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Welcome Home, Colin!

Started by Keebleman, June 07, 2021, 06:40:34 PM

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JamesTC

I suggest he changes his name to Ian Pitchfork.

I bet he can't wait to see the rest of Only Fools and Horses. Don't tell him how it ends!

steve98

Quote from: Jittlebags on June 07, 2021, 09:16:40 PM
Colin Pilchard would be a nice unobtrusive name for his new identity.

He can call himself whatever he likes, he'll still have his dead giveaway Betty Davis-type eyes. Can't hide them.




Quote from: steve98 on June 07, 2021, 09:23:42 PM
He can call himself whatever he likes, he'll still have his dead giveaway Betty Davis-type eyes. Can't hide them.




He looks like he's pouting at the camera.

Kankurette

Bugger. I was hoping it would be about the cakey caterpillar.

TrenterPercenter

Quote from: Kankurette on June 07, 2021, 09:33:10 PM
Bugger. I was hoping it would be about the cakey caterpillar.

Those cholesterol packed bad boys have killed more than 2 people over the years I'll bet.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy


mothman

Quote from: Catalogue of ills on June 07, 2021, 08:43:47 PM
Colin Allmusic

I reckon he'll be easy to spot if I keep an eye out.

Echo Valley 2-6809

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on June 07, 2021, 07:34:42 PM
It must be difficult explaining to someone who was in prison for 33 years how the world has changed. It will be hard to find him a job, even though he was a skilled sculptor of cake decorations according to Wikipedia.

He has been free to walk around in public on his own for some time - e.g being seen walking around Bristol city centre - not locked in a darkened room.

I highly doubt he will be able to go undetected with a new identity, but who fucking cares. He's a remorseless, manipulative psychopath who would almost certainly have gone on to beat and rape and murder other girls if it wasn't for Alec Jeffreys' work (an innocent man with learning difficulties was in prison charged with one of the murders, but exonerated when DNA evidence became available).

Paul Calf

Quote from: Jittlebags on June 07, 2021, 09:16:40 PM
Colin Pilchard would be a nice unobtrusive name for his new identity.

Colin Flaming-Torch.

If he lives for a thousand years and does loads of really good stuff, people will look back on his murders as just a blip in an otherwise faultless life.

steve98

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on June 08, 2021, 08:58:17 AM
If he lives for a thousand years and does loads of really good stuff, people will look back on his murders as just a blip in an otherwise faultless life.

Two blips. (And the thousand flashings prior to the murders (I don't know how many blips that equates to))

robhug

He's got his faults but apparently excellent at making cake decorations, that must have played into the minds of the people releasing him.

JamesTC

Hearing the BBC are to hire him to replace John Barrowman in Doctor Who.

steve98

Quote from: robhug on June 08, 2021, 09:34:42 AM
He's got his faults but apparently excellent at making cake decorations, that must have played into the minds of the people releasing him.

Not so sure. My sources tell me he's not the cake decorator he was (pic). 30+ years inside takes its toll: it destroys all that's good and decent in a man.


Natnar

Quote from: bgmnts on June 07, 2021, 06:59:10 PM
Thing is, though, what's the point of prison then? Why not just kill murderers?

Exactly You can't be for rehabilitation in prison but then deny a prisoners release just because their crime is high profile. Let him be released, the victim's family aren't going to like it but then so would any other prisoner's victims or families. He'll probably have his new identity "leaked" to the press anyway.

Butchers Blind

He's going to have to do some Armageddon world saving type shit to make up for this.

JamesTC

Maybe he could walk up and down his garden.

steve98

I never so a man so sad,
As The Icing Man that morn,
As he watched them throw away the key
And his icing tools - "All gorn...",

He wept, "They've chucked me tools!
Me icing tools, all gorn.
They've killed the very thing I love.
O I wish I'd been stillborn."



El Unicornio, mang

Quote from: The Mollusk on June 07, 2021, 09:16:18 PM
Not only did he kill two young girls, he's also responsible for the 4.9/10 review for The Mars Volta's first album. The man is a monster.

10 for the last Stranglers album though.

Both the Sun and the Mirror have reported he is now called David Thorpe.  I feel sorry for anyone of that name who looks a bit like him and has just moved to a new area.

Jittlebags

They should have reported that he is now called David Cameron

JarrowMonkey

Haven't read all the way through the replies, are we going to be doing Lols about the two murdered girls later on and maybe their parents

Catalogue of ills


Butchers Blind

Quote from: JarrowMonkey on June 08, 2021, 06:46:21 PM
Haven't read all the way through the replies, are we going to be doing Lols about the two murdered girls later on and maybe their parents

You go first. Depending on the reaction, we may join in.

steve98

Quote from: JarrowMonkey on June 08, 2021, 06:46:21 PM
Haven't read all the way through the replies, are we going to be doing Lols about the two murdered girls later on and maybe their parents

Probably best you skip this thread, just in case.

Catalogue of ills

Quote from: steve98 on June 07, 2021, 09:23:42 PM




"Do I look like a murderer to you? Well DO I???"

Now you mention it Colin, now you mention it..

Thomas

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on June 08, 2021, 12:42:49 PM
Both the Sun and the Mirror have reported he is now called David Thorpe.  I feel sorry for anyone of that name who looks a bit like him and has just moved to a new area.

Why do papers report the new names of people like this? Is it purely to get the readers in, for plain old profit reasons? To generate a sense of community, with good old reliable newspapers sharing in a collective moral disgust? Or do the journalists and editors perhaps privately fancy the prospect of a street justice stairwell bashing?

Alternatively, charitably, it could be genuinely humane in (some of) its intentions (in addition to profit$), hoping to make his new neighbours aware of the bloke who's just moved in next door.

Zetetic

Incredibly cheap as well, since you can just make up whatever name you like (or don't like).

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

HA HA RELEASED MURDERER OF ...


....Oh, I just can't be arsed anymore.

Echo Valley 2-6809

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on June 08, 2021, 12:42:49 PM
Both the Sun and the Mirror have reported he is now called David Thorpe.  I feel sorry for anyone of that name who looks a bit like him and has just moved to a new area.

It was reported a long time ago that he'd changed his name to David Thorpe in prison.

I doubt that'll be his name now.