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March 28, 2024, 11:24:50 PM

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A thread for moaning on and on about how the Marvel films are shite

Started by Mister Six, November 04, 2021, 11:46:31 PM

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Replies From View

excuse me has there ever been a "marvel" film



if not i was thinking there could be like an ant-style man of some kind, plus also a captain america one of it and maybe an avengists

Goldentony

Serious reply, but the most annoying thing about these shit joke films for cunts is the tropes and presentation and content of them making their way into other films right down to how trailers are cut together. The shite humour might be the most invasive one, that shite distillation of "are we really doing that wow really with the thing? the thing with the? and the?" everywhere or the cannibalistic references to themselves, other properties, studios, actors, that balls. Recognising things. Big shite long game of recognising stuff. Turning an Easter Egg hunt into just walking the shop to buy one. Three hours of gifs. Just dull shit by bastards turned into every fuckers template. BAD. BAD FILMS. FUCK OFF WITH UNIVERSES YOU CUNTS.


Twit 2

I don't think it's hard to see the appeal of Marvel at all, same as I understand the appeal of eating McDonald's or sitting on my arse all day refreshing CaB. It's just easy, lazy shit to do. Marvel is cinematic junk food for people who can't be arsed. There's no substance, nothing at all, it's just a bunch of stuff in one ear and out the other, like a Greggs sausage roll going through your colon.

Goldentony

the appeal is easy to get, its colorful shit blowing up and funny bastards dressed mad isnt it, loud fucking music, big groups of people who all love them and talk about everything in them, and fair play, wish I had mates

Replies From View

When you see 30 films there in a list to watch, it looks like hard work to me.


Goldentony

you just look at them like episodes of auf widersehen pet, theres loads and loads but youve seen every episode 1000 times, these films are no more intimidating than auf wiedersehen pet

chveik

there's very little aesthetical variation from one film to the other so yeah it might as well be a tv series with a huge budget


itsfredtitmus

Quote from: Goldentony on November 05, 2021, 10:33:00 PM
the appeal is easy to get, its colorful shit blowing up and funny bastards dressed mad isnt it, loud fucking music, big groups of people who all love them and talk about everything in them, and fair play, wish I had mates
Be glad you are not friends with marvel nerds they're bigger wankers than you could ever imagine. Rid them from the world.

itsfredtitmus

Quote from: Goldentony on November 05, 2021, 10:45:44 PM
they're all shite you get the jist after one or two
It's exactly like the chorus to DJ Talent's I Say Britain!

Magnum Valentino

Almost feels like it's too late for new fans. It was easy for me as a comics fan watching one every two years, then one every year, then a few every year.

Also because we know now that they were designed to pay off in these big shared adventure films, there's a part of my brain that isn't able to recognize most of those Marvel films as internally valid. It's that rare case where it IS about the destination, not the journey.

But aye if someone said "watch these 30 films" I wouldn't bother. Same with getting into acclaimed TV series from US networks with those ridiculous 22-episode seasons. There's just no way.

If you find yourself being bothered by other people's enjoyment of things, what the fuck are you doing in those threads or websites would be my question. Mental health's hard enough to maintain when you're only worrying about your own.

elliszeroed

Do they always have to end in a fight? Not being sarcastic, but in a universe of super beings, it would be nice to see hero and villain be able to resolve their differences in a different way once in a while. Or perhaps a film with super beings which, not being a silly ironic comedy, doesn't feature the violence so much. There's so many possibilities, but, with the exception of Endgame, I always find myself bored in the final act.

samadriel

That's fair enough, I generally find the big climactic fights a bit tedious too. Dr Strange and Ant-Man & the Wasp are the only ones I can think of that don't end in a punch up.

Replies From View

Flip it on its head, blow the audience's mind.  Have a fist fight near the beginning and the aeroplane crashing / rescue scene at the end instead of the start.

Chedney Honks

It's quite healthy to be able to laugh at even the things you enjoy, rather than build a barricade around them.

Last night I watched a hilarious RiffTrax on No Regrets For Our Youth (Kurosawa, 1946) and I believe they're doing The Ballad of Narayama next week. You can't take this stuff too seriously.

The Mollusk

I'm all for the blurring of culture lines and all people of all walks of life enjoying all sorts of stuff (which I remember being a big deal 20 years ago when Penny Arcade webcomic lambasted jocks for getting into gaming because nerds need a thing they can take refuge in, and similarly as a kid I fucking seethed that popular lads in my class were enjoying Limp Bizkit because FUCK YOU, heavy rock music is my thing and it's where I go to escape cunts like Joe and Gary in maths mocking the band names tippexed on my bag, whereas nowadays I couldn't give a fuck that black metal got ripped off by all and sundry and is now effectively Trve Norwegian Pvmpkin Spice Latte) BUT I cannot deny that a big part of my loathing for these piss films is that you've got absolutely jacked steroid gym motherfuckers with top knots and shirts that say GET HENCH OR DIE TRYING who've also bizarrely got pictures of Captain America on their actual walls and do online quizzes to find out what their patronus is, the fuck are you doing mate, stop buying glass cabinets for your Funko Pop collection and go back to calling teachers gaylords and quoting Borat unironically.

Hello therapists reading this please DM me quotes on two sessions per month cheers.

Jerzy Bondov

When I was young the barber would try to talk to me about footie and I'd be like just cut my fucking hairs would you pal, but now my barber is my age and he asks if I've seen Venom 2 yet

The Mollusk

Gritty looking Polish labourers in paint stained trackies drinking cans of Zubr on street corners on about the macabre wit of Deadpool and the size of Thor's hammer, fucking state of it

Dickie_Anders

I think it's fucking sacrilege that Captain America was able to lift Thor's hammer.

Chollis


Dex Sawash

Watched Logan this morning and it was OK. Didn't mind the Star Track crossover at all.

Replies From View

Quote from: Jerzy Bondov on November 06, 2021, 10:39:25 AM
When I was young the barber would try to talk to me about footie and I'd be like just cut my fucking hairs would you pal, but now my barber is my age and he asks if I've seen Venom 2 yet

What's his secret?

evilcommiedictator

You lot can't stand 7 Police Academy films yet are happy with several trillion Marvel films each week?

By the time we get to having more Marvel films than Carry On films, then we're all allowed to hate them.

Blumf

Quote from: evilcommiedictator on November 06, 2021, 10:15:21 PM
By the time we get to having more Marvel films than Carry On films, then we're all allowed to hate them.

Four films to go, so one year left.

Scarlett Johansson is no Babs.


Lord Mandrake

Quote from: The Mollusk on November 06, 2021, 11:49:16 AM
Gritty looking Polish labourers in paint stained trackies drinking cans of Zubr on street corners on about the macabre wit of Deadpool and the size of Thor's hammer, fucking state of it

Weedy looking English office workers in ripped jeans sipping half pints of artisan beer in poncy bars on about
gritty looking Polish labourers in paint stained trackies drinking cans of Zubr on street corners on about the macabre wit of Deadpool and the size of Thor's hammer, fucking state of it

Thursday

The thing is, it's not like I think Marvel films are shite because I only watch whatever highbrow stuff. I got well into 80's Jackie Chan movies recently. Technically I'm watching old, subtitled films. But I'm watching lads smash the shit out of each other and do insane stunts in moving traffic and the like. Even less highbrow than Marvel movies really, but 100 times more exciting.

Chedney Honks

Sorry, I accidentally posted that under one of my thousands of other accounts.

Uncle TechTip