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Cricket 2021: Paedoph with the England test team

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, August 06, 2021, 04:19:57 PM

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Shoulders?-Stomach!

Desperation + ego = Still not realising it also has to be so clearly out as to overturn umpires call

Chedney Honks

Despite everything, I really rate YJB. He is one of the greatest ever openers in the short game, can't be that hard to do the same in tests.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Sibley is making him look like Young Donny Bradman

rjd2

Bairstow is such an odd one.

I do think he should be allowed to focus on the limited overs game where he absolute bosses it and can win England world cups.

However reading interviews he does genuinely love this format so would love him to come good finally!

rjd2

Think this might be an ugly series for Kohli, Rahane, Pujara and to a lesser extent Rohit so if England can get this lead up to 200 then they can definitely defend this.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

He isn't ever coming good. Fucking moron.

Remember that getting 30 and playing an absolutely moronic shot now counts as 'success'.

Thursday


Shoulders?-Stomach!


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Nothing like Lawrence charging down the wicket on 6 not out after almost running himself out to instil confidence.

England won't defend 275 let alone 200, which is already wishful thinking.


Shoulders?-Stomach!

That was quality seam bowling, Lawrence was so far from hitting that it was actually funny. Reminder : Thakur isn't a medium pacer dobber, he is is a skilful seamer who can get it to shape and flight in the air and move off the seam.

Reckon Buttler will get cocky and throw it away after 1 shot? Will he even get that far?

Thursday

He'll do the thing where he gives it away from a nothing ball when it looks like he's settled in.



Shoulders?-Stomach!

Outside of Root all our top 7 in 2 innings have mustered 192 runs.

Edit.. Miscalculation, even less than thought.

That's an average of 16.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: Chedney Honks on August 07, 2021, 04:22:24 PM
Buttler is not a test batsman

We need a new reform with a similar fundamental change like central contracts had to help manage workload and specialising in certain formats.

Butter isn't the worst keeper batsmen we have had - better than Russell, Foster, Jones, Read, Ambrose, and probably multiple other clowns I forget.

Not as good as Ames, Godfrey, Stewart or Prior.

Possibly overall worse than Knott.

iamcoop

I can't remember Buttler doing anything remotely memorable as a test batsman for years now.

I know the idea is to let him come in late innings after the top order have set a "platform" for him to go berserk but our whole batting unit has been so consistently aids cru for what feels like forever now that it's painful watching him come out when we have a slender lead and looking scared and batting pure dog eggs.

Inspector Norse

Buttler has made two excellent centuries and played a handful of other very good innings. He has played most of these innings batting at 6, where he has a bit of room to get in and size up the bowlers and situation, and a bit of a safety cushion, and indeed in 21 innings at 6 he averages 51.5.

England choose instead to bat him mainly at 7, in the vain hope that he can come in and smash it; instead he frequently comes in mid-collapse with no safety net. He averages 29.7 there, with a lower strike rate.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Absolutely incredible Joe Root, a shining light of someone who gets legit hard ons for adults.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: Inspector Norse on August 07, 2021, 04:45:45 PM
Buttler has made two excellent centuries and played a handful of other very good innings. He has played most of these innings batting at 6, where he has a bit of room to get in and size up the bowlers and situation, and a bit of a safety cushion, and indeed in 21 innings at 6 he averages 51.5.

England choose instead to bat him mainly at 7, in the vain hope that he can come in and smash it; instead he frequently comes in mid-collapse with no safety net. He averages 29.7 there, with a lower strike rate.

He wasn't being asked to smash it here in either innings, only to bat normally. His first class record demonstrates how good he is in this format = average, but still ok for a wicketkeeper.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

QuoteFeisty one, you are.

Given Inbetweeners rinsed that as being a lame GCSE tier quote around 2008, to see that unironically on BBC Live Text is a low point for cricket fans.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Still totally possible we won't set India above 200.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Shami having a mare today. Not sure what's up with the fucker, you'd think he would lap these conditions up.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Broad coming in. Still might not make 300.

Reckon India will piss this.

iamcoop

I think India will win, but I reckon it'll be far from easy for them.

Broad's been largely dross so he could go into berserker mode but if we can crawl to 220-230 I think it might be game on.

If our fielding is as dæmon paed as the first innings it'll be total fuckdown

Shoulders?-Stomach!

At least that 2nd innings showed some application but the full failure by the same people and total reliance on Root as an anchor offers not even a glimmer of hope for the future.

Shastri was going mental after Shami's 5 wides so I hope he actually finds a gun if India fail to knock these off.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

So no-one on cricket broadcasting complaining now after all that bellyaching that the half an hour we lost for bad light has robbed the fans when people turning up for Day 5 will have probably 1 and a half sessions at most to watch due to England's batting.


Thursday

Weather complications are England's best hope now, if it rains for 2 sessions tomorrow, that half an hour of bad light could be crucial.

iamcoop


Inspector Norse

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on August 07, 2021, 04:52:56 PM
He wasn't being asked to smash it here in either innings, only to bat normally. His first class record demonstrates how good he is in this format = average, but still ok for a wicketkeeper.

No, but could we expect someone whose last red-ball game was six months ago in Chennai, thanks to the selectors' arse-brained attempts at rest and rotation, to hit form straight away?

Buttler isn't a top-class test batsman but a Buttler in decent red-ball form is far from the biggest problem in this England "batting line-up". He's been one of the more reliable scorers of slightly underwhelming 42s over the last couple of years.