Top of the Pops on BBC Four - Thread Three

[Norton Canes]

I'm back from the wine tasting. I'm in position. Bring it on

[cosmic-hearse]

Evan Dando's Morrissey impression was much better than Kurt Cobain's

[daf]

Feel the bums

[daf]

Oh those Germans!

[daf]

Huston, we have a Blobblem

[Icehaven]

I'm back from the wine tasting. I'm in position. Bring it on

Bloody hell you must have necked it.

[Norton Canes]

Ha ha I so did

[daf]

Beeply Baldy

[Icehaven]

Oh no, reNailed.

[daf]

That's Singin' Alright!

[daf]

Saxual Squealing

[daf]

Rickaaaaaaay!

[Norton Canes]

Ooooh I'm feeling a bit the worse for wear. Turned out Top Of The Tops was just the filling in a debauched sandwich of an evening where one slice of bread was the unlimited wine wine tasting and the other was a few hours at an emo-themed retro club night. So I'm now sat here, mascara-streaked and with one torn epaulet hanging forlornly from my black parade jacket, nursing a evil, tannin-assisted hangover. Talk about burning the candle at both ends. Actually they could've combined the two events, couldn't they. What do an emo and a sommelier have in common? They both, like, whine (like wine)

Sorry

What then can rouse me from my torpid state? Lots of San Francisco Bay Coffee 'Columbian Supremo' (ha! 'super-emo') that's for sure, but also the 'Favourite studio performance' I alluded to on the previous page; yes, they've saved the best almost to last, as The Shamen's superlative slice of surreal, psychedelic panto gets my nod, leaving the rest of the field trailing in its wake. It's so very good, in fact, that entirety of the Year Zero era would be emphatically vindicated if it happened simply so this performance could exist, on the large stage with live vocals. Colin and Mr. C (the real C&C music factory) fill their roles perfectly of course (anyone else find face card illustrations just a little bit scary?), the caterpillar's indescribably brilliant and the twin Johnsons are another lovely touch (what, no Cheshire Cat?) but it's Jhelisa stealing the show again, perched provocatively on that swing (I wonder if Richard from Kinross was watching this?) with her blond wig pushed insouciantly back. I can only assume she didn't want to pursue a mainstream career after coming into the limelight with The Shamen because surely record labels were queueing up to get her peddling the sort of chart slush that scores of lesser female vocalists foist upon us instead. Also, I just think it's a crying shame The Shamen's chart success didn't inspire other bands to make similarly progressive but chart-friendly dance music with a bit of a forward-thinking philosophy. We could have had a wave of that sort of thing to counteract the tsunami of clubbed-up covers which instead predominated (and might even have held the tide of retrograde Britpop at bay). You're right, Tony, they did carve up the chart in '92, but no-one took up their mantle. Still: "Keep generating, joy making... keep dreaming on, Phorever People".

Oh and wait, hang on... the Jack of Clubs... yes very good

Sadly, then, instead of The Shamen's vision of positivity we get the nightmare glimpse of the future that's Mr. Blobby - though perhaps mercifully, because the TOTP presenters are now kept mostly out of vision, his appearances only bookend the show. I suppose you could say we dodged a bullet, though it would've been a whole lot more entertaining if he'd been given licence to crash a few of the studio turns. By preference I think I would have liked him to have seen him bundle an unsuspecting  Lisa Stansfield but it would've been interesting to see Evan Dando's reaction too. East Side Beat... ah, I forget which covers act is which now... yeah they were Ride Like The Wind weren't they, last seen opening for Nirvana on the 28/11/91 show. Are these actually the Sky Strikers? Whoever they are they've got some frankly bizarre choreography going on, with Charleston and ballet moves thrown into the mix. The song's Sky Sports Premier League ad-inspired, of course, though going by the shirts, they appear to be pushing an early form of the European Super League. Silly! Don't they know that signing up for the ESL precludes you from any moral legitimacy to win domestic league or UEFA trophies? Oh hang on they're Italian aren't they, that explains it. Look there's not much more I want to say about this beacuse frankly the singer looks and dresses exactly like my sister's evil ex (and sings about as well too), so time to move on.

Good to see that news of the current craze for megamixes spread all the way to Miami, and that Gloria had a spare five minutes to knock one up. I love the twee little chords that end it. No fades here! Yeah, there's definitely a Blobby-sized hole in that Lemonheads line-up. Look, Evan even upends himself in the absence of any polkadot-costumed tomfoolery. East Side Beat must have thought the show had an obsession with American grunge vocalists doing Morrissey impressions. And speaking of which, Tony gets a chnce to prove he really doesn't wanna let that grudge go, even though it's an imaginary grudge he's completely invented on his own for reasons that are utterly unfathomable to everyone else. Let it go Tony! Christ that Slipstreem vid is total deso. Luckily The Wedding Present are swiftly along to cheer us up by reminding us they won't be inflicting any more singles on us for a while, thank fuck.

Lisa Stansfield previews a strikingly utilitarian new look that a wag on TOTP Facts labelled "foxy binman", and I can't do any better than that, so I'll just mention the song's sax break and say that if the Chart Music podcast crew gave a frozen shit about 1992 they might notice it and amend their records accordingly.

Nobel Paed Prize, more like. 

"Blobby, standing in the crowd, wearing your shirt
Blobby, you'd rather be on stage, how that must hurt
You fucked over Morecambe with your tawdry theme park
The council sued Edmonds, The Fraudulent Shark (is the name I would give a pub, if I ever opened one)
Blobby, to be blunt, what a cunt"

Right I'm off, gonna need a run-up at that bumper Xmas extravaganza. Also I need to take a scourer and some turps to this kohl. If it doesn't work I'll be rocking the sad panda look for a few days. I don't even like emo

[daf]

17 December 1992: Presenters: Tony DOrtie & Mr. BlObby

(07) | THE SHAMEN – Phorever People



(06) | MADONNA – Deeper And Deeper (video & charts)
(26) | EAST SIDE BEAT – Alive And Kicking
(16) | GLORIA ESTEFAN – Miami Hit Mix (via satellite)
(20) | THE LEMONHEADS – Mrs. Robinson
- - - - - - - - - - - (Breakers) - - - - - - - - - - - -
(28) | NIRVANA – In Bloom (video)
(27) | SLIPSTREEM – We Are Raving – The Anthem (video)
(25) | THE WEDDING PRESENT – No Christmas (video)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(19) | LISA STANSFIELD – Someday (I'm Coming Back)
(02) | MICHAEL JACKSON – Heal The World (video)
(10) | BONEY M – Boney M. Megamix
(01) | WHITNEY HOUSTON – I Will Always Love You (video)

[bigfatheart]

As soon as 'Phorever People' started my reaction was basically "Ah yeah, this'll be what Norton was on about coming up this week". I'd seen this before on the Christmas Hits episode, and watching it now it occurred to me that when the Year Zero revamp started I was basically expecting it to be all like this, because my main reference points for this era were this and 'Blue Room'. I was expecting two and a half years of the maddest shit, and while we're definitely getting a lot more memorable performances than before it does perhaps show the difference between a genuinely creative group like the Shamen, who seem at home with this approach and seem to draw energy from it, and, oh, let's say Undercover, whose idea of 'something a bit different' is standing next to a boat or whatever it was they did.

Which brings us on to East Side Beat, or as they're known in their native Italy, Sotto Copertura. This sort of shit is going to be fucking off soon, isn't it? I had a look and this lot, KWS and Undercover don't have any further appearances after these two episodes, and while I know naff covers are here to stay, I mean specifically this style of dance cover for people who don't really like dance music, tasteless and crass and redcoat and yet somehow managing to feel... not exactly middlebrow, but whatever it is (no, Tony, it's not drum 'n' bass) it's too wimpy and weedy to truly embrace vulgarity and baseness. The music you'd expect to hear rattling around Matt Forde's brain. It's fucking off, right?

You certainly can't accuse Slipstreem of not embracing vulgarity and baseness. Christ. It looks like we'll be getting a full in-studio performance of this next week, although after Mariogate I don't want to get my hopes up. I can only hope they bring that borderline libellous Rod Stewart impersonator with them.

So what else? Umm. I sort of feel like the Wedding Present missed a trick by not putting out a Megamix of the Hit Parade songs in January 1993. Would've been a nice gag. Tony's still unusually obsessed with Nirvana's hygiene. Did Boney M (Phoney M? Faux-ney M?) really need a second booking? Oh, and at least we know that Mr Blobby signed off on his image rights. Was worried for a bit that Noel might have put his old mate Smitty up to squeezing into the costume, or maybe Adrian Rose had negotiated one last incognito appearance.

Christmas then! This particular era of Christmas episodes is a bit hard to dissect, I suppose, since they've cut down the number of studio appearances drastically compared to the olden days and essentially dedicated half the show to a glorified Breakers section. And those that do appear in-studio are very much those that are available, with it not being particularly likely that KWS or Undercover or Jimmy Nail had to be flown back from their arena tour of North America to grace the studio. Still, the Christmas trappings, coupled with the big studio space and scope for props and costumes should allow them to create something memorable and... oh wait, no, they're all just doing the exact same stuff as usual surrounded by fake snow.

Well, OK, Undercover have at least provided us with some scantily-clad backing dancers, much to RICKAY's visible appreciation. And Jimmy Nail's being backed by a caricature of himself, so that's nice:

To be fair to the show, the arrival of SATELLITE PERFORMANCES allows a few bigger stars... well, a few Americans, anyway. Which means GET IN we get a reprise of 'I Love Your Smile'. I presume, given they were both on Motown and clearly in the same studio, that she might be there mostly to ensure Boyz II Men's participation, which, if true, justifies Boyz II Men entirely for me (well, that and the Michael Jackson joke). And maybe I've spent too much of the last week watching the new Kids in the Hall, but when I saw that picture of the Queen hovering over Charles & Eddie in Toronto, I was mostly just hoping for Scott Thompson to show up as the Cunt of Death. Sadly, not to be, but it's still my favourite number one of the year, so that's nice.

Ah, let's round everything else up as bullet points, since that's basically what these Christmas episodes do:

• I was right when I said I'd be happy to hear 'Goodnight Girl' again. I can't imagine the circumstances in which I'll hear it again in my life - definitely not out of choice - but as a farewell to a pleasant and catchy song, I was happy.
• Cruel of them to cut off 'Justified and Ancient' just before the chorus - especially just to throw us into Kylie's ropey Chairmen of the Board cover.
• It felt weird for 'Stay' to get lumped in with the video clips, seeing as it was such a big hit - I'm presuming that Siobhan and Marcella were too busy or utterly fucking despised each other too much to show up, but surely for such a big hit you'd make an exception and shove in a repeat of one of the performances from earlier in the year?
• Gargh, I'd forgotten about Mr. Big. FUCK OFF!
• Didn't really feel like anything Right Said Fred did onstage merited Mark Franklin referring to them as 'bonkers' (or whatever he said, I can't be arsed to go back and check), so I can only presume he'd had a premonition of the future and was trying to warn us all.
• Sisters of Mercy were a baffling choice for the Christmas show, right?
• Ah, I know it was a number 2 hit and all, but... it seems very cruel to show even the brief snippet of 'Raving I'm Raving' that we got.
• "Smartes".
• Evidently Tony's already decided that Billy Ray Cyrus will be a one hit wonder, seeing as he feels so comfortable slagging him off without fear of Billy Ray making a return to the Top of the Pops studio to give him a good shoeing in his achey breaky face.
• Twenty years on from the '72 Christmas special, when Michael Jackson put in a shit-hot studio appearance for 'Rockin' Robin', he deigns us with his presence here... for a mumbled, rambling video message about the true meaning of Christmas or something. Just depressing.

Right, that's 1992 - usually held up as one of the worst, maybe even the very worst, years for music, but I'm tempted to say that, as seen through the eyes of Top of the Pops, it was a slight improvement on 1991. But then I might be thrown by the fact that I think Top of the Pops was better in 1992 than 1991. Other people's thoughts?

[Norton Canes]

"Where were you in '92? Where were you in '92? '92? '92?"

Utah Saints, TLC, Richard Marx, Opus III
INXS, S.O.S., SL2, KWS
Kriss Kross, Roseblocks, Toxic Two
John Secada, Betty Boo
Tasmin Archer, Boyz II Men
Annie Lennox, Bjorn Again
Femi Oke, Ride, Take That
Geldof acting like a twat
Vocalists who couldn't sing
Dr Alban, Senseless Things
Future Sound of London, Hit
Right Said Fred are deeply shit
Weller, Donovan, Minogue
Shut 'Em Down, U2, En Vogue
Endless shite EXCLUSIVeS played
First time round for Brett and Suede
The Shamen, Stereo MC's
Shakespears Sister, MSP's
Everybody In The Place
Tony, that's not drum n' bass
Now it's through, always knew
'92, ILU

What?

Well I thought it was a good use of three hours

So what was it about doing the show at Christmas that suddenly made them think, hey, let's get the presenters together - in shot, showing a bit of chemistry - for all the links, surrounded by punters who look like they're actually enjoying themselves... I mean it wasn't like it was a formula that had proved its worth for the past twenty eight years or anything, was it. The ghost of TOTP past must have visited Stanley Appel, I guess.

Yeah I reckon bullet points will do for the highlights. Let's shoot through, you can spend too long on this shit you know

• Has I Love Your Smile always had that that bit where the lyrics go really dark? "But when I'm caught all alone, I start fessin'/It's from state of depression/And then the thunder clouds of doubt move in" - it all threatens to go a bit Muse at that point
• That little bit of needle by the Christmas tree where Mark gets a dig in at Tony's size, immediately realises he's out of line and lets his unflappable facade drop with a ludicrously nervous chuckle
• 'Deeply Dipply'? Come on Tony, FFS!
• The cunning new technique Richard Fairbrass uses to disguise his shit singing, which involves adding more extraneous words of encouragement to the audience than there are in the actual lyrics. And still, the Alrights! he hollers out in the middle are Kinnock-tier excriciating
• The way it starts to get a bit lairy after twenty minutes or so with Tony's remarks about the 'lovely ladies'. Ew
• Mark's slightly desperate exhortion "We're all having a good time... aren't we?!". Meanwhile Tony couldn't give a shit, he just wants to tell us about his Lethal Weapon 3 party
• Jimmy Nail's appearances should come with a trigger warning. Those kids in the sleigh look absolutely terrified. Not even his comedy brass section can dispel the palpable air of fear
• They've wisely held back the celebs for when people's attention is starting to flag, and they're getting drowsy. Tony and Sid egg each other on like a couple of naughty schoolboys lewd old men but it's all coy smiles and soft voices when Daniella shows up
• The live performances conclude with a face-off between the year's little clutch of short-term number ones. Tasmin's sadly truncated and Charles and Eddie go with the brave ploy of opening with a CoD close-up but it's Boyz II Men who steal everyone's thunder with an absolutely imperious performance of End Of The Road. I don't mind telling you, me and Mrs Canes were pumping along to every glorious, overwrought second of this, in a way I don't mind admitting we've never pumped before. Honestly, you do not know. By the end, we were just sweaty, tear-streaked heaps. I was almost post-coitally perfect. I'm still shaking. The very happiest of finishes

Which seems as good a way to wrap this as any (sorry, Michael). Although... okay, here's a weird thing. Bear with me here. When those thunderflashes went off at the end I momentarily got the same feeling I did when the Liberator was destroyed at the end of season three of Blake's 7 (oh, SPOILERS btw). And as Blake's 7 afficionados will know, the sort of nihilistic feeling you inevitably get at the end of a season is not one you want to have with you. Was my memory playing tricks? Was 1992 so good they blew up the whole show rather than risk it going downhill? For a moment dark, irrational clouds spilled into my consciousness casting inky shadows of doubt. Wracked with anxiety and unable to bear the weight of this uncertainty, I felt compelled to do something I hadn't done for the past six months... I had to be sure, I had to check... so I glimpsed, I glimpsed into the future, through the forbidden barrier into the world of things to come - into the world of nineteen... ninety three. And my friends, it was a moment of epiphany. I saw such wonderful sights. I saw Take That, straddling the charts like colossi. I saw Anita Doth in a costume I never imagined possible. I saw a one-eyed lady sing of her dreams, and dancehall, and precisely-sculpted Swedish pop, and 'Informer', which I always thought was 1992 and had been really looking forward to already, and... oh, such marvels as made my eyes weep! I had thought 1992 represented the very apex of Top Of The Pops, the very Platonic ideal if you will, a kind of ur-TOTP that couldn't be bettered. But now, I'm not so sure. The future has What Is Love, and Mr Vain, and Tease Me. And Two Princes, but, you know, rough with the smooth and all that.

Come with me. Walk into the light. Let the future touch you. Embrace your destiny.

Anyway

[kaprisky]

Synopsis for The Story of 1999:

A review of the year through Top of the Pops performances, looking at the influence of Ibiza and the rise of UK garage, and revealing how the programme went on tour before a final move from Elstree back to BBC Television Centre. Contributors include Fran Healy of Travis, Claire Richards and Lee Latchford-Evans of Steps, Gail Porter, Roisin Murphy, Neil Hannon of the Divine Comedy, Mark Hill and Pete Devereux of Artful Dodger, Ben Ofoedu of Phats & Small and Tony Wright of Terrovision.

What defined TOTP 1992? I'm tempted to say male rappers - there was that episode where Mr C, Tony Mortimer and Dr Alban tried to cram as many words into their raps as possible, then there was the ep with the Chippendales singer who broke into a rap in the middle, but it has to be the relentless cover versions. Record labels seemed to have contempt for the record buying public. You can see why the kids went for grunge and rave flavours.

TOTP 1993 is scheduled for Fri 3rd June.

[daf]

25 December 1992: Presenters: Mark Fr@nklin & Tony DOrtie

( - - )  | WET WET WET – Goodnight Girl
- - - - - - - - - - - (January) - - - - - - - - - -
RIGHT SAID FRED feat. JOCELYN BROWN – Don't Talk Just Kiss (video)
DIANA ROSS – When You Tell Me That You Love Me (video)
THE PRODIGY – Everybody In The Place (video)
THE K.L.F. feat. TAMMY WYNETTE – Justified And Ancient (video)
KYLIE MINOGUE – Give Me Just A Little More Time (video)
QUEEN – Bohemian Rhapsody (video)
- - - - - - - - - - - (February) - - - - - - - - - -
MICHAEL JACKSON – Remember The Time (video)
THE TEMPTATIONS – My Girl (video)
2 UNLIMITED – Twilight Zone (video)
SHAKESPEAR'S SISTER – Stay (video)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -



( - - )  | SHANICE – I Love Your Smile (via satellite)
- - - - - - - - - - - (March) - - - - - - - - - - - - -
MR. BIG – To Be With You (video)
CE CE PENISTON – Finally (video)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
( - - )  | RIGHT SAID FRED – Deeply Dippy
- - - - - - - - - - - (April) - - - - - - - - - - - - -
SISTERS OF MERCY – Temple Of Love (video)
VANESSA WILLIAMS – Save The Best For Last (video)
DEF LEPPARD – Let's Get Rocked (video)
SL2 – On A Ragga Tip (video)
IRON MAIDEN – Be Quick Or Be Dead (video)
- - - - - - - - - - - (May) - - - - - - - - - - - - -
CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT – Hang On In There Baby (video)
SHUT UP & DANCE feat. PETER BOUNCER – Raving I'm Raving (TOTP 28-5-92)
GUNS N' ROSES – Knockin' On Heaven's Door (video)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -



( - - )  | KWS – Please Don't Go
- - - - - - - - - - - (June) - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
RICHARD MARX – Hazard (video)
UGLY KID JOE – Everything About You (video)
NICK BERRY – Heartbeat (video)
KRIS KROSS – Jump (video)
ERASURE – Take A Chance On Me (video)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
( - - )  | JIMMY NAIL – Ain't No Doubt
- - - - - - - - - - - (July) - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
MADONNA – This Used To Be My Playground (video)
SMART E'S – Sesame's Treat (video)
MARIAH CAREY – I'll Be There (TOTP 25-6-92)
- - - - - - - - - - - (August) - - - - - - - - - - - -
BILLY RAY CYRUS – Achy Breaky Heart (video)
LUTHER VANDROSS & JANET JACKSON – The Best Things In Life Are Free (video)
FREDDIE MERCURY & MONTSERRAT CABALLE – Barcelona (video)
SNAP – Rhythm Is A Dancer (video)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
( - - )  | UNDERCOVER – Baker Street
- - - - - - - - - - - (September) - - - - - - - - - -
DR. ALBAN – It's My Life (video)
THE SHAMEN – Ebeneezer Goode (video)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -



( - - )  | TASMIN ARCHER – Sleeping Satellite
- - - - - - - - - - - (October) - - - - - - - - - - -
MADONNA – Erotica (video)
BIZARRE INC. feat. ANGIE BROWN – I'm Gonna Get You (video)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(27) | BOYZ II MEN – End Of The Road (via satellite)
- - - - - - - - - - - (November) - - - - - - - - - -
(51) | RAGE – Run To You (video)
(24) | ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT – People Everyday (video)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -



(03) | CHARLES & EDDIE – Would I Lie To You? (via satellite)
(02) | MICHAEL JACKSON – Heal The World (video)
(01) | WHITNEY HOUSTON – I Will Always Love You (video)

[A Hat Like That]

East Side Beat looks like a cover Geography teacher. Bet he also does a cracking version of Lola.

Anyway, yes, Juve, Lazio, AC, Sampdoria, Inter. Sat on a piazza, cheeky panini.

I never thought I'd say this but I'll stick with Simple Minds.

The run through 1992 was, as said, too many videos and too few live appearances. But one last She's Lyin' and some nice festive settings.

I think 1993 is a step up in quality. There's still a few months of Whitney to get through. The first few britpop bands have all been on, iirc, but most take 1993 as a step backwards. There's a fair bit of Freddie tribute to come.

Laterz 1992.

[pigamus]

So how come they're on the story of 1999 when the actual shows are only at 1993

[gilbertharding]

So how come they're on the story of 1999 when the actual shows are only at 1993

Because they are cunts. Cunts who are shortly going to get rid of BBC FOUR and Radio 4 Extra and CBBC and Radio 4 Longwave (and still expect people like me to pay a licence fee).

[daf]

Hope they consider moving them to BBC 2 - relegating the show to the iplayer stuffs up the collective watch-along experience.

[matjam13]

If BBC Four finishes as a TV Channel at any point between 2025 and 2027 it will stop in either:

25 - 1998/9
26- 2000/1
27 - 2002/3

[Pauline Walnuts]

Because they are cunts. Cunts who are shortly going to get rid of BBC FOUR and Radio 4 Extra and CBBC and Radio 4 Longwave (and still expect people like me to pay a licence fee).

I can't believe how much time and money I've spent building a retro-system to listen to Test Match Special on Long wave (and the ability to use iPlayer when someone turns on a powertool/plasma TV within a 3 street radius), I ain't freakin' paying <instert price of TV License> for whatever rubbish they have on BBC prime time these days.

[Ted-Maul]

A bit late with this, but as to the most recent set of Smash Hits scans - didn't someone on here once say they were convinced Abba were interviewed on TV in the 90s about being in a helicopter crash? Because that person appears to have caught an interview with Bjorn Again. I didn't realise they were a comedy act on top of the tribute thing.

FUUUUUCKING HELLLLL YES!

That was me, but when i posted about it on here and nobody else remembered it, I was more confused than ever. Can't believe that just a few weeks after that post, I watch Bjorn Again on TOTP AND see that scanned Smash Hits and nothing triggered in my brain..... but it's good to finally have it explained - i was only 9 in 1992 and having just watched this Pebble Mill interview, they try and play it totally straight which is what must have convinced me it was the real ABBA. They don't get to mention the helicopter crash, only the visit to the psychologist, it's all very stange:

So thank you PammySpacek for spotting it and remembering!! A 30 year mystery solved.

Been watching these repeats since the 1988's and although I try to keep up with this thread, i'm always at least a month behind so i'll take this opportunity to say that I love reading it, thanks for the laughs, Femi4Eva.

[Norton Canes]

We're all excited about 1993 getting under way next week but we've got a little breather in the meantime, so what do the BBC decide to show to whet our appetites? Yeah. Is part of the Government's plan to shut them down an edict that all their scheduling should suddenly turn to shit? Or is The Story of 1993 still considered too new a show for an archive-only channel?

Anyway, a little bit of housekeeping: anyone expecting a full run of '93 episodes might be disappointed as the 11th February show is likely to be not Roseblocked but Rolfblocked, with the Antipodean nonce fetching up in the studio (so to speak) to perform Stairway To Heaven. It's not as easy as editing him out, even if they wanted to, because our Tony, bless him, packs the links with Rolf (or should that be ROFL) gags.

The full roster for those who can't be arsed clicking the link:

12 Saint Etienne - You're In A Bad Way (Live Performance)   
3 Annie Lennox - Love Song For A Vampire (Music Video)   
5 East 17 - Deep (Live Performance)   
18 Thunder - A Better Man (Live Performance)   
31 Deacon Blue - Will We Be Lovers (Top 40 Breaker Clip)   
25 Poison - Stand (Top 40 Breaker Clip)   
23 Jon Secada- Angel (Top 40 Breaker Clip)   
17 Sting - If I Ever Lose My Faith In You (Top 40 Breaker Clip)   
9 Rolf Harris - Stairway To Heaven (Live Performance)
NEW Charles & Eddie - N.Y.C. (Live Performance)
1 2 Unlimited - No Limit (Live Performance)

Shame about East 17, and Charles and Eddie. And Saint Etienne, I suppose.

[Icehaven]

I love that Sleeping Satellite is an astronaut anthem.

[Icehaven]

I feel bad for Jimmy Nail being voted least fanciable male. Not enough to vote him fanciable, but still.

[Norton Canes]

Oh FFS. Gogglebox this week includes a clip from the 17th December edition, presumably to show how hilarious everything appeared 30 years ago, so do they show The Shamen's glorious Alice in Wonderland performance? Do they fuck, they show the Boney M. Megamix, so the settee-dwellers can bang on about the 70's. What is point.

[A Hat Like That]

5 East 17 - Deep (Live Performance)   

As far as I know, it is also NOT the performance shown on the 1993 Big Hits programme a few weeks ago.

Fewer sharks, for a start.