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Beans on toast

Started by eagle_bearer, October 16, 2021, 04:13:03 PM

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Fr.Bigley

All day breakfast in a can on toast is something I've seen a friend eating a lot. Personally, I find beans exhausting dull, so avoid them if I can. Ambivalence is my stance.


poo

Haven't read the thread but beans on toast is incredible

imitationleather

I wonder what a can of beans on a plate of hash browns would be like.

Fr.Bigley

I'd imagine a bit like a plate of beans with hash browns on it.

imitationleather

Quote from: Fr.Bigley on October 17, 2021, 12:08:30 AM
I'd imagine a bit like a plate of beans with hash browns on it.

Fuck off would it be anything like that.

Fr.Bigley

Quote from: imitationleather on October 17, 2021, 12:11:20 AM
Fuck off would it be anything like that.

I'm serious I've seen one in a restaurant, in Spain. You can have both with anything over there. Serious.

imitationleather

Quote from: Fr.Bigley on October 17, 2021, 12:14:00 AM
I'm serious I've seen one in a restaurant, in Spain. You can have both with anything over there. Serious.

Someone I know works in a 'spoons kitchen and he once got an order through of someone ordering:

Avril Lavigne

Quote from: imitationleather on October 17, 2021, 12:05:00 AM
I wonder what a can of beans on a plate of hash browns would be like.

Literally my Saturday Treat meal

Fr.Bigley

Mushy peas instead of beans...actually not a bad idea at all  I'd eat that shit.

imitationleather

Quote from: Avril Lavigne on October 17, 2021, 12:18:11 AM
Literally my Saturday Treat meal

Feel free to invite me round any Saturday.

I hate baked beans and always have. Now I can't even eat them because my colon lining would shred itself into a million pieces and fly out of my arsehole like two cups of damp confetti so I'm happy that yet another of my correct opinions has been essentialised into my being at the biological level.

imitationleather

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on October 17, 2021, 12:24:34 AM
my colon lining would shred itself into a million pieces and fly out of my arsehole like two cups of damp confetti

If I had a dollar for every time I've heard that chat-up line...

Are you a tin of baked beans? Because my arsehole has dilated so much I've absorbed the stool.

Captain Z

I like beans on toast (but I couldn't eat a whole one), but recently more often than not I've been doing beans on hash browns. Get on it ASAP.

imitationleather

Are you a tin of baked bins? Because I've seen you around Kwik Save and I'd pay 9p for you.

Fr.Bigley

Slightly off topic but can related, I think replacing labels on tinned goods with other tinned goods would be a lot of fun. Bought peaches? Get dog food.


imitationleather

Quote from: Fr.Bigley on October 17, 2021, 12:41:50 AM
Slightly off topic but can related, I think replacing labels on tinned goods with other tinned goods would be a lot of fun. Bought peaches? Get dog food.



Pretty sure this was the plot of a Tintin book.

imitationleather

Professor Calculus and the Whole Tinned Chicken


Quote from: imitationleather on October 17, 2021, 12:44:22 AM
Professor Calculus and the Whole Tinned Chicken

Tintin and ...Mille Sabords, This One Is Boot Polish! was withdrawn from sale in the early 1980s.

Avril Lavigne

Quote from: Captain Z on October 17, 2021, 12:36:49 AM
I like beans on toast (but I couldn't eat a whole one), but recently more often than not I've been doing beans on hash browns. Get on it ASAP.

This guy knows what's up

itsfredtitmus

Has to be a slight lick of butter on the toast, mind

Tony Tony Tony

Great thing about skinheads on a raft is the beans can be done in the microwave saving on washing up.

If only those science boffins could come up with a machine that cooks bread to crispy perfection without any real effort my life would be complete.

imitationleather

Quote from: Tony Tony Tony on October 17, 2021, 04:49:38 AM
If only those science boffins could come up with a machine that cooks bread to crispy perfection without any real effort my life would be complete.

The most powerful oven in the world is your imagination. If you use the power of the brain God gave you everything and anything can be the most delicious food ever cooked with zero white goods needed, and this includes raw bread. Simply eat it and activate your mind to the "crispy toast just the way I like it" setting and you're away.

It's a bit tricky at first but once you've mastered this there's no limit to what you can do. I personally love making my mind think I'm eating sausages that have been thoroughly done under the grill while chomping them from the pack as I walk around Tesco.

Johnny Foreigner

Quote from: the science eel on October 16, 2021, 09:10:51 PM
yes but this is by NO means 'beans on toast'.

the Germans have a word for it - but it's not 'beans on toast'

Well, I have a degree in German, and I could not possibly conceive of a German word for a  beans-on-toast misapplication.

You would probably say Bohnen auf Toast, or if they aren't, keine Bohnen auf Toast.

amateur

Beans on toast with ketchup on top thank you.

Brian Freeze

No mention of bacon on top of the beans on top of the cheese on top of the toast?

Washed down with a pint of full fat milk.

Proper job.

Fr.Bigley


TrenterPercenter

Woooooooa-oooooooa-ooooooah mysterious beans! I wanna get close to you!

Ok bean amateurs here is the 411 on beans.

Baked Beans are great, anyone who disagrees should be thrown in the tower.  Heinz are good and so are Branston; own brands Sainos and Aldi are good also, Tesco/Asda alright but a bit sweet. 

Standard bean interactions should be a splash of Worcester sauce (it's got "fish sauce" in it) and/or white pepper (not too much though).  People that put butter in their beans are almost certainly sex criminals of some sort and making them spicy etc is acceptable but is a thing in itself (fry some onions and fresh chopped chillies then add beans for the real deal).  Any thick white or brown bread will suffice and the correct configuration is 1 centre "boat" and 2 pieces cut diagonally and arranged to make a star.  Again, those that cut toast horizontally or "place the beans next to the toast" need to take a long hard look at themselves. 

The best topping is a runny fried egg, fuck cheese this isn't toastie or ones of those fancy burritos, the white of the fried egg is the perfect flavour balancer for the baked bean sauce (egg and tomato) and the yolk should be split so that it runs into the beans to enhance the flavour further.

This is the best way to eat beans on toast; I have been eating beans on toast professionally for many decades and genuinely get nervous if there are ever no tins of beans in my house.

Bonus moan: What about those places that give you a little ramekin of beans with your breakfast - what is all that about!