Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 29, 2024, 01:02:23 AM

Login with username, password and session length

The Great British Bake-Off 2021

Started by Blue Jam, September 14, 2021, 09:54:29 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

bgmnts

I think doing a German week and doing a German cake that isn't a German cake and telling the German his not properly German cake wasnt very good is sort of the most British thing ever.

Blue Jam

My thoughts are with Pijlstaart at this difficult time.

I'm a week behind, but the reveal of Maggie dumping her toffee charcoal puddings onto a plate was the funniest thing I have ever seen on television. Surely she must have realized something was amiss when there was only 2 cm of batter in her molds. Did she think she was making a magic souffle? She's only been baking (supposedly) for 82 years.

Interesting Freudian slips: Hollywood has called one of Crystelle's (?) bakes "beautiful" every single episode this season. Hasn't used that adjective in front of any other baker by my count. The menacing continues for another year.

Blue Jam

Quote from: Pijlstaart on October 20, 2021, 02:10:50 AM
For me it is telling that Jurgen persists in wearing polo shirts

I think Freya was wearing Paul Hollywood's lucky on-the-pull shirt this week, the one he wears down Caesar's "Nite" Club in Frodsham when he's there with Gregg Wallace as his wingman. Wearing it as a shirt dress after her upcycled blanket tank top shrank in the wash and Paul Hollywood so chivalrously stepped in. Lucky for some.

Blue Jam


Blue Jam

Quote from: Pijlstaart on October 20, 2021, 02:10:50 AM
Trying not to comment on the italian guy, the most transparent sacha baron cohen character yet, but you know people will gush about it when he reveals himself.


Pijlstaart

Why couldn't they have just killed her, that's what I don't understand, make it look like she's died of Young Women Disease, everybody loves a martyr, keeps her legacy intact. Could nail myself to two planks for her funeral as a tasteful rocking horse tribute. Not like this. What's that, the cake came out exactly as you intended? How shitting dare you. The problem with this, the fucking problem with this you little uppity shit is the ratio of cake to non-cake is too high, that's my genuine criticism, not in a competition where you destroy cake but in an actual competition where you make cake, a troubling cake ratio, and yes it's delicious and yes another baker, not even a baker so much as a sort of engorged thumb, yes, well this thumb, he's made a turret of literal raw egg and butter, he didn't even take the shells off the egg, and that sounds bad on the face of it, but the problem with you is you've made too much cake we like the taste of and that just won't do.

It just doesn't scan, and the fact the fyrds haven't yet been raised suggests the whole establishment is in on it, troubling stuff.


dissolute ocelot

If only she liked eggs, she'd still be in it. Maybe she was a pain behind the scenes, showing the other contestants videos about the horrors of milk-production, wearing t-shirts with sad eyed calfs saying "Why won't my mummy feed me?" Or maybe the lump is Prue's grandson.

gilbertharding

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on October 22, 2021, 12:41:30 PM
If only she liked eggs, she'd still be in it. Maybe she was a pain behind the scenes, showing the other contestants videos about the horrors of milk-production, wearing t-shirts with sad eyed calfs saying "Why won't my mummy feed me?" Or maybe the lump is Prue's grandson.

"Whah wern't moomeh feed meh?"

bgmnts

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on October 22, 2021, 12:41:30 PM
If only she liked eggs, she'd still be in it. Maybe she was a pain behind the scenes, showing the other contestants videos about the horrors of milk-production, wearing t-shirts with sad eyed calfs saying "Why won't my mummy feed me?" Or maybe the lump is Prue's grandson.

Didnt she ride horses? I highly doubt she was a vegan in that sense. Maybe a plant based diet person.

jamiefairlie

She seemed to speak entirely in that weird croaky "vocal fry" way, like an extended groan.

Blue Jam



dissolute ocelot

Quote from: bgmnts on October 22, 2021, 01:06:23 PM
Didnt she ride horses? I highly doubt she was a vegan in that sense. Maybe a plant based diet person.
As PETA says "We can connect with horses in our care and have a meaningful and mutually beneficial relationship with these sensitive animals without climbing on top of them."

She was happy to make eggy technicals. She has the air of one of those vegan trolls who like shouting at you for eating gelatine then rush home to gobble down a bacon sarnie claiming "I listen to my body and eat what it tells me to!" (Sorry, I can't do the voice.)

Mr Trumpet

She's clearly not militant about it all, faking it or otherwise. She wasn't shown telling the other bakers off in the tent or anything. It's no big deal.

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on October 22, 2021, 12:41:30 PM
Maybe she was a pain behind the scenes,

She hurled a KitchenAid at Noel Fielding's head after he tried to make her the victim of another dough-throw "prank". A cry for help to escape the tent as quickly as possible, even arranged a ride from her dad in advance. Can you imagine being stuck in the tent for six hours listening to "material" from Noel and Matt that's deemed not good enough for the broadcast cut? That's why she was sent packing and Noel was mysteriously absent for the end of the challenge.

bgmnts

It's gutting listening to that shit drivel because Matt Lucy's was George Dawes ffs.

Blue Jam

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on October 22, 2021, 08:25:30 PM
As PETA says "We can connect with horses in our care and have a meaningful and mutually beneficial relationship with these sensitive animals without climbing on top of them."

She was happy to make eggy technicals. She has the air of one of those vegan trolls who like shouting at you for eating gelatine then rush home to gobble down a bacon sarnie claiming "I listen to my body and eat what it tells me to!" (Sorry, I can't do the voice.)

Or maybe her lifestyle choices are just personal and no-one else's business? Least of all PeTA's...

Quote from: Mr Trumpet on October 22, 2021, 10:47:31 PM
She's clearly not militant about it all, faking it or otherwise. She wasn't shown telling the other bakers off in the tent or anything. It's no big deal.

Yes, she wasn't militant at all, people should leave her be as she left them be.

bgmnts

Sort of but then she is making a song and dance about doing all vegan baking so seems like she was trying to just find a gimmick to try and go further in the comp.

Fair enough though.

Gurke and Hare

She wasn't making a song and dance about it at all. The show might have been, but she seemed to be just getting on with it to varying degrees of success.

jamiefairlie

Noel is fucking awful, he's so desperate for laughter validation that it's creepy, like a stalker Colin Hunt. It's also affected Matt who was quite witty at first but he's been pulled into the cunt gutter by Fielding.

Blue Jam

Has Pijlstaart given up on this series in disgust?

One of the few episodes where I'd have gladly eaten absolutely everything that was served up. Would pop Gorg's raw sausage pie back in the oven for a bit, mind. Stuck a probe in it, did you? Prue's 81, mate, an attack of the exploding squits could finish her off at this point.

Crystelle's terrine pie sounded and looked absolutely phenomenal and they've put the recipe up on the website so I'll attempt to give it a go at some point:

https://thegreatbritishbakeoff.co.uk/recipes/all/crystelle-curried-chicken-potato-terrine-pie/

Mr Trumpet

The cop made bacon donuts. There's a joke in there somewhere but I lack the wit to see it

dissolute ocelot

I'd have loved to see how Freya got on this week. Good luck making vegan chouxnuts. (Although the rest would be within her skill set, the judges seemed keen on meat pies.)

I'm definitely warming to Lizzie, who seems to resemble someone who wandered in off the street and been handed a Magimix, in contrast to other contestants who look like it's their life plan to get a sophisticated cooking show. Her disdain for the fake donuts was brilliant.

Also an emotional moment with Crystelle beating the Axis powers. She seems to have overtaken Chigs as the potential dark horse candidate, and her pie was amazing.

George continues to be terrible. Amanda has been close to the bottom for many weeks, so it's not surprising she's gone, and I can't help thinking that getting Chigs to try and rescue her pie wouldn't have impressed the judges. but how often can George serve up raw food that looks a mess?

Finally, if you're looking for judging scandals, I wasn't convinced by the judging on the pies for the aesthetic pleasingness of a slice. There were an awful lot of pink blobs with green bits, some getting praised, some being damned. No idea what a terrine pie is supposed to look like inside. Props to Lizzie's fish for actually looking like something.

Thomas

I flinch from pie week. Thick-crust pies make me think of cannibalism. Medieval crust and formless pink-grey meatstuff, the texture of wet TV static. You just know 40% of Ginsters are human gristle.

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on October 28, 2021, 10:20:37 AM
an attack of the exploding squits could finish her off at this point.

I did have a thought that that's what happened to Noel when he disappeared from the third part of last weeks show.

Blue Jam

Quote from: Mr Trumpet on October 28, 2021, 10:22:24 AM
The cop made bacon donuts. There's a joke in there somewhere but I lack the wit to see it

Pastry pigs as well

Pijlstaart

Baklava seems nasty for a technical, but surprised they'd got this far without doing filo. Interesting too that they kept insisting it was greek, seems like a good way to reignite street brawls across north london.

Jurgen utilises ube as a nod to his roly mo past, it's been confirmed now, the purple beast hidden away in the dark, and the certainty that it will always emerge. Felt like the other fimbles wore their flaws on their sleeve, it's important you show children complex characters or they'll end up stunted, but roly mo kept his flaws hidden away in his sad little cave. Nobody likes an overachiever.

Wonder why chigs is always so goggle-eyed and skittish, is he haunted by accidents of his boy racer past, visions of bollards flying through the citreon saxo window, searching for a little bit of peace in his cake, but the dubstep is always there, thumping away in his mind. Would love to watch him deal with a burst water pipe.

Didn't have time to watch the ending, but it was a foregone conclusion anyway, thank god Gorg is finally and definitely gone, he didn't even attempt to cook his showstopper for the second straight week, preferring instead to clobber it about and snarl from beneath a bridge. Ogres always eat their meat raw, and watching him procure an entire fucked sheeps head from his loincloth and gnaw at it must have finally brought the judges to their senses. He's finally gone. A man only intermittently capable of bilateral symmetry, a man whose entire back half starfishes inward to a rectum around which his entire body, mind and faith revolves. Gone. Back to the swamp he goes, tearful apologies all round, forced marches past Freya's Snow White coffin, Paul Hollywood having scaled the cliffs of irrectitude finds nothing and plunges back down in a return to decency, at long last Gorg is gone.