Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 29, 2024, 09:44:35 AM

Login with username, password and session length

The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW: HAHALLOWEEN III: Shriekin’ of the Witch

Started by The Mollusk, August 23, 2021, 07:16:40 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Butchers Blind

Quote from: Greg Torso on November 16, 2021, 11:32:38 AM
This thing a Malaysian girl at work brought in, was like spicy vulcanised rubber but I ate loads of it because I fancied her. possibbly was not a food.

The idea of eating something that may not be food because you fancy someone got a laugh from me.

canadagoose

Quote from: non capisco on November 15, 2021, 12:50:25 AM
A hated ex-boss once proclaimed "Release the Kraken!" then accidentally shat his pants and had to waddle out of the room in order to clear the crime scene. The sole instance of true levity at any point in that miserable job.

I don't know why this made me laugh so much, but it did. Think I might call shitting yourself "releasing the Kraken" now.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: canadagoose on November 16, 2021, 02:52:23 PM
I don't know why this made me laugh so much, but it did. Think I might call shitting yourself "releasing the Kraken" now.

A guy on another forum I used to go on was on holiday in Hong Kong and his food poisoning made itself known when he was in a cable car, forcing him to release the kraken into his own rucksack in front of a handful of complete strangers. Unfortunately for him, this sorry event got captured for prosperity by the theme-park camera setup.


Replies From View

The guy in the corner obviously likes it.  Concealing his face so that hopefully nobody can tell he isn't covering his nose and mouth.



Replies From View

The guy with the grey hair makes it.  His eyes reveal him relinquishing the last glimmer of his bodily existence.


Kankurette

Quote from: Nice Relaxing Poo on November 16, 2021, 08:58:16 PM
This is always Al from Chart Music's intro for any band formed of siblings.

"Formed in their dads bollocks in the 50s, The Jackson 5...."

Icehaven



Cerys


pigamus



Cerys


pigamus

Quote from: Dr Rock on November 18, 2021, 02:29:17 PMAva, Ava, will you eat a Quaver?
No way she says,that's not my flavour

Ava, Ava, Be a little braver
No way she says, now fuck off you nonce

Catalogue of ills



Glebe

From the Kate Bush thread, an ALW post from a full five years ago:

Quote from: Angrew Lloyg Wegger on February 27, 2016, 02:19:43 AM^those eyes, bloody fucking hell, they're like an entire extra face

non capisco

Quote from: flotemysost on November 19, 2021, 07:07:56 PMI used to get quite scared by the idea of things not stopping when I was a child. I was given an Animals of Farthing Wood picture book one Christmas which had a panel along the side that you could press for various animal noises, but after a few months the internal battery wore down and it would play the noises unprompted, distorted to anguished sludgy groans drifting from my bookshelf in the middle of the night, which shat me up.

For the fantastically descriptive sentence "Anguished sludgy groans drifting from my bookshelf". Apologies to past young flote but the mental image of a child cacking their jim jams in fear waiting for the next MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO from the bowels of Hades to fill the room really made me laugh.

Glebe



non capisco

Quote from: SteveDave on November 17, 2021, 02:44:08 PMUntil the second half of that sentence, I thought a hillbilly had written this article.

You'll need to click in for context, this one just got me good.

Sebastian Cobb



Kankurette

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on November 21, 2021, 02:35:52 PMI've played Bayonetta. If you're wearing the right high heels, you can kick a cherub right into God's stupid face and his head spins around and his cock falls off. One million points.

Dex Sawash


Ray Travez

Beanheadmcginty on Masterchef-

Quote from: beanheadmcginty on November 21, 2021, 01:51:36 AMI'd love it if a chef turned up with sleeve tattoos that were just massive wooden spoons and they stirred all the food with their hands.

Johnny Foreigner

Great.

Quote from: JamesTC on November 21, 2021, 06:26:29 PMAnything you do in real life doesn't actually stop you from getting to heaven, but you need to be careful about what you say and do on the internet because it all gets uploaded to the cloud.