"At Christmas I no more desire a rose Than wish a snow in May's new-fangled mirth; But like of each thing that in season grows."
Started by The Mollusk, August 23, 2021, 07:16:40 AM
Quote from: amateur on November 23, 2021, 09:40:31 AMgot any funny posts lads
Quote from: Rich Uncle Skeleton on November 23, 2021, 12:49:16 PMI'm calling the police.
Quote from: Dex Sawash on November 20, 2021, 03:19:05 PMIn the industry we call this a twofer. Gets rid of a headache car and customer in one shot. Not good for garage liability insurance rates if you do it often.
Quote from: Midas on November 23, 2021, 09:26:25 PMBeen thinking of renewing mine early because the snap of my face ended up looking a bit distorted, and now I seem to be the subject of long, drawn-out facial inspections every time I need to show it. A woman the other week was actually holding it up by my cheek, and made me stand at the self-checkouts ridiculously contorting my face, while she stroked her chin and sceptically muttered, "Hmm... the man in the picture looks more hunched over..." She ended up calling over a colleague to confer with, while everyone else kept glancing at me like I was a shoplifter, and also (I suspect) privately judging my shopping bags stuffed full of booze and goodies.
Quote from: Zetetic on November 23, 2021, 03:23:17 PMI believe the traditional excuse involves a dog.
Quote from: Goldentony on November 24, 2021, 09:30:53 AMbrings a soldering iron from machine mart, goes och aye gonnae kill the dug wae fuckin solderin iron wee man and during the interview with john desmond furrfwank from the water board goes here wee man yer fuckin patters shite gonnae solder this fuckin dog, fuck up a minute
Quote from: JamesTC on November 24, 2021, 11:36:50 AMGlinner's latest attempt to wring money from pensioners is with a Christmas album. Due for release in December!
Quote from: Goldentony on November 24, 2021, 08:47:22 PMremember years ago seeing a rockabilly band make some offhanded crack about God and someone in the front couldnt resist going ERR HE DOESNT EXIST and the singer kind of perched over from the stage towering above and went HE LIVES ON IN YOUR FUCKING HEART YOU LITTLE GOBSHITE over the mic with tons of reverb, great night out
Quote from: Glebe on November 22, 2021, 03:28:57 PMRonnie Barker BAFTA.
Quote from: Mr Farenheit on November 25, 2021, 01:55:14 AMHAVE YOU SEEN THIS?? HAVE YOU?? (shakes copy of Modern Chocolatier) WELL????~WELL???God, give me STRENGTH!!!(walking allong line of Ooompa Loompas, emphassing each syllable with a whack in the side of the head from the rolled up magazine) DO - AN - NY- OF - YOU - EV - EN - RRRRREAD - THE - CHOC - O- LATE - PRESS???~LOOK AT THE COVER!!! This.... BASTARD AGAIN! (sarcastic tone of voice)"Jan unveils his latest creation- A chocolate powerboat"THAT'S HIS FOURTH COVER THIS YEAR!!! WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME WONKA WAS ON THE COVER?? EH??!!-1970s sirWE USED TO BE ON THE COVER EVERY OTHER MONTH!! 1978- TEN COVERS WITH WONKA ON IT, NO-ONE'S EVER DONE THAT. And since then...WHAT?? NOTHING!!! NOOOOOOTTTHIIIIINGGGG!BORING concepts, CRAPPY, CHEAP packaging, SLOPPY PRODUCTION.....YOU USELESS SONS OF BITCHES.... YOU KEEP FUCKIN UP!LOOK AT HIM! LOOOK! (pushes picture of a grinning Jan into an Oompa Loompa's face) HE'S LAUGHING AT US... AND LOOK AT THAT BOAT, ITS SHIT!- ITS JUST THE HELICHOCTER WITH THE TOP HALF CUT OFF AND A 'PORTHOLE' ON THE SIDE....HOW IS THAT A POWER-BOAT???WE CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT LADS, We can do better...... we USED to be better ... we used to be the best... (sobbing) what happened?what happened to this chocolate factory?
Quote from: Ferris on November 25, 2021, 04:59:43 PMThis Mourning with Judy Not Richard
Quote from: Goldentony on November 25, 2021, 07:31:35 PMjudys top falls open and theres two coffins where her tits are with richards name on
Quote from: sevendaughters on November 25, 2021, 09:16:33 PMteams like that shouldn't be allowed in, they do not understand the pressures Tottenham are under
Quote from: shiftwork2 on November 25, 2021, 07:57:53 PMhiya Tiddles mate
Quote from: Dex Sawash on November 26, 2021, 12:38:15 PMBig laugh from me too ^
Quote from: pigamus on November 26, 2021, 12:42:41 PMI don't get it
Quote from: Mobius on November 25, 2021, 07:54:44 PMmy local McDonalds because the woman who cleans the tables won't leave me alone on my lunch break. now she's got my name. and by coincidence her cat's name is my name,
Quote from: BlodwynPig on November 25, 2021, 09:23:30 PM32 mutations on the spike gene.
Quote from: Norton Canes on November 26, 2021, 07:26:09 AMGett off!
Page created in 0.035 seconds with 18 queries.