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Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021

Started by canadagoose, April 04, 2021, 03:22:41 PM

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dex

Had a mad thought today at work. Morale is really low at the moment and the daft thought of suggesting we all just have a mass brawl came into my headspace. Kick fuck out of each other and just laugh about it afterwards. But then it would be gross misconduct and there could be serious injuries etc. There's a lady on my team that could probably have us all if she wanted. She grew up on a farm. Meh.

Cold Meat Platter

Quote from: dex on July 15, 2021, 06:31:49 PM
Had a mad thought today at work. Morale is really low at the moment and the daft thought of suggesting we all just have a mass brawl came into my headspace. Kick fuck out of each other and just laugh about it afterwards. But then it would be gross misconduct and there could be serious injuries etc. There's a lady on my team that could probably have us all if she wanted. She grew up on a farm. Meh.

Custard pie fight then. Like at the end of Carry On Loving.

Endicott

Go paint balling. Nah I'm just messin' about.

Replies From View

One Peter's Mad Thought I routinely have is the idea of giving up my job - which despite being badly paid and stressful nevertheless uses my strengths, is skilled and feels rewarding - going through all the business of handing in my notice and saying goodbye to everyone, telling them it's so I can move on to something that feels like a progression in my life....  and then taking on the kind of job I had two decades ago that I hated, stocking shelves for a corporation and being treated like absolute shit. 

And instead of at least having a positive sense that it was something I was only doing while I was studying, or while I got my shit together to make the next step, just accepting that would be it for the rest of my life.

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: Cold Meat Platter on July 15, 2021, 06:44:38 PM
Custard pie fight then. Like at the end of Carry On Loving.

Towards the end of my first year at university there were minor tensions between some of my housemates, but one huge food fight later and we all felt a hell of a lot better, so I think you might be on to something there.

Echo Valley 2-6809

Coming home from a late evening walk just now in the dark there were quite a few houses along the way with ground floor windows wide open in the heat and curtains drawn shut as people watched TV. 
Kept getting the urge to pop my head through an open window to say "Good evening!" in Kenneth Williams's 'Snide' voice from Hancock's Half Hour.

Custard

Pretty old looking gentleman getting off the train in front of me yesterday. Briefly thought about what would happen if I suddenly dropkicked his back, as the doors opened

Maybe the people waiting to get on would break his fall? Maybe he'd take them out too? Maybe he'd go headfirst into the concrete, as people scream?

Anyway, have a great day everyone!

Paul Calf


Custard

Not very. Bit wrinkly and stern faced. Not even a hint of exposed flesh

icehaven

A few years ago when I was a few weeks into my new job I was chatting with my new boss and a few other people, and the subject of divorce/couples separating up came up. My boss mentioned how his marriage had ended a few years earlier when his wife had left him for a mutual friend, and how the friend had been at the wedding and everything and how awful it had all been etc. I had an overwhelming urge to say "Well maybe you shouldn't have been such a fucking prick then", despite hardly knowing him and having no reason to think he was a prick at all, he seemed OK, and knowing nothing else about the circumstances of his marriage.

In the event it turned out he was a bit of a prick anyway so maybe I'm just psychic.

The Mollusk

Working as a property inspector I find myself often very high up in buildings. Many times I like to go out into the communal stairway and look down the gap down the middle of the stairs spiralling down tens of storeys and think about jumping down. Could flail out and just let yourself get absolutely annihilated by the banisters, panging off this way and that, but ultimately you'd get chucked off at some point onto the stairwell which sort of feels like a failure. What I really want to do is french fry drop right down and see how far I can get without touching anything. Imagine zooming down like a torpedo, arms and legs zipped in tight, eyes ablaze with the thrill of it. Thirty-odd handrails whizzing inches from your nose. Imagine if you passed someone on the stairs, totally silent, a blur of human come and gone in a flash, you'd scarcely fuckin believe what you just saw. Imagine making it all the way down and landing right on your feet and the entirety of your form crumpling to a gristled mulch in your shoes. It all sounds incredible.

dex

Was on holiday in Wales a couple of weeks back and as we were camping we'd bought some stuff to cook dinner. Out of the supermarket carpark comes an obnoxiously sized 4x4 with the windows down, blocking our path to cross the road. I had the mad thought of chucking the onion I had in my hand through the window so it hit/rolled around the people inside. Heh. Daft.

PlanktonSideburns

Quote from: The Mollusk on August 27, 2021, 03:03:34 PM
Working as a property inspector I find myself often very high up in buildings. Many times I like to go out into the communal stairway and look down the gap down the middle of the stairs spiralling down tens of storeys and think about jumping down. Could flail out and just let yourself get absolutely annihilated by the banisters, panging off this way and that, but ultimately you'd get chucked off at some point onto the stairwell which sort of feels like a failure. What I really want to do is french fry drop right down and see how far I can get without touching anything. Imagine zooming down like a torpedo, arms and legs zipped in tight, eyes ablaze with the thrill of it. Thirty-odd handrails whizzing inches from your nose. Imagine if you passed someone on the stairs, totally silent, a blur of human come and gone in a flash, you'd scarcely fuckin believe what you just saw. Imagine making it all the way down and landing right on your feet and the entirety of your form crumpling to a gristled mulch in your shoes. It all sounds incredible.

This post made me shiver and squirm

who cares

At the boot fair, walking up to a stall I spot a large brown vase. Two thoughts occur in sharp succession- "oh, I've got one a bit like that," followed by the urge to say, "how much is THIS?"; the 'THIS' part of the question referring to the act of me picking up the vase and throwing it as hard as possible through the rear window of their Range Rover.

dex

Was on a flight today (lardy dah!) and bloke stands up in the aisle in front of me for pretty much no reason apart from to stretch his legs or summat. He's not far away from the mid section cabin doors. Somehow if I could reach the mechanism with something and open the door. I'm strapped in my seat -he wouldn't be secured, and he'd go star shaped out of the doors to the land or sea below.

Sebastian Cobb

overtaking another cyclist then pulling in and loudly farting and them getting so angry they give chase

Walked past a black, de-badged Audi Q3 this morning and felt an overwhelming urge to go buy some white Dulux and scrawl a massive "Q3" and "1.8" on the back before cunting the still mostly full can through the passenger side window.