fr@nklin

(16) | SHADES OF RHYTHM – Extacy
(15) | ERASURE – Am I Right?
(11) | SIMPLY RED – Stars
NEW | GUNS N' ROSES – Live And Let Die (video)
(04) | DIANA ROSS – When You Tell Me That You Love Me
- - - - - - - - - - - (Breakers) - - - - - - - - - - - -
(21) | CLIFF RICHARD – We Should Be Together (video)
(17) | SALT-N-PEPA – You Showed Me (video)
(14) | BRIAN MAY – Driven By You (video)
(13) | KATE BUSH – Rocket Man (video)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -



(05) | THE K.L.F. feat. TAMMY WYNETTE – Justified And Ancient
(01) | GEORGE MICHAEL & ELTON JOHN – Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me (video)

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[Pauline Walnuts]

Good lord, that Guns and Roses cover was embarrassing, Axel apologies to Wings right now for what you did.

[monkfromhavana]

Good lord, that Guns and Roses cover was embarrassing, Axel apologies to Wings right now for what you did.

I quite like it.

[A Hat Like That]

When we went through the hairmetal era, it struck me how few songs seemed to make that much of an imprint on TOTP. And how many that did were, well, a bit pish.

That one? Great song, proper performance. You can see why Guns and Roses were huge.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Not a fan of the new gigantic bbc FOUR DOG.

[Norton Canes]

Ooh. CaB gets its own Year Zero revamp. Let's hope everyone's signed up.

You know what? I think I've been so preoccupied with all the decent stuff we're going to miss from the Rose shows I've taken my eye off the ball and forgotten how many brilliant performances we're going to see on the actual broadcast ones - and there are some proper bangers.

KLF take top spot in the first show of course, as they have done with pretty well all of their studio appearances, but Elayne Smith almost steals their thunder with that shock pop-up from the ice cream van. Speaking of which, she's better in this, her second and last slot but hmm, that's another edit after Diana Ross. BTW were the KLF handing out hoodies to the front row?

Shades of Rhythm add to the roster of class recent rave acts - you know, I think there's some mileage in a BBC FOUR compilation of '91/'92's rave act TOTP performances compilation - if for no other reason than giving some of the Rose'd acts some deserved airtime. Simply Red showcase their luscious leisurewear - mmm, it's so loose - and Diana Ross is worth every second for nothing apart than that proto-emo determinedly chewing gum behind her plinth. "Mum! Mum! What was it like when you were in the audience for Top of the Pops?" "Ah it were shite love, this old woman tried to flick me with her dress"

Plus Mark appears to be exaggerating with that LP tally (though not sure for what effect - possibly sarcasm?) as according to Wiki, at least, 'When You Tell Me...' was from La Ross's 19th studio album

And as for Erasure... you know that bit in Pulp Fiction where the guy shoots at Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolata, and succeeds only in peppering the wall with bullets, even though it was actually harder to miss them? Well it's a bit like that with choosing singles from the Chorus album - even if you shut your eyes and picked at random it would be almost impossible not to end up choosing at least a couple of better tracks than the four they went with. I mean Am I Right is okay, it's got a nice relaxed almost Pet Shop Boys type vibe but though it's a fine album track it's not a great single.

Anyway.

I've just realised - at least I think I have - that the costumes worn by Shades of Rhythm were what they wore at gigs anyway, and not Christmas fancy dress

[Better Midlands]

you know, I think there's some mileage in a BBC FOUR compilation of '91/'92's rave act TOTP performances compilation

For sure, shame The Prodigy never did the show though.

[monkfromhavana]

I've just realised - at least I think I have - that the costumes worn by Shades of Rhythm were what they wore at gigs anyway, and not Christmas fancy dress

They're still chugging along on the old skool circuit with (seemingly) bookings every weekend. They were one of the successful rave acts who got a bit lost after the rave scene went back to being a bit less poptastic. They put out a few house tunes, then in the late 90s put out some Prodigy "Fat Of The Land" style singles to no success. The last time I saw them do a PA in about 1998, the singer/MC Rayan was coming onto stage in a big inflatable sphere a la Keith.

I always thought that their first big hit "Sweet Sensation" was a bit crap, then I heard it as their first tune on a PA and it nearly took my head off.

Anyway, follow them on Facebook etc and they seem like a great bunch of lads.

[daf]

12 December 1991: Presenters: Claudia SimOn & Tony DOrtie

(37) | CATHY DENNIS – Everybody Move
(36) | DIGITAL – Running Out Of Time
(19) | CLIFF RICHARD – We Should Be Together
(07) | KYM SIMS – Too Blind To See It (video)
(15) | SALT-N-PEPA – You Showed Me
(17) | RIGHT SAID FRED feat. JOCELYN BROWN – Don't Talk Just Kiss
- - - - - - - - - - - (Breakers) - - - - - - - - - - - -
(25) | JASON DONOVAN – The Joseph Mega Remix (video)
(20) | U.K. MIXMASTERS – Bare Necessities Megamix (video)
(13) | U2 – Mysterious Ways (video)
(09) | NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK – If You Go Away (video)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(23) | MARTIKA – Martika's Kitchen



(01) | GEORGE MICHAEL & ELTON JOHN – Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me (video)

[monkfromhavana]

For sure, shame The Prodigy never did the show though.

It'd probably look something like this:

[Norton Canes]

And if the 5/12 show boasts more decent songs than usual then 12/12 is positively bursting out all over with 'em (not you, Cliff. Sorry mate). In fact it's an indication of how stacked this episode is that U2's rather brilliant Mysterious Ways, the best baggy single ever recorded, is relegated to the breakers and indeed won't ever be played in full - the greatest travesty of this nature since Depeche Mode's Never Let Me Down Again suffered a similar fate in 1987. 

So, skipping a tepid opener from Cathy Dennis (has there ever been a good 5th single from an album?) we find ourselves in the presence of Belgian royalty with Digital and their ruined Orgasm a.k.a. Lords of Acid gracing the studio to provide us with some post-New Beat frenzy. Kim Syms is on hand to instantly dispel the post-Richard deso - "No man in the world..." what, Kym? Don't leave us hanging - then the stage is stripped for Salt 'N' Pepa to test the tensile strength of PVC and groove on a Byrds jam with a trio of weirdly dungaree-clad dancers. I reckon there were some heated arguments each night between the guys over who ended up wearing the silver pair. How fantastic is it that they stage a stand-up argument between one of them and Spinderella? It's all totally brilliant, and nice that they beat acts like En Vogue to doing this kind of set.

We then get the extraordinary sight of a veritable stampede behind Tony as the crowd practically trample each other underfoot to get over to Right Said Fred. Steady, kids, someone'll get hurt! I can't imagine the PVC marketing board were quite as delighted to see Richard Fairbrass's saggy kecks as they were Salt 'N' Pepa's tautly-clad derrières. I wonder if Claudia was moved up to the gantry to avoid the twat mugging away behind her in her last link?

Last up it's Martika who brings not just the sound but the spirit of Prince into her act. He clearly didn't want anything to go out under if his name if it wasn't 100% on-brand and accordingly this is like a little bit of the Paisley experience come to TOTP. The extended version features a rap - I can't find a transcript online so have a listen if you feel you need further clarification of 'Martika's kitchen'...

[Better Midlands]

"No man in the world..." what, Kym? Don't leave us hanging

 Can let go of this Aquarian

[close]

@3.20

[Norton Canes]

Brilliant.

[Norton Canes]

Just realised, even worse than Mysterious Ways only making it as far as the Breakers, Prince's very own excursion into the charts with the title track from 'Diamonds and Pearls' doesn't make it onto the programme at all, having debuted at 25 on the 5/12 edition and dropped to 26 the week after. Travesty!

Top 40's for 5/12 | 12/12

I should have attributed that Martika rap to long-term Prince collaborator Tony M, too.

[daf]

19 December 1991: Presenters: Steve AndersOn & Adrian ROse

(14) | U.K. MIXMASTERS – Bare Necessities Megamix
(06) | BRIAN MAY – Driven By You (video)
(13) | SHAFT – Roobarb And Custard
(05) | GUNS N' ROSES – Live And Let Die (video)
(35) | LISA STANSFIELD – All Woman
- - - - - - - - - - - (Breakers) - - - - - - - - - - - -
(32) | SIMON & GARFUNKEL – Hazy Shade Of Winter (video)
(24) | PET SHOP BOYS – Was It Worth It? (video)
(16) | HAMMER – Addams Groove (video)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -



(26) | HUMAN RESOURCE – The Complete Dominator
(01) | QUEEN – Bohemian Rhapsody (video)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -




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19 December 1991 link

https://wetransfer.com/downloads/3aa8bf9bdfb2ba22e7d4f3151bc6bddf20211122110902/728cbd

[close]

[Dr Rock]

(26) | HUMAN RESOURCE – The Complete Dominator

TUNE

Though I remember my gf at the time going right off them after this appearance.