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Queen Elizabeth DEAD

Started by Mister Six, October 20, 2021, 03:27:09 PM

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Tony Tony Tony

I believe the Queen posts on CaB on a regular basis. She likes to know what the lowly scum amongst her subjects are getting het up about.

idunnosomename

Quote from: Tony Tony Tony on October 20, 2021, 11:34:48 PM
I believe the Queen posts on CaB on a regular basis. She likes to know what the lowly scum amongst her subjects are getting het up about.
Oh. Why's that then?

Butchers Blind

What if she died next year on the same day as the 'Dead Diana 25' celebrations? The confusion.

Ferris

Quote from: GoblinAhFuckScary on October 20, 2021, 11:12:01 PM
go to the pub for a few hours. check back on thread. queen not dead. fucking shite forum

And we wonder why more The Queens don't post on here.

thenoise

I hope she lives long enough to go doolally first. Looking forward to Nicholas Witchell's attempts to explain away her increasingly bizarre and deranged behaviour, until he can no longer help but admit it.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Stag in the gob, done. Gone.

That's what we pray for.

Alberon

But what would Phil do without her?

peanutbutter

Quote from: justin_bennett on October 20, 2021, 05:14:57 PM
She had better hang on till after those 2 holidays next June - I'm banking on them to avoid having to take sickies to go to Primavera.  After that she can DIE DIE DIE.
Are they week 1 or week 2?

QUEEN GONE as the head of state of Barbados, as the country elects its first president.

https://barbadostoday.bb/2021/10/20/gg-elected-to-become-first-president/

For God's sake, Barbados, show some respect. A woman is ill.


touchingcloth

Quote from: idunnosomename on October 21, 2021, 11:23:52 AM
She's just restin

A reepa queen a lippa derpa dip
Lookin like a roppa lappa Charlie chip

Shoulders?-Stomach!


It's imminent. Today's Guardian has an article about the BBC that starts off on Laura K moving jobs, before switching to discuss how the BBC is obsessed with how to cover the queen's death. Paragraphs of stuff like this:
QuoteOne BBC individual who is not moving jobs is Andrew Marr, who has been given a fresh contract to continue presenting his eponymous Sunday morning political interview show. Sources suggested part of the reason for this is his work producing BBC programmes that will be broadcast when the Queen dies.

How to cover this inevitable and era-defining news story is increasingly playing a role in shaping the BBC's planning for the next few years. Coverage of the end of the monarch's life is due to be presented by the News at Ten host Huw Edwards, although he recently suggested he was considering his future as host of the corporation's evening flagship show.
It would be much more fun and more respectful if they just decided she was immortal and burnt all their plans, and in the unlikely event she carks it, Tess Daly or Jay Blades or Nigella or whoever is on TV at just that moment has to anchor the next four weeks of non-stop coverage.

touchingcloth

Looking forward to the "that coffin looks well moist" comments when the funeral is commentated by Dapper Laughs.

Bigfella

When Philip went, the newsreaders just kept repeating the same thing for three days straight: he did some army stuff, played with horses, promoted enviromental issues before they were popular.  One guy also exonerated the 'spear chucker' question, helpfully explaining that it was a callback to the locals previously telling Philip that they did in fact throw spears at each other.  He kept quiet about 'slitty eyes' and the thing with the blind guy.  Wonder if they have better scripts prepared for the life of Elizabeth Windsor.   

Bernice

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on October 21, 2021, 06:48:16 PM
One BBC individual who is not moving jobs is Andrew Marr, who has been given a fresh contract to continue presenting his eponymous Sunday morning political interview show. Sources suggested part of the reason for this is his work producing BBC programmes that will be broadcast when the Queen dies.

How to cover this inevitable and era-defining news story is increasingly playing a role in shaping the BBC's planning for the next few years. Coverage of the end of the monarch's life is due to be presented by the News at Ten host Huw Edwards, although he recently suggested he was considering his future as host of the corporation's evening flagship show.

This is very, very funny to me. The notion of them piling up reams and reams of material, on a topic about which there is very little to say that hasn't already been said, standing up and doing the 'we're so good at telly' bit. Beautiful.

Ferris

Quote from: touchingcloth on October 21, 2021, 07:37:11 PM
Looking forward to the "that coffin looks well moist" comments when the funeral is commentated by Dapper Laughs.

Wheel Frankie Boyle out to do his "haunted" joke.

And Fiona Bruce made a face.

Quote from: Bigfella on October 21, 2021, 07:41:04 PM
When Philip went, the newsreaders just kept repeating the same thing for three days straight: he did some army stuff, played with horses, promoted enviromental issues before they were popular.  One guy also exonerated the 'spear chucker' question, helpfully explaining that it was a callback to the locals previously telling Philip that they did in fact throw spears at each other.  He kept quiet about 'slitty eyes' and the thing with the blind guy.  Wonder if they have better scripts prepared for the life of Elizabeth Windsor.   

Not sure Liz is on the record saying much if any mad, racist shit. Institutionally racist, definitely, but not one for calling black people wogs in public.

My fave story involving Her Actual Madge is when she took some visiting Saudi prince for a spin in her Range Rover and scared him shitless. Not because she was hooning about like a boy racer, but because the Saudis think that women are incapable of driving and he thought she was going to lose control and kill him, pottering about at 30.

Rich Uncle Skeleton

Quote from: Twit 2 on October 20, 2021, 08:59:05 PM
Yep, 418 years ago.

I shouldn't have found this so funny.


And by that I mean out of RESPECT, you pack of dogs.

Cuellar

She has actually died now, though, that's the thing.

Cold Meat Platter

Oh fuck! She is actually dead....




















pleased to be back at Windsor Castle after a 'precautionary' stay in hospital!

Jittlebags

Metamorphosis into ultimate form imminent.

Ferris

Quote from: Cold Meat Platter on October 21, 2021, 10:37:08 PM
back at Windsor Castle after a 'precautionary' stay in hospital!

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on October 20, 2021, 04:16:02 PM
The article says she's "in good spirits". Soon be medical attention "out of an abundance of caution", then it's curtains.

So that's step two.

I'd keep the receipt if I was buying her a Christmas present, put it that way.

Strict Royal Protocol means the passing of a monarch cannot be officially announced until 10am.

If she's dead, then they won't be making it public yet.

idunnosomename

oh she's very good at doing all the stuff she's supposed to. she really couldn't be any better. even though her position of privilege is loathsome and she should have her head cut off.

Phil however was a complete fucking bully who loved using his unimpeachable position to be a total cunt to plebs. genuinely horrible man

Enzo

where are the screenshots of army whatsapp groups when you need 'em?

Cold Meat Platter

October 21, 2021, 11:02:13 PM #86 Last Edit: October 21, 2021, 11:15:14 PM by Cold Meat Platter
BBC article gist:

"The Queen spent Wednesday night in hospital for preliminary medical checks and is now back at Windsor Castle "stone fucking dead", Buckingham Palace said.

The 95-year-old monarch returned from hospital at lunchtime on Thursday, the palace said.

The Queen was said to be "dead" after cancelling a visit to Northern Ireland on Wednesday.

She was given medical advice to grave for a few days, after a busy schedule of public engagements.

In a statement on Thursday night, Buckingham Palace said: "Following medical advice to grave for a few days, the Queen attended hospital on Wednesday afternoon for some preliminary investigations, returning to Windsor Castle at lunchtime today, and remains completely fucking dead.""

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-59004426

Captain Z

Quote from: Bigfella on October 21, 2021, 07:41:04 PM
When Philip went, the newsreaders just kept repeating the same thing for three days straight: he did some army stuff, played with horses, promoted enviromental issues before they were popular.  One guy also exonerated the 'spear chucker' question, helpfully explaining that it was a callback to the locals previously telling Philip that they did in fact throw spears at each other.  He kept quiet about 'slitty eyes' and the thing with the blind guy.  Wonder if they have better scripts prepared for the life of Elizabeth Windsor.

This really confused me at first, but now I understand you mean when "When Philip went [to Northern Ireland]". Please be more careful when you post things that make it sound like someone has died.

Uncle TechTip

In the Guardian:

QuoteThey added that the overnight stay was for practical reasons and she was working on Thursday afternoon, undertaking "light duties".

Signing a few OBEs, and reading letters sent by five year-olds.

Cold Meat Platter

"Preliminary" means something done in preparation for something. Death.