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Queen Elizabeth DEAD

Started by Mister Six, October 20, 2021, 03:27:09 PM

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Mister Six

...sad to pull out of Northern Ireland trip due to ill health.

Seen with a walking stick in public for the first time in years last week.

Charles almost certainly in permanent state of tumescence.

DEAN SOON?

TrenterPercenter

would have gone with


......tired and unable to go to on her Northern Ireland hollibobs[nb]and this would have just used to angry the blood[/nb]

Beagle 2

It does feel like the sort of week that she might pop off. Wet, dismal, British.

King Charlie blazing down The Mall in his cheesemobile flicking the V's by the end of the week, mark my words.

Pink Gregory

The one sympathy that I have with her maj Liz thee second is that she is not going to be able to have a normal death like yer nan at a quite understandable age.

Might put a dampener on her jubilee celebrations next year if she ends up being dead.

Beagle 2

Not from her perspective. I reckon she'd be made up to be dead as fuck throughout.

Gregory Torso

Soulja boy off in this hoe
watch me crank it, watch me roll
watch me crank that soulja boy

Fucking hell with that song cruising down the Mall in her open top hearse

barking orders at the hats: soulja boy tell em yeah

nice tantrum, el majestrino de mardy arse

Ferris

The article says she's "in good spirits". Soon be medical attention "out of an abundance of caution", then it's curtains.

Buelligan

That sounds extremely promising.
QuoteNelson's body was placed in a cask filled with brandy on 22 October 1805 and was then transported to Gibraltar on HMS Victory, arriving there on 28 October 1805. In Gibraltar the brandy was replaced by spirits of wine to preserve the body[nb]https://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/nelson/gallery8/[/nb].

Nowhere Man

She's probably got a team of doctors in every room of the house, defibrilators and pints of blood in hand at the ready

Quote from: Buelligan on October 20, 2021, 04:27:28 PM
Nelson's body was placed in a cask filled with brandy on 22 October 1805 and was then transported to Gibraltar on HMS Victory, arriving there on 28 October 1805. In Gibraltar the brandy was replaced by spirits of wine to preserve the body[1].
1.    https://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/nelson/gallery8/

fuck me i wanna get cunted on the nelson vintage

Buelligan

Heheh, I was just thinking that.  I'm sure the folks in Gibraltar all had a snifter or three.

Tony Tony Tony

Hope she doesn't cark it anytime soon.

There would be shedloads of my fave telly cancelled.

And if it does happen before her jubilee will the extra bank holiday be cancelled?

Buelligan

Hopefully she'll do it over Christmas, that way at least everyone will be pissed and the Speech will be cancelled.

Twit 2

Bet she's pre-recorded another quarter century's worth so she can cunt on at us beyond death.

Beagle 2

Two versions for each year, depending on whether it was an annus horribilis or a fantastic anus.

Imagine Charles doing the Christmas message with his fucking voice and his fat fingers. Dreadful. Bin him off already.

Ferris

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on October 20, 2021, 04:50:01 PM
Imagine Charles doing the Christmas message with his fucking voice and his fat fingers. Dreadful. Bin him off already.

Imagine his coupon gurning at you from every fiver in your pocket. Doesn't bear thinking about.

madhair60

You cannot treat the death of THE QUEEN with this level of flippancy. It's not funny. It is simply disrespectful.

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on October 20, 2021, 04:51:06 PM
Imagine his coupon gurning at you from every fiver in your pocket. Doesn't bear thinking about.

"Heads or tails?"

Tails. For fuck's sake, please let it be tails.

JamesTC

Since she has two birthdays, she'll have to die twice too.

Buelligan

Like a dog.  Only dogs have seven or so.  Still, just like a fucking dog.

Quote from: JamesTC on October 20, 2021, 04:56:37 PM
Since she has two birthdays, she'll have to die twice too.

Ian Fleming considers rewrite.

Beagle 2

What if Charles uses the first xmas message to settle his beef with Nicholas Witchell? Ten minutes reeling off insults and flobbing on an unflattering watercolour of Witchell.

"Bastard"

*flob*

"Bootlicker"

*flob*


Maybe they could draft Jeannette Charles in to fill in for her whilst she's poorly/dead. Just need to eke it out until the bank holiday.

Buelligan

I'm hoping, if she does abandon us, she at least does the decent thing and takes Charles with her.  I'm certain it's what Phil would've wanted.

justin_bennett

She had better hang on till after those 2 holidays next June - I'm banking on them to avoid having to take sickies to go to Primavera.  After that she can DIE DIE DIE.

When the Queen dies will Nicholas Witchell have a wank in the office toilet?  You know, just to calm his nerves?

Fucking hell, Jeannette Charles is 93. It's not looking good for that bank holiday, lads.

Quote from: Mrs Wogans lemon drizzle on October 20, 2021, 05:24:23 PM
When the Queen dies will Nicholas Witchell have a wank in the office toilet?  You know, just to calm his nerves?

Witchell only does outside broadcasts these days and he's already been told about trying to flush his tissues down the portaloo.