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"At Christmas I no more desire a rose Than wish a snow in May's new-fangled mirth; But like of each thing that in season grows."


020210us Th1ngs

Started by touchingcloth, January 06, 2021, 06:01:50 PM

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This thread title...

...is a gobsmack conveyed
...finds your dad ejaculating only once out of his human male penis, and he is gone
...cinderella's tits.  just her absolute fucking tits
An tSaoi

Paul Calf

Quote from: sirhenry on January 08, 2021, 09:45:01 AM
Slippers are so called because they slip.

A fact I should have realised before taking the bins out, failing to spot the ice on the path and resulting in a fucked-up knee, a load of skin ripped off my arm and a sizeable lump on the back of my head.

Bins got emptied though.

It's because they slip on to your feet. In India, flip-flops are known as 'slippers'.

If the fact that you knew that and were rhetorically pretending not to is also an 0bvious thing, I shall fall on my sword.

Quote from: sirhenry on January 08, 2021, 09:45:01 AM
Slippers are so called because they slip.

A fact I should have realised before taking the bins out, failing to spot the ice on the path and resulting in a fucked-up knee, a load of skin ripped off my arm and a sizeable lump on the back of my head.

Bins got emptied though.

My slipper/snow/putting-out-the-bins injury from a couple of years ago.


Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: sirhenry on January 08, 2021, 09:45:01 AM
Slippers are so called because they slip.

A fact I should have realised before taking the bins out, failing to spot the ice on the path and resulting in a fucked-up knee, a load of skin ripped off my arm and a sizeable lump on the back of my head.

Bins got emptied though.

Ouch, I nearly broke my foot going down the stairs taking the bins out, my foot went to sleep and I ended up not lifting my foot and my toes nearly ended up under my heel.

touchingcloth

Quote from: sirhenry on January 08, 2021, 09:45:01 AM
Bins got emptied though.

I bet it did, the dirty old junk box, I bet it fucking did.

sirhenry

Quote from: Paul Calf on January 08, 2021, 10:00:54 AM
If the fact that you knew that and were rhetorically pretending not to is also an 0bvious thing, I shall fall on my sword.
The gift that keeps on giving.

popcorn

Quote from: kittens on January 08, 2021, 12:27:16 AM
the word 'hostile' said by an American sounds very similar to, if not exactly the same as, the word 'hostel', which means that the title of the film hostel, about a hostile hostel, may be a pun.

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,51662.msg2751169.html#msg2751169

Lungpuddle

Quote from: kittens on January 08, 2021, 12:27:16 AM
the word 'hostile' said by an American sounds very similar to, if not exactly the same as, the word 'hostel', which means that the title of the film hostel, about a hostile hostel, may be a pun.

popcorn said this in 2016. Does no one ever read popcorn's posts?!?

Doesn't work in Australian, where they say "host-EL", for some reason. I learnt that when I was in Australia, staying in a hostelle.

phes

Better Midlands is a play on Bette Midler

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: sirhenry on January 08, 2021, 09:45:01 AM
Slippers are so called because they slip.

A fact I should have realised before taking the bins out, failing to spot the ice on the path and resulting in a fucked-up knee, a load of skin ripped off my arm and a sizeable lump on the back of my head.

Bins got emptied though.

I was putting some cans & plastic stuff in the green bin yesterday and there was snow on the driveway, and I was wearing my slippers.
You can guess what happened next!
I thought of your post and shrugged and continued my journey to the bin and slipped a second later!  Luckily I'm unscathed and I can't even see a bruise.

phes

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on January 08, 2021, 10:18:49 AM
Ouch, I nearly broke my foot going down the stairs taking the bins out, my foot went to sleep and I ended up not lifting my foot and my toes nearly ended up under my heel.

On the subject of steps, last night I ran up the stairs in dim light and realised that trying to take an additional step that isn't there is much more terrifying and dangerous than failing to take the last step, which typically just results in a sharp fall to one's palms and face and likely a broken wrist at worse. I only wish a camera had recorded the cartoon-like contortions to my face and spine as my head and the trunk of my body attempted to shed my arms and legs and plough through a wall

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: phes on January 10, 2021, 01:28:34 PM
On the subject of steps, last night I ran up the stairs in dim light and realised that trying to take an additional step that isn't there is much more terrifying and dangerous than failing to take the last step, which typically just results in a sharp fall to one's palms and face and likely a broken wrist at worse. I only wish a camera had recorded the cartoon-like contortions to my face and spine as my head and the trunk of my body attempted to shed my arms and legs and plough through a wall

Vague memories of doing this after the pub when back home visiting my parents and hearing my dad from the bedroom muttetring to my mum "he's pissed".

sirhenry

Quote from: JesusAndYourBush on January 10, 2021, 01:16:59 PM
I was putting some cans & plastic stuff in the green bin yesterday and there was snow on the driveway, and I was wearing my slippers.
You can guess what happened next!
I thought of your post and shrugged and continued my journey to the bin and slipped a second later!  Luckily I'm unscathed and I can't even see a bruise.
Practice you must, my young Padawan. In time the art of innocent self-harm you too will master.

bakabaka

Quote from: sirhenry on January 11, 2021, 06:31:05 PM
Practice you must, my young Padawan. In time the art of innocent self-harm you too will master.
May the falls be with you.

icehaven

The plastic bags with pictures of hands on by the bakery in Lidl aren't for putting the bakery items in, they're for putting over your hands while using the tongs to pick the items up, and there's paper bags to put them in. The plastic bags hand coverings even have pictures of hands on them. Why did I think that was? Because you use them with your hands?  Fucking dunce.

touchingcloth

Quote from: icehaven on January 15, 2021, 04:59:33 PM
The plastic bags with pictures of hands on by the bakery in Lidl aren't for putting the bakery items in, they're for putting over your hands while using the tongs to pick the items up, and there's paper bags to put them in. The plastic bags hand coverings even have pictures of hands on them. Why did I think that was? Because you use them with your hands?  Fucking dunce.

Aren't they shaped like gloves? They are in the Lidl near me.

icehaven

Quote from: touchingcloth on January 15, 2021, 06:22:40 PM
Aren't they shaped like gloves? They are in the Lidl near me.

They're square in mine, like fruit/veg bags. The paper bags are also quite well hidden at the bottom so I didn't see them until the last time I was in there, if I'd seen them sooner I might have clicked.

Dex Sawash

My Lidl (amrrica) pre-bags since lockdown so I have to eat 4 pastries now

Marner and Me

Its tenterhooks, not tenderhooks.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: icehaven on January 15, 2021, 04:59:33 PM
The plastic bags with pictures of hands on by the bakery in Lidl aren't for putting the bakery items in, they're for putting over your hands while using the tongs to pick the items up, and there's paper bags to put them in. The plastic bags hand coverings even have pictures of hands on them. Why did I think that was? Because you use them with your hands?  Fucking dunce.

What's the point in the tongs? If you're gloved up surely people can just pick it up?


Sebastian Cobb

That shit film with Simon Pegg and Kirstin Dunst was about the life of Toby Young.

icehaven

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on January 16, 2021, 01:23:23 PM
What's the point in the tongs? If you're gloved up surely people can just pick it up?

Yeah I spose, and people probably do. Either way.

touchingcloth

In The Sting, Lonnegan doesn't realise that Hooker and Kelly are the same person, so the hit is out on Hooker, not Kelly. You follow?

icehaven

Everyone in Columbo (except Columbo) is extremely rich and frequently works in the film/entertainment industry. I realised it was set in L.A. but never quite clocked before.

MojoJojo

The guy he plays the Vision in the Marvel films was the same guy who did the voice of Jarvis, which sort of makes sense since the Vision was sort of made from the Jarvis computer*.

I mean, I'd even wondered in the later films why Iron Man's suit didn't speak like Jarvis anymore and sort of semi-assumed there had been some falling out with the actor or something.

In my defence, Age of Ultron was a bit shit and I don't think I was paying much attention by that point.

(*crap description I know but I'm not going to bother looking up the description)

MojoJojo

Ivana Trump sounds like a spoof Bond girl name like you'd get in Austin Powers. Just fart related instead of sex related.

It's only taken me 8 years to realise this. I reckon no one else has mentioned it because it's so obvious and cheap.

studpuppet

Quote from: MojoJojo on January 19, 2021, 10:06:33 AM
Ivana Trump sounds like a spoof Bond girl name like you'd get in Austin Powers. Just fart related instead of sex related.

It's only taken me 8 years to realise this. I reckon no one else has mentioned it because it's so obvious and cheap.

Whereas Lady Bird Johnson sounds like a proper Bond girl name.Conversely, Jackie Kennedy and Pat Nixon sound like Eastenders characters.

Sebastian Cobb

Trump for Jesus was trending the other day. I thought 'last time I did that the priest gave me an awful bollocking'.

Marner and Me

J Pop-Japanese
K Pop-Korean


D'oh

Paul Calf

Quote from: MojoJojo on January 19, 2021, 10:06:33 AM
Ivana Trump sounds like a spoof Bond girl name like you'd get in Austin Powers. Just fart related instead of sex related.

It's only taken me 8 years to realise this. I reckon no one else has mentioned it because it's so obvious and cheap.

Similarly, Ivanka Trump sounds like Dracula explaining his favourite celebrity sexual fantasy.