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Football Thread 2021/22 - Welcome to our new ISIS Taliban overlords

Started by chveik, November 06, 2021, 12:22:43 AM

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Kankurette

It's a shame Tuchel looks like a chihuahua, he's letting the Hot German Manager side down.

Chollis

My mum doesn't think Klopp is hot anymore without the glasses

jobotic

My friend's mum fancied Kevin keegan because he had "distinguished hair"

finnquark

Quote from: holyzombiejesus on November 06, 2021, 07:08:58 PM
Altrincham got a 90+5 minute equaliser in the FA Cup after being 2-0 down and that Halifax game sounds amazing too. Who gives a fuck about Barcelona.

Moultrincham. Replay under the lights week after next, perfect! Port Vale at Moss Lane in the 2nd round?

Kankurette

My mum thinks Thomas Tuchel's name sounds like an Enid Blyton character.
Quote from: Chollis on November 06, 2021, 10:21:30 PM
My mum doesn't think Klopp is hot anymore without the glasses
My mate who has a crush on Klopp agrees. I disagree, he's hotter.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: Kankurette on November 06, 2021, 09:32:45 PM
It's a shame Tuchel looks like a chihuahua, he's letting the Hot German Manager side down.

Doesn't get hotter than Felix Magath, a short tanned sex molester screaming verbals at you 39 miles into the daily cross country.

Thursday

Quote from: Kankurette on November 06, 2021, 09:32:45 PM
It's a shame Tuchel looks like a chihuahua, he's letting the Hot German Manager side down.

I thought he was looking a little better because of the stubble this season, but while he's technically not bald, for all intents and purposes he is bald. In a similar phase that I'm in actually where it'd almost be better just to go full bald instead of trying to hide or deny it and just embrace it. But I'm 34 and he's 48. It's really no age tp be wearing baseball caps to hide your baldness. At least a wool cap would be excusable because of the cold.

kalowski

Quote from: finnquark on November 06, 2021, 10:35:06 PM
Moultrincham. Replay under the lights week after next, perfect! Port Vale at Moss Lane in the 2nd round?
Me and the kids will be there. I've said before that Moult is my favourite player.
Meanwhile, in even more parochial news my lad's school team drew 1-1 against the monied independent power of Manchester Grammar School this morning.

DrGreggles

In the PL managers hotness table, the basement batttle is surely where it's at.

Dyche looks like a bollock.


phes

absolute disgrace that, footballers paying people to manage the one way torrent of abuse from permanently furious entitled twitter-addled sociopaths

Kankurette

People always complain about how bland footballers are on social media. Well, DERR. Look at the abuse Rashford gets, or McClean, or Keiren Westwood, or any other player who's a bit opinionated, no fucking wonder players stick to platitudes. Everything they say or do is analysed to death. Sheffield Wednesday come out on the pitch and the Facebook crowd are on there analysing every facial expression, every gesture. Players can't smile if they lose. Opposition players aren't allowed to be friendly to each other even if they're mates off the pitch. It just makes me cringe. Oh, but they get loads of money so we're entitled to call Tammy Abraham a n***** or send Pickford death threats or joke about Klopp's dead mum.
Quote from: DrGreggles on November 06, 2021, 11:19:35 PM
In the PL managers hotness table, the basement batttle is surely where it's at.

Dyche looks like a bollock.
Whoever said he looks like he sounds was onto something.

phes

when you look at what twitter has done to the minds and careers of countless celebrities, you gotta think that for a sportsperson, paying them to take control of your social media and staying as far away from it as possible is a total no-brainer

Kankurette

Matt Le Tissier is definitely an example of a cunt who has gone bananas. So is Chris Turner. There are some players who have shown very ugly sides of themselves on that site and it is not a place for civilised discourse. I'd take dog pics or Roberto Firmino going 'MY KIDZ LET ME SHOW U THEM' than 'COVID isn't real' or 'Jacob Rees-Mogg should be PM[nb]that was Chris Turner[/nb]'.

'90s players were lucky. They never had everyone and their mum analysing every aspect of their lives. Only the real big names like Maradona or Beckham and that was because they either had chaotic lives off the pitch or were porking a fellow sleb. Watching Everton as a kid, I never obsessed over whether Kevin Campbell was smiling or not or whether Franny Jeffers had his head down. It's weird.

Kankurette

Quote from: Spode on November 06, 2021, 02:55:10 PM
Souness has got a weird obsession with stopping crosses. Despite the fact that both goals there were much less about the delivery getting in, but the hopeless positioning and reaction of Bailly and Shaw trying to deal with it.

Apparently full backs shouldn't worry about anything going on around them and should just sprint out at the ball on repeat for the entire 90 minutes
Or just stand there like lemons. There's only so much De Gea can do when he's got those turnips in front of him.

imitationleather

Klopp was loads hotter when he was balding and had his proper teeth.

I am afraid anyone who thinks different is the reason so many people have body image problems. Well done, you lot.

imitationleather

Is it bad to say Nuno had the same unmistakeable sexual energy as Osama bin Laden? Perhaps, but a compliment is a compliment. Both clearly gents who would not stop until you were completely satisfied.

chveik

after a few months at spurs he had the same look in his eyes that people having spent 20 years in Guantanamo

imitationleather


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Must have missed whenever Cove Rangers entered Scottish League One

Some team called Kelty Hearts in League Two an all.

Fucks going on

buttgammon

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on November 07, 2021, 07:57:47 AM
Must have missed whenever Cove Rangers entered Scottish League One

Some team called Kelty Hearts in League Two an all.

Fucks going on

They tried to start some sort of promotion/relegation between the fourth tier and the Highland/Lowland leagues but opened a portal to HS Art by mistake.


Psybro

Quote from: holyzombiejesus on November 06, 2021, 04:56:17 PM
No-one will give a fuck but this time last year, the Vale were getting kicked out of the FA Cup by Kings Lynn. Today we're beating a team a division above us 5-1.

Contrasting with Stevenage's form since he left inexorably leads to the conclusion that Tom Pett is the greatest living footballer.

Kankurette

Quote from: imitationleather on November 07, 2021, 02:42:17 AM
We're both thinking it: Conte is no good in bed.
That would explain why he tries to control the sex lives of his players.
Quote from: chveik on November 07, 2021, 02:03:02 AM
after a few months at spurs he had the same look in his eyes that people having spent 20 years in Guantanamo
Spurs really are the Everton of the south. Managing Everton made Moyes look like a crocodile handbag, Martinez went bald, Koeman started looking like a fat tramp and Silva developed a thousand-yard stare. Conte's going to need a new weave by the time he's finished.

On the subject of ageing, Carlton Palmer has aged best out of the '90s Wednesday squad. When I saw him and Pressman at Grantham, you'd be forgiven for thinking Palmer was the younger one, especially now Pressman has started wearing glasses. Palmer still does daily 5 mile runs or something ridiculous.

KennyMonster

Quote from: badaids on November 06, 2021, 08:07:59 PM
This is spot on.  But who on earth do they think is going to come in and save them?  Must have someone up their sleeve already.

Yeah, I'd be surprised if Webber hadn't already got a shortlist drawn up even at the end of last season.

Also could bea wildcard who hasn't managed in England before or even been head coach before, just like Farke.

Sorry to see Farke go, the Prem was and is always going to be a struggle and the continuity to bounce back at the end of next season would be an advantage of keeping Farke (then let him leave on a high after securing promotion fr the 3rd time).

Also just signed a 4 year contract a few months ago, must've cost a bit to terminate it (unless there were points per game clauses).

Shoulders?-Stomach!

QuotePalmer still does daily 5 mile runs or something ridiculous.

Rather different body types, he and Pressman. Prez was GK coach at Scunny for a bit iirc and seeing him do the routines was like watching someone moving a large sofa through a doorway.

Kankurette

True, Palmer has always been a long drink of water, unlike the one-man Chonk Chart that is Kevin Pressman. Owlstalk has a few threads about people encountering Wednesday players in the wild and any encounters involving Waddle, Hirst or Sheridan involved pubs. The majority of encounters involving Pressman - and this is not me being a bitch, it is true - involved food. Someone said he nicked their mum's sausage roll.

Incidentally, Palmer's at Hillsborough with Waddle today watching Wednesday play Plymouth in the FA Cup (the evil ex-stepdad who introduced me to Wednesday has Plymouth as a second team so he must be feeling a bit confused right now).

Conte's first PL game today. Expect lots of Italian screaming while Rafa Benitez cries inside.

Thursday


JamesTC

Only scoring one in the win at Old Trafford was the result that really showed he wasn't good enough.

But really they have been abject for most of 2021. Happy for all the non-Newcastle clubs to sort themselves out and pull themselves away from the bottom. Leeds next.